‹ Prequel: Gensokyo 20XX: Rise of Earth
Gensokyo 20XXIV: At Winter's Mercy and the World Without Sunshine
Part VI
Naturally, I worry about Mokou and Kaguya and Suika is more or less indifferent but points out that the two could pull pretty foolish moves. Of course, said foolish moves would come out with the adverse effect on us all, hindering our survival. I try not to think about how or what sort of effect it will have, as I have very much to deal with already. If I'm not feeding the children, quieting Yukari of her screaming, or changing diapers, I'm worrying about what lies beyond our house. Honestly, if I had it any other way, then I will have never let Chen out of my sight, thus none of this would have happened. I suppose I could feel guilty for this and we all do, after all, if Chen had someone with her then she wouldn't have been attacked and rendered incontinent and with nerve damage. I wanted to find clues, too, but I didn't know at what cost that could be worth, so I stopped musing on the matter. However, that doesn't make me less afraid if not outright paranoid to go outside.
Of course, we have to go outside to do our business, which makes it a tad worrying for me. To think I could be attacked at any monent as soon as I go outside to do my business is unsettling. However, Chen was attacked when she simply went out to play, which in itself is even more unsettling, as well as the fact that whatever had attacked her was lying in wait, making it rather planned. I don't have to worry about Chen, Wren, and Meary being in danger, though, as Chen cannot even walk and Meary and Wren seemed to have picked up same fears from Chen, only to lesser degree, as they'll go outside but they won't stay outside, but Reimu I worry about greatly because she cannot even sense danger and doesn't seem to be pretty good at learning how to fear, since it isn't innate.
Conditioning her to not fear, to sense danger, was just inhumane in itself but reconditioning her would be just as inhumane, thus we are left really leaving Reimu not to fear anything and I can only hope that nothing disastrous will befall her.
***
"Red snow...."
***
Yukari it seems was going about her mad ramblings again but, this time, they were different. She was repetitively saying, "Red snow...." According to Yuuka, this was out of the ordinary for her and it was troubling. Later on, that night, we heard the screams of Kaguya and Mokou and they ran in the door and slammed it shut. They hurried to our room, pulled out a saratoga trunk, threw almost all of their things in it, Kaguya putting herself in it, and slammed the lid shut. When I asked what was going on, she said, "We gots leave, all of us, 'cause them bastards kitsunes are gonna burn the house the ground and kill you guys and beat the hell out us." My eyes widened and it took some time to wrap my head around what was going on.
"What in bloody hell did you do?!" Yuuka screamed. Mokou took a deep breath and said, "So, anyway, we went to go get justice for Chen but I knew what we was doin' was gonna get us in a whole heap o' trouble there isn't words for but I didn't stop her because I couldn't tell her any different so we went to do it and did it and them kitsune declared war and said they was gonna burn the house down and are comin' here with torches and shit and is really gonna burn the house down to kill you guys and beat the hell out of us and raise hell and some other stuff but that is beside the point and we gotta pack up and leave before they do that and they won't stop until we leaves and gets the hell out of here 'cause a whole lotta shit has hit the fan." She said that all on one breath. Yuuka blinked, calmly walked back to her sleeping place, and started to hastily pack up.
Within about thirty minutes there was a panic and everyone had packed what they could carry and what they wanted. The kitsunes were over horizon and and it was hellish organish glow, lighting up the bluish forever cloudy nighttime sky. Suika punched a hole in the wall and we ran as fast and as far as we really could. Other youkai that weren't even the target fled, too, and for due reason. There really was trouble there weren't words for and we were in for more suffering. As we watched the house burn from a far distance, the winter felt warmer than we were. Yukari gapped us away but I could never forget when our house burned down.
***
"Why'd ya let me do it, Huzi?"
"I didn't want to but I knew couldn't tell ya any different so I went along with it, knowin' it would be better if you learned your mistake. One part about looking after someone you love and care about is letting them learn from their mistakes."
