P.S. I Think I'm In Love With You

I was sitting on top of Josh's car in the school parking lot, picking at the burger I bought at Burger King. Alyssa was laughing and talking excitedly to Josh and Victoria, who had recently joined our mini group. I'm not sure if this is a permanent thing, but if Josh and Victoria get any closer, it probably will be. She's been hanging out with us more often. It first started with her joining us at lunch once a week. Now it's every day. I don't mind her, but it's just that I'm not used to having a fourth person. It was always just us three, ever since we were little. She's been talking a lot more. I'm assuming she's getting more comfortable with us over the past few weeks. Josh and her have been kind of dating. Kind of dating makes no sense, right? That's what I said when Josh told me their status. According to Josh, "kind of dating" is that they're not official, but they do coupley things without seeing other people, not that he was seeing anyone to begin with.

I felt someone nudge me. I turned and saw Josh's concerned eyes looking into my own. "You all right? You're quiet. That never happens."

"It happens sometimes," I said, forcing myself to eat my burger.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked, putting his hand around my shoulders. I saw Victoria glance up at us for a second then quickly turn away. I gently shrugged off his shoulder, suddenly feeling like "the other woman."

"You never do anything wrong," I answered with my usual bright smile. Faking was easier than trying to explain my moodiness. "You're our perfect little Joshy."

He nodded and turned away hesitantly, probably wondering if he should believe me or not. Victoria's hand somehow found Josh's and they were holding hands. I turned away from it. Josh has never had a girlfriend and this was just so strange. His attention was always focused on Alyssa and I. No other girls. Just us. Maybe I was feeling jealous that we're no longer the only girls in his life? I shrugged and halfheartedly tried joining the conversation. Josh would turn to look at me every now and then with that typical "worried Josh" look. I smiled at the gesture and crumpled my garbage. I'm just being overdramatic or something, I thought, ignoring the fact that Josh just wrapped his arm around Victoria. Maybe I just wanted someone for myself...that's when the idea hit me. I just need a boyfriend and there has been one guy my eye's been lingering on for quite some time. Aaron Tates. The most popular and gorgeous guy in the school (Josh was a close second). Why don't I make him mine? Feeling my excitement building up, I jumped up.

"I need you and Alyssa to come to my house later, okay?" I said to Josh. He nodded, a little confused.

"No problem," Alyssa exclaimed. She loved those random gatherings we did.

"What are you guys going to do?" Victoria asked, obviously curious.

"Nothing," I said, shrugging her off. "Just some friend gathering."

"Oh," she mumbled. "Can I come?"

"Uh..." I didn't know what to say. No one had ever asked to join our group because it had always been the same. "I really don't mean to sound rude, but this is just something we do between the three of us."

"Is it some orgy or something?" She joked. I could tell she was somewhat serious.

I laughed uncomfortably. "No, it's just some idea I want to run by them."

"Oh, really?" she asked. "What idea?"

I looked at her surprised. I was just opening my mouth when Josh interrupted me.

"Don't worry about it," Josh said to Victoria. "How about I come over to your house afterwards?"

"But you usually sleep over," I said, trying to win this little fight between me and Victoria.

"Usually," he emphasized. "Just tonight, okay?" He looked between Victoria and I trying to see if this would calm us down. Victoria smirked triumphantly and I rolled my eyes, feeling a little hurt. He never chose anyone over us.

Alyssa nudged me and gave a look that said, "cut it out."

I crossed my arms and glared at Victoria who was giving Josh, MY Josh goo-goo eyes.

"I have to go," I mumbled, jumping off of Josh's car and walking towards the parking lot exit.

"But you still have three classes left!" Josh shouted behind me.

"As if I give a fuck," I yelled back. "I'm walking home!"

"But it's three miles!" Josh yelled. He knew I hardly cursed. Only when I was upset.

"I could use the exercise!" I continued stomping along when I heard footsteps running behind me. I quickened my pace but Josh stepped in front of me.

"What's wrong?" he asked, putting his hands on my shoulders.

"Nothing," I answered, taking his arms off my shoulders. "Don't leave Victoria waiting."

"Is that what this is about?" he asked in disbelief. "Victoria?"

I shrugged, not looking him in the eyes.

"You're the one who wanted me to go out with her and honestly, I kind of like her," he said, still watching me.

"I didn't think that you'd choose her over us though!" I exclaimed, feeling a little immature, but continuing. "It's always just the three of us. Now she's following you like a puppy."

"You must've figured out that things wouldn't be the same," he said.

"I'll walk with her," Alyssa said, walking behind me, putting her arm around my shoulders. "You should go back to Victoria."

Josh stepped towards me and opened his mouth. Then closed it again, not really sure of what to say. He nodded.

Alyssa and I turned and walked away from Josh while we heard his footsteps recede behind us.

"What's up with you, hun?" Alyssa asked. "Jealous that Victoria got Josh before you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"You know exactly what I mean," she said with a comforting smile. "You and Josh have a certain connection. Always have. It's just taking him a while to realize it, I guess. Don't you worry about a thing."

"I don't like Josh," I said, surprised at her thinking. "I just don't like Victoria."

She raised an eyebrow but left the subject alone. We walked about, half a mile before we heard a car following us. I turned and immediately recognized Josh's car. He gave me a small smile which I tried to return. He opened his car door and stepped out. "I had to give Victoria a ride," he said apologetically.

"Why didn't you stay with her?" Alyssa asked, reading my mind.

"I couldn't let my two best friends walk three miles home," he said, smiling.

Alyssa and I looked at each other and nodded before getting into his car.

"Why did you want us to go to your house?" he asked. "Another one of your brilliant ideas?"

"How did you know?" I asked back with a smile.

"You always have a new idea," Josh and Alyssa replied at the same time. "You were bound to get another one sooner or later."

"I realized what my problem is with Victoria," I started.

Josh glanced at me from the corner of his eye and let me continue.

"I just want a boyfriend," I said. "And I kinda sorta wouldn't mind if a certain Aaron Tates happened to take that place."

Josh hit the brakes hard and all three of us lunged forward into the seatbelts.

"What the hell, Josh?" Alyssa shouted angrily, rubbing her stomach.

"Aaron?!" he exclaimed, turning towards me. "Really? Why? He's such a dick."

"You don't even know him," he pointed out.

"I know that he's the hottest guy in the school," I retorted. "All I have to do is get his attention and we'll be the most amazing couple ever."

"You two confuse me, you know that?" Alyssa said with a sigh, looking between me and Josh. "I always thought you two would get together but here we are, you two totally dating people the other hates. Wait. Is this some sort of game you two play so you can have angry sex?"

I laughed at her perverted idea. "We're just friends. Right, Josh?"

He opened his mouth but closed it quickly and nodded instead.

"I don't care what you two say," Alyssa said as we pulled into my driveway. She unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the cardoor. "You two are totally gonna hook up if you haven't already." She slammed the door behind her and skipped to my front door, unlocking it with the key I had given her years ago.

Josh and I looked at each other. The mood in the car was uncomfortable and awkward, something that never happened between the two of us.

"She's just being weird," I explained, hoping to shift the mood. "She always has weird theories."

"Yeah," he agreed. "Like that would ever happen..."