Status: I kinda suck at updatng (especially since I never get any reads anyway), but I kinda like this plot so I'll try.
Previous Catfished Story
*** you, Lindsay
It is 5 o’clock and I just got home from work and I’m sitting on my couch, my computer on my lap, scrolling through Tumblr posts and re-blogging a few, what can I say? I have the heart of a 14 year old white girl. I am typing out the tag #Morrissey when there is a knock on my door, so I hop up, set my computer on the couch and walk over to the door and open it without much thought, but I am shocked to see the two familiar faces of Max and Nev.
“Hello, Gerard.” Nev says, I’m guessing he’s the head of the whole… operation. I glance behind them and see several men with cameras and Max is holding a small one. I don’t like being recorded.
I wave to them and glare at the cameras for a moment and there is just an awkward silence for a minute, then I say, “Um… Do the cameras have to be here recording?” I ask quietly and Nev bites his lip.
“Look man, we have to make a profit from this episode, or else you’d have to pay for us helping.” He says and I sigh and nod.
“Very well I suppose… I’ll live with them.” I say.
After that awkward starter, we sit down at my couch and I pull out my computer and bring up pictures of Lindsay and show them our conversations and her Facebook profile. We talk a bit about how the next two or three weeks is going to go and I half listen, but I’m mostly worried that Lindsay isn’t real and that I have been talking to a 50 or 60 year old horny man… I worry that the love I’ve out forth towards this woman could be all for nothing. All of the ‘I love you’s were laughed at and every intimate talk was shown to friends and laughed at even more. What if I am a sucker? No, I can’t be, not me. No, I’m not gullible. I’m smart, she’s real. She has to be.
After about their explanation of what they are going to do and how their time with me is going to work out, they start asking me questions. “How did you two meet?” Was the first one and it was asked by the grey haired Max.
“Well, I was on Facebook just scrolling through my feed, not doing anything really when this beautiful woman by the name of Lindsay sent me a friend request, which I immediately accepted. Once we were declared ‘friends’ by the online server, she sent me a message that basically just said ‘Hi, I saw your profile on my friend’s page and you seemed cute so I decided to shoot you a request, if you were wondering.’ And we talked for like another hour, I do have to admit, she was a bit flirtatious since the beginning, but it was just adorable… So we talked a bit more the next day and so on for about a week, then I gave her my phone number so it would be easier to talk and we talked that way and we’ve talked ever since.”
“Does anyone besides you know about Lindsay? Or at least the fact that you two are pretty serious?” Max asks.
“Yeah.” I say, “Everyone does. When people ask me if I’m single, I say no. I just talk about her like she’s right next to me or living with me, because it doesn’t matter if we haven’t met in real life because love is love. Of course, people know she’s online and in New Jersey, and I’m usually teased about it, but yeah. People know.” I sigh and pick at my finger nails and both of them give me a sympathetic look, but they must be experts of that look considering their line of work.
After about a half an hour of talking, asking and answering questions they leave and once again I’m alone on Tumblr searching #TheSmiths tag, so I decide to just text Lindsay like I usually do when I’m bored.
Me: Hey, Linds.
See, I also use ‘Linds’.
Lindsay: Hey, Gee.(: How was your day?
Me: Good, just sitting on Tumblr, how about you?
Lindsay: Good as well, I’m just watching America’s Next Top Model.
Me: Want to FaceTime?
Lindsay: Can’t.
Me: Voice call?
Lindsay: Can’t.
Me: Why can’t you ever even CALL me?
Lindsay: Because I’m always busy.
Me: Well you’re not busy NOW.
Lindsay: My wifi and cable is down.
Ugh, screw her. WAIT A FUCKING MOMENT.
Me: But you’re watching ANTM????
Lindsay: Oh well I’m at Starbucks.
Me: I highly doubt that. You know what? I think you’re fucking lying to me.
Lindsay: I’m not baby, don’t be stupid.
Me: Stupid?! Fuck you.
Fuck you, Lindsay.
“Hello, Gerard.” Nev says, I’m guessing he’s the head of the whole… operation. I glance behind them and see several men with cameras and Max is holding a small one. I don’t like being recorded.
I wave to them and glare at the cameras for a moment and there is just an awkward silence for a minute, then I say, “Um… Do the cameras have to be here recording?” I ask quietly and Nev bites his lip.
“Look man, we have to make a profit from this episode, or else you’d have to pay for us helping.” He says and I sigh and nod.
“Very well I suppose… I’ll live with them.” I say.
After that awkward starter, we sit down at my couch and I pull out my computer and bring up pictures of Lindsay and show them our conversations and her Facebook profile. We talk a bit about how the next two or three weeks is going to go and I half listen, but I’m mostly worried that Lindsay isn’t real and that I have been talking to a 50 or 60 year old horny man… I worry that the love I’ve out forth towards this woman could be all for nothing. All of the ‘I love you’s were laughed at and every intimate talk was shown to friends and laughed at even more. What if I am a sucker? No, I can’t be, not me. No, I’m not gullible. I’m smart, she’s real. She has to be.
After about their explanation of what they are going to do and how their time with me is going to work out, they start asking me questions. “How did you two meet?” Was the first one and it was asked by the grey haired Max.
“Well, I was on Facebook just scrolling through my feed, not doing anything really when this beautiful woman by the name of Lindsay sent me a friend request, which I immediately accepted. Once we were declared ‘friends’ by the online server, she sent me a message that basically just said ‘Hi, I saw your profile on my friend’s page and you seemed cute so I decided to shoot you a request, if you were wondering.’ And we talked for like another hour, I do have to admit, she was a bit flirtatious since the beginning, but it was just adorable… So we talked a bit more the next day and so on for about a week, then I gave her my phone number so it would be easier to talk and we talked that way and we’ve talked ever since.”
“Does anyone besides you know about Lindsay? Or at least the fact that you two are pretty serious?” Max asks.
“Yeah.” I say, “Everyone does. When people ask me if I’m single, I say no. I just talk about her like she’s right next to me or living with me, because it doesn’t matter if we haven’t met in real life because love is love. Of course, people know she’s online and in New Jersey, and I’m usually teased about it, but yeah. People know.” I sigh and pick at my finger nails and both of them give me a sympathetic look, but they must be experts of that look considering their line of work.
After about a half an hour of talking, asking and answering questions they leave and once again I’m alone on Tumblr searching #TheSmiths tag, so I decide to just text Lindsay like I usually do when I’m bored.
Me: Hey, Linds.
See, I also use ‘Linds’.
Lindsay: Hey, Gee.(: How was your day?
Me: Good, just sitting on Tumblr, how about you?
Lindsay: Good as well, I’m just watching America’s Next Top Model.
Me: Want to FaceTime?
Lindsay: Can’t.
Me: Voice call?
Lindsay: Can’t.
Me: Why can’t you ever even CALL me?
Lindsay: Because I’m always busy.
Me: Well you’re not busy NOW.
Lindsay: My wifi and cable is down.
Ugh, screw her. WAIT A FUCKING MOMENT.
Me: But you’re watching ANTM????
Lindsay: Oh well I’m at Starbucks.
Me: I highly doubt that. You know what? I think you’re fucking lying to me.
Lindsay: I’m not baby, don’t be stupid.
Me: Stupid?! Fuck you.
Fuck you, Lindsay.
♠ ♠ ♠
Sorry if I don't write long chapters, but hey at least there will be a lot of chapters. haha.