Is This the End of Us? Or Just the Means to Start Again?
I'm Sorry Jack
A week, a whole week until I finally feel human enough for us to leave the god dam gas station. It was seven days of me coughing and feeling sorry for myself why Jack took care of me and we waited for the zombies that didn’t come.
“I don’t like this” I say, as we pack our bags getting ready to leave. “It’s too quiet”
“They’ve not killed us; surely that’s a good thing?” Jack says slightly frustrated, I think he’d fed up of me going on about the fact we’re not dead.
“But it’s like they’re planning something”
“Alex zombies don’t make plans”
“But...”
“Maybe they’ve just found new people’s brains to eat, can we just get out of here?”
“Sure”
Stepping outside into the sun even though it’s incredibly hot it feels good to be outside again. As Jack closes the door of the gas station behind us he grabs my hand I look up at him expecting him to say something but he just smiles.
We walk under the hot sun for what seems like hours, the abandoned car littered road stretching out in front of us in such a way it seems to go forever, but in all that time Jack’s hand has gripped mine.
“Can we stop for a minute?” I pant, we’d heard a noise behind us and have been running almost not stop for half an hour.
“You’re the one that’s spent this whole apocalypse running” Jack teases.
“Yeah but I have only just recovered from the death flu” I joke back, sitting down on a wall at the side of the road.
“Death flu? You don’t look much like a zombie to me” he says nudging my shoulder, I smile back. We both stare off into the distance, we’re up high somewhere now after claiming some hill or other and we can see for miles the road stretching on and on into forever.
“Do you think we’ll make it?” Jack asks.
“Sure we will, just over two weeks left we can totally make it” I reassure him.
“I don’t want to become a zombie Alex”
“You won’t become a zombie Jack, I won’t let that happen” I say, putting my arm around his shoulders.
“You promise?”
“I promise”
“I love you” he says lazily. I recoil, my arm dropping from his shoulders.
“Y...You... What?”
“I love you Alex”
“No, no, no, no, no” I get up running my hands through my hair.
“What’s wrong? Not gonna lie wasn’t quite the reaction I was expecting”
“She was my girlfriend Jack, she was my girlfriend!”
“Who?”
“Lisa... She was girlfriend and I watched her change”
“Oh Alex I’m so....”
“I can’t do it again, I’m sorry Jack but I just can’t” Jack looks down at his lap and I swear I see a tear.
“I really am sorry Jack, but I can’t risk falling in love again what if I lose them again?” he sniffs and nods his head.
“Come on, let’s get a move on” I reach out expecting him to take my hand but he doesn’t.
We walk for awhile, the sun high in the sky beating down pure heat on to us. Jack lags behind as we walk, dragging his feet behind him. I feel horrible, I want to make it okay, I want to go back to joking, well done Gaskarth fucking everything up again. I want to be able to say that I love him back but I can’t, I can’t do that to myself again. There’s a low moan to the left of us and snapping my head around I see not one or two but six zombies moving towards us.
“JACK RUN!”
“Alex I...” he’s not fast enough, one zombie grabs him from behind.
“No Jack” I ran towards him and reach out grabbing his hand.
“No, I won’t let them take you. I promised” I grip onto his hand; I am not letting another person slip through my fingers.
“You have to! There’s no point in us both dying, Alex you have to get out of here”
“I won’t leave you!”
“You don’t get a choice” he pushes me away as the zombie gets full hold on him and start to move away, Jack doesn’t even try to fight it. I turn to run, running down the highway but I don’t get far, my body doesn’t have the energy, to flu having drained me almost completely I collapse at the side of the road, the whole world going black around me.
As I open my eyes I see it’s night, I don’t know how long I’ve been lying on the ground but the stiffness in my limps suggests a few hours.
“Jack?” I call out as I’m met my silence I remember what happened. Jack the only person I had left, gone. He had saved me instead of himself, he could of escaped but he let me live instead. I let the tears fall from my eyes; he died knowing I couldn’t love him back.
I sit up and look out around me it’s almost pitch black expect something glowing in the distance. Squinting at it in the almost non existing light, it looks like a warehouse something with big flood lights could it be people? Scrabbling around in my bag I pull out my dad’s old pair of binoculars, staring into the distance at the warehouse I see it’s not people but zombies! But zombies don’t need light or shelter, what are they doing? Looking though the binoculars at them I see there are some people there but they’re not being eaten it’s more like they’re being held captive. Does that mean there’s a chance Jack is alive?
