Dusk & Summer

tom.
aug 30, 2005.
london, england.
I glanced down at my watch as the voice in my ear droned on and on - I'd stopped listening a while ago.

It was 6 30 pm. Anna was coming here in 45 minutes, and we were going to have dinner somewhere in Strand because it was my last night in London; I was flying back to San Diego tomorrow.

"Ad- Adam, I've got an arrangement that I need to get ready for...could I phone you tomorrow when I get back to Cali?" I eventually interrupted him down the phone.

"Oh. Yeah, sure Tom. Give me a call tomorrow. Have a good last night in London."

"Will do, thanks. Bye."

I hung up and breathed out in relief; Adam had kept me on the phone for a good hour talking about the band. I threw my phone down on the bed and slipped my watch off my wrist before throwing that too, where it landed with a thump on the bed.

I pulled my t shirt over my head as I made my way towards the bathroom. I reached up and turned on the shower with one hand while unbuttoning my pants with the other. As I left the shower to heat up I walked back into the bedroom and quickly stripped myself of the rest of my clothes. I ran back into the bathroom and had a quick shower, before climbing out and wrapping a towel around my waist. I walked back into the bedroom and glanced at the time. I only had half an hour to get ready to meet Anna.

anna.
I left Temple Tube Station and glanced around me as I began walking up the street towards Strand. It was a gorgeous, warm night and my light dress fluttered around my legs with the warm breeze. I glanced down at my comfortable, white wedges as I walked, worrying about how I looked. I glanced into a cafe window at my reflection and trying to smooth down my unruly hair a little.

I'd spent a long time getting ready. I just wanted to impress Tom, even though I knew there was no point. He didn't like me in that way and he never would. I was too young, he probably thought I wasn't mature enough or something.

I sighed to myself and fished my phone out of my small, white handbag to look at the time. I had ten minutes to walk there but I'd easily be there in five.

A few minutes later I was climbing the steps up to the main street. Expensive restaurants, bars and hotels lined the pavements either side of me, and it made me realise, properly realise for the first time, just how different Tom's lifestyle was to mine.

It didn't seem it when I was with him. He was such a normal, down to earth person. I forgot when I was with him that he was in fact a rich, famous American rock star.

Why the hell does he like spending time with me?!

I quickly pulled my compact out of my bag and checked my appearance, suddenly very self-conscious of how I looked and what I was wearing. Was I dressed nicely enough?

I glanced up, and my stomach did an inexplicable, pleasant jump as I spotted Tom standing outside a large, very expensive looking hotel. My nerves flared a bit as I got closer and a flurry of butterflies appeared in my stomach.

He looked so handsome. He was wearing plain black, smart trousers and shoes, and a clean white shirt with the top few buttons undone. His hands were resting casually in his pockets as he glanced around, waiting for me. His face looked fresh but with a slight hint of five o'clock shadow which I found so sexy.

I took a deep breath in an attempt to calm my nerves as I neared him. He finally glanced in my direction and saw me approaching when I was only a few yards away. His face lit up into his gorgeous smile, showing two rows of perfect teeth, and he lifted a hand out of his pocket to wiggle his fingers in a wave.

"Evening." Tom grinned as I reached him. He placed a hand on my waist lightly and leant down to kiss my cheek. "Ready to eat?"

I looked down at my feet as I nodded to hide my blushing cheeks. His lips felt so soft against my skin, and he smelt amazing.

"I thought we'd eat somewhere on the bank." Tom was saying as we began walking, but all I could think about was his warm hand resting lightly on my waist. "It's such a nice night tonight, don't you think?"

I don't want him to go home tomorrow. I wonder when I'll next see him? ...If I ever do again. What if he doesn't come back to England? Oh, that's stupid. He'll have to, he'll be going on tour a lot. But that doesn't mean he'll get in touch with me. He might not want to see me again after tonight. He'll probably just forget about me when he gets back to Cal-

"Anna?"

I jolted as Tom's voice interrupted my thoughts. I looked up at him quickly and saw a crooked smile gracing his lips as he stared down at me. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said cheerfully, grinning up at him as I rid the thoughts from my head.

"Sure?" He asked, and I nodded with a smile. A pleasant shiver ran up my spine as he slid his hand up my back from my waist before squeezing my shoulder gently. Then he returned his hand to his side before slipping it into his pocket casually.

"Did you have a good day?" He asked me, and I made a face.

"So boring. I hate tuesdays, I have to work on the stall and then at the spa."

