‹ Prequel: Gensokyo 20XX: Rise of Earth
Gensokyo 20XXIV: At Winter's Mercy and the World Without Sunshine
Part III
Yukari was in tears, today. She was looking out of the window, sniffling, before turning to me and asking, "Isn't it heartbreaking, Chen, is it?" I didn't really know what she was talking about and I was trying to make sense of what she was asking. As I was trying to make sense of what she's asked, I felt her hand petting my head. In feeling her gentle hand, I closed my eyes and then I remembered when our hearts were broken when she had gone insane. It wasn't her own fault but she had gone insane, just like Ran had, only, and, it seems, she could feel our heartache for her. History repeated itself and, now Ran herself has gone insane. Her heart was broken, just like mine was when she had lost her sanity. Ran had gone insane and we don't know how to help her and we still don't. As I she petted my head, she lightly stroked my head and said, "I'm sorry, Chen, I'm so sorry." She gathered me into her arms, apologizing for something I knew not what.
I guess she was apologizing for not sheilding me and protecting us from what happened. She wanted nothing more than to protect us but couldn't. She was trying to wrap her head around what was going on and it seems she had. After holding me in her arms, she took my hand and said, "Let's go for a walk, sweetheart." We walked for awhile and she, in her shaky voice, was telling me what was going on. Before we got home, I was in tears. She told me evertything and told me Ran was sick because someone tried to hurt her. She told me she was sorry, again. She lifted me off of the ground and we went home.
That night, I felt a familiar presence stroking my hair as a I started to fall asleep. I wonder who it was.
***
"Big sister, where's Yukari?"
"She left to get more food."
***
Recently, Yukari left again to gather more food and, once again, we really had no real recollection on how long she'll be gone. We had a decent amount of food, so I couldn't peice together why it would be that she'd leave yet again. Of course, she left to gather more food so it won't run out. Naturally, we hate it when Yukari leaves because she's always gone for so long and then things start to fall apart. However, she has to leave because she is really the only capable of travelling around and finding adequate resources and is able to do well doing so.
She's been gone about a few days, so far and some of us will have to go without food, then again we usually have one meal a day anyway. Of course, food was not on our minds, Ran's mental state was. To worsen the problem, I could hear her suicidal thoughts and her sorrows. She isn't well and, as far as we knew, she may relapse back into her even worse mental state. She seems to have woken up a bit but we know not to leave her alone with Reimu. Reimu has no sense of danger but, then again, she trusts Ran, so she will not have suspected thing and has no reason not to, well, not in her mind. So far, Ran hasn't attempted to take Reimu's life and her own again but it is still out there. Ran's fiance has been trying to get her back to the way she was, all while trying to take care of the survivor of Ran's litter, their baby, and look after Maribel, Reimu, Chen, and Renko, also Shimmy. Both are difficult as neither of them can really take care of themselves. Chen could take care of herself, however, even more so since she's regained her sight. Of course, she is still a child and being forced aside is going to do a number on her. She's always been forced to step aside, always, and I worry that she feels she isn't getting much attention. I search through the deepest recesses of her mind and I hear how sad she feels.
In hearing her thoughts, I feel her pain to such a heavy extent that my wrist start to bleed, like hers did when she cut her wrists in an attempt to gain Ran's attention. It seems, I am physically tied the others. The more the others are in pain, the more I feel it and the more ailed I become. I'm in just as much agony and I curse these mind reading thoughts.
I feel my heart shattering, the pain....the pain is just too....great....
***
"Yukari's home."
***
Yukari eventually came home, although, I wish she had taken her with me. I was happy to see her again, with a new bundle of food and a bag of rats, meaning ratburgers. She restocked our food supply and petted me on the head, before pulling out a ball of yarn and her knitting needles. I couldn't help but to wonder what she knitting and I sat there watching. She was finishing something but I didn't know what. She kept at knitting for an hour before her ball of yarn was gone and she showed me what she knitting. It was a shawl and she promptly draped it around me. She gathered me into her arms, saying, "There, there, Chen, I've missed...you." Being held in her arms made me happy again. I'll never figure out why she didn't bring me with her but this...feels...nice. A gentle and loving embrace was something I've missed. I sure hope Yukari will cradle me in her arms....
