Unleashed

Worse off than before, Dean found himself snapping at his wife for no good reason. He blamed Jared for his miserable, irritable mood.

Jess tried to hug Dean in the master bath the following morning as he readied himself for work, but he brought her arms down and combed his hair. "I'm late as it is."

Jess peered into the mirror at her husband. "It's not my fault you couldn't stay hard last night."

He huffed and turned to her. "Maybe if you'd do something different instead of lying on your back and moaning—never mind." He faced his reflection, then met Jess's eyes in the mirror as she used a finger to fix her eye makeup.

"You're just pissed because you're having issues. Go see a doctor about the problem with your dick, or better yet, find a woman to have sex with because I'm not going to keep putting up with your mood swings. All you do is put me down. How do you think I feel?"

Dean stared into the sink, regret in his voice when he spoke, "I'm on edge. I don't mean to take it out on you."

She took his hand. "I know, baby, but just take a moment to think. We're hurting each other every day. Just go out and get it over with, sleep with someone. I need the old Dean I know and love."

"How is me cheating going to help?"

"It's not cheating. You have my permission to be single." Jess tilted her head. "You don't really want to, do you?"

Dean shrugged. "It's against everything I stand for: our vows, my morals-"

"You're off the hook then. I guess we hold our chins high and face the negative stigma of going to counseling. I just hope no one finds out. I'll literally die!"

"You," Dean shook his head. "You aren't going to literally die. That means you will die and I'm sure you won't."

"Stop picking on me, mister." She smiled at him on her tiptoes and kissed his lips. At first, they were unforgiving. He slowly relaxed into the kiss, coercing himself mentally to do so, and held her to his body. As if he were frantic, he kissed her harder, wanting to feel desire for her. He'd been the one making love to her on auto pilot lately, his mind elsewhere, and blaming her for his less than passionate lovemaking.

"Will you come home early tonight?" Jess asked, gliding her palm up and down his cheek.

"I'll see." Dean took her hand and kissed the back of it near her two-karat yellow diamond.

She yanked her hand out of his grasp, her eyes mere pinpricks and her voice piercing, "You're going to see Jared again, aren't you?"

"No I'm not and that's the truth. I'll try to make it an early night."

A smile crept on her face. "I'm glad. I was beginning to think the guys at the poker game were right."

"Right about what?"

"About you and Jared spending so much time together. I talked to my girlfriends about it and they said it might be unnatural for two guys to do, so I asked Tom."

"As if he's an expert. He and his friends get together and play poker. Why can't I have a friend that I do things with?"

"It's just you and him though."

"So what. You know, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't talk about me behind my back to those women. All they do is criticize everyone. No good can come from them, Jess. The faster you realize that, the better off you'll be."

"They're my friends."

"Then leave me out of your conversations. You know I work hard. It's not such an odd thing for me to want to relax with my best friend." If he still had one. He walked past her shaking his head. Then he stopped and walked back to her. "I love you, but please, don't mention what I'm doing or who I'm hanging out with. It's fodder for gossip and lies."

"Alright, but if they ask I'm not going to lie." Jess primped in the mirror, more concerned about her looks than her husband's concerns. Her eyes met his again, cold and calculating.

He read her loud and clear. "Fine, I'll meet a woman. I don't know when though."

"I've see them undressing you with their eyes when we used to go out together." She grinned at getting her way. "Stay at the hotel, say... another two weeks. I want you to come right back home to me once you've been with her."

"Shit." Dean muttered.

"Honey, wasn't Tom happy at the poker game? Every time I see him he's smiling and in a good mood. He's very sweet. He and Melinda are so cute together, like they've fallen in love all over again. Even Joyce is thinking about giving Edward a pass. I tell you, it works better than counseling. Trust me on this."

'Sex without having feelings for the other woman? Yeah, real healing,' Dean thought. "I'll see you tonight."

Dean arrived at his office a half hour later. After phone conversations and setting up meetings, he went downstairs to talk to the employees in each department. Housekeeping was accused of stealing jewelry, but after searching the room, the husband and wife found the necklace behind the dresser the TV rested on. Dean ran a tight ship and trusted his employees. He hadn't thought of this as a theft from the beginning, but as forgetfulness, misplacement, or that the jewelry had broken and fallen from the woman's neck.

