My Stubborn Soul Mate

Chapter 5

Nadia’s POV

Thinking back over today’s events I realized I had done more wrong than right. It seemed from the moment that I allowed Ina to step into the room with my mate I somehow lost my best judgement I was ashamed to say that I behaved as badly as any alpha wolf would have. As a consolation, at least I can feel encouraged that my mate decided to willingly stay instead of insisting that he be able to leave with Ina.

I rolled over and again tried to force myself to sleep instead I found myself rehashing ever bit of the day. I can remember being somewhat annoyed when Ina had chosen to sit with my mate and rattle off their lineage instead of doing what she came here to do. I asked her to please get inside of his mind and pull out any mental commands or illusions that might still be influencing him. I was all but gnashing my teeth by the time she finished spewing all her blood relatives.

Then, when my mate started to speak of his lineage I can recall my irritation left and I became more inquisitive as I listened. It wasn’t until he finished that I realized Ina had been mucking around inside my mates mind while he was distracted. She managed to use the traditional greeting method as a way to get him to drop his defences so she could reverse any damage the were-cat elder had done.
Everything up to that point had been within reasonable expectations. But when my mate’s head dropped to his chest and tears started to pour from his eyes something inside of me went a little crazy. I can clearly recall moving towards the locked gate with the intention of going in and bringing comfort to him. I somewhat recall that I became enraged when Ina dared to wrap her arms around my mate in solace. But I went ballistic when it became clear that my mate had the intention of kissing her.

I must have shifted in my anger and attacked Ina. I have really very little memories of what happened next. What little memories I have for the most part matched what Ina had told me. I groaned to myself yet again when I thought of her words. I pictured Ina's beautiful face in mind with her lips scrunched up like she had just eaten something very sour saying to me

“You should be ashamed of yourself. You let your jealousy and anger get the best of you. You dear child allowed your wolf to take command of your body and have a horrific and embarrassing temper tantrum. Your wolf attacked me and nearly killed me. If your soul mate hadn’t shifted into his big ass tiger I would probably be dead.

Then, just because Miguel actually tried to save my life your wolf got even nastier. You turned on him like a dog chasing after a cat. It wasn’t until I managed to get on the outside that I could at least see the humour in watching the cat and dog fight. You really tore him up. The poor guy was trying so hard not to hurt your wolf, yet you just kept biting and pushing at him.

You should know better than to ever let your wolf take control. Now you have caused more problems than you may be able to deal with. I have to be honest I strongly suggested to Miguel that he consider leaving with me and giving you some time to come to grips with this relationship. I must say that if your vampyre side had attacked him the way your wolf did he wouldn’t be alive.

Nadia, you are a trained warrior and you know you are deadly. Because you lost control and allowed your wolf free reign she actually tried to dominate your beloveds’ tiger. Now, you have to know in your heart that he will never be able to accept that. He’s a Leo for god’s sakes being dominated by a wolf is unnatural.

This is going to cost you and him a great deal of pain. You two were already going to have a hard time just getting over the fact that he’s been intimate with someone from your family. Now you’ve made it so much worse by losing your temper.

I hate to have to say this Nadia, but if you want to be with him than you are going to have to be the one to eats crow. Somehow you are going to have to convince your wolf to submit and make amends to him and his tiger before you and he can take steps towards a real relationship.”

I groaned again knowing that she was right. Ever since Luis told me that it was possible my soul mate had been under the influence of a mental illusion something inside of me had become protective and mistrustful of anyone being around him.

I realized now that I was actually jealous that my soul mate had been with someone other than me. My wolf and I felt angry and even envious that he’d been intimate with Tara. I know it was sick and totally irrational but I couldn’t stop myself from becoming enraged at the thought of him touching anyone but me. Then, when he allowed Ina to touch him I just lost it.

The worst part was my wolf tried to rationalize our jealousy and anger by saying that he isn’t our true wolf mate and that he might be our soul mate but he and his cat are to blame for our loss of control. She actually feels that he and his cat can’t be trusted and that he just isn’t good enough for us. She thinks we should reject our soul mate and just wait for our true wolf mate. My soul disagrees vehemently and now I feel like I am at odds with myself.

My soul and the vampyre side of me understand this was a misunderstanding and that our souls complete each other. That side of me just wants to beg for forgiveness and make my wolf side obey. My wolf side however says she won’t calm down or even try to accept him unless we dominate him and his cat and force them to be faithful and subservient to us.

Just hearing my wolf in my head had me crying all over again. I just didn’t know what to do. Then I felt my heart flutter in despair as I thought about the words that Miguel and I had flung at each other just before I came upstairs to try to sleep.

Both of us shifted back to our human forms and stood just a few feet apart totally naked. I was immediately transfixed by how absolutely gorgeous he was. I wanted to open my mouth and apologize for losing control and beg him to forgive me.

My wolf however was still in a snit and had no intention of begging for anything. She was growling and shouting in my head that we are superior and that he needs to apologize first. In an attempt to appease both sides of me I thought it best to not blame or take blame and instead I grabbed the blanket off the bed and wrapped it around me while I said as calmly as possible

“Oh wow, are you okay?”

My soul mate looked at me like I had three heads. Then he too looked for something to cover himself with. Once he was covered he said and not to kindly I might add

“Yes, but what the hell was that? Is your wolf nuts or something? It tried to rip out my jugular? Correct me if I’m wrong but I think we are true mates and should want to make love with me not fight me.”

I shouldn’t have gotten angry and I certainly shouldn’t have listened to my wolf but instead of keeping silent or apologizing I said

“Well, if you and your cat could stop touching ever female it sees maybe me and my wolf wouldn’t have gotten so angry.”

Yup those were the words I chose. I watched him cringe back like I had physically struck him. Then when I knew it was going to take more than a simple sorry.