Lux

Redd has been taken.
By savages.
Redd has been taken by savages.
Redd has been taken.

The words run through my mind over and over again. I can hear Sevyn's voice as she calls my name, but it sounds so distant, like an echo. Redd has been taken to Penance to die. I look at Zach's frozen face, eyes open but lifeless. He is dead. Zach's face is replaced by Redd; I imagine Redd like there, face frozen, those green eyes I love so much are lifeless. I have to bite back a grimace at the image.

"He promised he would come back," I moaned, tears welling up in my eyes.

"Stop it, Lux!" Sevyn snaps, I look at her shocked by her tone. Even in the slight darkness I can see her anger. "Snap out of it! We need to get Zach out of here and find some place to hide."

Sevyn's reaction jolts me out of my self-pity and back to the moment at hand. Sevyn is right, we can not leave Zach out in the open like this, it's inhumane. We need to hide his body and in the morning we can attempt some kind of burial. I look around and spot a sturdy looking building.

"In there," I point with my hand behind Sevyn.

We lift Zach, Sevyn has his arms and I have his feet, and carry him to the building. There is dust and ash everywhere, covering every surface thickly. It is dark inside, but the light of the moon is enough to made out shapes and shadows. There are tables, chairs, broken glass: all scattered and turned over. The air carries a putrid smell of rotting carus, probably a dead animal. We set Zach down away from the entrance, then Sevyn and I head further into the building in search of a place to rest. The entrance is large, tiles line the floor; broken now but they were once beautiful, and on the ceiling hangs opulent crystal lights. We walk around, taken by the place. It was once a grand place I imagine. On one side is a wooden wall behind a counter. It must have been a book shelf, but there were no books. I walk over to the counter and find small plastic cards. I pick one up, sliding my fingers over it to clear the dust.

"H-holiday Inn?" I read hesitantly. Reading is not my strongest suit. Schools were inconsitant and limited in the camp. Most of the teachers died anyway.

Sevyn walks towards me and peers at the cards. "Yeah, it says Holiday Inn." She confirms.

"It must have been beautiful." I muse, for a moment I try to imagine what it was like. Clean, bright and milling with people. There were metal doors to one side, about four of them. They must have been elevators.

"Look, stairs." Sevyn points to a grand wooden staircase leading up to another level.

Curious I walk towards it, yet Sevyn grabs my arm and pulls me back.

"It's wood, it could be rotten." If it were rotten I would fall through.

And probably die. Like Redd. Who is taken by savages.

I am almost immediatly taken up by panic again, but I take a deep breath to try subdue it before it completely overwhelms me.

"Come on, we need to rest."

We settled behind the counter, hidden from plain sight, and dusted away some of the dirt. I sat down and learned against the wall of the counter and brought my knees up under my chin. I stared at the dust in front of us, I focused on it until everything around me blurred out.
Redd was going to die.
I took in a deep breath of air suddenly and shuddered. When I closed my eyes I felt a tear slide over my cheek. I had done so much crying lately, more than I ever had in a while. This needed to end, I had to change that.

"We can go find him." My voice broke through the silence.

I surprised myself at the sudden statement. Sevyn turned her head sharply, unsure if she heard me correctly. She was looking at me like I had completely lost my mind, it was possible.

"How Lux? He's probably--" She stumbled on the last part. I knew what she was going to say, I was very aquanted with the idea that Redd could be dead.

Sevyn shifted to face me, her right hand on the ground and her left resting on her knee. Her face was riddled with remorse. For the first time Sevyn was the one who looked like she was about to cry.

"Not necessarily. Penance is a long way, Lux." I explained. "Even then, they wouldn't kill them then. Redd was with Zach, Ari and Xoli; they probably also picked up other people on the way. They're not gonna kill and eat them all at once."

I cringed at my words, thinking about people held captive waiting to be eaten for dinner. I stuck my head between my knees and breathed deeply. This seemed like a bad idea. Like walking into a visible trap. But it was Redd.

"Lux, we spend most of our time trying to stay out of the savages way. Now you're suggesting we walk right into their territory?" She ranted, shaking her head.

"This is Redd, Sevyn! Don't you think he'd do the same for me?"

Sevyn could not argue with that, I could see her conviction faulter. She blinked a few times then looked away from. She seemed to ponder this for the longest time. My heart beat was begining to pick up, I could feel my hands get damp with sweat. I was trying to be brave, but fear began to grip me again.

"I will do it." Sevyn broke her silence.

Sevyn reached out and touched my hand, then gave me a slight nod. Her expression changed from trepidation, to pride.

"This I very brave, Lux. I will go with you all the way."

Was it brave though? How was I brave when right at this moment I felt like the air was getting thin and I was struggling to breathe? My bottom lip quivered and I took it between my teeth.

My father raised me to be able to fend for myself if he was ever gone. I could find food, trap an animal, I knew how to use my bow and arrow. But I never really had to be alone, I never had to hunt or fend for myself. And now I not only had to deal with the loss of my father; now Redd was gone. I looked at Sevyn and shook my head.

"Do you think this is a bad idea?" I hoped she would say yes, that she would try to talk me out of it.

Sevyn's eyes filled with sympathy. She had witnessed my panic attack. She knew what it was like for and she understood.

"Yes," she replied, "but it must be done."

I leaned my head back and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to slow my breathing. I was angry. I was furious at myself. I slammed the palm of my hand onto the ground, reigning in my emotions. Why was I so afraid when I knew Redd would do this for me, without hesitation, without a second thought he would come a find me? He would do it even if he knew he would die. But I was crippled by fear, I was terrified at the idea. If the thought crippled me, how much more if I tried?

I shook my head and angrily wiped my tears away. No more crying. No more cowering in the corner while everybody else dies for me. I was not going to let Redd die without me trying to save him. I cannot let him think I did not try. I was going to go to Penance. I was going to find Redd. And I was going to save him, even if it meant I died trying.