Dean went to both bars. Another liquor order was needed at both Moonlight and Moonbeam. The past two days had been busy. Each bar had been crowded due to a doctor's three-day convention. Dean took the orders and intended to call their alcohol provider upstairs in his office.

He strolled to Riviera after making appearances in the other restaurants. It was nearing 2pm, when Jared's shift started. Dean hadn't spoken to him since the weekend and that was four days ago. Shards of glass felt like they'd penetrated his heart when he saw him.

Jared was talking to Alex about tonight's dinner service. He saw Dean out of the corner of his eyes and peered sightlessly at him, then he marched to the break room to get his chef's jacket.

Alex saw the lack of interaction and gave Dean a stern look.

Dean shrugged, thinking, 'Why is Alex on Jared's side? He doesn't know what happened. Alex doesn't even like him.'

"Did you mess with his head again?" Alex asked, taking Dean aside.

"No. He's got a problem with me being married."

"No one said having an affair was easy," Alex said, then called out, "James, take over for me."

"I'm not having an affair with him. We're friends," Dean aggressively whispered.

"Friends who kiss and who knows what else. Either cut him loose and let him find someone available or get a divorce and be with him."

"We have done nothing except kiss. I wouldn't do anything else with him and I don't want a divorce. My marriage can be salvaged," Dean grouched. "I don't know why you even care or why you've taken his side."

"Because, Dean, that's just it. You are married and he's vulnerable. I feel bad for him. Someone has to be in his corner."

"Leave that to me," Dean replied protectively. "Now get back to work." He brushed past Alex and entered the break room. Jared wasn't there. Had he snuck past when Alex was talking to him? The bathroom door opened. Dean's attention drew to Jared. "Hi." Dean gulped, taking a step closer.

"Stay there." Jared held up his hand. "I want to say something." His gaze fell, having a hard time looking at Dean out of embarrassment.

"Okay," Dean spoke softly and non-confrontational.

"I apologize for last weekend. I shouldn't have kicked you out of my apartment. I should have told you how I was feeling, but I thought you'd feel I was too clingy or melodramatic." He combed through his hair with both hands. "I'll admit I'm jealous. I don't have a right to be, but I am. The time I spend with you is special to me, but I know you go home to your wife each night."

"Yes, I do." Dean acknowledged.

"And I know the attention I want from you, what I need, is unreasonable." Jared looked up into compassionate eyes. "I'm in love with you and that's why I think we have to stop what we're doing." He gave a wounded smile.

Dean hitched his breath, eyes wide and head dizzy. What? What did he just hear? Jared wouldn't say that aloud; yet, it was in Jared's eyes, in the way his mouth quivered, in his stance and in the sound of his patchy breathing.

"So that's how I feel. I have to get to work now." Jared didn't get to walk past Dean. The hotel owner stopped him short of the door.

Dean felt the blood rush through his veins, roaring in his ears, and filling his cock. "Stay and talk to me."

"I'm off tomorrow. We can meet in the bar and talk. I think it's best if we saw each other in public, not in private."

"Friday is perfect for me." Dean smiled. "But let's meet in my hotel room."

Jared did not want to see the room where Dean would have sex with someone. Nor did he want to be alone with him. He shook his head. "Not there, somewhere else."

Dean changed his mind having seen apprehension on Jared's face. "Actually, this can't wait another day. Can we talk tonight?"

"I suppose. I'll see you at Moonbeam after my shift. I'll be waiting at the bar."

"I can't wait," Dean said and pecked Jared on the cheek, patted his butt, and left.

Jared drew his brows tight wondering what that was about as he walked into the kitchen.

"Everything okay?" Alex asked, standing close to Jared so no one could hear them.

"Not sure," Jared said, eyeing the chefs' stations to make sure they were prepped and ready. "I told him how I feel and he wants to talk to me tonight once I'm off."