***
We were once again without home and Kaguya dear felt awful. She asked Mokou dear why it is she let her do what she's done, to which she had the answer, "I didn't want to but I knew couldn't tell ya any different so I went along with it, knowin' it would be better if you learned your mistake. One part about looking after someone you love and care about is letting them learn from their mistakes." Kaguya wiped away her tears and agreed. She did make a mistake but she did learn from that mistake.
We continued searching for a home until, ultimately, it brought us to the Okuchichibu Mountains and a cave within them. It was decided we'd make a home here and we proceeded to do so. Somehow, the land around of these particular mountains remained mostly unchanged, aside from deadspots where there craters and where vegetation wasn't present. Our cave was large but cozy, sheltering us from the unforgiving and cold world outside. As we settled, we went about how we were to rebuild.
Rebuild.
***
"Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!"
***
As we were making this cave home, I couldn't help but to notice a strange noise. Of course, that noise was the sound Ran and Ren doing to two-backed beast. When I walked in one them, they didn't seem to be too happy, Ran covering herself asking, "Um, Suika, do you mind?" I left them alone but that wasn't without me laughin'. After walking in on them doing two backed beast, I wandered around, thinking, Oh boy, Fatass will have a field day hearin' what I tell her! As I wandered around the cave, I noticed Reimu pawing at something. She seemed to notice something and was clawing viciously at it. I came over for a closer look and found it was a door, a rusty door. I blinked and opened it, calling the others over, except Ran and Ren, as they were still doing their thing. I punched the door open and behind it was a staircase.
We walked downstairs and found another door. Through that door, we found an underground house, complete with rooms, a bathroom, fireplace and a kitchen. According to Yuuka it had some running water and most of everything was run on batteries or gasoline. The place was dusty, abandoned. It had frozen food and fresh water and some electricity. It also had a hospital room with medicines and junk and a cellar which lead to more rooms. It also had fake windows. Someone wanted to live here. Someone.
Oh, and Ran and Ren finally got finished with the two back beast.
***
"Ducksie, you feel fuller than usual."
"Mmmm."
"You're up in a duff again."
****
Ran is pregnant again and I would think so, on the account of Suika walking in on them making the two backed beast. I suppose they should have held off on doing that but what could we really expect? They're in love and probably just celebrated in that way, in which those are fine. Of course, in doing so, Ran became pregnant again and is now worried that this could prove be rather hindering. Her worries are well-founded in that this is her third pregnancy and that she has lost just about her entire litters from the last one and we have no clue if food is limited in this case and worries on how large that will make our population. Naturally, I didn't know what sort of advice to give her when she came to me with her worries.
Of course, at least society is collapsed as to think of what sort of advice a person could give to an otherwise emotionally fragile Ran would be horrid. However, I do think babies are nice and Ran is unlikely to give birth to a large litter, not without some of them regrettably dying. Ran and Ren are joyfully expectant but, at the same, Ran is worried. She's a dear girl, really, and doesn't want to hinder us or cause harm to anyone she cares about.
On a sadder note, she did wonder what sort of advice Eirin would have given her, stating Eirin was the one who knew very much of these things and would say what to do. Sadly, Eirin passed away so long ago and we wish she did indeed survive but she didn't and had died like all the others. In times like these we need her but, at the same time, we wish we in turn were dead so we wouldn't suffer.
"Mortal life is funny isn't it? I do tend to envy you for being able to die and yet being allowed treasure something and enjoy it while you can."
Eirin, I used to envy you, too, for not being able to die but, as it seems, you envied us for not being able to die and now we envy you because you've died. I suppose mortal life is funny.
***
"How is she?"
"She's fine but I am sad to inform you that Ran only delivered one."
***
Sadly, Ran only delivered one baby in her litter and it was such sadness that even that one may not survive. Of course, Ran had a reason to be worried during her pregnancy and this was a far deeper reason. The reason she was so worried is because, not only did she fear a pregnancy could hinder us or lessen resources, she was worried that she would lose her babies and she lost almost her entire litter save one. One was all she delivered, the other ones were stillbirths, and, in the end, Ran was left in the same state as her baby. Both were sickly. Childbirth took a toll on Ran's health to the point she was ill afterwards for awhile. She got well but her baby's condition remained questionable. Her pain was shared by the rest of us.
