This Is Love

I did see Sebastian in Berlin, Paris and back in the States
but after all the press and the releases, it was time
to part for real and I was sad about this.

I'd grown attached to Sebastian quite fast and I didn't
like the fact that I wouldn't see him again, probably for a long
time.

We kept in touch, we exchanged numbers and texted and called
alot to just talk to each other.
I had always liked him, from the moment I'd met him when he
came walking on set for Captain America but seeing so much
of him in those few weeks made me feel different about him.

He was in New York, taking a small break before taking
up another project and I was in LA, taking a 2 week break, as well.
I'd worked alot the past few months, first doing Captain America
and then another movie that would be out soon. I was resting at home
when I'd gotten a call from Sebastian, asking if I was home.

"Yeah, I'm home. I don't have anywhere else to be, really.
Enjoying the time off before everything begins again.
You?"
I asked him.

Then there was a knock on my door and I sighed.

"Wait, hold that thought. There's a knock on my door."
I said.

"Just let them stand out in the sun, who is more
important here?!"
he asked, as a joke.

"Well, you are of course. But I'm too curious for my own good,
Stan. You know I am."
I said, mostly referring to him by his last name.

"But I wanna talk to you!"
he exclaimed, with a certain humor in his voice.

"You talk to me all the time!"
I half yelled, back.

"Just open the damn door."
he muttered and I chuckled.

"Don't make me come over there to kick your.."
I said but stopped mid-sentence.

In front of me, was Sebastian with his phone pressed
against his ear.

"Kick my what?"
he asked with a grin.

"Ass, of course."
I said back before disconnecting the call and swinging my
arms around his neck.
"I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too."
he whispered as he held me close.

I held onto him longer than I should have but it
felt so good, hugging him.
"I'm about to let go, don't worry."
I mumbled and Sebastian chuckled.

"I'm not worrying, I'm fine where I am right now."
he said as he kissed the side of my head.

He really had his way of making me feel completely
special and wanted. I had no idea how he did it.

I released him and looked at him for a moment.
"You look good. Rested."

"You, too. You cut your hair."
he said, as he grabbed a strand and looked at it.
"I like it. It suits you."

I smiled.
"Thanks. I took a good few inches off."

It reached my shoulders now, before it reached halfway down
my back. I was done with it, though so I decided on something
new. A change felt like a good thing.

"Come in! God, I'm just letting you stand there, I'm a total
retard. Any stuff that need to be hauled in here?"
I asked, as I looked at my driveway.

"Nope, I already got them at the hotel."
Sebastian said as he took his sunglasses off.
"I like your house."

I sighed.
"You went and booked a goddamn hotel room? Call
someone to get your stuff! You're staying here, I have
an extra room and all that. Geez."
I gave him a little push.
"And thanks, I like it, too."

"You should, you decorated the place."
he said with a shrug, still looking around.
"And fine, I'll get my suitcases here somehow.
Didn't think you'd be so adamant about me
staying here."

"Of course I am, if you're here to see me, you're
staying over cause I'm awesome like that. Want something
to drink?"
I asked as Sebastian smiled at my obvious, stupid remark.

"Yeah, sure."
he said as he followed me into the kitchen.

"How was your flight?"
I asked, as I grabbed him a coke.
"Want this or something else?"

"Nah this is fine, thanks. Flight was good. Long
and all that but it's what you do when you really
want to see someone, I guess. Why didn't you come
to New York to visit me, by the way? It hurts, you know."
he said, before taking a sip.

"Because I figured you didn't want me hopping around
your house like some weirdo when you clearly needed
some rest before starting up whatever it is that you're up to."
I shrugged.
"I wanted to see you though, don't think I didn't."

The past few weeks we'd started to show some more affection
towards each other, while on the phone. We were really
starting to feel enormously comfortable around each other,
enjoying to hear what the other was up to.

We'd moved over to the couch and sat down, having
a face to face conversation, finally, after all those days
of not seeing each other.

"We could take a small hike, if you want? The weather's great
and I've been inside most of the time. It's not a big hike!"
I added when I saw his face.
"We don't have to, just thought it would be
fun to do."

"How far would we go?"
he asked.

"A few miles. We'll take the car up to where we want to start
and then walk up the mountain a bit. You'll love the view."
I said, and stood up to grab my sneakers.

"I guess we could do that. Sure, why not."
he said, when he saw my enthusiasm.

"Awesome. You're awesome."
I said, with a big smile as I tied the laces on my shoes.

