Keeper

Jon fell hard. His landing was on his shoulder, the green grass cushioned his fall as the ball landed right in between his fingers. He heard their lead striker, Pypar, groan with annoyance. Jon has been blocking Pypar’s penalty kicks all day.

“Come on man! Your doing better than you normally do! I normally at least get three in.” Pypar yelled. Jon punted the ball down over the halfway mark to the rookie training side. Arya watched her best goalie and her best striker with careful eyes. She knew something was off with him. Something was definitely up with Jon.

“Pypar! Hit the showers, its ten past five, you're done for the day. I need your foot iced before the game against those sissy boys from Kings Landing tomorrow.” She said walking onto the field. Jon caught Arya’s eyes and his own flashed down to her left hand rather quickly. Knowing that she still didn’t like wearing the damn thing, but the diamond still sparkled away. His frown somehow got deeper and he sighed in frustration. Jon went to move past Arya as she put her hand on his chest and pushed him back.

“Sit down Snow.” Jon fell back on his ass as he just kept his eyes on cleats.
“Now, I have no idea what the hell is wrong with you. But you bet your ass I’m going find out.” Arya said as she stared at her player and one of her best friends. Jon in this moment reminded her of a lost puppy.

“Nothin’s wrong.” Jon said as he picked at the grass a little. A childish habit most of the players have. Ayra recognized this, because she use to do it all the time when her coach would scold her or tell her she could do something better.

“Bull shit. Since you have come out on this field you’ve let maybe one or two goals in. Now usually when you save that many goals in a practice you're all smiles, but now. I’ll be damned if I don’t see anything bigger than a straight line. What the fuck is wrong with you Jon?” Arya asked, getting frustrated with her player.

“Sansa decided-… Sansa and I decided to end things.” He said, throwing the piece of grass he held as hard as he could. Arya’s mouth dropped slightly as she looked upon the man she considers a older brother.

“What? Why?” She asked, her voice not hiding her shock. Jon didn’t answer her, he just stood up. “Jon?” She asked again, her voice softer and less loud. Concern was the only thing in her voice know. “When?”

“About a month ago.” He answered. His tone was almost like he was asking about the god damn weather, but his eyes and facial expression said differently.

“A month?” She said very surprised, her mouth gaped. “But, we had dinner with you and Sansa last week!” Her voice was in disbelief like she was trying to tell herself that it couldn’t be possible.

“She didn’t tell you?” Jon asked puzzled. “That was your family get together, to announce your engagement.” He thought the first person she would tell would have been Arya. Or at least Gilly who would have told Sam, who than in turn would have told Robb and Arya.

“Nothing. We talk almost everyday, and almost all about the wedding. Gendry wants it soon. So, shes been helping me rush with the details, but four weeks Jon? Bloody Hell! Thats a god damn long time.”

“Can I hit the showers as well?” He asked, standing up. Done having this painful conversation. Sasna red hair sliding through his fingers registered in his mind as started to clench and unclench his fists.

“Yeah, go ahead, I think I have to call Sansa.” Jon started to make his way off the field. Rolling his shoulder to stretch out the muscle. “Jon!” Arya called after him when he just made it off. He looked to see her jogging after him. When she was close enough she engulfed him in a hug. “Are you okay?” She asked softly. Jon gave her a squeeze and detangled her from him.

“No. I’m not.” Turning he left Arya standing on the field in complete shock.

*

Water was streaming down his face as he stood there under the faucet. The warm splash making him drift off. His mind started to play something he wish he could forget. Another time, another place, when he was enjoying a bath with Sansa resting in between his legs while both of them sipping champagne. It was their six months anniversary, Jon wanted to surprise her. So he had snuck into her bathroom when she was having one of her relaxing baths. The bubbles up around her, hiding her from his sight. He thought he never saw anything so perfect. Her red hair up in a bun with the soft glow of the candles flickering lights across her pale skin. The way she just let him sink into the warm water with her back pressed against his chest.

“Isn’t it relaxing?” She said with a slight hum in her voice. Jon had her head on his shoulder as she looked like was going to fall asleep. “Jon?” Her voice had said.

“Jon!” His eyes snapped out of dream land as he looked over his shoulder to see Robb standing behind the stone wall. He reached over and shut off the water, and grabbing his towel.

“Sorry, I was thinking.” Jon said. Stepping out of from behind the half stone wall.

“I just spoke with Arya.” Robb said, placing his hand on his friends shoulder. Jon looked at him with his brows furrowed.