Some time passed, her pup's condition seemed to be finally picking up. For once, this pup lifted its head and seemed to somewhat curious about its surroundings but even more so in its mother. Pretty soon, both were healthy and Ran's spirits was uplifted. Life could be getting better after all.
***
"I missed you."
***
Ever since we moved here and due to all the surrounding incidents and things, Reimu seemed to be quiet, until she said something that I found to be odd. I hadn't gone anywhere but she did say what she said and it was three words, "I missed you." It was odd that she said that because I didn't go anywhere but she said it anyway. She blinked her large red eyes and said, "I missed you a lot." Her eyes welt up in tears and she reached for me saying, "I missed you, don't go." I held her in my arms, saying, "There, there, I won't leave you." She seemed genuinely upset but I comforted her nonetheless. Perhaps, she just didn't want anyone to leave her or she didn't want to be alone. At least, those fuckers won't be trying to be rid of her anymore.
***
"Alright, Ducksie, is Yukari alright?"
"Yes, sleeping, same as usual, but she does occaisionally ramble about how she sees dead people."
"You mean Yuyuko dear?"
"No, other dead people."
***
How preposterous! I've never thought Yukari would ramble about seeing the dearly departed but she has. Of course, we all can see Yuyuko, because she is a different sort of ghost, but the others we can't really see, only hear their voices. However, Yukari also isn't right in the head, so those could be deliriums and fever dream, something to those sorts. On the note of thinking about Yukari talking to ghosts, I do find that a tad disturbing to see her engage in chats with something that isn't there. Actually, everyone but Mary, Wren, Yuyuko, and Reimu seemed to be frightened to see her do so. Nevertheless, I still think she is in a state of delirium when she does that, so thinking that does take some of the fright away. On a note, it does make it interesting.
I caught her talking to the dearly departed and I couldn't help but to watch. "Hello again, Marisa." she said, to the space in front of her. The space said nothing. "Yes, Reimu is doing well, thank you for asking." she responded to the silence. After about five or so minutes, she laughed and said, "That's good and I'll to tell Reimu the joke." Apparently, Marisa's ghost was telling her a joke and was asking how Reimu was doing. It seemed to be a fairly casual conversation. If Yukari really was seeing and speaking to ghosts, then they must only show themselves to her.
We never did really see or hear them for ourselves, so it remains unclear if Yukari really is seeing ghosts. Nevertheless, it is interesting.
***
"How long has Reimu had that sewing pin been stuck in her hand?"
***
Reimu didn't seem to notice that she had a pin stuck in her hand. Of course, she wouldn't have noticed, as she was conditioned not to notice pain or injuries. However, the physiological aspect of pain stimuli caused her hand to close up, like it would even if she responded, but she was conditioned not respond otherwise. I picked her up, held her in my arms, and gingerly pulled her the pin from her hand, to which it jerked away. The pin was covered in blood and seemed to have been there for awhile, as well as being stuck in there deeply, meaning she had to have crawled on it with her hand and it closed up but her crawling on it, while her hand was balled into a fist, pushed it deeper.
I treated her wound and bandaged her hand, also making it a task to keep sharp objects off of the ground. If she wasn't going to fear anything, then she may as well know what pain is but it would cruel to recondition her to respond to it, since that sort of instict has been removed from her. For someone who didn't respond to pain, she had a habit of hitting or biting someone. Of course, Tenshi had it coming and other times Reimu seems to reserve for wanting to get attention.
***
"Loser says 'What?'"
"What?"
"Yup, your turn to change Chen's diaper."
***
Since Ran is often so busy and that Chen, due to the attack leaving her incontinent, cannot go to the bathroom, we often take turns changing her diaper and it was originally my turn but, due to the fact that I was almost blind, I tricked Tenshie into doing it. As I had tricked her, I felt awful, wondering if my waning vision was really that awful that I cannot even do a simple task. Slowly, my vision has been weakening, growing more blurry and dim by the passing day. After Tenshi changed her diaper, I did apologize to Chen for shunting my responsibilities to her, to which she responded, "It's alright, I could tell you couldn't do it." At least, Chen was sympathetic.
