Crash

The usual morning routine before my dad died went a little like this; my alarm would go off at quarter to seven just enough time to get up and shower grab something to eat and be out the door by eight. Giving me just enough time to get to school and have a little time to spend with my friends before class. Dad would already have left for work by the time I awoke. While mum would get Emily up and dressed, and get her a good breakfast before she drove her to the primary school.

Today; my alarm went off and I got up to shower like normal got dressed put a little makeup on to cover the dark circles under my eyes and then headed down stairs to find breakfast. Except the house was dead quiet and there was nothing in the cupboard for breakfast, not even a loaf of bread. Heading back up the stairs I figured mum was running a little late getting Emily ready so as I opened Emily door to find she was still sound asleep I went for mums room next.

“Mum we’re running late, you got to get Emily up now.” She answers me with a sob like even in her semi half asleep state she was still sobbing.

“I can't…” She mumbled before rolling back over, turning her back on me.

“Fuck,” I muttered before heading back to Ems room.

“Baby its time to get up” I tried to lul her out of her slumber “come on sweet girl.” I said getting a pair of tights and a top out of her wardrobe for her to wear, braiding her hair to the side just as she liked and then helping her slip her pink sneakers on.

“What do you think of a McDonalds breakfast?” I asked and she only nods her head. I crouch down so I'm level with her and softly tell her “It's okay to talk to me you know?” She nods but still doesn't speak, “you can tell me what happened or what you remember, or you can tell me what you want from MacDonalds.” She nods and I know she understands but she's still not ready. She was in the accident with my dad that was a week ago and she is still not ready to talk and what worries me is how long before she is ready. Instead of pushing her I pick her up and run down stairs grabbing both out school bags on the way and strapping her into my car were both gonna be late but it's the best I can do.

“If you’re late to school for a while it's okay I'm sure your teachers understand,” The lady in the office says as I go in to get a late slip. Three late slips in one week and I get detention, she's telling me I can have special provisions but I don't want any, I don't want anything out of the ordinary.

“That's okay it won't be necessary.” I reply and it won’t mum will be better tomorrow this won't become a routine. I tell myself. And with that I let myself out and attempt to finally get to class.

“Olivia…” His voice makes me stop and close my eyes, I spin and turn around to face him in a furry. I knew he was out there I was just hopping he wasn't waiting for me. I know I can have it out with him here everyone is in class, no one will see us but I don't have the energy.

“What do you want Braydon?” I ask and I know he can feel my anger he recoils ever so slightly

“I don't know I just, are you okay?”

“You had no right to be there,” My voice is thick with emotion but I won’t show him anymore I won't show him how I'm feeling.

“I know,” He mumbles

“Just leave me alone Braydon,” I mumbled before heading straight to class.

At lunch I sit with my normal group every girl as beautiful and upbeat as the next, they giggled and speak about a party this coming weekend and they try to include me they really do I'm just really not paying much attention. Even as I'm curled up under Jason's protective arm I don't want to be there and he can barley coax two sentences out of me in the full hour and to top it off his arm feels incredibly heavy.

I pick up Emily after school and she helps me go grocery shopping after school she points out thing she wants and I throw them in the trolley.

“What do you want for dinner?” I ask her trying once again to get her to speak
Instead she picks up a packet of Mac and cheese out of the trolley and I stop trying to get her to talk for the day.

When we get home mum has made it to the couch but that's it I don't think she's done a thing all day so I make the three of us dinner and then head up to my room.

I'm not really shocked when mum doesn't get out if bed the next morning but it does make me a little nervous. And so the week progress much the same I'm only late twice and by Friday I can feel the effects of the past week have really taken a toll on me. I'm not sleeping cause I'm so worried about mum and the fact Em still won't speak, I got home Thursday afternoon to find a recorded message on the house phone from her school questioning us about her. Turns out mum couldn't even pick up the phone during the days. So I had to explain everything to her teachers and get them to call me instead of my mother if they needed anything else. And to top it off I miss my dad more then I imagined I could miss anyone in my life, I didn’t realise until now how vital he was to this family. I miss him asking me how my day was when I get home from school and hassling me about spending more time with Emily. I as I lay in bed each evening I'm just incredibly sad.

“Talk to me about it” Jason provokes Friday at lunch in front of a cafeteria full of people and I shake my head at him “come on Livie how are we supposed to help you if you won't talk to any of us about it?” And I know the whole table heard that one, and I realised later that Braydon on the table next to us had probably heard as well. But I don’t want there help what are they gonna do for me anyway? They couldn't get mum out of bed or make Emily speak, or bring back my dad so what was the point, plus I’m doing just fine on my own.