In the Shallows

It was a quiet night after we had gotten the baby some food in her system, every now and again she would stir awake and cry for a second but for the most part, she seemed to be doing quite well. I think she was the only one who really got some sleep around here, I, myself couldn't shut my eyes for more than five minutes without jolting awake. I felt so exposed for some reason, like I couldn't fully keep her safe unless I was awake. It was amusing watching her sleep, the little twitches in her face whenever a slight sound would erupt in the silence, the small noises that came from her mouth, it was crazy how beautiful she was in a world that was so ugly.

Carl was stepping up in his newly big brother role, constantly making sure she was alright and making sure she was fed nicely. I couldn't be any more proud of him, he chose the hard road, the road of staying strong and keeping an eye out for his little sister. Any one of us, after the loss, could have gone down the easy route; just like Rick. But, I didn't really blame him, how could I? I'd do the same thing if I had lost Daryl in some way like that.

"Here, let me hold her, you go eat." Beth gave me a bright smile, holding out her hands, she took over, smiling again. I adored Beth, there was something about her that made me feel like there was hope, she was always smiling even when I knew that she didn't want to be. She was a young woman who had optimistic thoughts and a mission to keep herself positive. I almost envied her, she had the attitude Daryl wanted me to have.

"Thanks," reaching over I grabbed a bowl of oatmeal, spooning it into my mouth slowly. Anyone would figure that after the constant search for food, they'd be starving. Me? I hardly had an appeitite anymore, I just didn't find it necessary anymore. All that was imprinted in my brain was to run and survive. Food somehow got lost in that equation.

She shook her head, "Anytime, you had her all night. You're probably exhausted."

I chuckled, "Aren't we all?"

"Everybody okay?"

My head snapped up, as well as everyone elses, standing outside the gated doorway was Rick, my spoon fell from my hands as Maggie answered. He looked slightly better, not so much delusional as before. I swallowed hard, my eyes scanning ver him, "What about you?"

He looked at me for a moment and then downward, his voice raspy, "I cleared out the boiler block."

I squinted my eyes, turning my head to look at Daryl, him and I exchanging glances. He pulled the spoon from his mouth, "How many were there?"

"I don't know, a dozen, two dozen." He sighed, ignoring all of our faces, he patted Carl's back, "I have to get back, just wanted to check on Carl."

Glenn stood up, his voice laced with concern, "Rick, we can handle taking out the bodies. You don't have to."

Rick scrunched up his face as if we didn't understand him, and he was right to do so. We didn't understand him. "No, I do." He walked towards Daryl, "Everyone have a gun and a knife?"

Daryl nodded, "Yeah, we're runnin' low on ammo, though."

Glenn spoke up, "Maggie and me were planning on making a run this afternoon--"

"--I'm going to go too. We found a phone book with some places we can hit. While they look for bullets and weapons, I'm going to look for things for the baby." I chewed my lip as Daryl gave me a slight look.

"We cleared out the generator room," he gave him another look that meant something along the lines of 'we'll talk about it later', "Axel's there tryin' to fix it, case of an emergency." His jaw tightened as he locked eyes with Rick, something Daryl hardly did with people, "We're gonna sweep the lower levels as well."

Rick nodded, "Good, good."

We all watched as he headed back out the way he came, ignoring our calls for him to stay. I didn't understand why he needed to go back, there was nothing else for him out there. All he needed and all he had left was sitting in the same room as me. His son and his daughter, that's where his main focus should be, not out there. We sat in silence for a few more minutes before Daryl sat up, his voice gruff and stern.

"Alright, might as well go now and see what we can round up down there." He turned towards Oscar, "You come with me. Carl?"

Carl's eyes lit up, "Me?"

He nodded, "Come on, kid. You're comin' too."

I stood up, my hands flat on the table, "I'm going," turning towards Beth, "are you okay?"

Beth nodded back, "Of course, we've got plenty of formula until you guys go for a run. I'll be fine, she'll be sleeping most of the time, anyway."

I squeezed her shoulder and gave her a slight smile, turning towards Daryl and the other two, we started to head out of the cellblock. Grabbing a metal pole with a sharp end on my out, "We'll be back." It took a few minutes for us to reach the lower level, it still gave off that eerie feeling as we walked slowly and quietly through the halls.

Oscar piped up softly, "Check it out, man." He referred to the door that kept opening and closing, it wasn't much of threat, considering the door wasn't that heavy, "Must have missed it last night."

Daryl squinted his eyes, pressing a finger against the door, "Probably just one or two of 'em." Poking the door, he shrugged "Don't look they got much fight."

"Shouldn't we take them out or see--"

"--they ain't goin' nowhere." He spoke, giving me a sincere look, "We'll take care of it on the way back." He walked ahead of me, whistling to signal Carl, "Come on." Holding up his flashlight they started walking, leaving me to follow behind, not that I minded. "You know, my mom, she liked her wine. She liked to smoke in bed, Virginia Slims." I felt a wave of chills run through my body, Daryl hardly talked about his mother, I had only met her once, just before the fire.