“You're not going to hit me?” Robb shook his head, with a slight look of ponder on his face.

“I don’t hit guys when they're naked. They drop towels, and I really don’t want to see whatever you have under there.” He said, removing his hand from his shoulder, whipping the water on his pant leg. “Besides I’ll just get you another time. That I can promise.”

“Well thats good, for me at least.” Jon replied walking over to his locker. Robb followed leaning his back against the locker next to Jon’s. Jon’s locker door blocked his view of anything robb could see.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Robb whispered as he closed his eyes in frustration.

“I honestly thought she was going to tell you that day. In fact, I distinctly remember locking myself in my room holding a baseball bat to protect myself from you.” Jon said recalling the threat his friend made when he found out he was sleeping with his sister. The look of pure rage was all over, and he nearly called it that day. But then Sansa had just leaned over and took his hand with confidence and the fear went out the window.

“Ah, yes. You always sucked at baseball,” Robb contiuned the conversation not realizing that Jon wasn’t really into the conversation. “It wouldn’t have done you any good.” Robb said with a slight laugh in his voice. Jons frown only turned into a small tight line. Only slightly listening to what he was speaking. “Jon what happened?” It took Jon a couple of moments to respond before he realized that Robb was waiting for him to say something.

“She knew that Gendry and Arya were going to get engaged that day Arya landed the Management position. Everything seemed fine, after you guys left. We were supposed to have a romantic dinner, but I got-” Jon turned to look at Robb was was giving him that look. That, I know you love you her dude, but shes my sister, look that he gave when ever Jon forgot who he was talking to. “-until,” Jon knew to move the conversation to a less graphic level. “-about an hour before I had to leave for the meeting, I came out from shower to find her crying. At first I was confused but than she mentioned how Arya and Gendry were getting married, and that she was going to be there. At first I thought she was talking about Magarey, but it turned out she was really speaking about Ygritte. Which led to her saying how I never really loved her. She thought she was just a rebound girl. Because I used to say Ygritte name in my sleep.” Jon said sitting on the bench. He finished tying his converse and slammed his locker shut. “How I only cared for Ygritte.” He couldn’t help the water that sprang to his eyes.

“Jon?” Robb asked, straddling the bench. He put his hand on his friends shoulder again. Eyebrows furrowed in worry. In all the time Robb has known Jon, he has never once witnessed his friend get so emotionally upset. Jon sniffed as he tried to to keep the water behind his eyelids.

“And I just stood there like an idiot. As she kept talking, about how we can’t keep pretending that this was something it wasn’t.” Jon turned to his friend. “Robb, when I started this thing with your sister, maybe on some level it was because she provided me some sort of comfort, and that maybe we both needed that. That whatever it was, wasn’t going to last long. But then a few weeks turned into a month, and than a month turned into 4. Before I knew it, we were going on for a year. The moment she moved into my building, I thought she was going to be stuck up, like all the rest of the Shitgheads from Kings Landing, but she has completely shattered my image of her, and showed me a beautiful women, a truly wonderful human being.” Jon turned away swallowing trying to get his emotions in check. He stood up abruptly, grabbing his leather jacket and whipping his eyes with his arm. “I have to go. I’m sorry Robb.” Abruptly ending the conversation with his best mate.

“Jon!” Robb called after his best friend. Worried shown over his face, not just about both Jon but of his sister as well.

Jon threw on his sun glasses as he hit the sunlight. Sports reporters and photographers were asking him questions about the next match he was having. How he thought he was going to bring down Joffrey Baratheon in the next game, the lead striker for Kings Landing. He just pushed past them, and waved for a taxi. One of the male reporters took photos of him as he reached in his back pocket to see 10 missed texts from Robb and Arya asking him what had happened. Two calls from Sam and a slightly angry text message from Gilly. Which was expected. The taxi pulled up and he hopped in, ignoring the questions about his love life. He didn’t know, so why the fuck should they know.

**

Jon walked into the front door of his apartment complex. Standing by the mailbox slots was a redhead. And that redhead, he could tell every personal part of her body, her emotions, what made her tick. Yes, that redhead he he knew quite well. In fact he's pretty sure they have both been trying to avoid the enatabable. Avoiding of making contact with each other. But Before he could turn on his heels and run out of the building she turned around. Her blue eyes wide with surprise, mouth slightly agape. Her pencil skirt she wore to work hugged her curves just they he remembered. He could still remember her skin, and how every inch and curve fit perfectly in the palm of his hand.