"That doesn't sound very fun." Tom laughed, and I joined in as I glanced up at him. His eyes were sparkling happily and his cheeks were slightly flushed as his wide grin was spread across his lips. He looked happy, exhilerated, and so sexy. He reached up and ran a hand through his neat, brown hair, but it just fell back across his forehead anyway.

"What did you do today, then?" I asked as we wandered down the enbankment at a slow, pleasant pace.

"Oh I..I just had an interview for a magazine." He shrugged as he watched his feet kick a stone in front of him. "It was boring."

"It doesn't really sound it." I laughed. "That sounds far more interesting than my day."

Tom's cheeks turned a delicate pink. "It's no big deal."

I nudged him with my elbow as I looked up at him. "Big famous man."

Tom laughed embarassedly and nudged me back. "Shut up."

We walked along in pleasant silence for a while, and all I could think about was Tom's arm occasionally brushing against mine.

"Here looks nice." Tom suddenly stopped and placed a hand on my arm. I followed his gaze to a small, pretty restaurant with dark wooden panelling and cast iron tables and chairs scattered around outside.

"Yeah, sure." I said happily, and we walked towards the restaurant. Tom opened the door and held it open for me, placing a hand on my lower back as I stepped inside. He followed me inside and we looked around interestedly. A waiter walking past spotted us and stopped in his tracks.

"Good evening." He said with a smile. "Table for two?"

"Yes, please." Tom replied, and the waiter picked up two menus with a nod.

"Would you like to sit inside or outside?" He asked, and Tom looked down at me questioningly.

"I don't mind." I said with a shrug, and Tom grinned.

"Let's sit outside."

The waiter nodded again and led us back through the doors into the warm evening air. He walked over to a table furthest away from anyone else or the front of the restaurant, and we both sat down.

"Would you like to order a drink now?" He asked as he handed us both a menu.

"A bottle of champagne, please." Tom said, and I grinned. The waiter left and we both began to study our menus in comfortable silence.



"So what time do you go home tomorrow?" I asked Tom as the waiter took away our dessert plates. He sighed and picked up his glass before taking a sip.

"My flight's at 11 45." He said with a face. I nodded and looked down, watching as my fingers smoothed out the creases in the clean, white table cloth.

"I..so when are you going to come back and visit me?" I said teasingly, forcing any nerves to stay out of my voice as I looked up at Tom with a smile. He grinned and reached across the table to clasp my hand in his.

"Soon, definitely."

I couldn't help the blood rushing to my cheeks as a smile smeared across my lips.

"I really like it here."

"What, the restaurant or London?"

Tom laughed. "I meant London, but I like the restaurant too." He let go of my hand, to my disappointment, and picked up his champagne flute again as the waiter returned with our bill.

"Thanks." Tom said to him, before continuing. "It's so...I don't know. Relaxed here. It's fun. But that's probably just because when I'm here, I get to be away from...from the divorce and everything."

I nodded and took a sip from my own glass.

"But let's not talk about that tonight." Tom then said with a smile, as he pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and took a credit card out. He picked up the two mints sitting on top of the receipt in the little silver dish, and placed his credit card down. He handed me one of the mints and popped the other into his mouth with a smile.

As the waiter returned to take away the dish I leant back in my seat with a sigh.

"What's the time?" I asked Tom, and he glanced down at his watch.

"About 9 30." He told me, and I nodded.

"I suppose you'll want to go back to your hotel and have a good night's sleep." I said, with a small smile. Tom looked down at the table, before shrugging.

"Not..not particularly..." He said, then glanced up at me. "But if you want to go home-"

"I don't mind." I interrupted quickly. "I don't have work tomorrow."

There was a pause, before Tom cleared his throat.

"Shall we go for a drink somewhere after this, then?" He asked with a nervous smile, and my face lit up with a grin.

"Yeah, sure." I said, and Tom grinned back at me.

"Awesome." He said as the waiter returned with his credit card. He thanked him and slipped it back into his wallet before standing up.

"Where would you like to go?" He asked as he slipped his wallet back into his back pocket. "I'm sure you know all the good places."

I smiled as I stood up and slung my bag over my shoulder.

"I recommend SoHo." I said, and Tom raised his eyebrows and grinned.

Fifteen minutes later we were settled on the tube, on our way to Leicester Square. There weren't any free seats in our compartment so we had to stand, which meant I was a lot closer to Tom than in normal situations.

