Love Is a Serious Mental Disease

1

I tap my nails in a solid rythym on the counter and look at my wristwatch. One thirty-two. Great, only twenty-five minutes until I'm off work. I can't wait for my mom to get her own job and stops depending on me to pay the bills.

Britney, one of the five waitresses; including me, nudged my shoulder with her elbow. "What?" I say, lightly rubbing the spot where she hit me.

"Stop daydreaming. Go take table five's orders." As soon as my eyes shifted to the Ralph Lauren polos and the Michael Kors knockoffs, my heart sank. Even on a weekend, the preps and jocks still manage to somehow appear everywhere I'm at.

"No. Nonononono. Please, could you take their orders?" I beg.

"No,I have to get another table. Come on, it can't be that bad. They're human, just like us."

"Wanna bet?" I mutter to myself. Britney already walks away to another table in a corner, leaving me to cater to the ultimate bitches.

I straighten my uniform which consists of a tight black and white wrap dress. Well, that's what I get for working at an upscale restaurant in Pennsylvania.

In my head, I recite what I'm going to say. When I reach the table, a repulsed look creeps up on Stephanie Meyer's--head cheerleader at my school--face. "Welcome to Le Rene. What will you be having this afternoon?"

Kelcy Jennings , Stephanie's best friend, stared at me in such concentration like she was trying to figure out who I was. "Don't I know you from somewhere?"

"Are you joking?" I flashed a hopeful smile. Her face was blank.

"I'm in your Calc class and we got partnered up like five times last year in Chemistry."

"Ohhh.You look different when you're not wearing something that looks like a rat feasted on it." Kelcy started laughing at her own joke.

I clear my throat. I'm about say something but glance over at the security camera above my head and quickly shut my mouth.

"Don't you have a fat boyfriend who decided to be like aneorikic?" Stephanie asked.

"I--" My cheeks grew warm.

"I saw you walking with someone the other day. I thought he was your dog till I found out he was your date," Stephanie sneered.Two of the jocks who I knew as John and Mark smirked.

I swear I would have been banging Stephanie's head against the table right now. Instead I presumed to say:"Excuse me, my boyfriend's a human being and he's been through a lot after bypass surgery. He's not anorexic. Now I find this conversation to be getting a little inappropriate and offhand so I would appreciate it if you would talk to me without the criticism and negativity and I would be willing to take your order. Otherwise, if you're having a concern, you could talk to my manager."

She didn't even flinch."Can I get a Coke." Her reaction took me by surprise though I didn't really know how I expected her to react.

"Is that all?"

Kelcy looked up from her menu. "I'll have the prosciutto and pea bowtie pasta and the boys will have chicken enchiladas. Oh and we'll all have Coke except make mine Diet.

I scribbled in my notepad and picked up their menus.

Ten minutes later, I was back with everyone's orders. I made sure to spit in every one of their food."Enjoy your meals," I briefly added before walking into the kitchen again.

There's a back door in the kitchen that leads to the staff lounge. I walk through that door. Mini lockers are placed against the back wall and I walk over to my locker.

I fiddle with the combination until I can get the locker open. Inside is my house key stashed carefully under a mountainous pile of books and one of my personal journals I take every place I go. I grab the book on the very top of the stack. The cover read,"Free Hearts in a Trapped World:Book 1" in golden cursive font.

I have read the whole series at least seventeen times by now and the first book I'm clutching in my hands, I have read so many times that I know the first eighty-nine pages by heart.

The book was first introduced to me by my father when I was ten years old. It was the same book his great-grandmother had passed down to him. He used to read the book to me every night. I grew up wanting to be Jane, the main character. She had every trait I desired to have: she was opinionated, intellectual, hopeful, independent, determined, optimistic. The list could go on and on.

When reading the first book became a part of my everyday life, my grandma gave me the rest of the books in the series.

I found a great attraction towards Jane when I was at a period of my life when I thought anything even remotely important to me would tumble down and disinagrate. Jane and I both had hardships in our life, many of them were similar. She always managed to find the greater good in every situation, and I found myself wanting to be her.

Suddenly, my mind rushes to the very reasons why I turned to my books for comfort and what little ounce of happiness I had left in me vanished.

At age eight, I was raped by my uncle and cousin in a dirty bathroom.After that, I shut everyone out and never told a soul. The only person who has any idea is my boyfriend, Peter, who even to him, I couldn't tell the complete truth. He just thinks I was physically abused or something like that.

I was twelve years old when I used to go to sleep at night listening to my parents arguing from the other room, and objects being flung and breaking. It was evident that if my father hadn't died of cancer the next year, my parents would have gotten a divorce.

I was holding my father's hand when I witnessed him taking his last few breaths. I had lost my best friend;my only friend.

