P.S. I Think I'm In Love With You

"What's up, best friend?" I asked Josh, spinning around in my computer chair.

"Nothing really," he answered. "Why?"

"Je ne sais pas," I replied casually, using one of the only french phrase I understand. "Do you want a girlfriend?"

"Uh...what?" he asked. He sat up a bit in surprise at the questoin.

"You know. A girlfriend. Someone you can kiss and hug and love and do all that fun stuff with..." I looked at him. "Do you want one?"

He chuckled a little uneasily. "You make it seem like you can just give one to me."

I laughed. "Now that you mention it..."

"Oh, no, Anna," He said shaking his head. He knew me too well. This isn't the first time I've tried to hook him up with someone. "I don't want to be set up with some girl that you know."

"Come on, Josh!" I begged. "Girls LOVE you. Why don't you give some of the love back?"

"Because I give all my love to you," he joked.

I sighed. "I KNOW that, but-"

"You know?" he interrupted. His voice a little on edge.

"I know you love me and Alyssa," I said, with a smile. His abrupt reactions always made me laugh.

"Right, right," he said, sounding a little embarrassed. "Sorry."

I leaned back in my chair, putting my legs up on my desk. The shorts I wore rose from mid-thigh to upper thigh. I noticed Josh's eyes lingering on my legs for a couple seconds before looking back up at me. This was different, I thought. Has he checked me out before?

"Anyway," I said, loudly, removing my legs from my desk and crossing them. "Lots of girls like you but you don't do anything about it."

"I don't really see the need to," he shrugged. "I don't want just lots of dates. I want long-term relationships. Not just hooking up with different girls."

"How else are you supposed to meet the right girl for you?" I asked, feeling a little frustrated. I didn't want him to be by himself. I wanted some girl to be able to treat him right. Of course I didn't want him to hook up with girls because...I don't want him to end up with some bitch or something. But I did want him to have someone to depend on like he did with me. Alyssa, too, of course. But him and I were much closer.

"I'll know when I'm with her," he answered softly, his warm brown eyes looking into my own.

"How?" I asked, wondering how he'll know he's found the right girl. Josh and I never really talk about girls. It's usually me talking about boys and him rolling his eyes.

"My heart will race whenever she's near me. Everything seems perfect, almost surreal when I'm with her. She'll even be the perfect height when we hug so that my head can rest on hers. Just...small, stupid stuff like that, I guess..." he trailed off, obviously embarrassed and uncomfortable. He looked down and sighed.

Alyssa burst into the room, faking tears. "That was so beautiful, Josh. I didn't know you felt the same way!" She rushed to hug him and gave him kisses on his cheeks and he laughed, gently pushing her off.

"You know you're the only girl for me," he said with a wink that most girls would stop and stare at, hoping to see him do it again.

She winked back. "I'm glad to know, babe."

I just watched them joke and flirt with each other and looked at Josh. I've known him for so long that I sometimes forget that he's an actual guy, as strange as that sounds. He knows what he wants in a girl and I'm sure she'd be all over him, just like most are. He's such a sweet and charming guy that it's hard not to fall for him. I looked at his face, noticing how handsome he was. It was strange seeing him this way and not as my best friend.

"Who wants our little Joshy this time?" Alyssa asked, using our little nickname for him. The name was ironic since he was taller than both of us and it wasn't like he was older either. We just liked calling him that. She began jumping on my bed, distracting me from my thoughts. I shook my head and like a switch, I just saw Josh: my best friend.

"Victoria Cade," I answered automatically. "She actually asked if I was okay with them dating. That's a first."

"Well, that's because the other girls aren't as smart," Alyssa said approvingly. "She's cute. Short, but cute. She's kinda shy though. Quiet too."

Josh shrugged and listened, something he did best.

"Why don't you go out with her?" I asked. "It's not like we're torturing you or something."

"Could've fooled me," he mumbled, playing with a pencil.

"So what if she's a little shorter than you," Alyssa said. Josh gave her a look. "Okay, a LOT shorter. Well, maybe if you weren't so tall we wouldn't have this problem."

"I'm not that tall!" he pointed out. "I'm only 5'11. She's almost an entire foot shorter than me."

"Why do you have to be so picky?" I asked. "You'll never meet the perfect girl that way."

"What if I already know her?" he said. "I'm absolutely 100 percent positive that the girl I could love for the rest of my life is out there. And she fits my supposedly high standards, too."

"Well, who is she then?" Alyssa and I asked at the same time.

He shrugged. "I was just trying to make a point..."

"So you'll go out with Victoria?" I pressed.

Giving a loud sigh, he nodded. "You two won't leave me alone until I do, so I guess I don't have much choice."

"Now that's the spirit!" Alyssa said in an enthusiastic tone, patting Josh on the back. "She can't be that bad."

Josh slumped in his chair, defeated, and let out another loud sigh. Alyssa then began to describe the new guy that she had her eyes on. I nodded when appropriate and added a few comments while looking at Josh. I was trying to see him as I did before when he wasn't just my best friend but just another guy. The problem was I couldn't. It didn't make much difference to me since I know he'll always be my best friend but it was interesting to see him from a different point of view. Heck, if I didn't know him, I'd be all over him. He's just my type. It doesn't really matter though. We could all tell that that would never happen.