Unleashed

Jared kicked the retaining wall surrounding the fountain at the hotel. The sky remained clear, though it had rained a few hours ago leaving the air smelling fresh like cut grass and clean earth. He checked his cell phone. He'd been waiting for Dean five minutes already and had five more to go until 6pm.

His hand kept busy in his hair, surely messing it up. He hadn't bothered dressing up. Having dinner with Dean didn't necessitate looking his best and showing he didn't care about his appearance would give that impression.

"Jared."

His head shot up at the voice and soft tone in which Dean spoke his name. It made this reunion, of sorts, all that more weird and discomforting. "Hey," Jared acknowledged with a head nod, but withheld a warm smile.

"I'll drive," Dean stated, no room for argument, and pointed in the direction of his permanent parking spot at the side of the hotel.

Jared followed Dean's footsteps and kept his gaze on the horizon instead on the body ahead of him. It was of no use to look and find himself in the same situation years ago when he came out to his once best friend.

Dean spoke as he pushed the start ignition button in his car, "I hope you still like the same kind of food you did back in high school. I told Jess, that's my wife, to get Asian take out. Remember that Chinese buffet we use to eat at?" He laughed, pulling out onto the main road.

Dean had pretended to sneeze on the glass guard when in reality he'd taken a spoonful of tapioca pudding and splattered it on the glass. It looked like snot. They'd each already eaten an overfilled plate of food. Dean and Jared were pointing at the tapioca smear and laughing aloud which alerted the staff. The chefs fumed over having to replace the whole selection of "contaminated" food with fresh food. Dean and Jared were immediately shown the door to get them out before customers complained. After they walked into the parking lot, they realized they'd been kicked out without having paid the bill and high fived each other.

"I remember," Jared spoke in a humorless tone. There'd been an abundance of times the two misbehaved, achieving their fill of mischief. Dean being a jock and popular often took the blame for their hijinks. He never received a punishment from his parents or the school, which let them both off the hook to pull off another hilarious prank.

"The things we did. We should have been fined or grounded, rightfully so." Dean let out a short chuckle.

Jared stared out the window, seeing they were headed for the expensive homes. He expected nothing less. Dean had always been a spoiled brat.

Dean glanced at Jared and assumed to know the reason he looked upset. "Look, I'm sorry I gave you the day off. It would have been worse if I let Alex reprimand you. He wanted to fire you."

Jared turned to Dean, speaking in a high tone, "For wanting to be independent? For being myself?"

"We have rules, but I do want you to express yourself in your cooking. I value that in an employee."

"Alex doesn't."

"I'll take care of him, don't you worry." Dean promised. "Here we are." He slowed the car and parked in a brick paved, circular driveway.

"Nice," Jared remarked as he gazed jealously at the large home. He second-guessed his clothing; feeling very underdressed to eat a meal, even take out, inside such a gorgeous home.

"Thank you. It's too big for just the two of us, but you know how wives can be. Er, maybe you don't," he corrected as fast as he could get the words out, then quickly got out of his car.

Jared narrowed his eyes. With a shake of his head, he stood up and slammed the car door closed and concentrated on the steps he took to the front door. His fingers itched to card through his hair, but he kept them in his pocket. "You don't have children?"

"No. Jess doesn't want them to ruin her figure and frankly, I'm too busy with work." Dean out called once they were inside. "Jess, we're here."

Jared couldn't help the gasp that left his mouth. The inside of the home shouldn't have shocked him, but it did. Magnificence described it, yet it felt cold and empty.

"Hi, baby!" Jess came running with little steps and her heels clicking. Echoes of the sound came from the vaulted ceiling in the foyer. Jared watched her throw her arms around Dean and kiss his lips. She then wiped the lipstick from his mouth and set her eyes on Jared.

"Deanie didn't tell me his friend was so good looking." She gave him a hug too. Jared became rigid and unmoving. Jess backed away and apologized, "I'm a very touchy-feely, hugging type. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."

"It's okay," Jared mumbled and dropped his arms to his side. Dean's hand fell on Jared's shoulder and squeezed.

"Let's eat." Dean's stomach gurgled.

Jared openly watched Jess and Dean eat while he picked at his food. If either of them noticed, they didn't say so. He looked from Dean to his wife and wondered how Dean ended up with her. She obviously had a lot of work done. She looked plastic, like the perfect Barbie doll, only not perfect. Her proportions were off. Her lips had too much collagen injected in them and her breasts were unnaturally large compared to her thin waist. But who was he to say anything if Dean was happy with her.

"Where do you work, Jared?" Jess asked, wineglass in hand.

"The restaurant, Riviera, at Bennington's Hotel. I'm one of the head chefs." Jared replied and shoved his Pad Thai in his mouth.