He leaned around the corner, checking for anything suspicious before continuing, "I was playing out with the kids in the neighborhood, I could do that with Merle gone. They had bikes, I didn't. We heard sirens gettin' louder, they jumped on their bikes, ran after it, you know, hopin' to see somethin' worth seeing. I ran after 'em, but I couldn't keep up, I ran around a corner and saw my friends lookin' at me." Daryl paused for a moment, "Hell, I saw everybody lookin' at me, fire trucks everywhere, people from the neighborhood. It was my house they were there for. It was my mom in bed, burnt down to nothin'. That was the hard part. You know, she was just gone. Erased. Nothin' left of her. People said it was better that way." He gave a scoff, "I don't know, just made it seem like it wasn't real, you know?"

Carl sighed heavily, causing Daryl to stop, "I shot my mom." They stared at each other for a moment, "She was out, hadn't turned yet." He swallowed hard, "I ended it, it was real." Looking down, he shuffled his feet, "Sorry about your mom."

Daryl nodded, his voice low, "Sorry 'bout yours." He reached out, gripping his shoulder, "Come on."

It took a little less than half an hour to finish out half of the sweeping on lower levels, it consisted of a few geeks and a lot of rotting corpses. We did out best to shove them out of the way but for the most part, the lower levels were pretty secured. The moment we returned, Glenn and Maggie were ready to go ahead and make the run.

"Hey, Lex, wait up a minute."

Turning towards Glenn and Maggie, I gave them an apologetic look which with they returned with saying they would be waiting by the cars. I nodded off and then turned towards Daryl, "What?"
He stared at me for a moment, his blue eyes gleaming, "Ya already know how I feel 'bout this, but just stay safe, okay?"

I half smiled, letting my arms drop from my chest, I walked closer to him, pulling him into a hug, whispering in his ear, "Nothing's going to happen, okay." I pulled apart, my eyes trailing over his face and stopping at his lips, "Keep everybody in line." I pressed my lips quickly to his, "I'll be back."

Daryl gripped my upper arm firmly, pulling me back into his chest, his mouth over mine in a matter of seconds. I wanted to faint from the desire and intensity of his kiss, it was unlike anything I had ever experienced. Daryl kept surprising me and before anyone would know it, I would probably be floating onto cloud nine. "Now you can go."

I smiled, "Keep an eye on the baby." I turned away, walking towards the doorway before he called out my name, turning around, I rose a brow, "Yeah?" Daryl hesitated, his teeth chewing on the bottom of his lip, I sighed, "Daryl, I've gotta go."

He clenched his jaw, looking down at the ground for a second and then back up at me, his mouth twitching as he spoke his next words softly, "I love ya, you know that right?"

I inhaled deeply, my chest tightening, my mind spinning, did he just--yeah he did. I pressed a smile, "Yeah, I love you too." Giving him another longing stare, I finally headed out of the jail and towards the cars where Maggie and Glenn patiently waited for me.

The car ride was pretty quiet and it was better that way, I wanted to dwell on the fact that Daryl had told me he loved me first, sure he said it in a questioning way but he still said it first. It only made me speculate that perhaps he had a gut feeling that something was going to go wrong and he wanted me to know. Trying to shake the negativity out from my brain, I tried to focus on the conversation that sparked up between the two. Asking and wondering how much longer it would be until the baby would start eating regular food and how long they would need to wait before teaching her to how to walk.

But, my mind was else where, I still couldn't get over why he said it. Any normal person would be outrageously giddy if Daryl would have told them that he loved them. I knew Daryl, inside and out, he had changed a lot in many ways than one, but expressing his inner feelings wasn't one of the things that had changed.

"Alex?"

I snapped out of my thoughts, "Hm?"

"We're here," Glenn had a confused smile on his face, probably wondering why I had spaced out.

"Oh, sorry." Climbing out of the red truck, I grabbed the chain cutter that sat on the floor of the vehicle. Walking up to the entrance, I snipped the chain that held the door tightly shut, raising a brow as I signaled for Maggie and Glenn to be prepared for what could be coming out. Opening the door, we all yelped as a few birds poured out of the store.

Glenn chuckled, "Damn, that almost gave me a heart attack."

I nodded in agreement, shaking out the nerves, I tossed the cutters back into the truck. Pulling out the gun from behind my back, I checked the chamber and took off the safety, giving Maggie a smile, "Of course we'd die from being scared to death by birds."

Maggie laughed, shining her flashlight into the store, "How ironic in a world where the dead rises from the grave." We exchanged a few more laughs and started to collect things we saw fit for the baby and other necessities for the prison. It took a little less than ten minutes to retrieve the things we needed, luckily for us, there probably wasn't a lot of newborn babies around.

"We just hit the formula jackpot." Glenn grinned, holding out a basket full of formula to last us a long time.