Alex felt the end of the night wouldn't be in Jared's favor. "I'll hang around too. We can grab a drink in the bar after your talk."

Jared placed his palms on the metal table. "You don't think it's going to end well, do you?"

"No. Men don't leave their wives like they do in movies and romance books, especially for a man. Think of his reputation and all the respect he earns. Guys like him are on the down low. He wants the experience, but he wants it hidden like a dirty secret. Come to grips that he's with his wife forever because that's the persona he wants to—has to—exude."

"He's not happy with her."

"You don't know that. He may say it, but has he left her yet?"

"No," Jared whispered. "You're right. He wouldn't even tell his wife I'm gay because she's homophobic. Same with the guys he hangs out with. He's not going to change." Jared shook his head. "I can't face him. Would it be okay with you if I left a little early tonight?"

"I don't mind, but keep your head on the food tonight and not on him."

"Right. Thanks Alex."

"You're welcome." Alex smiled, gazing at Jared for some time before he went to the pass to collect tickets and call them out.

Dean spent time in his office working, time in his hotel room straightening up, and he put in time at the gym in the hotel. He wore black shorts, a tank, and sneakers as he pumped iron. Next, he went to cool down and walked at a medium pace on the treadmill. Dean wiped his face with a gym towel and draped it over the bars of the treadmill.

"Hi there." A woman in a sports bra and tiny shorts stepped on the machine next to him.

"Hello." Dean greeted, checking out her body. No plastic surgery there. She was in excellent shape with long shapely legs, a toned tummy, and a firm ass that he could bounce a quarter off of.

"I love this gym. I've been here a few times before."

"Really?" Dean smiled, flashing his white teeth.

"Yeah, this hotel is one of the best I've been to in my travels. I'm a food critic." She held her hand out. "Nancy."

"Dean Bennington, it's a pleasure."

"Bennington, as in the hotel chain? This hotel?" Her green eyes grew wide in appreciation.

"The very one." He upped the speed on the treadmill to show off.

"I'm gobsmacked," Nancy claimed. "I thought you'd be older."

"I have two older brothers and one younger. I'm not so young or so old." Dean joked with a smile he reserved for the sole purpose of flirting.

"You look just about right to me."

"Mm, for what?" Dean set the bar higher and began running, his heart racing for many reasons.

Nancy slowed her walking, almost coming to a stop. "For lots of things."

Dean had a thought. "Are you here to check out my restaurants or are you here for fun?"

"Yes, to both."

"Ah. I see." Dean understood now. Bennington Hotels were rated five stars, if Nancy ate here and didn't like the food, she'd tear him apart in her reviews online and in magazines. If Dean slept with her, he'd be guaranteed a good review.

"You have the wrong idea. I'm not like that. I enjoy food too much to sleep with someone just to write their food was delicious. I'd be compromising my integrity." Nancy smiled in spite of Dean's misinterpretation.

"I apologize if I've offended you." Dean slowed the pace, walking with Nancy.

She gazed at his attractive face and muscular physique. "I'm flattered. A guy like you showing interest in me."

"Don't sell yourself short. Not many women can dress like that and look as good." He winked, wondering what she'd taste like: her mouth and her body and more importantly, between her petal soft thighs, his tongued flicking and teasing her, his cock entering her wetness and heat ... 'No,' Dean thought with a sigh, 'I'd want to fuck her tight, little ass. Stretching her out while fucking her pussy with my fingers.' Dean felt himself growing hard at the thought of ass fucking.

"You're handsome. Not many men who are married flirt with me. I think I scare them off with my no nonsense attitude."

Dammit! Dean glanced down at his wedding ring. He'd forgotten to take it off and now Nancy knew he was married. Maybe that wouldn't matter. On second thought, he wasn't really interested. He'd tried for Jess's sake, but he couldn't sleep with another woman. He just didn't want to. "Some men like women who are strong willed. I don't think it's a strike against them. If a man is intimidated by you, then it's his loss." He turned off his machine and wiped his head, then flung the towel over his shoulder. "I'm out of here. Have a great workout and dinner."

