Change Isn't Always Bad

I've memorized the hallways so I don't have to look up when I walk to class.

I've memorized everyone's shoe so I know who to avoid.

I pretend to look over my tests until others get up so I'm not the first to get up.

I haven't looked any of my teachers in the eye at all this year.

I don't know what the remodeled bathrooms look like because I don't want to draw attention to myself asking to use them.

I have social anxiety.

-

"So, that was your step-dad, right?" Vic asked. We were laying down on my bed the next morning. We haven't really talked about that night when he met my mom's boyfriend.

"Just my mom's new boyfriend. He'll be gone by next week. Why?"

"Well.. I wanna meet your real dad."

"What?"

"I mean, why haven't I yet? Like, is he homophobic?"

"I don't know."

"How do you not know?"

"I never asked him."

"I really wanna meet him, Kels, please."

He sighed. "Fine. Give me your car keys."

"Kel, I can drive-"

"Just give me the fucking keys!"

"We don't have to go right now!" He said, trying to calm me down. "Shouldn't we set this up instead of just barging in, anyway?"

"He won't care. Let's go."

-

"Here he is." I said, stopping in front of his grave. Vic looked at me and bit his lip, then looked at the stone slab.

He's been dead for a while now; I never really got to know him, and I honestly didn't want to. This family is messed up enough with just my mom and I; we don't need another person to add to that.

Vic sat down criss-cross. He took my hand and pulled me down with him.

"Hello Mr. Bostwick. I just wanted to say thank you for being a part of the production of creating my Kellin. If it wasn't for you, he wouldn't be here right now, and I can't imagine my life without him. I'd like to think you approve of me, because I really love your son, and I'd like to marry him some day. Of course, with your blessing. I'm sure if you were here right now, you'd love him as much as I do." He said, looking back and forth from the stone and me. I smiled and looked away. He's too fucking perfect, it's not fair.

"Well, we have to go, we have homework and I promise to keep him on top of his schoolwork. So, bye. See you soon."

-

"You're a bitch!" I scream at Jenn.

"You're a mistake!" She screams back.

"I know!"

-

"So how'd you two even get together?" Jaime asked. And, Vic, being a little drunk, decided to modify the story a little.

"Well, he was all like 'Oh Vicceh, I can't nowt have your sexeh booteh anymore' and I was like "Mmmmhm gurlll you know you want all dis'." He said, moving his hands down his chest for effect. Jaime and Mike laughed their asses off but I just smiled and shook my head.

"That's not how I remember it." I laughed.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, it was more like you wouldn't stop coming onto me and I finally caved in." I smiled. He wrapped my arm around his shoulder.

"Well I'm glad it worked," He said and kissed my cheek.

"So do I," I kissed his lips and he smiled before kissing back.

"Alright, before I puke," Mike said. Vic laughed and I pulled away.

"Truth or dare anyone?" Jaime asked. "Gay guy first." he pointed to Vic.

"Oh okay, uh, Mike, truth or dare?"

"Your dares are the worst, so truth." he said.

"Hmmm....Who was the person you last had sex with?"

"Uh, I don't know, Alex, I think?." he shrugged.

"Alex?! You fucking slept with Alex?!" Jaime asked. "She's fucking hot, dude. Nice."

"Right? Anyway, uhh, Kellin, truth or dare?" Mike asked, smirking.

"Dare."

"I dare you to give Vic a lap dance, right here, right now, in front of everyone."

So I did.

The next ten minutes were full of my hips moving on Vic's lap, Vic trying to not get a boner, and cat calls from the rest of the guys.

When I was finished, the guys looked impressed. Vic glared at Mike.

"I hate you." He groaned. "Just for that I'm gonna make sure Kellin screams tonight."

Mike shrugged. "Fine by me."

"You know, for an asshole, you're fuckin' hot." J said.

"Thanks."

"No problem, princess."

"Okay, Jaime, truth or dare?"

-

"What?" Asked J.

"What?" Mike repeated.

"What?" Jaime joined in.

"I said what, what, in the butt?" Vic sang.

"Kellin's dick," They said together.

"Hey, I top!" Vic smiled and looked at me. I sat with my mouth open.

"Hey," Jaime grabbed my chin and shut my mouth. "Don't get Vic too excited. At least not in front of us."

"Dude!" I laughed. They all started to laugh, too. Not Vic, though. Vic just smiled at me, eventually leaning in and kissing me. His lips were so soft and perfect. I put my hand in his.

"Ooooooooooohh!" Mike said. "Kellin and Vic, sittin' in a tree, M-A-K-I-N-G O-U-T. First comes love, then comes sex, then comes the schools freaking out about you guys." He sang out of tune.

"Dude!" I repeated.

"So, how far have you guys gotten?" Jaime asked.

"What?"

"have you had sex yet?" He laughed.

"Well, for your information, yes. We have." I lied. He narrowed his eyes and looked at me.

"You sit on a throne of lies." He said. "You're still a virgin."

"I can change that!" Vic interrupted.

"Woah, okay, this whole thing just got awkward." I said, widening my eyes.

"Why are you so damn cute?" asked Vic.

"I'm not cute." I snapped. "I'm manly as fuck." He smiled and kissed my cheek.

"Okay, so there's the love. Next up is sex. Don't do that here."