....forever.
***
"Reimu, it seems, is a very talkative one."
"Yep, the problem with that is that she's started the dreaded 'Why?' thing."
***
Reimu has been making progress, growing her vocabulary and makes the most progress when she engages in conversation. From what I can see, she can talk all day long, articulating her speech into more than utterances. She's strung together a sentence that was longer than three words and that was, "I no want sleep, I want stay up late!" It was interesting to see her argue what she wanted at the time. She continued arguing, saying just that sentence, until Winston relented, after which, Reimu fell asleep. The dear just wanted to say what she wanted to. While talkative, she doesn't talk much, except for whenever she thinks the time may be and that is mostly when she is with someone to whom she wishes to speak with. As of late, she's started to ask "Why?" all of the time. Frankly, I don't mind, as little children are prone to this, well, the little children I've encountered, anyway.
However, Reimu decided to articulate her thoughts when she felt it would be of the most importance. We didn't know when that would indeed moment come but it came a good time. Ran was going to try her hand at suicide again and Reimu was sleeping downstairs with Yukari that evening. It seems the cold air from one the doors being opened had awakened her. When she had spotted Ran going outside with the kitchen knife, she shouted "Ran, STOP!" It awakened us all and we all hurried down to Yukari's room and spotted a stunned Ran. She just stood there, her face as white as death, just shocked. The little dear couldn't have possibly known that Ran was attempting suicide but seemed to grasp our worry and was showing upset. Time, it seems, had frozen, like the water to ice. We were all shocked that she was even at it again. It was silent for a bit before she dropped the knife to the ground. It clattered but we were afraid to utter nary a word.
Slowly, she turned to Reimu, who had tears streaming down her face. Her lip was trembling and she was at a lost for words before she, her lip trembling more and in a voice said, "I'm sorry." She was immediately in tears, the poor thing. She sank to her knees and begged for forgiveness. She had no reason to apologize, as she's done no wrong, not anything to warrant some sort of apology to. She was at it for about a few hours Sighing heavily, Yukari got out of bed and walked over to her. She wrapped her arms around her, saying, "Ran, sweetheart, come back to us, wake up."
Since then, it seems, she was finally starting to come back to us.
***
"So, how's Ran doin', Ren?"
"She's starting to come back to us."
I guess she was apologizing for not sheilding me and protecting us from what happened. She wanted nothing more than to protect us but couldn't. She was trying to wrap her head around what was going on and it seems she had. After holding me in her arms, she took my hand and said, "Let's go for a walk, sweetheart." We walked for awhile and she, in her shaky voice, was telling me what was going on. Before we got home, I was in tears. She told me evertything and told me Ran was sick because someone tried to hurt her. She told me she was sorry, again. She lifted me off of the ground and we went home.
That night, I felt a familiar presence stroking my hair as a I started to fall asleep. I wonder who it was.
***
"Big sister, where's Yukari?"
"She left to get more food."
***
Recently, Yukari left again to gather more food and, once again, we really had no real recollection on how long she'll be gone. We had a decent amount of food, so I couldn't peice together why it would be that she'd leave yet again. Of course, she left to gather more food so it won't run out. Naturally, we hate it when Yukari leaves because she's always gone for so long and then things start to fall apart. However, she has to leave because she is really the only capable of travelling around and finding adequate resources and is able to do well doing so.