"You bet I will. Thanks, Dean." She waved goodbye, watching his ass bounce as he entered the men's locker room.

Fresh from the shower, Dean called Riviera and asked to speak to their head chef, Jared Slade.

"I don't know where he is right now," Christine, one of the chef's replied, rolling her eyes.

Firmly, he ordered, "This is Mr. Bennington. Get Alex on the phone this minute."

"Sorry, Mr. Bennington. Right away, sir." She set the phone down and went to get to the executive chef.

"Dean?" Alex held the phone to his ear. "What do you need?"

"I'd like a moment to speak to Jared, please. I know he has a half hour left, but this can't wait."

"Uh, he left."

"Oh. He's at the bar, then?

"No, he didn't feel well, so I let him leave early," Alex lied with an expression of regret.

"Is he okay? Should I stop in and see if he's alright?" Dean's voice had risen with concern. Jared was too ill to meet him in the bar. He must have come down with a bad illness.

"No, I wouldn't," Alex responded rapidly. "He said he was going to take some cold medicine and crawl into bed to sleep it off."

"Did he mention me? We were supposed to get together tonight."

"No," Alex lied again. "He left in a hurry."

"Oh." Dean sighed, sadness lining his face. He hadn't realized Alex had hung up until he cleared his head. If he went to Jared's apartment he'd be asleep, so what was the point? He'd check on him tomorrow. Dean neatened his desk and left for home to his waiting wife.

"Hi, honey," Dean addressed her with his heart heavy, missing Jared. They hadn't hung out together or talked in length for nearly a week.

"Bad day?" she asked, cupping her breasts and pushing them up while looking down at them. "Do you think I should get them bigger? Sophie says I should."

"Is Sophie going to pay for it?" Dean walked to the kitchen. He took a half full bottle of wine from the fridge, uncorked it, and drank straight from it.

"Use a glass!" Jess took a wine glass from the clean dishes in the dishwasher and handed it to him.

"I'm planning on finishing the bottle. Don't worry, you won't have to worry about catching my germs." He lifted the bottle and slugged more down. He burped quietly and eyed Jess's breasts. "No. You don't need bigger boobs. Sophie is wrong." 'Whoever the hell she is.'

"You like me this size?" She hefted them again, this time against his chest.

"Yeah," he spoke with disinterest. "What's there to eat?"

Jess's fingers skimmed up and down his chest. Smiling, she sassed, "You didn't come home early like you'd promised, so I threw it out. You're on your own."

If Dean was supposed to feel he was being punished, he didn't. "I'll eat a yogurt and some fruit."

"No, I'll make you a grilled cheese. Have a seat at the table, baby." Jess pushed him out of the kitchen. "Why did you have a bad day?" she called to him and gathered things to make his dinner.

"An employee is ill."

"How dare he or she get sick!" Jess teased. "There's that twenty-four hour stomach flu going around. You can't blame people for getting ill, babe."

"I know." Dean finished the wine. The effects hit him like a brick wall after Jess put his dinner in front of him. "I don't want it." He pushed the food away, opting to stand on wobbly legs.

"What do you want then?" Jess asked, backing away from his feral smile and groping hands.

"Upstairs. Bed. naked." He rattled off, counting on his fingers. "My cock. Your ass. Fucking you."

"Ah, no." Jess stated and saw her words went unnoticed when he stalked to her. "I said no, Dean."

"Why?" he whined, pouting like a one year old whose toy was taken away.

"I told you before. Now drop it." She swatted his hand away from her shoulder. "Go shower and get in bed."

"Are we gonna do it?" Dean snickered unkindly and then he became hostile, his words insensitive, "Forget it. I'm gonna get someone else, right? That's what you want, isn't it? You want me to fuck another woman. Do you want to watch too? Hey, that would be hot. You watching my cock slipping and sliding into another pussy. I'd get her really wet, Jess. I'd eat her out like I've never eaten anyone out before. She'd cum on my face. Isn't that what you want to hear?"

"Fuck no!" Jess yelled and slapped his face. He'd intentionally been cruel and—dare she think—a little too excited? Saying what he was going to do to another woman in the tone he had, that dirty, nasty voice... . Jess sighed, her eyes watering.