I feel pain in my chest where my heart is. My heart is breaking. I yearn to tell someone that I cannot see but I do not wish to be pushed aside and I want to be of some use but my vision hinders me.
***
"Is Yukari alright?"
Of course, we have to go outside to do our business, which makes it a tad worrying for me. To think I could be attacked at any monent as soon as I go outside to do my business is unsettling. However, Chen was attacked when she simply went out to play, which in itself is even more unsettling, as well as the fact that whatever had attacked her was lying in wait, making it rather planned. I don't have to worry about Chen, Wren, and Meary being in danger, though, as Chen cannot even walk and Meary and Wren seemed to have picked up same fears from Chen, only to lesser degree, as they'll go outside but they won't stay outside, but Reimu I worry about greatly because she cannot even sense danger and doesn't seem to be pretty good at learning how to fear, since it isn't innate.
Conditioning her to not fear, to sense danger, was just inhumane in itself but reconditioning her would be just as inhumane, thus we are left really leaving Reimu not to fear anything and I can only hope that nothing disastrous will befall her.
***
"Red snow...."
***
Yukari it seems was going about her mad ramblings again but, this time, they were different. She was repetitively saying, "Red snow...." According to Yuuka, this was out of the ordinary for her and it was troubling. Later on, that night, we heard the screams of Kaguya and Mokou and they ran in the door and slammed it shut. They hurried to our room, pulled out a saratoga trunk, threw almost all of their things in it, Kaguya putting herself in it, and slammed the lid shut. When I asked what was going on, she said, "We gots leave, all of us, 'cause them bastards kitsunes are gonna burn the house the ground and kill you guys and beat the hell out us." My eyes widened and it took some time to wrap my head around what was going on.
"What in bloody hell did you do?!" Yuuka screamed. Mokou took a deep breath and said, "So, anyway, we went to go get justice for Chen but I knew what we was doin' was gonna get us in a whole heap o' trouble there isn't words for but I didn't stop her because I couldn't tell her any different so we went to do it and did it and them kitsune declared war and said they was gonna burn the house down and are comin' here with torches and shit and is really gonna burn the house down to kill you guys and beat the hell out of us and raise hell and some other stuff but that is beside the point and we gotta pack up and leave before they do that and they won't stop until we leaves and gets the hell out of here 'cause a whole lotta shit has hit the fan." She said that all on one breath. Yuuka blinked, calmly walked back to her sleeping place, and started to hastily pack up.
Within about thirty minutes there was a panic and everyone had packed what they could carry and what they wanted. The kitsunes were over horizon and and it was hellish organish glow, lighting up the bluish forever cloudy nighttime sky. Suika punched a hole in the wall and we ran as fast and as far as we really could. Other youkai that weren't even the target fled, too, and for due reason. There really was trouble there weren't words for and we were in for more suffering. As we watched the house burn from a far distance, the winter felt warmer than we were. Yukari gapped us away but I could never forget when our house burned down.
***
"Why'd ya let me do it, Huzi?"
"I didn't want to but I knew couldn't tell ya any different so I went along with it, knowin' it would be better if you learned your mistake. One part about looking after someone you love and care about is letting them learn from their mistakes."
***
We were once again without home and Kaguya dear felt awful. She asked Mokou dear why it is she let her do what she's done, to which she had the answer, "I didn't want to but I knew couldn't tell ya any different so I went along with it, knowin' it would be better if you learned your mistake. One part about looking after someone you love and care about is letting them learn from their mistakes." Kaguya wiped away her tears and agreed. She did make a mistake but she did learn from that mistake.
