Northern Wind

“You having fun?” Derick pulled me into his side and pressed his lips into my head as we slowly followed the other boys. After a few steps, I nodded and dragged my eyes from the sidewalk and placed them on his.

Swallowing hard, I pressed my fingers together and then inhaled softly. “I like the guys, they’re really sweet”, I smiled at Derick and watched as his eyes brightened. “I’m glad you invited them, its nice to be around people again.” I whispered and watched as John turned to look at us and then smiled wickedly when he saw Derick and I so close

“I was worried you’d be having a shitty time.”

“Free lattes, Der.” I whispered as I reminded him of the two small lattes’ he had bought me earlier in the day. As we both shared a laugh, he looked down, his cheeks a light shade of pink as he rubbed his hand up and down my arm and then sighed. “I’m okay.” I offered as soon as I noticed his worried features. “I’m really having a good time, you should relax.” I pressed the palm of my hand into Derick’s chest and looked up at him, locking my eyes on his. As his heart raced under my touch, his face turned a deep red and he nodded, looking away from me and loosening his grip on my body.

We took a few moe steps together before Derick pulled his arm back and shoved his hands in his pockets. Not glancing down at me, he continued to walk, step by step, keeping his eyes locked on everything but me.

It bothered me in a way, how awkward he was around me now, but I brushed it off as soon as the three men ahead of us paused and waited for us to catch up. As soon as I was within reach, John snaked his arm around me and pulled me into a huge hug. “What do you want to do Christa?” John gave me a tight squeeze and then let me go, smiling widely.

“Maybe another coffee?” The blonde groaned as a huge smile lit up on his face. Just as he was about to talk, the brunette took a step around him and looked at me with bright eyes. Insisting he would be up for another coffee, the blonde groaned again and turned away from us.

“I want some real damn food. It’s like seven at night.”

“Then let’s get dinner.” I offered and watched as the three boys nodded enthusiastically. “Do you know any good places, Brass?” Swiveling my head on my shoulders, I faced the man and watched as his eyes caught mine and held them for what felt like a really long time.

When he cleared his throat and rambled off the name of some grill/bar a few blocks down, I blinked a few times and watched as he took a few steps ahead of me, joining the other two guys as he pulled out his phone and quickly started jabbing his thumbs into the screen.

Eyebrows meeting in the center of my forehead, I went to speak when John pulled me into him again and looked down, ushering me to walk to keep up with the group that was now headed to the place that Derick had mentioned. “You down for a beer and a burger?”

“I’m not really a meat eater, but I’m sure I can find something.” John laughed a little, rolling his eyes at my diet. He informed me it’s no surprise that I, of all people, would be a vegetarian. When I mentioned that I east chicken on the occasion, he rolled his bright blue eyes and looked down at me, his lips twisted into an amused smirk.

As our conversation fell into a comfortable silence, I let my mind and thoughts drift away form the words that were being thrown over my head from boy to boy, and sink down to the replay of Derick and I from only a few minutes ago. My mind was critically analyzing every miniscule detail as I walked in tow with John.

The soft fabric of Derick’s shirt against my fingertips caused my whole hand to go numb. It was an action I had done before, but the previous times had never yielded such a strange reaction. I had felt Derick’s expensive shirts before, I knew they were a ridiculous thread count. I knew how strong his chest was, and I knew how intimate the gesture was, but it was never received that way. I had done it countless times, but I had never felt anyone’s heart race like that.

I suddenly felt awkward among the men. I had known Derick almost my whole life, and John as long as they’d been in the NHL, but despite that fact, I felt like I was an outsider. I felt like I didn’t really know the two guys that I had been a friend with for over four years. John had never been so flirtatious with me, winking and kissing the top of my head, throwing nicknames out and keeping me tucked into his side, and Derick, he had never acted this way around me. He never kept quiet or turned situations of us being close so awkward.

He either could have been trying to figure out how to interact with me since I was dealing with something so numbing, or Jake was right, and he liked me?

It was impossible. Derick was a professional hockey player, he could be scoring models. He made over four million dollars a year.

“Hey, Chris.” I paused for a moment; my eyes wide as my head snapped to the side and let my eyes fall on the bright blue eyes that had been at my side for however long we were walking. “You wanna sit or?”

Blinking a few times, I watched as the other men slipped into a booth and sent me small smiles. Shaking my head a little, trying to fight the blush that was creeping onto my face, I slid into the booth between the wall and John, and then glanced up and watched Derick rip his eyes off of me and drop them down to the menu.

Blinking a few times, I twitched my nose and went to grab my menu when I felt a hand on my thigh. Glancing to the brunette next to me, I watched as his eyebrows met in the center of his head, and he frowned. “Are you okay?” His voice was low enough to fly under the earshot of the men sitting across from us, sucked into their own conversation about beer.