“Hello.” Sansa said squeaking out. Giving a slight nod. He hasn’t seen her, since the party they had to attend. Both giving polite conversation as to not arouse suspicion.

“Hello.” He replied with a raspy voice. Jon looked at the stairs to see that they were blocked by someone moving furniture up them. So the only choice was to use the elevator.

With her.

Alone.

Walking over to the sliding doors, they both stood there silently. Not looking at eachother. He remembered a lot times he would reach over and enclasp her hand into his pulling her into his apartment before she could go into her own. But he couldn’t do that anymore. Even though he desperately wanted to. Or the time, Jon and Sansa were both a little tipsy from the bar, she more than him, and they couldn’t wait to start kissing eachother until the elevator made its way up. He couldn’t do that either.

The doors opened with a ding, drawing him out of the fantasy world he was in. The awkwardness that settled over them was almost deafening. He wanted to talk to her, hear her voice say his name. Wanted to feel her lips crashed against his own as he moved above her, or even after how she would lie in his arms whispering things to him. But he just couldn’t say anything. She turned to him about to say something, when his bloody phone started to ring hat annoying tone, pulling it out and saw a number no name. Answering it, with a sorry nod to her. A little happy for the distraction.

“Hello?” He said looking over at Sansa who started to play with her hands.

“Same old greeting? I thought for a second I was going to go straight to voicemail.” Happy feelings over a little distraction disappeared at the sound of her voice. They were two floors away from their own, and he started to feel the panic rising in his chest.

“We haven’t talk in a while. Why did you call me?” His voice was even. Knowing full well, that Sansa could hear both of them. The elevator noise wasn’t loud enough to drown her out.

“I’m in town! Wanted to know if you had time to see an old friend? I was thinking dinner. We have so much to catch up on. And can’t a girl with miss you. Even if you did brood a lot.” Sansa looked at him through the corner of eyes. Knowing who it was. The voice that used to bring him so much joy, was now like acid to his ears, knowing Sansa could hear what she was saying. Wishing she didn’t take anything she said as something it wasn’t.

“Its been two years. Why did you start missing me now?”

“Come one Jon! My favorite place. The won with the view of all of Winterfell.” Her voice rang with a light bell to it. Jon knew he wasn’t getting out of it. Or she would come over and knock on every damn door in this apartment complex.

“Alright, I’ll see you at 8:00. At the Wall.” He said, with a bit of kindness. Truth be told he truly did miss talking to Ygritte. The girl may have left him broken, but she was still a friend deep in his heart.

“Sounds wonderful! I have excellent news! I can’t wait to see you later.” She said. The doors opened as he ended the call. Sansa stepped out and Jon followed, neither looking at eachother. Both knowing who he was seeing later on tonight. Jon was busying himself trying to find his key, his hands were starting to quiver from the tension.

“Ygritte?” Sansas soft voice rang through the hall. Jon turned to see her back to him, her hand firmly on the door knob.

“Yes.” He said, his tone was a little harsh. Shutting his eyes at how cruel he was sounding, even to himself.

“I’m happy for you.” She said, opening her apartment door and slamming it shut behind her. Jon turned fully to her closed door and walked over, raising his hand. Wanting to knock and tell her, Ygritte meant nothing to him, that it was all a misunderstanding, but he knew that at least some of it was lie. Some where he still had some sort of feelings for the girl, even if she did leave him, a mess. Sansa was there to fix him. He was confused, and didn’t know what to do. Sansas soft sobs were muffled by the door but he could hear them. Knowing that he was causing her this pain, made him feel sick. He should be holding her not being the one to make her cry. His hand gripped the knob tightly.

“I’m sorry.” His voice was soft, and he was pretty sure she didn’t hear it through the wood. Turning quickly on his heels he pushed himself off of her door and quickly opened his own. Slamming it shut behind him.

Sam and Gilly were sitting on the couch, watching one of Gilly’s favorite programs. Ghost sitting on his floor pillow, Sansa had made him. Jon couldn’t take it anymore. Both heads looked at him as he started to cry. The tears were coming down hard. He lost her, over something that probably no longer existed. He cared about Ygritte just not as much as he truly cared for Sansa. Gilly ran over and wrapped her arms around him, comforting me like a mother does a child. Ghost started to whine at his companions tears, and licking them off of his face. Jon felt ashamed and ruined, at losing one of the best things that ever happened in his life.

“I know nothing.” He whispered as Gilly tried to sooth him, and Sam went to get him some water. “I know nothing.” His face buried in Ghost’s fur, and holding onto Gilly’s arms.

