Northern Wind

“I brought you home some coffee. I would get you something different, but I don’t know-“, Derick paused as I sat up from the sheets, locking my eyes on him instantly. For a moment, as he stared at me, my hair in a messy heap on the top of my head, and my makeup worn off into the sheets beneath me, his cheeks started to burn a bright red, but as soon as I yawned, he looked down and smiled softly.

Inhaling slowly as I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand, I shook my head a little and then reached over and grabbed the white Starbucks cup from his and set it down on the night table.

“Thanks, Derick.” I breathed as I pulled the sheets from my body and moved over to him. Pulling my legs into a pretzel formation, I watched closely as he turned and copied my seating position. Dropping my eyes down to my legs, I reached over to the boy sitting across from me and grabbed one of his larger hands with my small ones. “I really don’t know what else to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything, Christa.” The brunette whispered, his eyes burning into me as I kept my vision on my legs. “How long have I known you? How long have you been there for me? It’s the least I can do.” Derick finished as he reached across the small space between us and placed his hand on my knee. “I’ve told you this so many times.” He informed me with a small smile as he looked up at me, managing to snag the attention of my eyes away from my legs.

Once I started losing myself in Derick’s large puppy dog eyes, I shook my head and leaned into the brunette, my face pressing against the corner of his shoulder. Within seconds of the contact, Derick wrapped his arms around me tightly and pulled me as close to him as possible.

“Skinny Caramel Macchiato?”

“Of course.” Derick chuckled into my hair as he pressed his lips to the top of my head.

“You’re the best, Brassy.” I huffed and had the urge to reach over and grab my coffee, but as the boys smell and warmth swirled together and hit me, my body became paralyzed. All I wanted to do was stay in this embrace until I fell back asleep.

There was no one else in the world that managed to give me that warm, relaxed, carefree feeling like Derick and Jake did. It always bothered me that they never got along, because they were both such huge parts of my life, and in all honesty they were so similar. Despite the fact that Derick and Jake never got a long for some reason unknown to me, they accepted that I had the other in my life, and never started any conflicts over it.

That just made me love the both of them more.

Sighing heavily, I pulled away from Derick and looked up at him, the urge to burst into tears falling over me. “I think I might spend the day in bed.”

“It’s a little chilly outside, but a nice day to walk around. John and I were going to show you around, but if-“

“Morning babes.” John swung the door open, a coffee in his hand as he took a few steps into the room and stopped halfway to the bed, a smile forming on his lips as his eyes connected to mine. “Morning, sleepyhead.”

Chuckling, I rubbed the side of my face, and looked over at Derick who was still sitting patiently on my left side. “Morning Johnny, how’s the coffee?”

“Perfect”, he commented quickly and then eyed Derick as he walked over to my bed and plopped down on the other side of me. Grabbing my cup from the nightstand, he held it up to my face, the small streams of hot air hitting my nose, making a smile light up on my face as the smell of caramel started to replace the fading scent of Derick’s cologne.

Nodding a little, I put the opening to my lips and took a small sip, letting the still burning hot liquid run over my tongue and trickle down my throat, warming my whole entire body.

“That’s perfect. That barista knows how to make some good morning coffee.” I gushed as I took another sip and then winced from the hot liquid and swallowed it. “Thanks again for this, it’s great.”

“No problem.” Derick said in almost a whisper as he stood up and offered me a hand. “I could try to cook up an omelet if you-“

Smiling a little, I stood up, watching John quickly stand up out of the corner of my eye. Looking up at Derick, I placed my hand on his chest and felt every muscle in his body tighten. “How about I make some for you two? It’s the least I could do-“

Derick began to shake his head, but right as he was about to decline, John swooped in and placed a large hand over the man’s mouth. “That would be great, need help?”

“Sit back and relax, breakfast foods are my specialty.” I sent the two boys a weak smile and then carefully stepped around them and headed down the hallway to the kitchen, where the carton of eggs were already out on the counter, along with a container of milk and the normal spices.



A half hour after I was greeted with my favorite coffee, I had managed to make three spinach and broccoli egg white omelets. At first the boys were apprehensive about the color of their eggs, but as soon as they dug in, the only thing they could talk about was how good it tasted, and how I would have to make these for them all of the time.

Once we had finished the dish, Derick grabbed all of the dishes and began to wash them in the sink, leaving John and I at the small table, new cups of coffee in our hands as we scrolled through messages on our cell phones.

“That was great, Christa.” John commented without lifting his eyes up from his phone.

“Thanks, Champ.” I sent him a small smile as he shook his head and quickly glanced up at me, his bright blue eyes connecting with mine for a second before attaching back to his cell phone screen.

After a few more minutes of silence, he clicked the top button on his cell phone and set it down, placing his full attention on me. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay?” I said confused if he had heard that I was feeling under the weather.

“No, I mean-“

My lips parted as I realized what he was asking. Words lined up in my head, all fake reassurances that I was doing better with every passing second, but as I thought back to it, back to the reason why I was here, back to the reason why I ran away from my family and everything I was comfortable with, a frown surfaced on my lips.

All through the morning, coffee and cooking, I hadn’t felt my body ache like this. I didn’t allow my mind to wander back to my dead fiancé or my family in Canada. For some reason the actions of cooking breakfast managed to block out the gut wrenching thoughts, and a part of me wished I could just keep cooking and keep my mind blank for a little while longer, because I wasn’t ready to evaluate myself yet.

I was doing shitty, pretty fucking shitty, but I couldn’t tell him that.

The last thing these boys needed were to worry about me while they were playing games or on the road.

“Better”, was the only word that fell from my lips as I pulled my eyes from my folded hands on the table and locked them onto the huge blue orbs studying me from across the wood. Inhaling sharply as we locked in a stare, John nodded a little and carefully reached across the wooden circle and broke apart my hands, placing his large one in between mine.

