Chasing Picket Fences
10th of December 2014
10/12/14
This is it.
I have been here for nearly two months now.
I moved away from home, dropped out of college, broke three hearts and am now a member of society.
This is the big scary world they tried to prepare us for.
My shoe laces are untied and i still don't look both ways when i cross the road.
For a while i couldn't figure out why i was so scared of this move, having already moved so many times as a kid. But i have figured it out.
that was as a kid, my parents making the choices, moving us around. now i am 150 miles away from dad and an hours drive from mom, and i am out here of my own volition. i have been on adventures before, but this is the first one that is truly mine.
sure i came here because i was following Jon, but he wasn't the only reason.
I have a job, I'm starting to make friends, and I'm quite happy.
it's still fucking scary though. i have the power, i am in charge. and i have no idea how to drive this thing.
some times i cry because i realise how alone i really am. I can no longer hop on a bus and visit my best friend for instance. But then i straighten my hair, wipe my face and look in a new direction.
I always said i was detached, and wouldn't miss any one, but it wasn't until i left that i realised how attached i was.
I even miss the annoying guy who sat behind me in class.
i don't regret dropping out of college, and i don't regret moving out, but i do miss my friends, and the comfort of knowing that i didn't have to worry where food was coming from.
And calling home for help isn't as embarrassing or terrible as i thought it would be. For someone out on their own for the first time, i don't think i am doing too badly at this game, even if i do say so myself.
Yeah, things are definitely looking up.
This is it.
I have been here for nearly two months now.
I moved away from home, dropped out of college, broke three hearts and am now a member of society.
This is the big scary world they tried to prepare us for.
My shoe laces are untied and i still don't look both ways when i cross the road.
For a while i couldn't figure out why i was so scared of this move, having already moved so many times as a kid. But i have figured it out.
that was as a kid, my parents making the choices, moving us around. now i am 150 miles away from dad and an hours drive from mom, and i am out here of my own volition. i have been on adventures before, but this is the first one that is truly mine.
sure i came here because i was following Jon, but he wasn't the only reason.
I have a job, I'm starting to make friends, and I'm quite happy.
it's still fucking scary though. i have the power, i am in charge. and i have no idea how to drive this thing.
some times i cry because i realise how alone i really am. I can no longer hop on a bus and visit my best friend for instance. But then i straighten my hair, wipe my face and look in a new direction.
I always said i was detached, and wouldn't miss any one, but it wasn't until i left that i realised how attached i was.
I even miss the annoying guy who sat behind me in class.
i don't regret dropping out of college, and i don't regret moving out, but i do miss my friends, and the comfort of knowing that i didn't have to worry where food was coming from.
And calling home for help isn't as embarrassing or terrible as i thought it would be. For someone out on their own for the first time, i don't think i am doing too badly at this game, even if i do say so myself.
Yeah, things are definitely looking up.