We took the hike and we had alot of fun, just talking
and enjoying each others company.
When we had reached our destination, about halfway up
the mountain, I smiled at the view.

"Cool, huh?"
I asked, a little out of breath.

"It is. Very cool."
Sebastian said as he looked aroun him.

The sun was starting to set and I sighed in content.

"You okay?"
Sebastian asked, while putting his hand in my neck
and pulling me closer for a kiss on the side of my head.

"I'm perfect, right now. This is perfect."
I said, softly and leaned my head on his shoulder.

We watched the sun go down in a comfortable silence,
my head on his shoulder and his arm around me.

I knew right there and then that Sebastian was more to me
than just a friend. He was everything I'd ever wanted in a guy
and then some. He was sweet, he made me laugh
and I could talk to him for hours and hours without getting
bored. The fact that he was handsome was, to me, just a bonus.

"Hey, Stan?"
I asked, when the sun had set and the twilight had set
in. I removed my head from his shoulder and he dropped
his arm from my shoulders to grab my hand.

"Hm?"
he asked, as he looked at me.

"There's something I want to do."
I said, hoping he wouldn't freak out.

"What is it?"
he asked, confused.

I placed my hand in his neck, stood on my toes and kissed
him, gently but firm.

There were butterflies in my stomach, they were
flying everywhere and I'd stopped breathing for a moment.

Slowly but surely, I removed my lips from his and got back
on my feet again.

"That was it."
I said, with a shy smile.
"I probably shouldn't have but.."
I started but Sebastian had grabbed my face in his
hands, gently and kissed me, again.

One hand in my neck, the other on my cheek, I was
completely lost at the amazing kiss. He was gentle and
sweet but there was a sort of urgency to it.

"You beat me to it."
he mumbled, softly after we'd released each other.

I chuckled.
"I'm sorry. I couldn't wait anymore."
I said and looked up at him.
"We should get back home. Have some dinner and
watch a movie or something."

"That sounds great."
Sebastian said before grabbing my hand and leading
me down the path again.

When we arrived home, I ordered take out and the
minute I'd hung up and turned around, Sebastian's lips
were on mine in a heated kiss.

He pressed me against the wall, gently as not to hurt
me and I wrapped my arms around his neck and shoulders
before he lifted my legs up. I wrapped my legs around his
waist and let out a soft moan.

We'd been in that position for a while before I broke away.
"I need to breathe. Shit."
I said, as I stared Sebastian dead in the eyes.
"Where is this coming from, anyway?"
I asked as I kissed his lips briefly.

"I've wanted to kiss you ever since you fell asleep next
to me in that room in London."
he admitted, while kissing me again, also briefly.

"I know, right. Me, too."
I said and pulld his shirt up so my hands were on his bare
back before kissing him again for a few seconds.

When the doorbell rang, I groaned.
Sebastian leaned his head on my shoulder, panting, also.

"We could skip dinner."
I said.

Sebastian looked up.
"I'm kinda hungry, though."

I laughed and he allowed me to drop my legs to the floor
and then released me.
"Have a seat, I'll be right there."

I greeted the pizza delivery guy and handed him a tip
before walking towards the livingroom with the pizza.

We ate in silence and I enjoyed the day thoroughly, even though
I didn't really know where this would lead us.

The movie went out the door, though. When our pizza was
done, we decided to get his stuff from the hotel and
then we had to drive back and we got some icecream while
we were on the way, too.

When we arrived at my house again, it was around 10:30 and
I didn't feel like watching a movie anymore.

"I'm pretty tired from the day, actually. And I need a shower.
You can watch something on tv, if you want."
I said before he'd made himself comfortable.

"Sure, I'll see you in a bit."
he said, with a smirk.

"Why do I have the feeling that I have to lock the door
to the bathroom?"
I asked, as I walked off.

"Because I might walk in accidentally, I don't know
which one of your rooms is the bathroom!"
he yelled and I laughed.

"It's the locked one!"
I yelled back.

I heard him laugh as well, before I grabbed the things I needed
and locked the door behind me, just in case.

I didn't have to worry of course, he was still in the same
spot when I came back down.
"Seriously? I left the door unlocked, hoping you would
come up but no, you're too busy watching a movie."

Sebastian chuckled.
"You're so full of shit."

"Thank you."
I said and sat down next to him.

We watched some more of the movie before I declared that
I was too tired to stay up any longer.

"Yeah, I should probably go to bed, too."
Sebastian said, with a big yawn.
"I heard my room was double booked, though.
So I have nowhere to sleep."