"Sure it is." Dean wore a smug face despite having been slapped hard. "You should go out with someone too. Bet you'd like a big, hard cock in your pussy. Tom, Edward, or maybe our gardener, Alan." He laughed snidely. "Let him fill you with cum. I know you love dick, Jess."

Jess glared at him, biting her tongue because Dean was drunk, but he still didn't have the right to talk to her like that.

Dean gasped and put his hand over his mouth. His widened eyes changed to ones filled with light and merriment. He wavered on the precipice of laughter as defined by the creases lining his eyes. Dropping his hand, he pointed at her. "I figured it out! If I went out and cheated, excuse me, acted as if I wasn't married, then you could too." He laughed loudly. "Jess wants to get boned."

"Stop being disgusting. I feel like I don't even know you." She crossed her arms.

"Let's get to know each other then. I'll do you right now, honey. Your pussy or your ass?

Jess screamed in frustration, then angrily spoke, "I'm going to bed. Hopefully I won't see you until Monday and by then, I really hope you've sobered up and this drunken state of yours won't be a permanent thing."

"Nighty night, Jess. Sweet dreams." He waved bye-bye and went to the living room to crash on the couch. He woke in the morning to find a note on the coffee table.

Dean,
I love you, but you've got to get your head together. I don't know what's going on in your life, but it's affecting our marriage. I've called a psychiatrist and made an appointment for you. He comes highly recommended. I just don't know what else to do. I've given you every chance I can think of. You see him next Wednesday at 8am, that way you can go to work right afterwards because I know you'd want that. I expect you to show up to see him unless your behavior changes before Wednesday. His name is Joe Warren and I'll give you the address when I see you.
I'm out with the girls early today—breakfast and searching for a new fitness center. We're also going to Jill's later. She's having a Botox party, then maybe we'll have our legs waxed at that place downtown.
I love you so much, baby. I just want my Deanie back. I'll see you soon. Have a good weekend and don't work too much.

Little remorse coursed through Dean's veins. Jess had jumped to conclusions. He didn't need a shrink, he needed something to fill the void in his heart and he had a good idea what that was and how to get it. He'd known the answer all along, but chose to ignore the signs, putting it in the back of his mind until he couldn't close his eyes to it anymore.

Dean showered and made the decision to do what was right for him. Not for Jess or their rich friends. Certainly not for someone he'd never met—a shrink. The doctor wouldn't listen to him either, he was aware of what the doctor would say. Dean would do this for himself and no one else. Who else knew him better than he did?

Dean chose his outfit carefully. A designer blue shirt and jeans looked comfortable on him. He ruffled his hair, wearing it loose instead of combed back. He looked five years younger. After a spritz of cologne, and putting his wedding ring in his underwear drawer, he left. He phoned the hotel, spoke to the executive chef on duty for the morning, and told her to take Jared Slade off the schedule for Saturday and Sunday because he was ill. Jared may need time to recuperate. Once he settled that, he asked to be transferred to registration to get a room for this weekend as he'd done previously. Jess insisted on it and secretly he hadn't minded the peace and quiet away from home.

Next on his list was to drive to Jared's apartment to see how he was. He prayed silently that he was over being ill because Dean still had a lot to say to him. Things he should have come to realize weeks ago. He'd sensed it was too late and if it was, he'd try that much harder to make Jared listen to him.

It appeared Jared wouldn't listen. Dean knocked on his apartment door and held his ear to it. There were no trace sounds of anyone being home. Dean walked outside and looked about. There was Jared's car. He had to be home. Dean canted his head in wonder and went back inside. He knocked and called out Jared's name and continued doing so until he heard a lock click.

"You're going to wake the neighbors if you hadn't already." Jared gazed at Dean with one eye peeking through the gap between the door and the jamb. He licked his lips at the sight of Dean's appearance.

"Then it's good you answered the door, isn't it?" Dean replied with a smile.