***

She was late as always. Jon was sitting at their table in the back looking over the sky rise of the biggest city in the Northern part of Westeros. Winterfell City, was known for its big hotels, beautiful snow flurries and winter roses. Sansa’s favorite flower.

“Jon!” Ygritte called as she made her way over to their reserved table. A waiter falling her. Jon stood as a gentleman as he always had. Ygritte didn’t even hesitate to wrap her arms around his neck. She let go almost as soon as she had encircled him.

“Ygritte.” He said with a slight upturn of his lips. Even though she was still beautiful as the day she left him, he knew that Sasna was wrong about her hair. Her auburn hair wasn’t as silky looking as Sansas. It was even a darker shade than hers. Jon noticed the few changes in his ex girlfriend. She didn’t have a crooked smile anymore, and her teeth were whitened recently. Her dress had to be from the high end markets from Essos. And she also seemed to have put on some weight. But not in a bad way. Jon tried to not notice it, but she also seemed to have this small glow to her.

“This is beautiful!” She said with a smile that was as big as he remembered.

“Its nice.” Jon said taking a sip from his water. He had a game tomorrow, it wouldn’t help him to get plastered. Not when he's facing Sansa’s mentally and physically abusive ex on the field.

“Don’t be a sour puss Jon Snow! Not when I’m this excited!” She said, enclosing her hands with his. Thats when noticed it. The cold metal on his right hand. On her ring finger, she had a diamond engagement ring laced with rubies, her favorite gem, lying on her finger.

“Ygritte?” He asked, looking at it.

“Oh, this little thing!” She said picking up her hands and twirling it. Her smile got even bigger. “Thats what I have to tell you! I’m getting married Jon! I’ve never been more excited.” Jon could see the time spent apart had actually done her wonders. Ygritte hated the thought of getting tied down to a man. She told Jon, that they could be lovers for the rest of their lives, but she was never going to get married.

“I thought you hated the idea of marriage?”

“OH, I do. I still do. I’m refusing to wear the white gown and veil. But when his mother found out that I’m pregnant-”

“Pregnant?” Jon’s eyes widened at the world.

“Hush! I’m telling a story Jon Snow. Anywho, when his mother found out I was pregnant, she said, either this, or get an abortion. because no son of hers will ever have a bastard.” She said with a mock stern voice. “Well I couldn’t let that happen, so were getting married in a month.” She said happily. “You didn’t think I was getting fat did you?” His mouth was slightly gaped, as he stared down at her stomach. Yes a lot has changed with his former lady love. The wild child, had seemed to be wild no more. Something in Jon’s mind just clicked. He knew that he no longer was in love with Ygritte. Jon loved her, but as one loves a old friend. They had grown up together, and she was always there to support his career. As he was with hers. They were best friends since middle school. Sticking together no matter.

“Who is this unlucky man?” Jon joked to Ygritte.

“You are cruel.” She swatted at his hand. “Hes a transfer from the Meeran, Unsullied. You know, those tough as nail bastards. As I was writing reports, he asked me out, and I couldn’t say no. And I haven't really ever since.”

“Its good to see you smile Ygritte.”

“I didn’t smile a lot the last couple of months we were together did I?” She said with a sad look on her face.

“I didn’t smile that much when you left.”

“Jon, we wouldn’t have made it in the end. We both know that. In the end, I couldn’t stand you. I’m pretty sure if I had the chance, I would have put an arrow through her heart if I could. We fought constantly. It was best for both of us. I see that now.”

“I see it now as well.” Jon agreed, smiling at Ygritte. She was right. Looking back at the last couple of months before she left him for Essos, they fought none stop. She didn’t want him to really play with crows. Thought he belonged on a better team. And he thought she was just being selfish, for following her dreams, and not thinking of them. But it was he who was just being selfish.

“Good, now we both understand that. Tell me, has anyone stolen my Jon’s heart since I’ve been gone?” She said with a teasing tone. Jon’s smile he had fell from his face. He knew that he had to tell Ygritte about Sansa. Knowing that he really needed someone to talk to about his feelings, that wasn’t as close to the situation as anybody else.

“Sansa Stark.”

“The designer?” She asked eyebrows raised. “As in Joffrey Baratheon's ex-fiance, Sansa stark?” Ygritte’s tone was almost in disbelief.

“Yes, I’m in love with her, and I fucked up.”

“What else is new?” Ygritte rolled her eyes as she took a swig of her water. “So tell me about her.”

And Jon did.