“I’m fine, why?”

“Just making sure.” He whispered and then slipped his hand off of my leg and held the menu up in front of his face, his bright eyes scanning the small type.

It took me about five minutes to clear my head and pick up the menu. Luckily during this time, the men didn’t notice my eyes staring at the wooden table top. They didn’t notice how I cringed every few seconds at the thought of what I was going through, how I was being treated, and how my mind was suffocating from being so lost in someplace so different.

I wasn’t comfortable here, and I wasn’t comfortable home.

My plan was turning to shit.

“Can I take your drink orders?” A man around our age asked as his eyes ran over the faces and then landed on mine, the only person who looked up at him as he spoke. Sending him a quick smile, I cleared my throat and dropped my eyes to the menu. As soon as they landed on a chocolate martini, I nodded and recited the name to the man, and watched as he gave me a wide smile and a nod.

As John ordered a beer, I looked up and watched as Derick eyed me for a moment before turning away from me and telling the man what drink he wanted. After he ordered a water, I bit the inside of my cheek and tried not to make it too obvious I was puzzled why he decided to order a non-alcoholic beverage. Derick wasn’t an alcoholic by any means, but we usually got drinks together, especially in a social setting.

The waiter left and the four boys at the table stayed in a comfortable silence as their eyes scanned the menus. Glancing back and forth between them all, I found myself being the first one with the menu closed and resting on the table. I had decided on a salad with a bunch of random topics including applies, which were my favorite food.

“What are you getting?” Derick’s soft voice hit my ear and caused my eyes to widen. He was just acting so strange.

“The Warwick Salad.” I responded twitching my nose a little. “It has apples in it.”

For the first time since I made things horribly awkward between us by placing my hand on his chest, Derick smiled at me. Not a tiny smile, but one of his normal huge tooth bearing grins. When his signature laugh left his lips, I found myself sitting their, eyes wide as they took him in. I loved when Derick was happy, I always had. I would go to the ends of the Earth to keep his dorky smile on his face.

“How could I forget your obsession with apples.” He rolled his eyes and then looked back at me, sparkling eyes in mine. “I was expecting an Apple Martini, too.”

“I could always order another one.” I added.

“You think I’m made of money?” Fake shock smothered his features as I continued to laugh at our words. “You’re an expensive date.”

“I’ll pay for my own then.” I stuck my tongue out at the brunette and listened as the other men at the table laughed at my childish actions. This side of me was much different than the gloomy, latte drinking, silent girl they had been with most of the day. I didn’t mean to come off so depressed and quiet, that’s just how I was sometimes, especially as of late.

Derick always seems to bring the real me out. The one that likes apples and making faces, stupid jokes and smiling. The one that I swore I lost as soon as those words hit my ears, as soon as I realized Jake was gone.

The waiter came back just in time with my martini. I could have thanked him ten more times than I already did as I immediately placed the glass to my lips and took a sip. Letting the liquid slip down my throat, my smile widened as I fluttered my eyes shut and tilted my head back.

“I love chocolate.” I hummed as Derick laughed loudly from across the table. “You wanna taste, Brass?” I asked quickly, enthusiastic about sharing the delicious drink I had ordered. Without hesitation, the brunette grabbed the dainty glass and put it to his lips just about the same place I had mine. Tilting it back, he took a small sip and then handed the glass back, his eyes slowly widening as he swallowed.

Nodding, he leaned over the table a little, eyeing the other men before he spoke. “How would I order one of those?”

“Your mouth?”

“Wouldn’t it be kind of weird for me to order that? It’s such a girl drink.” He sighed as his eyes traced around the glass.

“Want me to order another one, and I’ll give you the new one?” I looked up at the brunette, catching his big eyes in mine and paused. As we stared at each other, Derick’s face turned a light shade of pink, and after what felt like centuries, he nodded a little and looked down, inhaling sharply before pulling out his cell phone and placing it down on the table. Diverting his eyes down, he sighed lightly and then started typing away on the lower half of the screen.

I chewed my lip in order to not say anything. I loved the brunette to death, but when he made simple eye contact so awkward, I wanted to scream at him. I didn’t want him to feel anything toward me, I didn’t want him to be embarrassed or afraid of me. I just wanted what we had. I wanted my best friend to help me take my mind off of how fucking horrible my life had been in the past two months.

“Hey Chris, what are you getting?” My eyes snapped to the boy next to me, his menu now completely unfolded, blocking us from the rest of the table. As the two other boys did subtle cat calls and shouted other stupid things about ‘getting it’, I chuckled a little and looked at John shaking my head.