I looked at him and he smiled, looking back at me.
"Unless someone is nice enough to share a room with
me, of course."

"Well, I'd be happy to share a room with you.
I mean, if the spare room is double booked, where would
you go?"
I asked, while standing up and putting out all the lights.

"I don't know. I just don't have a clue."
he responded, before grabbing my waist from behind in
the dark.

"I was only joking, Stella. You know that, right?"
Sebastian had whispered in my ear and I had to stop my knees
from buckling at the feel of his lips close to my ear
and his breath in my neck.

"I know. But I wasn't."
I said and grabbed his hand, leading him up the stairs.

When we arrived at my room and he was inside, I pushed him
against the door, hard and pressed my lips against him.
I didn't care that this could be the end of our friendship, I needed
to have him. I needed to be intimate with him, he was everything
I wanted at that point.

He didn't seem to mind, eagerly kissing me back with as much
force as he could without hurting me. I grabbed his shirt and pulled it
over his head, breaking the kiss for a few seconds but connecting our
lips as soon as we could. My hands roamed his body, that was his
own again, not as big muscled as he had been as the Winter Soldier.

He lifted me up and carried me over to the bed, dropping me on
there without breaking the kiss and crawling ontop of me, tugging
at my tanktop.

"Do it. Don't hesitate, do it. I want this. I want you."
I said, inbetween kisses and I didn't have to tell him twice.

----------

The following morning, I woke up and felt someone's breath
on my shoulder.
I turned around and saw Sebastian laying there, his gaze on
me.

"Goodmorning."
I said with a big smile.

"Goodmorning, beautiful."
he said and kissed my bare shoulder before wrapping an arm
on my very naked waist. I felt comfortable about it, though.
I felt comfortable about everything when I was with Sebastian.

"The sun is shining way too bright already. What time is it?"
I asked as I tried to find my phone.

"It's somewhere around noon, I think."
Sebastian said, with a small smile.

"Noon?!"
I asked, in shock.
"I haven't slept this long in ages."

"Well, we only had about 9 hours of sleep, when you
really think about it."
he said with a satisfied smile.

I felt a blush on my cheek.
"I suppose you're right."

He remained silent and when I looked at him,
I couldn't help but chuckle.
"Let's get some breakfast."

I put on my discarded clothes and walked downstairs, opening
the curtains and my backdoor so we could sit in the backyard.

I got some yoghurt with fresh fruits and told Sebastian to look
for something he wanted, if he wanted breakfast as well.
He eventually chose the same breakfast as me.

When we sat down in the backyard, I stretched myself out.
"God, I'm sore."

Sebastian almost choked in his food and I laughed.
"I meant my muscles!"

He buried his face in his hands and I gently shoved his feet
with mine.
"With the hike and last night, my muscles are sore.
Maybe I should've said that."
I chuckled.
"Your face, though."

"Yeah, thanks. It's not everyday you hear someone
say that even if you meant your muscles. God."
he said, shaking his head.

We ate in silence for a while and I could hear the birds and
smiled to myself.

"So when do you have that premiere again? Sometime next
week, right?"
Sebastian asked, sitting back and stretching himself.
He stood up and walked over to the kitchen to place the
bowls in the sink.

"Next thursday. It's a small movie though, so I don't think alot
of people will be there. But I love it."
I replied with a big smile as I followed him.
"I have to get in an uncomfortable dress again, though.
And those heels. I swear they'll be the death of me."

"Do I need to wear a tux?"
he asked.

I frowned in confusion and leaned against the fridge.
"A tux? Where?"

"To the premiere, obviously."
he replied, with a certain look on his face.

"Are you coming?"
I asked, still frowning.

"Well, if you want me to. I mean, I don't have to go if
you don't want me there."
he mumbled, a little sad and leaning against the counter.

Then my brain caught up and I smiled.
"You mean you'll really come? Really?!"

"Of course. You mean a whole lot to me, Stella. And if
this movie means alot to you, I want to be there to support
you. I told you I'd be here if you needed help through red
carpets."
he said, turning his body towards me
and taking my hands in his.

"But I thought that was just for Captain America?"
I asked, not able to hide the smile.

"I didn't mean just that movie. I meant all movies.
And after the past 24 hours I'm even more sure that I want to
be there for you and support you in everything that you do. Unless
you don't want me to, like I said before."
he explained.

"Is this your way of making things official between us?"
I asked, a little nervous, hoping I wouldn't interpret wrong.

"Yeah, it is. I mean, I know we've only really started to.."
he said but I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my
lips against his.