We continued searching for a home until, ultimately, it brought us to the Okuchichibu Mountains and a cave within them. It was decided we'd make a home here and we proceeded to do so. Somehow, the land around of these particular mountains remained mostly unchanged, aside from deadspots where there craters and where vegetation wasn't present. Our cave was large but cozy, sheltering us from the unforgiving and cold world outside. As we settled, we went about how we were to rebuild.
Rebuild.
***
"Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!"
***
As we were making this cave home, I couldn't help but to notice a strange noise. Of course, that noise was the sound Ran and Ren doing to two-backed beast. When I walked in one them, they didn't seem to be too happy, Ran covering herself asking, "Um, Suika, do you mind?" I left them alone but that wasn't without me laughin'. After walking in on them doing two backed beast, I wandered around, thinking, Oh boy, Fatass will have a field day hearin' what I tell her! As I wandered around the cave, I noticed Reimu pawing at something. She seemed to notice something and was clawing viciously at it. I came over for a closer look and found it was a door, a rusty door. I blinked and opened it, calling the others over, except Ran and Ren, as they were still doing their thing. I punched the door open and behind it was a staircase.
We walked downstairs and found another door. Through that door, we found an underground house, complete with rooms, a bathroom, fireplace and a kitchen. According to Yuuka it had some running water and most of everything was run on batteries or gasoline. The place was dusty, abandoned. It had frozen food and fresh water and some electricity. It also had a hospital room with medicines and junk and a cellar which lead to more rooms. It also had fake windows. Someone wanted to live here. Someone.
Oh, and Ran and Ren finally got finished with the two back beast.
***
"Ducksie, you feel fuller than usual."
"Mmmm."
"You're up in a duff again."
****
Ran is pregnant again and I would think so, on the account of Suika walking in on them making the two backed beast. I suppose they should have held off on doing that but what could we really expect? They're in love and probably just celebrated in that way, in which those are fine. Of course, in doing so, Ran became pregnant again and is now worried that this could prove be rather hindering. Her worries are well-founded in that this is her third pregnancy and that she has lost just about her entire litters from the last one and we have no clue if food is limited in this case and worries on how large that will make our population. Naturally, I didn't know what sort of advice to give her when she came to me with her worries.
Of course, at least society is collapsed as to think of what sort of advice a person could give to an otherwise emotionally fragile Ran would be horrid. However, I do think babies are nice and Ran is unlikely to give birth to a large litter, not without some of them regrettably dying. Ran and Ren are joyfully expectant but, at the same, Ran is worried. She's a dear girl, really, and doesn't want to hinder us or cause harm to anyone she cares about.
On a sadder note, she did wonder what sort of advice Eirin would have given her, stating Eirin was the one who knew very much of these things and would say what to do. Sadly, Eirin passed away so long ago and we wish she did indeed survive but she didn't and had died like all the others. In times like these we need her but, at the same time, we wish we in turn were dead so we wouldn't suffer.
"Mortal life is funny isn't it? I do tend to envy you for being able to die and yet being allowed treasure something and enjoy it while you can."
Eirin, I used to envy you, too, for not being able to die but, as it seems, you envied us for not being able to die and now we envy you because you've died. I suppose mortal life is funny.
***
"How is she?"
"She's fine but I am sad to inform you that Ran only delivered one."
***
Sadly, Ran only delivered one baby in her litter and it was such sadness that even that one may not survive. Of course, Ran had a reason to be worried during her pregnancy and this was a far deeper reason. The reason she was so worried is because, not only did she fear a pregnancy could hinder us or lessen resources, she was worried that she would lose her babies and she lost almost her entire litter save one. One was all she delivered, the other ones were stillbirths, and, in the end, Ran was left in the same state as her baby. Both were sickly. Childbirth took a toll on Ran's health to the point she was ill afterwards for awhile. She got well but her baby's condition remained questionable. Her pain was shared by the rest of us.
Some time passed, her pup's condition seemed to be finally picking up. For once, this pup lifted its head and seemed to somewhat curious about its surroundings but even more so in its mother. Pretty soon, both were healthy and Ran's spirits was uplifted. Life could be getting better after all.
***
"I missed you."