He still smelt gorgeous, and if I glanced up at him I could see the slight, sexy stubble on his jaw and chin. He suddenly looked down at me and grinned, with one arm raised above his head as he held onto the bar running along the ceiling of the compartment. I was holding onto the pole next to the door which meant my right arm was brushing against Tom's side, his crisp, clean white shirt rustling with every movement.

When we reached Leicester Square, Tom placed his hand on my lower back as I stepped off the tube before following me. We left the station and stepped into the cool, busy night. People were milling around everywhere, but Leicester Square was never empty. Tom and I walked down the street in pleasant silence until we turned onto the road that led to SoHo.

"Where are we going, then?" Tom asked me as we slipped between people in the brightly lit street.

"There's a really nice bar round the corner. It doesn't get too busy in there." I replied, and Tom nodded.

"Cool." He said. We fell into another comfortable silence as we walked along a less busy road. Suddenly, Tom cleared his throat.

"By the way.." He started, and I glanced up at him sharply, not knowing what he was going to say next. "You...you look beautiful tonight." He stammered nervously, keeping his eyes fixed firmly on the ground in front of us. Blood rushed to my cheeks as a smile smeared across my face helplessly.

"Thank you." I said shyly, twisting my fingers together. "...You look nice too."

Tom laughed a little embarassedly and shrugged, not knowing what else to do.

A few moments later I took his arm and pulled him through the door of a small, dark bar. Inside the walls were painted cream but the lighting was dark, and the furniture was all dark wood and brown leather. There was the faint sound of relaxed music underneath the laid back chatter of the people already seated with drinks in their hands.

"We can- we can go somewhere else if you want something a bit more 'lively'-" I started, but Tom interrupted me.

"This is perfect." He said, with a smile. We walked over to the bar and stood waiting for the barman to be free, until he came over. We ordered our drinks - mine a strawberry Daiquiri and Tom's a large glass of red wine - before making our way over to some free seats.

"Is that good? I've never had one before." Tom asked as we sunk back into the leather seats and I took a sip of my cocktail. I offered it to him and he tried a bit, before nodding.

"It's nice." He said with a smile, before looking around him interestedly.

"Bars and stuff are so different here than in America." He said, and I laughed.

"That's because it's a different country."

He grinned and took a sip of his wine, and we chatted happily until both our glasses were empty. Tom drained his glass, before he stood up and took out his wallet.

"Another?" He asked me, and I nodded.

"Yes please. Thank you." I stood up myself and brushed down my dress. "I'm just gonna go to the bathroom." I told him, and Tom nodded, gently placing his hand on my arm briefly before we parted ways.

When I came out of the bathroom, I spotted Tom standing at the bar still waiting to get served, so I went and stood beside him. He grinned down at me, and I peered along the bar. Both the barmen were busy, so I rested my elbows on the surface and cupped my face in my hands as we waited.

A few minutes later, I felt Tom shift beside me so I turned to look at him, and saw him turning towards a girl. She looked about 27, with long, straight blonde hair and a low-cut halter neck on.

"Hi." I heard her say to Tom as she flashed him a dazzling grin. "I couldn't help but notice you from across the bar."

"Oh. Uh, hey." He said back. He didn't seem sure of what to do.

"Where are you from?" She asked, after hearing his accent.

"California." He told her, and she raised an eyebrow.

"Your accent is really sexy." She purred, placing a hand on his arm and laughing silkily. Tom laughed nervously.

"Thanks."

Tom suddenly glanced back at me, and I quickly looked down as my cheeks flamed. I didn't want him to think I was jealous. I didn't want him to think I was ruining his chances with this woman, or anything.

I got out my phone and pretended like I wasn't with Tom as I began typing a text to Mel.

"So why are you in England?" The woman asked Tom, leaving her hand on his arm and taking a step closer to him.

"Uum, just...on holiday. Taking a break." He said, raising his hand to itch his face.

"Oh my God, look at your tattoos!" She suddenly exclaimed, noticing the end of his sleeve as his shirt cuff rose.

"Oh. Yeah." He said awkwardly, as her fingers swiftly unbuttoned his cuff and she pushed his shirt sleeve up. I glanced over and saw her smirk up at him as she traced a few of his tattoo's with her fingernail.

"That's really sexy." She said, and I rolled my eyes at how forward this woman was being. Did she have no shame?!

Tom coughed nervously and politely pushed her hand away, doing his shirt cuff back up and peering down the bar for the bartender.

"So can I buy you a drink?" The woman asked Tom in her silky voice. I squeezed my eyes shut briefly, dreading the rest of the night if Tom left me to go off with this woman.

"Uh, no thanks. Sorry." He said with an apologetic smile. "I'm here with someone."