"I want this to be official. I want to be with you every day like
we were yesterday and how we are now."
I softly said as I stared into his eyes.
"I want to be yours."

"Consider it done."
he said with a smile before kissing my forehead.

"You don't have to wear a tux if you don't want to."
I said while looking up at him.

"Somehow I hear a 'but' coming."
Sebastian replied, while moving some hair away from
my eyes.

"Men in suits are really, really sexy. Just so you know."
I answered him, with a big smile.
"But do whatever you want."

"I feel like I haven't got a choice. Not really."
he replied as he grabbed my hand and led me out to my backyard.

"Of course you're given a choice. I'm just saying what I think
looks good on men. You look pretty damn hot in a suit,
Stan."
I said and sat down next to him when he sat down on
the grass.

"Why, thank you."
he murmered before lying down on the grass and taking
me with him.
"You look pretty good in those uncomfortable dresses,
as well."

"Aw, shit."
I said and chuckled at his expression.
"But thanks for the compliment."

We remained silent for a while before Sebastian spoke up.
"Hey, Stella?"

"Yes, love?"
I asked, my eyes closed, taking in the wamth of the sun.

"Are you sure you want me there? At the premiere?"
he asked, a little uncertain.

I opened one eye and saw his face scrunched up with
worry.

I crawled on top of him and placed my hands on the ground,
next to his head to support my torso so I could look at him.

"You, Sebastian Stan, have just asked me to be yours
officially. I told you that I wanted to be yours. I meant it.
I don't care what everyone else will say or think about us.
I've been falling for you more and more, since that evening
in London. You've shown me that you care, even though I
was here and you were in New York. You're always worrying
about me, asking me how I am. You're making me laugh, you
make me feel special. I want to be yours. I want to be able to
scream out that I am your girlfriend and that I belong to you. Just.
You. I want you on this premiere and the next. And the one after
that. As long as you'll want me, I'll belong to you."
I replied, while still holding myself up.

"You seem sure about it."
he said, with a smile.

"I am. I've been falling in love with you ever since you walked out
of that shower in London with your hair all messy. Talking to you
on the phone was the highlight of my day. You've made me happy
even though we were so far apart. You've made me even happier
by coming here to just hang out all day. And last night.. Last night
was amazing. I want this to be my life from now on. I want you in my
life, more than anything. I don't care if people think it's fast. I care
about you and I. The rest is all background noise."
I replied, as I placed my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat.

"You think people will say it's fast?"
he asked, while gently caressing my hair.

"They'll say everything about us, won't they? They'll talk about our
ages first and before you know it I'm pregnant with your baby
and you've left me for someone else while we were about
to get married."
I said with a chuckle before looking up and leaning my head on his
chest while looking at him.
"What I mean is that they'll write stuff about us and we just
have to ignore it. If we can manage to do that, we'll be just fine."

Sebastian looked down at me, one hand under his head and the
other on my cheek.
"I really had no idea you already felt this way about me."

"I didn't, either. I knew I liked you and thought you were the most
awesome man, ever. But when I saw you on my doorstep yesterday
and then when we were up on that mountain, I knew. And I'm not a very
patient person so I couldn't make myself wait any longer."
I replied, with a shrug.
"You're a great guy. I'm surprised you didn't find yourself a steady
girlfriend yet. Not that I'm complaining, of course."

"But I have found her, now."
he replied while sitting up and kissing my lips gently.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him.
"You're sweet."

"No, you are. All those things you've just told me..
No one has ever been so sure about being in a relationship
with me and now here you are. Why haven't I met you sooner?"
he asked, as he broke the hug and looked me in the eyes.

"I'm here, now."
I said with a small smile.
"I've never been more sure about anything. Sometimes you just know."

Need less to say that the week leading up to the premiere, we were
together all the time. We hiked, we stayed in, we enjoyed
each others company and we started to really know each other.

The day of the premiere, I was pretty nervous but when I came
down the stairs after I had my make up done, I saw him.

"You're in a tux."
I said, with a smile.

He was in an all black tux and the only thing in a different
color was his snow white tie.

"And you're in an uncomfortable dress."
he said as he grabbed my hand and kissed it.
"You look beautiful."

I blushed at his compliment.
"Thank you."

"So. Are you ready to go face everyone?"
he asked, looking at me.
"Don't be nervous. I'm here."

"I know."
I said and pecked his lips lightly, not wanting to smear
lipgloss on his lips or face.

He helped me to the car and got in last.
We drove off to the theater and I saw the red carpet, the flashes
and the actors also having a part in the movie. No big actors, it was
a low budget movie but it was something I'd poured my heart
and soul in.