My father had always been the breadwinner, so after he died, my mother, little brother, and I had to move to a poorly constructed apartment. Now I'm the earner in the family. I transferred to eight different schools in the past three and a half years because I was bullied in every single one of them. I went from a straight A student to a C average.

Being the poor American teenager I was, I started noticing everything I didn't have. I always contemplated suicide and I would spend my whole afternoon locked away in my room, trying to plan how I would kill myself. One afternoon, my mom was tidying up my room when she stumbled upon my Suicide Book. It was a book that praised every single possible way to kill yourself. I remember how she weeped for hours.

She took me to therapy and it was there where I realized that if I worked hard enough, the shitty life I'm living now didn't have to be my future. These dreaded therapy sessions gave me hope for a better life, but they didn't fill the empty void in my heart.

I shake my head. I'm not going to think about that right now. I take my book to the kitchen since I'm not allowed to be in the staff lounge until my shift is over. Only ten more minutes until I'm free to go home.

When I open my book to the page my bookmark was peeking out of, little dust particles flew in the air. The book is in pretty good condition for how ancient it had become. Aside from a few dogearred pages and a slight tear on the book cover, it appeared brand-new.

Just as I begin to read the first sentence in the book, Alyssa, another waitress calls me over to her.

"Yes?" I say, trying to not sound too annoyed. By the way Alyssa's eyes always burned on me, I could tell she wasn't very fond of me.

"Just because you're about to leave, doesn't make your shift over yet. Go clean up table eighteen."

Oh well, I'll just finish the book later. When I head towards table eighteen with my wet cloth in hand I feel eyes piercing through me. I turn my head to find a cross Stephanie Meyer nagging Britney. Britney just nods and walks my way.

"Uh that girl with the blonde bob is complaining about you," Britney murmurs to me.

"What?"I was taken aback. "What did she say?"

Britney shrugs."She just said she needed to talk to you."

I hand Britney my cloth and casually walk to Stephanie. Remember, act professional.

"I heard from Britney, the other waitress, that you were having a problem you'd like to address--"

"Yeah, yeah. Save it,skank." Stephanie snarked.

I flinch. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I asked for a vegan hamburger a long time ago, and I'm still waiting," Stephanie protested, making sure to put extra emphasis on "long."

"But you never said anythin--"

Stephanie interrupts again. "Oh, yes I did. Didn't I, guys?" Kelcy and the boys nodded violently.

"God, Samantha." Did she not know my real name?

"Actually, it's Scarlett," I corrected her.

"Actually, I don't care. That's not what I want to know. God, you're so poor that you can't even afford to pay attention." The jocks and Kelcy snickered.

I have been trying to hold my tongue all this time, but now I've had enough. "Ooh, that's a low blow. Speaking of low blows, how's your mom?" Kelcy was trying her best to stifle her laugh. Every student at my school knew that Stephanie's mother was a prostitute.

Stephanie's mouth drops. "What did you say?" She speaks through clenched teeth.

I had to say something quirky before walking off. "You heard me. Oh and by the way, here's some advice. There's a fine line between tanning, and looking like you just rolled in Dorito dust." Stephanie's eyes looked as if they were going to pop out of their sockets. I bit on my cheeks to prevent from smiling, and turned, satisfied and proud.

A giant clump of something hit the back of my head and I turned around, grabbing at my hair. When I removed my hand from my hair, I found a large goo of cheese clumped into my hand. Beside my shoes was a splattered enchilada. I peered at Stephanie, who had a mixture of tomato sauce and cheese pasted on her right hand.

I looked over at the other customers, but no one had seen the act. She raises her hand to flip me off.Oh, that is it!

I stumble towards her with my arms spread out in front of me. I grab a hold of her hair and yank while spinning on my heel. She slips on the enchilada and grabs a hold of my dress, bringing me down with her. I tug at her earrings as she swiftly takes one of my heels off and begins hitting my face with it. I had to defend myself so I brought my hands in front of my face and when she started hitting my side instead, I balled my hand,and my fist came flying at her face.

Blood droops from her nose and she spits the red liquid out onto the floor. My heart begins to pound as Stephanie's nose continues to bleed profusely. I feel a hand on my shoulder. It drags me back, separating me from Stephanie.

"That's enough!" My manager, Scott yells at the top of his lungs. I raise to my feet. "This is no way to behave in a restaurant. I'm going to make this easy. You," He pointed at Stephanie,"are to never return to my store ever again!" A vein brimmed on his forehead. His bald head shone from the reflection of the hot lights hanging on the ceiling. "If you ever return to my restaurant again, there will be consequences. When my employees told me to come here, I never expected something this drastic to be taking place in my restaurant! And you Ms. Elizabeth, I want you to clean your locker and meet me in my office!"

"But..." I started.

"Now!"

I could already tell this day was only going to get worse.