“The salad with apples in it.” I responded trying to hold back the blush on my cheeks as my eyes started swimming in the huge crystal blue pools barreling into mine. “What’s with the confidentiality?” I joked as my fingertips lightly tapped the menu blocking us from the table.

“I like to push Brass’s buttons.”

“I wouldn’t.” I whispered and watched as John sent me a wink, and then took the menu down, as I turned back to mine folded on the table, shaking my head. No more than ten seconds later, John’s cell phone buzzed on the table. As he tilted it to face him and unlocked it, my curious eyes wandered over to the screen.

You’re a douche, junior.

I cracked a smile immediately. There was only one person in the world who called John junior, and that was Derick. When John was being rude, or pushing his best friends buttons, he would receive a text like this.

The waiter came back a short time after all of the conversations died down and took our orders. Mats ended up getting a salad, Carl got a cheese burger, John got some pasta, and Derick ordered the same salad I had, and a chocolate martini. As the other guys at the table held back their laughter, I placed my hand on my forehead and waited for the server to leave the table before letting out my laughter with the rest.

“You want to go get a Mani Pedi after this, Brassy?” Carl cried as he covered his face with his hands and continued to laugh.

“Oh shut up ya fuck.” Derick snapped, a smile on his face as he rolled his eyes and placed his hand on his cheek, trying to block out how red his face was.

“You’re such a copy cat.” I shot at him as the other guys continued to joke about ordering salads and martini’s.

“I’m dying to know why you’re so obsessed with apples.” He offered, his eyes locking on mine for the millionth time that night.

“You could have just had some of mine, ya’ know.”

He shrugged, his eyes dropping to the table before they jumped back to mine. “You want to go to one of our games this week? You can hang out with Carl’s girlfriend and some of the others, they’re all super nice.”

I shook my head.

“What about the week after that? We have a home game next, next Saturday night.” I shrugged as a response and watched as Derick frowned. “I would go, but-“

“Don’t waste your money like that, Der.”

“It’s not a waste of money at all, Christa.” He said firmly, his eyes glaring into mine. “When was the last time you went to one of my games? It’s been so long.” He was sad, his huge puppy dog eyes emitting a dull brown color so unlike his normal shimmering light brown eyes.

“I’ll pay for my own ticket.”

“Don’t be stupid.” He said quickly. “I’ll get it for you, you can sit with whatever girls want to go that night. They’re all great, they really are. You can meet Erica and Pamela, Dan’s wife. They’re always there, so nice, they really-“

“Oh yeah, Erica would love you!” Carl interjected, his eyes bouncing between the two of us. “Her English isn’t that spot on like mine, but it’s pretty good.”

“I don’t know.” My face was red as I thought about being surrounded with all of the super models that were the New York Ranger’s wives and girlfriends. “I think I’m too ugly to fit in with that group.”

My comment sent the table into an uproar. Mats, the one that said the least before me today was the first to speak up and inform me that I was literally crazy to think that, and that I should get a hold of myself and look in the mirror. As soon as he was done, Carl went to speak when John grabbed my face with both of his large hands and turned it toward him.

“You know you’re drop dead gorgeous, don’t you?”

I shook my head.

“Well, you are. You can put some of those ladies to shame.”

“Watch it.” Carl snapped, sending us both a sly smile as he pulled out his cell phone and announced he was going to text Erica and ask he when she was free. As I sighed heavily at that and let the rest of the blood in my body rush to my cheeks, I looked over at John and smiled a little. Sending me a dazzling smile back, I went to look back down at the table in front of me when my cell phone buzzed from my back pocket.

Eyebrows connecting in the center of my forehead, I pulled the phone out and hit the home button. Dropping my eyes to the new message, I glanced up at the brunette sitting across form me, and then roughly bit the inside of my cheek.

It was from him. Can we go grab coffee on Wednesday? Just you and me, so we can talk?

Swallowing hard, my mind suddenly started to run through all of the possible things he could say to me in two days. What if he was kicking me out already? What if he was mad about how John and I were interacting? I didn’t want to come between their friendships; I would never do that, that wasn’t me. What if he wanted to set me up with someone? Push me to meet people faster? I was barely okay with hanging out with Mats and Carl; more people so soon would just make my brain implode.

After I responded sure, with a little emoji or a coffee cup and a piece of cake, I heard Derick laugh from across the table at my response. I was glad he didn’t catch on to how worry I suddenly became, because I wasn’t up to having a serious text conversation with the boy sitting right across from me. That sort of thing bothered me to no end.

Just as I was about to put my phone away, it buzzed again.

Blinking a few times, I glanced at John, caught glimpse of his smirk, and then looked back at the message. It was from him.

You know he’s going to ask you out, right?