"Ready for the flashes, yells and interviews?"
Sebastian asked with his hand on the doorhandle.

"As ready as I'll ever be."
I said with a nervous smile.

"You'll do great."
he replied with a kiss on my cheek.
"Here we go."

The door opened and a storm of noise entered the car.
I heard everyone's names being called for pictures
and I was helped out of the car by Sebastian.

He held my hand is his, intertwining our hands.
We walked up the red carpet and posed for pictures,
first.

Sebastian placed his hand around my waist and
I wrapped mine around his back, as well.
We both smiled at the camera and I tried to look everywhere
my name was called.

"Relax, sweetie. Try to have fun, too."
Sebastian whispered in my ear, feeling the tension
that was everywhere around me.

I looked sideways at him and saw a sparkle in his eyes.

"You look beautiful, you're doing great. Enjoy this.
You'll be mad at yourself afterwards if you don't enjoy it."
he said before pressing his lips against mine.

I forgot the calling of the names, I forgot about all the
flashes going off as he kissed me and I felt the tension leave
my body, immediatly.

When he broke away I smiled at him.
"Thank you for being here with me."

"Always."
he mumbled as he looked me dead in the eyes.
The sincerity in his eyes brought a lump in my throat.

I took a deep breath, nodded and faced the camera's again.
Trying to enjoy myself worked better now that Sebastian
had releaved me from my tension.

When it came to the interviews, of course, people wanted to
know about the movie but also about Sebastian and I.

"So, I saw you two stealing a kiss just now. Can we confirm that
you two are more than friends?"
the woman asked.

"Yeah, we are. It's all pretty early in the stage of our
relationship but we're pretty certain about our feelings
for each other."
I answered as I felt a light squeeze in my hand from
Sebastian.

"Sebastian, you look very handsome in your suit as well!
I was just wondering if you were together when The Winter
Soldier came out, when you did all that press together?"
she asked, now placing the mic in front of Sebastian.

"No, it's really pretty recently, we were good friends before
but it emerged into something else and we're both pretty
content the way we are now, I mean, look at her. She's beautiful,
isn't she?"
he replied with a small smirk.

I wanted to 'aww' out loud but could only grin at him.
The rest of the red carpet went pretty similar, I was thankful
for all the people sticking to the movie instead of my personal
life but I knew that that would come, no matter how hard I tried to
stay off that subject.

The rest of the day was a blur, all I could do was smile like
an idiot when they asked me anything and when I looked at
Sebastian, my smile was about to burst.

He was handeling everything so well and he was just so
patient and calm with me when I almost lost my cool
at all the attention. He reassured me that he wasn't going
anywhere and that he would be there until I got bored of him.

When we arrived home after a grueling but fun, eventful day,
I fell down on the couch and pulled off my heels.

"Home. The place where I can mutilate my heels if I want
to."
I said, as I rubbed my feet and watched Sebastian walked in.
"Hello, handsome devil, you."

He chuckled and sat down next to me and kissed my head.
"You were great."

"Oh, please. I was a complete cry baby, it's embarassing.
I can't believe you managed to stick with me for an entire
day. I promise I'll be more fun tomorrow."
I said and opened the zipper of my dress.
"I can breathe again!"

"I don't care if you were a cry baby or a super woman
today. I love you so therefore I stick with you through
everything."
he said as he kissed my exposed back.

I turned around and looked at him.
"You love me?"

He looked at me and smiled.
"Yeah, of course I do. I've been falling in love with you
more and more everyday. I love you."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him,
hard.
"I love you, too."
I mumbled, inbetween kisses.

Then a thought occured to me.
"You sure, though? I mean, we've only been officially
together for a week and a half."

"Someone once told me, sometimes you just know. And I do.
You're mine and I want everyone to know you are. I want to tell
you that I love you because I know for certain that this, what we have,
is love. And if it isn't, then I don't know what is."
he said, before kissing my forehead.

"She sounds like a smart girl."
I whispered, as I felt another lump in my throat at his words.
"You keep on amazing me, Stan. I don't know how
you do it."

I kissed him gently, a few times before I hugged him.
"Thank you for being with me, today. You really helped me
out."
I broke the hug and smiled at him.

"I'm with you until the end of the line."
he said, with a smile.

I chuckled.
"I didn't expect anything else."
I kissed him again, knowing that this was love.

This was how it was supposed to be and how it was
meant to be between two people.
I couldn't wait for our future to begin and to see where
our love would take us.