Almost Easy

December 1, 2006-Inside the Operation

“Shit, shit, shit, there are two guards approaching the door from the south end of the corridor,” Marina tells her partners in the control room.

The three of them managed to shut down alarms, door locks, and traps; so now they have to sit around, monitoring the traffic. They spoke into the ear pieces to give warnings, watching their mission unfold before their eyes. After all these years, it was still so unbelievable to witness everything at once. And, of course, to help prevent her team from being killed.

“Here,” Kevin threw her a gun, “Get under the desk. Shoot if we're losing.”

Marina could have laughed in their face, her aim was shit. They all knew that, so it was a saving grace that she was special. The gun felt heavy in her hands, the sleek black intimidating her. She quickly made sure the safety was off before closing her eyes for a few seconds. If she accidentally shoots her partners, she's dead. If she misses and gives away where she is, she's dead. These situations are rarely ever fair.

She quickly hid under the table, watching with tuned eyes. The two men stood behind the walls by the door, ready to fight. After moments of silence, footsteps could be heard from outside of the thick walled room. Marina held her breath as the metal door slowly creaked open, the two guards slowly appearing. Everything after that happened so fast.

Jeff pounced, Kevin backing him up. The men wrestled, the enemy's guns sliding away from them in the intense struggle. Marina readied her weapon, nervous at how close the fight was becoming. If they didn't break apart soon, she'd have to fire her weapon. Cocking the gun, that was something she really hoped she could avoid.

As if he came from the shadows, another man appeared in the doorway. The dark figure was there in an instant, observing the scene quickly. Marina knew she was in for it when his head snapped in her direction. He saw the young woman hiding and raised a gun directly at her. She froze, terrified of the foreseeable outcome, her eyes going wide before she acted on impulse.

They both fired at the same time. For a split second, everything slowed and Marina saw her life flashing before her eyes. Her childhood, running through the streets with the neighbors. Her teenage years, making friends against their wills. And the family that surrounded her. Jeff and his family, Kevin's' pregnant sister who asked Marina to be the Godmother just days before. She wasn't ready to die. She has so much to fight for, yet nothing at all.

The bullet passed right through her, throwing her back at the force. She barely caught sight of her bullet going straight through his head as she fell, hand flying up to her shoulder. This time, she had been the lucky one.

“And that's all I really remember,” Marina tells the doctor after recalling the first time she was ever shot.

The doctor stares at her in poorly masked horror at the casual way the younger woman presented the traumatic experience. She had never encountered someone who told a story about being shot while she murdered someone as no big deal. But, the older woman had to consider that something like that was probably normal. She had to defend herself all the times, and that sometimes ended in death. It's sad, but that was just a part of Marina's life.

“Was that normal for you?” The doctor asks carefully, watching her face.

“Ya know, doctor-”

“Please, call me Rachael.”

“Well, Rachael, I've never really thought about it that way. In a sense, you could say that is a normal part of my life. Death threats were all around me, but killing someone? That wasn't the purpose of what I did. My job was to make everyone elses' life easier. It just so happened that I was dealt the unlucky cards of killing four different people. And I swear it was only four and all of the times I hadn't meant to. I just didn't want to die.” She explains, eyebrows furrowing.

“I believe you, Marina. And unless the police figure this out on their own, you'll never have to be convicted of it. In the meantime, do you mind sharing all the stories with me? I think maybe this could be a door to what you believe you possess.” Rachael asks, leaning forward with her chin in her hands.

“Rachael,” Marina smiles darkly, “I don't believe I can control people, I know I can.”

~\~\~\~\

After that confession, they had to end their session. Rachael had other patients to see and their conversation had already been a little over an hour long. So, Marina let her afternoon orderly lead her into the cafeteria for lunch. Even though she was feeling uneasy after the things she recalled, Marina still wanted to eat. That always seemed to make her feel better.

The orderly sat next to her as she ate, not really paying attention to what she was doing as he read the newspaper. Her icy blue eyes scanned the area, people watching just like she always does. Honestly, Marina was coming to enjoy observing the odd behaviors people exhibited in the large room. It was her only source of entertainment for the day and after a while, you started getting desperate.

When about twenty minutes had passed and she had eaten mostly all of her food, the beautiful man entered the room. He didn't get food, just quickly sat with his friends. This time, he was glowing. There was a huge smile on his face as he spoke to the other residents with a happy urgency. Obviously, someone had come to visit him. And that someone made him very ecstatic.

Marina just observed him, soaking in his gorgeous radiation. He talked for a solid ten minutes before finally stopping, taking a deep breath before grinning brightly. His friend, one with short brown hair and brown eyes to match, said something to make him laugh. In the process of being totally gorgeous, he looked up at Marina. The smile faded and realization took over his expression, a realization the woman didn't understand at all. His happy mood was gone as soon as it came and he jumped up to run out of the room, like he always does, leaving his friends confused.

One day, Marina would figure out what his deal was. Until then, all she could do was wonder why she scared him so much. Or was it even fear? He never really seemed afraid of her, just severely confused and a little overwhelmed. Maybe she looked like an ex of his or something and it really freaks him out. After all, she is in a mental institution.

~\~\~\~\

At the end of her first week, when Rachael deemed her safe for human contact, Marina was allowed to be as free as possible. She got moved rooms, had access to the recreational center, could attend group therapy, join in on “club” sessions, and actually talk to people. Even though they were finally giving her everything she had craved for the passed seven day, all Marina could do was stay in her new room. Rachael had put in that she didn't have a room buddy, so an empty bed sat four feet away from hers.

This room actually had a window, one with bars over it, but still a window. She could finally see the outside world, see the seasons slowly change, and that's all she wanted to do. The woman didn't want to talk to people, make friends, or entertain herself- She just wanted to watch the leaves. It was the time of year for them to start shifting colors before dying, covering the ground in a soggy layer of powerful beauty. It was time for her favorite season.

Marina's mother always told her she was like autumn. She claimed that the child had the personality of it, the beauty, the emotions. The young child that Marina used to be loved hearing that. She thought her mother was saying she was beautiful and bright, something that added color into things. Now, Marina really sees what her mom was saying all along.

First, she's beautiful. Her bright colors paint the sky, giving the world one final lick of beauty before changing. Slowly, she falls away, shedding her light to everything that surrounds her. She covers the earth in who she is, forcing herself into every single open space while she still can. Then, when it's too late, she realizes she's let herself be swept away and forgotten until the next year.

In more than one way, Marina agrees with her mother. She is autumn. And for some reason, she isn't afraid to admit it.