"You should have cooked for us tonight." Jess exclaimed with excitement.

"He's not our chef. He's not even my chef. He works for Alex and cooks for the guests who stay at the hotel and other people who come in for nice meal." Dean sighed, understanding Jared may take her the wrong way. The head chef wasn't a personal chef to cater to them. The women Jess called friends and kowtowed to, changed her into a spoiled, manipulative diva who felt she was entitled to what she desired.

"I wouldn't have minded," Jared spoke up if only to disagree with Dean. He needed no one to speak for him or stick up for him.

"Maybe next time you'll cook for us?" Jess finished her wine, looking at Jared expectantly.

"Sure. Name the day." Jared exhaled, feeling Dean's stare on him. He hoped Dean got a good look. Jared wasn't the same scared senior who'd cowered and hid after coming out.

Jared and Jess continued talking about recipes and the hotel, then the topic of girlfriends came up. Jared said he didn't have one and he didn't correct Jess to mention he was gay. Dean hadn't brought it up either so why should Jared tell her—he didn't owe her an explanation.

"Honey, we're going out," Dean announced and pecked Jess on the cheek once he stood up.

"What? Where?" Jess lost her breath. Was this it? Were the men going out to pick up women? Had Dean found someone he wanted to sleep with?

"To the bar. Let's go." He waved his hand at Jared to get him up and moving.

Jess quickly got to her feet. "When are you coming home?"

"I don't know. Jared and I have a lot of catching up to do."

As Dean continued to speak, Jared felt uneasy. It was a bad idea to go out. He had nothing to share with Dean, and even if he did, he wouldn't. He didn't know Dean anymore; this rich man who'd married a flawed Barbie doll. Sighing, he walked to the front door and waited outside while the two argued.

'What the hell?' He thought. 'Why am I here? I have nothing in common with him. I'm setting myself up to get hurt again.' He laughed wryly.

"Something funny?"

Jared jumped, having not heard the front door open and close, and stammered, "No, nothing."

"Come on, share. I need a laugh right now." Dean walked to his car, keys clattering as he spun them around his finger.

"I was thinking that it's ironic. I don't know you. You've changed, Deanie."

Dean side-eyed him when he heard the nickname. "I hate that name." He chuckled. "You've changed as well. You're quiet—like you're deliberating. You used to talk so much. You made me laugh with the things we did and the jokes we told each other."

"Maybe I grew up."

"No, this is something else altogether." Dean and Jared entered the car and they were off. "It seems like you're bitter about something. Something to do with me and for the life of me, I don't have a clue what that is."

Jared didn't want to have this conversation, not now. "We grew apart, that's all. No worries, man," he lied through his teeth and changed the topic, "Where are we going?"

"Back to the hotel."

"Oh." Jared pouted. Dean was going to drop him off at his car. On one hand, he felt relieved and on the other, he felt like he'd just been dumped.

"I figure your car is there and we can toss back a few drinks in Moonlight. Have you been there yet?" Moonlight was one of two 'bar and grills' in the hotel, the other was called Moonbeam.

"I have not." Jared unbuckled his seatbelt and together they walked into the lobby of the hotel, turned left and walked past the ballroom to Moonlight. The mysterious atmosphere attracted Jared. He glanced around at the candlelit tables full of people eating or drinking, some doing both. Dean sauntered to the bar and walked behind it.

"What'll you have?" He asked Jared.

"Oh, just a beer."

Dean nodded and poured them each a frosty mug of beer, then he came out from behind the bar and stood next to Jared. He looked around and said, "Busy tonight. Good for business."

Jared nodded and filled his mouth with beer as he fought for words to say, coming up blank. His gaze drifted back to Dean while he swallowed.

"Do you have a boyfriend? If you don't mind me asking." Dean followed suit and drank half the glass of beer.

"Not at the moment." Jared's eyes flitted to the bartender. Not that he was interested; he just couldn't meet Dean's eyes. He waited for the hurtful teasing to begin.

"Too bad."

"Why?" Jared snapped and whipped his head to the side, facing Dean.

"You must be lonely."

"And that's why you're going to try to convince me to go out with Alex, right?" He scoffed. "I don't need help in the dating department, or any other department, okay?"

"I've offended you." Dean pursed his lips to the side, then got the bartenders attention. He asked for two refills, which were promptly placed in front of Jared and him.

Jared lifted the mug and drank a good amount. The need to finish the beer and escape was too great. He forced himself to guzzle it down, ready to excuse himself to go home.

Dean chuckled and grabbed Jared's mug and walked around the bar again. "I think we've had enough beer. Let's get started on something stronger."

"No, I have to go."