***
Ever since we moved here and due to all the surrounding incidents and things, Reimu seemed to be quiet, until she said something that I found to be odd. I hadn't gone anywhere but she did say what she said and it was three words, "I missed you." It was odd that she said that because I didn't go anywhere but she said it anyway. She blinked her large red eyes and said, "I missed you a lot." Her eyes welt up in tears and she reached for me saying, "I missed you, don't go." I held her in my arms, saying, "There, there, I won't leave you." She seemed genuinely upset but I comforted her nonetheless. Perhaps, she just didn't want anyone to leave her or she didn't want to be alone. At least, those fuckers won't be trying to be rid of her anymore.
***
"Alright, Ducksie, is Yukari alright?"
"Yes, sleeping, same as usual, but she does occaisionally ramble about how she sees dead people."
"You mean Yuyuko dear?"
"No, other dead people."
***
How preposterous! I've never thought Yukari would ramble about seeing the dearly departed but she has. Of course, we all can see Yuyuko, because she is a different sort of ghost, but the others we can't really see, only hear their voices. However, Yukari also isn't right in the head, so those could be deliriums and fever dream, something to those sorts. On the note of thinking about Yukari talking to ghosts, I do find that a tad disturbing to see her engage in chats with something that isn't there. Actually, everyone but Mary, Wren, Yuyuko, and Reimu seemed to be frightened to see her do so. Nevertheless, I still think she is in a state of delirium when she does that, so thinking that does take some of the fright away. On a note, it does make it interesting.
I caught her talking to the dearly departed and I couldn't help but to watch. "Hello again, Marisa." she said, to the space in front of her. The space said nothing. "Yes, Reimu is doing well, thank you for asking." she responded to the silence. After about five or so minutes, she laughed and said, "That's good and I'll to tell Reimu the joke." Apparently, Marisa's ghost was telling her a joke and was asking how Reimu was doing. It seemed to be a fairly casual conversation. If Yukari really was seeing and speaking to ghosts, then they must only show themselves to her.
We never did really see or hear them for ourselves, so it remains unclear if Yukari really is seeing ghosts. Nevertheless, it is interesting.
***
"How long has Reimu had that sewing pin been stuck in her hand?"
***
Reimu didn't seem to notice that she had a pin stuck in her hand. Of course, she wouldn't have noticed, as she was conditioned not to notice pain or injuries. However, the physiological aspect of pain stimuli caused her hand to close up, like it would even if she responded, but she was conditioned not respond otherwise. I picked her up, held her in my arms, and gingerly pulled her the pin from her hand, to which it jerked away. The pin was covered in blood and seemed to have been there for awhile, as well as being stuck in there deeply, meaning she had to have crawled on it with her hand and it closed up but her crawling on it, while her hand was balled into a fist, pushed it deeper.
I treated her wound and bandaged her hand, also making it a task to keep sharp objects off of the ground. If she wasn't going to fear anything, then she may as well know what pain is but it would cruel to recondition her to respond to it, since that sort of instict has been removed from her. For someone who didn't respond to pain, she had a habit of hitting or biting someone. Of course, Tenshi had it coming and other times Reimu seems to reserve for wanting to get attention.
***
"Loser says 'What?'"
"What?"
"Yup, your turn to change Chen's diaper."
***
Since Ran is often so busy and that Chen, due to the attack leaving her incontinent, cannot go to the bathroom, we often take turns changing her diaper and it was originally my turn but, due to the fact that I was almost blind, I tricked Tenshie into doing it. As I had tricked her, I felt awful, wondering if my waning vision was really that awful that I cannot even do a simple task. Slowly, my vision has been weakening, growing more blurry and dim by the passing day. After Tenshi changed her diaper, I did apologize to Chen for shunting my responsibilities to her, to which she responded, "It's alright, I could tell you couldn't do it." At least, Chen was sympathetic.
I feel pain in my chest where my heart is. My heart is breaking. I yearn to tell someone that I cannot see but I do not wish to be pushed aside and I want to be of some use but my vision hinders me.
***
"Is Yukari alright?"