My stomach did a little flip as I heard him say that. The woman looked insulted, and just shrugged before walking off back over to her friends. Tom looked over at me and smiled helplessly, and I forced myself to smile cheerfully.

"Well, look at you. Ladies' man." I said, and Tom shook his head.

"No..." He trailed off nervously, and I laughed.

"You could've had a drink with her if you wanted, Tom." I said, trying to make it seem like I didn't mind. Tom shook his head again.

"I don't want to."

He caught my gaze for a few seconds, but I couldn't read his expression. I lowered my eyes and nodded, my cheeks turning pink.

"Anna-" Tom suddenly said, and I quickly looked back up at him. He hesitated for a few seconds, before carefully placing his hand over mine on the bar surface. "I...I-"

"Sorry about the wait. What can I get you?" We were suddenly interrupted by the barman, who was finally in front of us and wiping his hands on a cloth.

"Oh." Tom seemed a bit startled, and quickly removed his hand from mine. "Uh...one strawberry Daiquiri and another glass of red wine, please."

As the barman went off to get our drinks, we stood in silence.

Ask him what he was going to say.

But I couldn't bring myself to do it. My mouth had gone dry.

Tom paid for our drinks and we carried them over to a free table. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket as we sat down, and I pulled it out to see a text from Mel asking where I was. I quickly replied and a few moments later, she texted back to say she and her boyfriend Sammy were five minutes away and would be here soon.

"Is it alright if Mel and her boyfriend join us for a while?" I asked Tom, and he nodded and grinned.

"Yeah, sure, that's fine." He said. When they arrived, Mel greeted Tom with a handshake before her large, skinhead of a boyfriend introduced himself to Tom. Sam was a lovely guy, but I could see why people might be intimidated by him at first. He was about the same height as Tom, but far bulkier and with a shaved head. The few tattoo's he had peeked out from beneath his shirt sleeves and collar, and I could already hear him asking Tom about Tom's own tattoos as they shook hands.

Mel went over to the bar to get hers and Sam's drinks as I sipped my own and looked around. When Mel returned she immediately began talking to me about the stall, and I glanced over at Tom to make sure he was okay. He and Sam were deep in conversation about their tattoos and they seemed to be getting along fine, so I immersed myself in my conversation with Mel.

After about fifteen minutes, Mel turned to Sam and interrupted his and Tom's conversation to ask him if he was staying at ours tonight. I suddenly felt Tom's warm hand slide round my lower back and his breath hit my ear as he leaned into me.

"You okay?" He asked softly in my ear, and I turned my head as he moved his own back to look at me with a smile. I grinned and nodded happily, my back tingling pleasantly as the warmth from Tom's hand soaked into my skin.

As he turned back to pick up his drink and take a sip, he left his hand on my lower back and I couldn't help my heartbeat speed up a little.

"Oh! Anna, let me tell you about this guy that came to the stall just after you left..." Mel started, and I turned my attention back on her. I forced myself to concentrate on what she was saying but all thoughts vanished from my head as I felt Tom start stroking my lower back in tiny circles with his thumb lightly.

For some reason I suddenly had no idea what to do with my hands, and they twisted together in my lap nervously as Tom's thumb continued to send shivers up and down my spine.

Does he realise he's doing it? I wondered with a thumping heart. I tried to glance at Tom out of the corner of my eye, but from what I could see from my peripheral vision he was in deep conversation with Sam.

It was definitely a good ten minutes before Tom removed his hand, and that was only because he got up to go to the bathroom. As he slipped past me, he looked down and caught my eye with a sideways smile. I smiled back and my gaze followed him as he crossed the room to the toilets, my eyes fixed firmly on his backside.

"Anna, if you don't kiss him tonight I will shoot you." Mel suddenly hissed in my ear, and I jumped. I shifted my gaze between Sammy and Mel uneasily as I crossed my legs and smoothed down the skirt of my dress.

"He's a really nice guy." Sam stated as he drained his pint glass, and Mel nodded in agreement.

"Come on Anna, he's going back to America when... tomorrow? Thursday?"

"Tomorrow." I told her, watching my fingers trace patterns in the water rings on the table.

"Then you need to do it tonight!" Mel exclaimed, getting excited. "Do it, Anna! Sam and I will leave in a minute and then you can-"

"No! You don't have to, Mel." I interrupted her with an exasperated sigh. "He wouldn't want me to kiss him."

"Are you kidding me?! Yes he would!" Mel cried, and I glanced around embarassedly.