"What do you want? Why are you here?" He'd declared his love for Dean, but Dean wasn't gay. Jared already berated himself for telling him for the second time in his life. What Alex told him about Dean never leaving his wife just put the final nail in the coffin.

"I came to check on you." Dean touched the door and pushed lightly. Jared kept his foot in place against it so it wouldn't move. "Can I come inside?" He quirked a brow and leaned closer to the partial view of Jared's face.

"I don't feel well. Just go." Jared lowered his gaze, past Dean's bulge, to his sneakers, surprised he wasn't wearing the usual attire, a suit. "You're not working today?"

"No."

"Wow, a day off." His sarcasm wasn't lost on Dean, yet he continued, "Jess must be thrilled you and she can spend a day together."

"This has nothing to do with her," Dean said calmly, unhurried, with a half-smile. "Can I come in and talk to you?"

"No." Jared dropped the topic. Then he realized what Dean said about this not having to do with his wife. "Ohh, you found a woman to be with this weekend. Good for you, pal." He slammed the door closed and locked it, feeling like an emotional idiot for his jealous conduct.

"Jared, goddammit! Open the fucking door." Dean yelled and used his fists to hit it.

"Go away." Jared fell against the door and slid down until his butt hit the ground. "Leave me alone."

Dean lowered his voice, his tone commanding Jared to do as he say, "Open up now."

Jared stood up with a shuddering breath. "Fine, but you cannot come inside. Promise me."

"You're such a ... grrr." Dean rolled his eyes to the ceiling, frustration coming out his mouth in rapid puffs of air.

Jared waited a moment, expecting degrading name-calling; like idiot or asshole. When no words came from behind the door, he asked, voice thick and gravelly, "I'm what, Dean?"

"You're cute ... and aggravating the hell out of me. I'm getting extremely frustrated, but you're still really fucking cute. Please open the door. I promise I won't come in." Dean lied, crossing his fingers behind his back. He'd done the same thing when he was a kid and lied to his mom about finishing his chores and completing his homework. Somehow, crossed fingers forgave the lies.

It took Jared a moment to find his voice. Was this another trick? "Okay. I'm opening it."

Satisfied, Dean stood proud and ready to pounce. He turned the handle on the door as soon as Jared unlocked it, and pushed it open. Dean took a few running steps inside to follow Jared, who'd taken to darting in the opposite direction, and tackled him to the floor.

A breathy eruption of words left Jared's mouth as he fought, "Get off me! You lied to me! Get out, get OUT!"

"You can't overpower me. Just listen to me."

"Get off." Jared wiggled, not intending to feel Dean's cock on his ass, but he had.

"I'm gonna let you up and then we're going for a ride."

"Says who?"

"Me. Now will you cooperate?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Yes. I'm not going to kidnap you. I'm asking nicely if you'll come with me."

Jared silenced erotic thoughts at having Dean's body lying on top his. He stopped squirming and held still. "Let me up first."

"Heh, heh, so you can run away? I think not."

"So I can get my shoes on, asshole." He elbowed Dean in the ribs.

"Ow. I didn't deserve that." He knelt back and rubbed his side, watching Jared closely. If he saw one twitch of muscle telling him Jared was going to run, Dean would be back on top of him and this time, he wouldn't let go.

Jared tied one shoe and looked up from his crouched position near the front door. "Can't you tell me here?"

"I suppose I can. I guess I should to ease your mind."

Jared crossed the shoelaces on his other shoe. "Ease my mind of what?" He tightened the looped strings and stood up.

Dean stepped close and Jared beckoned him to speak with a nod.

"I-I want you to be the woman." Dean stuttered.

"What? Fuck off, this isn't funny, Dean. I'm not a woman nor will I ever be. I like my dick and I have no use for tits." Jared pushed him backward with one hand.

Dean staggered back and laughed.

"Great, you're laughing at me again. I'm a joke to you, aren't I?"

"No," Dean continued to laugh at what Jared said. "I don't want you to change, you silly man."

"Then what did you mean?" He saw Dean wipe a tear from his cheek that had formed from laughing so hard. Jared ran his hands through his hair, feeling uncomfortable and exposed.