"Nonsense." Dean poured bourbon over ice in two tumblers and gave one to Jared. "We haven't seen each other in years. We have a lot to talk about."

"Like what?" Jared sipped the strong, charred, oak flavored alcohol.

"Oh," Dean sipped his too as he thought. "You've traveled, where have you been?"

Jared told him all the places he'd seen; from being in culinary school, running restaurants in New York, San Francisco, and New Orleans. He'd traveled overseas as well to learn certain techniques and to taste different cuisine. When he'd finished speaking, Dean held an awed expression.

"I'm jealous. I'd love to experience all that. As it is, I haven't had a day off in a while, much less a vacation."

"You should before you burn out." Jared became looser from the intake of alcohol.

"I know you're right. I just can't work myself up to leaving my job in someone else's hands. By the way, where were you on graduation? Were you sick?"

"Huh?" Jared asked, distracted by two men holding hands.

"High school graduation. You and I were supposed to party that night."

Jared felt his stomach tighten up, ready to spew a lengthy rant. His gaze fell to Dean."You never wondered until now where I'd gone or why I didn't take your calls?"

"I wondered, but I figured you'd call when you weren't busy."

"But…" Jared shook his head. Best friends didn't treat each other the way Dean had treated him back then, and yet, Dean had expected Jared to laugh it off and show up at graduation unscathed with his heart fully repaired? After choosing the right words, he gave them a voice, "You caused me so much heartache and made me feel ashamed of who I am, how could I show my face? How could I talk to you on the phone without crying or pleading or … or sounding desperate? I never wanted to see you again for as long as I lived, yet, when I applied for a job at your hotel, I knew I'd run into you sooner or later. I wanted to show you that I made it. That you didn't break me." Jared gulped the knot in his throat.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Dean said musically, not grasping that Jared was completely serious.

Jared's mouth turned down in frustration. "It doesn't matter. It has everything to do with me and nothing to do with you," he uttered sarcastically.

Dean finally understood the weightiness of this conversation by Jared's spitfire attitude. A stubborn trait is almost always due to pride. "Jared, it must have something to do with me." He put his hand on Jared's forearm. "Please, just tell me. I promise I'll listen."

Jared pondered for a while, leaving Dean apprehensive in the dark about what he'd done in the past to hurt Jared so severely. "Do you remember the week of graduation?"

Dean bobbed his head. "Yes, but is there a particular day you want me to remember?"

With a sigh, Jared said a less than enthusiastic, "Yes." How could he expect Dean to remember something that meant the world to Jared—the day he came clean.

"The Thursday before we graduated. After school we'd gone to your house to goof off."

Dean looked thoughtful. "Okay, if you say so. We always did that. What was so special about that day?"

Again, Jared debated over telling him. Dean would laugh all over again and tell him to get over it. Why had he brought this up again? In his foggy, alcohol state, he couldn't recall. "I told you I was gay. Remember?"

"It was that day?"

"Yes!" Jared hissed. That day would forever be embedded in his mind. "I told you I'd fallen in love with you, then I tried to kiss you and you pushed me. You laughed at me."

Dean slowly nodded, the image clear now as if it happened yesterday. "I didn't like you like that, man."

Jared rested his head in his hand. "I'll never forget that laugh. I stayed in my room for a week after that just reliving that whole scene in my head."

"I only laughed because I was shocked and uncomfortable thinking about all the times you saw me naked in gym class. I didn't know what to say. I didn't laugh at you. It was a nervous laugh. Jesus Christ Jared, I didn't mean anything by it. If I had known you'd reacted by withdrawing I would have done something. Your parents told me you left for camp and by the fall, I'd left for college. I had no idea. Honest." Dean held up his hand, swearing to God.

Jared had trouble looking at Dean. He couldn't determine if the man spoke the truth or if he was trying to bullshit his way through an apology.

"Hey," Dean said to get Jared to look at him. "You were my best friend. I should have tried harder to get in touch with you. I guess I acted like a tool. You tell me you're gay and how you feel and then you never hear from me again. Guess you think I'm homophobic?"

"Yes, I thought you hated me because I'm gay." Jared admitted, his eyes filling with tears. He excused himself to go to the restroom. When he arrived back, his head was in a better place.

"Where does this leave us now?" Dean thought it a reasonable question. "I'd like to be friends with you. I really missed us."

'Damn!' Jared yelled in his head. He couldn't ignore Dean's compassionate and friendly tone. The man had always been kind. "Friends it is." Jared held out his hand for Dean to shake on it, but Dean pulled him into a hug.

"I'm not coming on to you." Dean felt the need to explain.

"I wouldn't expect you to, asshole." Jared snorted, making them both laugh at the sound he'd made.