I take one last look at the warehouse and put the binoculars away. It looks like a three or four day walk, in the wrong direction but I have to go back, if there’s any chance that Jack’s alive I have to go back for him. I promised him I wouldn’t let them turn him and I have every intention of keeping that promise.
“I don’t like this” I say, as we pack our bags getting ready to leave. “It’s too quiet”
“They’ve not killed us; surely that’s a good thing?” Jack says slightly frustrated, I think he’d fed up of me going on about the fact we’re not dead.
“But it’s like they’re planning something”
“Alex zombies don’t make plans”
“But...”
“Maybe they’ve just found new people’s brains to eat, can we just get out of here?”
“Sure”
Stepping outside into the sun even though it’s incredibly hot it feels good to be outside again. As Jack closes the door of the gas station behind us he grabs my hand I look up at him expecting him to say something but he just smiles.
We walk under the hot sun for what seems like hours, the abandoned car littered road stretching out in front of us in such a way it seems to go forever, but in all that time Jack’s hand has gripped mine.
“Can we stop for a minute?” I pant, we’d heard a noise behind us and have been running almost not stop for half an hour.
“You’re the one that’s spent this whole apocalypse running” Jack teases.
“Yeah but I have only just recovered from the death flu” I joke back, sitting down on a wall at the side of the road.
“Death flu? You don’t look much like a zombie to me” he says nudging my shoulder, I smile back. We both stare off into the distance, we’re up high somewhere now after claiming some hill or other and we can see for miles the road stretching on and on into forever.
“Do you think we’ll make it?” Jack asks.
“Sure we will, just over two weeks left we can totally make it” I reassure him.
“I don’t want to become a zombie Alex”
“You won’t become a zombie Jack, I won’t let that happen” I say, putting my arm around his shoulders.
“You promise?”
“I promise”
“I love you” he says lazily. I recoil, my arm dropping from his shoulders.
“Y...You... What?”
“I love you Alex”
“No, no, no, no, no” I get up running my hands through my hair.
“What’s wrong? Not gonna lie wasn’t quite the reaction I was expecting”
“She was my girlfriend Jack, she was my girlfriend!”
“Who?”
“Lisa... She was girlfriend and I watched her change”
“Oh Alex I’m so....”
“I can’t do it again, I’m sorry Jack but I just can’t” Jack looks down at his lap and I swear I see a tear.
“I really am sorry Jack, but I can’t risk falling in love again what if I lose them again?” he sniffs and nods his head.
“Come on, let’s get a move on” I reach out expecting him to take my hand but he doesn’t.
We walk for awhile, the sun high in the sky beating down pure heat on to us. Jack lags behind as we walk, dragging his feet behind him. I feel horrible, I want to make it okay, I want to go back to joking, well done Gaskarth fucking everything up again. I want to be able to say that I love him back but I can’t, I can’t do that to myself again. There’s a low moan to the left of us and snapping my head around I see not one or two but six zombies moving towards us.
“JACK RUN!”
“Alex I...” he’s not fast enough, one zombie grabs him from behind.
“No Jack” I ran towards him and reach out grabbing his hand.
“No, I won’t let them take you. I promised” I grip onto his hand; I am not letting another person slip through my fingers.
“You have to! There’s no point in us both dying, Alex you have to get out of here”
“I won’t leave you!”
“You don’t get a choice” he pushes me away as the zombie gets full hold on him and start to move away, Jack doesn’t even try to fight it. I turn to run, running down the highway but I don’t get far, my body doesn’t have the energy, to flu having drained me almost completely I collapse at the side of the road, the whole world going black around me.
As I open my eyes I see it’s night, I don’t know how long I’ve been lying on the ground but the stiffness in my limps suggests a few hours.
“Jack?” I call out as I’m met my silence I remember what happened. Jack the only person I had left, gone. He had saved me instead of himself, he could of escaped but he let me live instead. I let the tears fall from my eyes; he died knowing I couldn’t love him back.
I sit up and look out around me it’s almost pitch black expect something glowing in the distance. Squinting at it in the almost non existing light, it looks like a warehouse something with big flood lights could it be people? Scrabbling around in my bag I pull out my dad’s old pair of binoculars, staring into the distance at the warehouse I see it’s not people but zombies! But zombies don’t need light or shelter, what are they doing? Looking though the binoculars at them I see there are some people there but they’re not being eaten it’s more like they’re being held captive. Does that mean there’s a chance Jack is alive?
I take one last look at the warehouse and put the binoculars away. It looks like a three or four day walk, in the wrong direction but I have to go back, if there’s any chance that Jack’s alive I have to go back for him. I promised him I wouldn’t let them turn him and I have every intention of keeping that promise.