"Shut up, Mel." I hissed, then nudged her urgently as Tom reappeared at the doors of the bathroom and began walking back over to us.

"Sammy and I will be leaving in a minute." Mel said, smiling up at Tom as he took his seat next to me. He nodded and smiled back, and she leant forward a bit to address him more directly.

"It was really nice meeting you though, Tom. I hope you come and visit us again soon."

She smiled sweetly at him and he grinned back happily.

"I will." He said, picking up his glass and taking a sip. Mel quickly finished off her own Vodka and Coke, before picking up her bag and slipping her phone inside.

"Shall we go?" She said to Sam, who nodded and stood up himself.

"Good meeting you, Tom." He said in his gruff voice, thrusting out his hand for Tom to shake. Tom stood up quickly and grasped Sam's hand in his own.

"You too, man." He said back, before he smiled at Mel and shook her hand too.

"See you later, Anna." Mel said as they edged round the back of the seats.

"Bye Anna." Sam said afterwards, and I waved as they both headed off in the direction of the door.

"So." Tom said with a sigh, taking another sip of wine and glancing at his watch. He groaned. "I need to go home and pack soon."

I made a face and willed myself to reach out and place my hand on his arm.

"Just throw it all in tonight and sort it out when you get home tomorrow."

Tom looked up at me, and his deep brown eyes met mine as they sparkled.

"I might just do that."

Just that look he gave me made my cheeks turn pink, and I quickly removed my hand from his arm as I picked up my bag.

"I'll order a taxi." Tom said, flipping open his phone.

"Oh... I don't know if I have enough. I was going to just get the tube..." I replied uneasily, snapping open my purse and looking inside. Tom brushed it off with a wave of his hand.

"Don't be silly."

"Tom, I'm not going to let you pay for my taxi home, I'll just-"

"It'll be my taxi too, Anna. Don't be so stubborn! Hi, are there any taxis available-"

As Tom began talking to the taxi company down the phone, I slipped my phone and purse into my bag, covering the silly smile on my face with my hair.

"He said it'll be here in a minute." Tom told me as he hung up, and I nodded. We both stood up and left the bar, that was far emptier than it was when we entered, before standing on the pavement waiting for our taxi. I shivered slightly, my bare arms goosepimpling against the cool night's air.

Tom glanced down at me, before I suddenly felt his warm arm wrap around my shoulders and pull me under his arm to keep me warm. I smiled and lightly leant my head into his breastbone as we looked around.

After about ten minutes, the taxi arrived and we both climbed inside. I gave the directions to my house and we both sat back with a sigh.

It took about twenty minutes before we pulled to a stop in front of my house, and Tom asked the taxi driver to wait a few minutes as he showed me to my door. Then we both climbed out and walked the little way to the gate at the top of my front garden.

"Well I...I've had a really nice week." Tom said softly as we stood somewhat awkardly, and I smiled and nodded.

"Me too."

Tom hesitated for a second, before stepping towards me and pulling me gently into an awkward hug. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck lightly as he squeezed me gently.

When we pulled away, I kissed his cheek softly.

"Stay in touch. Let me know when you're next in the country." I said with a smile, my eyes meeting his as I tilted my head slightly to look up at him. Tom nodded and I saw his cheeks slightly flushed.

"Yeah, definitely...definitely." He said, one hand still resting lightly on my forearm. "I...I'll probably be back pretty soon... Kerrang want me to do another interview with them soon, so..."

He trailed off nervously, and I nodded. There was a silence, before Tom cleared his throat and glanced over at the taxi waiting patiently beside the pavement.

"Well...I should get going. I still need to pack."

I nodded again, but neither of us moved. Tom began to take a step forward, but then stopped himself.

"...Bye, Anna." He said quietly, once again stepping forward but this time, resting his warm hand on my waist lightly as he dropped a soft kiss onto my cheek.

Then he turned and quickly walked towards the taxi, opening the door and sliding into the backseat. As he closed the door behind him he looked through the window and caught my eye. I raised a hand and waved, forcing a smile onto my face.

I didn't want him to leave. Why didn't I want him to leave so much? In retrospect I barely knew him.

Tom waved back with a somewhat sad smile himself. I knew he was dreading returning to America and facing his divorce again.

As the taxi pulled out onto the road and snatched Tom from my sight, I turned and began walking up the drive with the realisation that I didn't know when I'd next see him. I didn't know if I'd ever see him again; he might not bother to stay in touch or anything.

For the first time in the past week, I felt sick with nerves. But not in a good way.