Status: Yes, I'm using code names for myself and my teachers. That's what all writers do.. right?

Teacher Diaries

Ms. (Mama) Matthews

Mama Matthews,

You were my favorite teacher junior year. But we went through a lot.
At the beginning of the year, we hit it off. We related to each other and had a lot in common. Since we had a small class, I got to know you on a personal level... But I guess it became too personal.
I added your son on FB, and he and I instantly hit it off. The next day, you told me how excited he was to talk to such a pretty girl like me, and that you thought I'd be good for him.
So, we dated. And I fell in love with him. When you're in love, you do crazy things... Especially when you're a teenager. We had sex. And it was a new place for me... I thought I could trust everyone at the school, but I was wrong. I was just trying to make friends and be social... so I told a couple of people. My mistake. It got out, and you found out.... Resulting in you forcing your son to end it with me. Might I add that this was the day before my birthday. I went home that night. I left the dorm. The next day, neither of us showed up at school. Well, you did... for part of the day. Then you told the students you were leaving before my class got there because you didn't want to see me. When i heard that, I wanted to die. I called you Mama for a reason. I loved you like my mother. When I returned, you didn't greet me with a hug and a kiss like you used to. You didn't even look at me. I asked, "Do you hate me?". You replied, "I'm really not happy with you." That's when my junior year fell apart.
I lost my reputation and my friends and my respect. I lost my boyfriend and my favorite teacher.
As time passed by, you started to be nicer to me, but we never regained our close relationship. As for me and your son, we were done and over with, though to this day I am still not over him.
Mama Matthews, I kissed up to you all year. I did everything I could to make you happy and proud of me. I even had the highest average out of all your clases, but you gave the award to someone else because you were still upset with me.
I fought my whole year. I fought with the students, I fought with the teachers, and I fought with myself. I regret everything I did that year. All I wanted from you was forgiveness and love, but you never gave that to me. You lied to me all year, and when your son attempted to contact me again, you were NOT happy. I"M SORRY that I had sex with him. If I could take it back, I would. But it takes 2 people to commit that act. I am not entirely at fault. When you were fired, I was devastated. Absolutely heartbroken. I even cried... but I don't think my tears were worth it. Because you had no respect for me. I still love you so much and I would do anything to regain your respect. But I'm not going to let you put me down anymore.