"Thank God," Maggie breathed.

"I also got beans, batteries, cocktail wieners, many mustards, and a few other things. It's a straight shot back to the prison from here."

I shrugged off the full bag of ammo into the truck, "Grabbed practically all the ammo from behind the counter and smashed a few glass cases that still had a few guns inside. Crazy how it hadn't been raided already."

"Lucky for us, huh?" Maggie asked.

Glenn squinted against the sun and smiled, "Probably make it in time for dinner."

Maggie picked up the basket of things, looking around, she sighed, "I like the quiet, back there, back home, you can always here them outside the fence no matter where you are."

"And where is it ya'll good people are callin' home?"

I gasped when I heard a voice that wasn't one of ours, I quickly moved away from the trunk of the truck, my gun aimed and ready. Rounding the corner, my mouth dropped, my gun still raised, "Merle?!" My heart started to pound against my rib cage, there was no way, this couldn't be. I glanced over at Glenn to confirm that I wasn't hallucinating.

Merle started to laugh, the gun in his hand starting to lower, "Wow," he dropped the gun to the ground, his body inching closer to us.

My own gun started to aim downward, my chest rising and falling rapidly. How was this possible? I had always wondered if Merle was alive but that was because I had felt so guilty of him being left on the roof in the first place. I had tried to keep him alive in my thoughts for my own conscience.

Maggie growled, "Hey! Back the hell up!"

Merle stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes eyeing her gun, "Oh, okay, okay, honey. Jesus."

Glenn gritted his teeth, "You made it."

Merle ignored Glenn, his body inching towards mine, his eyes fixated on mine, "Lexi, is my--is he--is Daryl alive?"

My voice had disappeared, I was still in complete and utter shock that Merle was actually standing in front of me, my arms ached from holding them up for so long, but I couldn't move. I couldn't think and I couldn't speak. My mouth hung halfway open, wanting to answer but afraid of what the consequences would be.

"Ayo, Lexi? Come on, now. Tell me if my baby brother's alive." He squinted at me, "Well, he's gotta be, ain't he? I mean you're still alive."

I could see Glenn from my peripheral glancing at me and then at Merle, "Yeah, he is."

"Hey, you take me to him and I'll call it even on everythin' that happened up there in Atlanta, no hard feelin's. Huh?" Merle smirked when our eyes found a weird looking weapon where his hand used to be, "Oh, yeah, you like that, eh? Well, I found myself a medical supply warehouse, fixed it up myself." He pointed the knife in our direction, to showcase his newly refined 'hand'. "Pretty cool, huh?"

Glenn gritted his teeth, his gun still aimed on Merle, "We'll tell Daryl you're here and he'll come out to meet you."

"Hold on, just hold up." He started to walk forward but got cut short by Glenn, "Hey, the fact that we found each other is a miracle, come on, now. You can trust me."

"You trust us, you stay here."

Merle chuckled, giving all of us a dirty look before settling back on me, "Come on. Tell the china kid that he can trust me. Let me see my brother, all this time I thought you were dead. I've been tryin' to look for ya."

I swallowed hard, my arms falling to my side, my mouth quivering as I looked at Glenn and Maggie who shook their heads, "I--I can't Merle. I'm outnumbered here."

"You're kiddin'," his eyes narrowed, giving me a snarled look, "we--we's like family, Lexi. I practically helped raise the two of you and now you're gonna keep me away from my baby brother?"

I flinched, "Listen to Glenn, Merle. We'll tell Daryl you're here--"

"--that ain't good enough, Lexi." He pulled out a spare gun from his left hip and shot towards Glenn and Maggie before grabbing me and pulling me onto the ground and into a choke hold. I squirmed against him but feeling the barrel of his gun on my temple made me stop moving. If anyone were to pull that trigger and not think twice, it would be Merle.

"Let her go!" Glenn yelled, aiming the gun towards Merle, "I said, let her go!" The look of panic washed over both of their faces as they tried relentlessly to get him to let me go.

"Put the gun in the car, son. Both of ya's. I won't hesitate." He held me tighter, his mouth touching the side of my face, "Go ahead, Lexi. Tell 'em to put the guns away."

I blinked back tears, "Glenn, Maggie," my voice faltered, causing them to surrender, "please, it's okay." I closed my eyes tight and squealed as Merle pressed the barrel tighter against my skin, "Please!"

I heard the sound of something being dropped into the vehicle next to me, opening my eyes, I watched as both of them placed their hands in up in surrender, Glenn glanced at me, his eyes full of sorrow and regret, "I'm sorry, Alex."

"Aw, now come on, the party's just gettin' started. Now, we're gonna go for a ride."

I gasped for air, feeling a little light headed from the pressure he held against my throat, "We're not going to back to our camp, you can forget it, Merle. I'll let you kill me before we ever go there."

He chuckled, "No, we're goin' somewhere else." I whimpered as he yelled loudly, "Get in the car, Glenn! You're driving!