Verboten

Alex stared at his phone. He had a text open, addressed to Jack, but so far he hadn’t written anything. What was he meant to write? Alex took a deep breath, like his therapist kept making him when he felt anxious, and ran his thumbs over the keypad.

He finally settled upon a general greeting message: 'Hey xxx'. He paused and re-considered. Was three kisses too many? Or too few? Alex shook his head as if the worries would fly out of his ears: he was being stupid. It was Jack, after all.

He hit the send button and bit his thumbnail as his phone notified him that his text had been sent. A minute passed, then another. Then five. Alex tore a chunk from his thumbnail and swore as blood swelled up and ran down his hand. He jumped up and hurried through his living room and dining room to the kitchen, running his hand under the cold tap.

When he was satisfied, he headed back to the sofa and beamed when he saw that his phone was lit up, with the notification “One new message from: Jack”. Eagerly, he opened his messages and read the simple 'Hey lovely xxx'.

Alex:
Did you get home safely?xxx

Jack:
Yeah I was fine, don’t worry about me. How are you feeling?xxx

Alex:
Not great xxx

Jack:
Why not? Be honest xxx

Alex:
Just anxious about what’s going to happen when my parents get home. Xxx

Jack:
It’ll be fine, Lex. Trust me. Everything will be fine, yeah?xxx

Alex:
It’s not usually xxx

Jack:
This time it will be, I swear darling xxx

Alex:
Thanks but I’m still scared xxx

Jack:
What do your parents do to you, Lex?xxx

Alex:
My mum is really sweet but my dad’s the opposite. He’s horrible xxx

Jack:
What does your dad do, babe?xxx

Alex:
He hits my mum…sometimes he does other stuff to her. I wish I could stop him but if I try he just hits me xxx

Jack:
That’s abuse, darling, you shouldn’t stand for it. There are people at school equipped for this kind of stuff xxx

Alex:
I don’t want any help, Jack, honestly. It’s not too bad xxx

Jack:
It sounds bad, and the bruises on your arm are awful, and I want to protect you, babe. I’m only saying it because I’m worried you’re going to end up badly hurt xxx

Alex:
There’s nothing you can do anyway, he’s really good at covering stuff up xxx

Jack:
If you insist xxx what are you doing now?xxx

Alex:
Just texting you, might watch some TV xxx thanks for everything you’ve done today xxx

Jack:
No problem babe xxx I’m happy to do anything, you know I am. Absolutely anything xxx

Alex:
Can I ask you something private then?xxx

Jack:
Of course xxx

Alex:
How did you realise that you’re gay?xxx

Jack:
Not sure really. I was at a party, got drunk and ended up with a stranger’s dick in my mouth. When I
enjoyed it, that was a pretty big indicator xxx

Alex:
Sorry for not replying, Dad came home xxx

Jack:
Did he do anything to you?xxx

Alex:
Not yet xxx

Jack:
That’s good, try and stay out of his way xxx

Alex:
I can hear him hitting mum xxx

Jack:
How badly, dear?xxx

Alex:
She’s screaming, I think. I’m in my room xxx

Jack:
You seem very calm, which is good. Keep taking deep breaths xxx

Alex:
I don’t feel calm at all, I feel horrible because I can’t stop him xxx

Jack:
This isn’t your fault, Alex. Trust me it’s not xxx

Jack jumped as his phone rung, a piercing, high-pitched trill. The display screen informed him that Alex was calling him. He picked up quickly. “Lex?”

He could tell as soon as the younger boy spoke that he was sobbing. “Jack?”

“I’m here, babe,” Jack reassured him, “talk to me.”

“It’s-it’s Dad,” Alex stuttered into the phone. There was a crackle of static electricity as someone yelled in the background. Jack winced – even over the phone it sounded monstrous.

“What’s happening, Alex?” Jack asked, determined to sound calm even if he didn’t feel it. If he sounded panicked, he could only imagine how Alex would react.

“He’s…he’s hit Mum a lot,” Alex admitted, fear evident in his voice. “I think…I think he used his belt.” Jack closed his eyes and pressed his hand to his forehead.

“Okay, that’s not good at all. But you’ll be fine.”

“Jack – he’s coming up the stairs!” Alex had dropped his voice to a whisper.

“Alex,” was all Jack could think to say. “Oh, Alex, it’ll be fine, I promise.”

He didn’t get a reply for a few seconds, there was just sobbing. “I’m not going to be fine,” his student finally whispered.

“Yes, you are, sweetheart, you’ll be fine!” Jack didn’t know what to do – he felt morally obliged to do something, but he knew Alex would hate him to do anything like that.

There was a large burst of static as someone (presumably his father) yelled, a mumble of angry words, and then the phone went dead just as Alex screamed “No!”

Jack dropped his phone in shock. He had no idea what to do – what was one supposed to do in this situation? Hurriedly he picked up his phone again and dialled Alex: no response, straight to voicemail.

Jack felt a tear slide down his face and sank down onto the floor.