“Don’t forget we’re always here for you, alright?” Eyes shimmering as the sunlight poured through the window and fell on them, I nodded and quickly looked down, a hard blush crawling up from my chest and taking a strangle hold on my face. “I know I’m not as close with you as Derick, but I really care about you, Christa.” His voice ended in a whisper as our eyes locked in a tense stare. A feeling I had not felt in a while started to wash over me as every inch of my skin started to burn, especially the tender skin in the palm of my hand that was making contact with John’s rough knuckles.

“Thank you”, I breathed as I continued to study his eyes, my heart racing painfully in my chest as my brain started to pulse, trying to bring some sense back into my mind. Just as I was about to give into the feeling of wanting someone to hold me and touch me again, a voice broke through my head and caused every single tingle in my body to die.

As soon as he spoke, my hands slipped under the table, leaving John’s hand in the center, lying flat against the surface. Stare breaking, my eyes jerked down to my knees as a large hand rested on the center of my back. “Thank you again for breakfast, Christa.” His accented words made me quickly forget about the bright blue eyes I had been staring into for the past few minutes. “Would you like to get the tour today, or-“

“A tour sounds good.” I forced through my teeth. Although all I wanted to do was go back to bed, curl up in my sheets, and fall asleep reading a book, I couldn’t tell them that. The whole point of me coming to New York was to relax and regain the huge part of me that I had lost. A bed and a comfy blanket wasn’t going to help me do that.

My answer had made both of the men in the kitchen smile wide. Their bright white teeth glistened under the overhead lights, and their eyes reflected the shimmering marble and stainless steel accents of the room. I would give almost anything to see how Jake’s eyes reflected the same light. They were always a wonder to me. No matter what lighting we were in, what the situation was, they always seemed to have a certain shimmer to them when they were caught up in a stare with me own.

Blood running cold in my body, the sudden urge to sink down inmy chair and cry ran over me, but the second the small smile lifted from my face, Derick’s hand ran from my lower back, up to my left shoulder, and then the whole right side of my body was tightly pressed into his chest and stomach.

“It’ll be fun”, his French accented words heated a small spot on my head. “I’ll get you all of the coffee you want.”

“Using my weakness against me”, I forced a chuckle and felt Derick’s grip on my shoulder loosen. “I’ll only consider it fun if we get some ultra-trendy donuts or pastries.”

“Consider it a deal!” John said quickly, his chair screeching against the floor as he abruptly stood up and wrapped his arm around me and pressed himself against my left side, sandwiching me in between the two. Although they were both attractive, strong, men, I couldn’t have named a more uncomfortable situation in my life.

After the two chattered above me about where to go and what time to go, and who to drive, or what subway to take, they both laughed and then nodded their heads and simultaneously looked down at me, their bright eyes burning holes into my scalp.

“Go get ready, we’re going to map this out. Ya’ got two hours, sweetness.” John smiled down at me, kissed the top of my head, and then nudged me off of the chair and placed his hands on my shoulders, directing my body out of the kitchen and down the hall as Derick called to me from the kitchen to dress semi-casual and be ready for fun because Mats and Carl were going to tag along.

As soon as I heard the addition of two more guys, I felt my stomach flop uneasily in my stomach and my muscles tighten. Letting a small groan rumble in my throat, I listened as John laughed and then stopped us at my bedroom door, twirling me around so I was facing him.

Kissing my forehead, he nodded and then sucked in a small breath. “They’re great guys, you’ll love them. They aren’t the get in your pants type. They’re more of the woo and charm you and then slip into your pants after a certain period of time.”

“Oh, much better”, I rolled my eyes and then looked back up at the boy and smiled at him.

“Hey Brassy and I are the same way. They’re like a version of us. Except instead of being French-Canadian and American, they’re Norwegian and Swedish.” He shrugged.

“Upgrade.” I joked and leaned my body against the edge of the doorframe and watched as John lowered his eyes and smirked at me. “I’m kidding, Johnny, kind of. The Swedish accent definitely beats out the American drawl though. And the subtle charm and get in your pants thing definitely beats out the all-American dive right in technique.” I joked and watched as John’s eyes became mischievous and his smirk widened.

“Yeah, but which one works better?” He whispered, his eyes momentarily lowering to my lips, awaiting my answer.

“I guess we will have to wait and find out.” I retorted and watched as his eyes locked onto mine, and then he nodded and took a small step back. “I’m going to get ready, you should go plan with Brass.” Our eyes lingered on each other’s for a moment before John nodded and then took another step back.

“Good idea, sweetness.” He sent me a quick wink before turning on his heels and heading back into the kitchen where he was greeted by Derick asking him a million questions about where to go, where to eat, and what to do about transportation.

Not moving from my spot, I listened as Derick kept rambling on and on, wondering if I would like all of the places he lined up. After John pointed it out that Derick was getting a little ‘too’ excited about all of this, the brunette chuckled and let out a small sigh.

“I just really want her to have a good time, that’s all.”

“I know Brass, you’ve been in love with her for millenniums.” John chuckled and then groaned as a loud slap rang through the otherwise silent apartment.

“Shut your fucking mouth, now.” Derick snapped and then sighed. “It doesn’t matter anyway, and me saying this doesn’t give you or the other two the go ahead to even look at her funny.”

The room stayed silent for a moment and then as soon as they started talking again, I quickly slipped into my bedroom and shut the door. As my eyes scanned over everything in the bedroom, I sucked in a deep breath, shook my head, and then walked over to my clothes and started to grab clean clothes as I pushed Derick’s words into the back of my mind.

I’m sure they were all just joking.

Who the fuck would want an emotional train wreck like myself, anyway?

Exactly, no one.