She's been gone about a few days, so far and some of us will have to go without food, then again we usually have one meal a day anyway. Of course, food was not on our minds, Ran's mental state was. To worsen the problem, I could hear her suicidal thoughts and her sorrows. She isn't well and, as far as we knew, she may relapse back into her even worse mental state. She seems to have woken up a bit but we know not to leave her alone with Reimu. Reimu has no sense of danger but, then again, she trusts Ran, so she will not have suspected thing and has no reason not to, well, not in her mind. So far, Ran hasn't attempted to take Reimu's life and her own again but it is still out there. Ran's fiance has been trying to get her back to the way she was, all while trying to take care of the survivor of Ran's litter, their baby, and look after Maribel, Reimu, Chen, and Renko, also Shimmy. Both are difficult as neither of them can really take care of themselves. Chen could take care of herself, however, even more so since she's regained her sight. Of course, she is still a child and being forced aside is going to do a number on her. She's always been forced to step aside, always, and I worry that she feels she isn't getting much attention. I search through the deepest recesses of her mind and I hear how sad she feels.
In hearing her thoughts, I feel her pain to such a heavy extent that my wrist start to bleed, like hers did when she cut her wrists in an attempt to gain Ran's attention. It seems, I am physically tied the others. The more the others are in pain, the more I feel it and the more ailed I become. I'm in just as much agony and I curse these mind reading thoughts.
I feel my heart shattering, the pain....the pain is just too....great....
***
"Yukari's home."
***
Yukari eventually came home, although, I wish she had taken her with me. I was happy to see her again, with a new bundle of food and a bag of rats, meaning ratburgers. She restocked our food supply and petted me on the head, before pulling out a ball of yarn and her knitting needles. I couldn't help but to wonder what she knitting and I sat there watching. She was finishing something but I didn't know what. She kept at knitting for an hour before her ball of yarn was gone and she showed me what she knitting. It was a shawl and she promptly draped it around me. She gathered me into her arms, saying, "There, there, Chen, I've missed...you." Being held in her arms made me happy again. I'll never figure out why she didn't bring me with her but this...feels...nice. A gentle and loving embrace was something I've missed. I sure hope Yukari will cradle me in her arms....
....forever.
***
"Reimu, it seems, is a very talkative one."
"Yep, the problem with that is that she's started the dreaded 'Why?' thing."
***
Reimu has been making progress, growing her vocabulary and makes the most progress when she engages in conversation. From what I can see, she can talk all day long, articulating her speech into more than utterances. She's strung together a sentence that was longer than three words and that was, "I no want sleep, I want stay up late!" It was interesting to see her argue what she wanted at the time. She continued arguing, saying just that sentence, until Winston relented, after which, Reimu fell asleep. The dear just wanted to say what she wanted to. While talkative, she doesn't talk much, except for whenever she thinks the time may be and that is mostly when she is with someone to whom she wishes to speak with. As of late, she's started to ask "Why?" all of the time. Frankly, I don't mind, as little children are prone to this, well, the little children I've encountered, anyway.
However, Reimu decided to articulate her thoughts when she felt it would be of the most importance. We didn't know when that would indeed moment come but it came a good time. Ran was going to try her hand at suicide again and Reimu was sleeping downstairs with Yukari that evening. It seems the cold air from one the doors being opened had awakened her. When she had spotted Ran going outside with the kitchen knife, she shouted "Ran, STOP!" It awakened us all and we all hurried down to Yukari's room and spotted a stunned Ran. She just stood there, her face as white as death, just shocked. The little dear couldn't have possibly known that Ran was attempting suicide but seemed to grasp our worry and was showing upset. Time, it seems, had frozen, like the water to ice. We were all shocked that she was even at it again. It was silent for a bit before she dropped the knife to the ground. It clattered but we were afraid to utter nary a word.
Slowly, she turned to Reimu, who had tears streaming down her face. Her lip was trembling and she was at a lost for words before she, her lip trembling more and in a voice said, "I'm sorry." She was immediately in tears, the poor thing. She sank to her knees and begged for forgiveness. She had no reason to apologize, as she's done no wrong, not anything to warrant some sort of apology to. She was at it for about a few hours Sighing heavily, Yukari got out of bed and walked over to her. She wrapped her arms around her, saying, "Ran, sweetheart, come back to us, wake up."
Since then, it seems, she was finally starting to come back to us.
***
"So, how's Ran doin', Ren?"
"She's starting to come back to us."