Home Is Where the Heart Is

Another four weeks come and go for the Barakat-Gaskarths. Alex has been in a cheerful mood ever since the day he’d found out about his pregnancy, and it turn it lightens Jack’s mood as well. Jack constantly mentions the baby and tries to feel for it, but Alex just laughs and tells him that the baby is about the size of a poppy seed. It will be a few months before he’s showing.

The two men have started thinking about telling their families and friends about the pregnancy. It’s a pretty huge deal, because both Jack and Alex’s families are big with this kind of stuff. Alex is slightly worried about telling his parents though. They haven’t mentioned children to the couple. Not even once. Alex hopes they’ll take it well. But of course, Jack always assures him when he becomes wary that they will be on cloud nine.

Today is the day of Alex’s first visit to the doctor. He’d scheduled the appointment the morning after finding out he’s pregnant, and they’d gone with a Saturday that neither he, nor Jack, had anything planned for. Both men are anxious to go. They’ll get a first look at what’s going on inside Alex. While it may be too early to see much, Alex knows it will be spectacular for them both.

“Are you ready?” Alex hears Jack ask as the younger man bounds down the stairs. Alex is sitting at the table finishing a cup of coffee, and he looks up with a smile when his husband joins him.

“Yeah, babe, just let me drink the rest of this and then we can go,” Alex says.

Jack nods slightly, fingers drumming on the polished wood before him. He seems to be thinking about something, and finally shares. “I’m nervous.”

Alex raises his eyebrows in surprise. It’s unlike Jack to be nervous or scared. He’s always so strong, confident, and sure about everything.

“Why’s that?” Alex asks with curiosity and sets down his coffee mug. Jack gives him an unsatisfying shrug, but then he caves when Alex looks at him flatly.

“It’s just – this is so new to us, Lex. We’ve never had a baby before,” Jack says quietly. Alex’s hand rubs at his shoulder affectionately.

“We can do this. We talked for a long time about getting pregnant and starting a family,” Alex reminds his husband, but he understands where Jack is coming from. He too has a little bit of stress over the whole situation.

But Jack looks a little more confident, so Alex knows he’s done his job. He finishes his coffee and puts the cup in the dishwasher. “Alright, time to hit it,” he says and puts on his shoes by the door.

The two lovers are soon in Jack’s car and on the way to the clinic. They hold hands and listen to music like always, and Alex hums along to their mutual favorite band, Blink-182. Jack thinks Alex has a beautiful singing voice, but Alex is just a little too shy to break out his lyrical voice.

Alex and Jack join once again when they get out of the car and walk towards the building. Alex feels a strange sense of pride as he checks himself in for his prenatal examination. Because that’s right, everyone listening. He’s got a baby. And it’s like Jack can just sense Alex’s glory, as he stands there with a knowing smile while his husband talks just slightly louder than necessary about the pregnancy to the receptionist.

It’s only a short wait until Alex is called back. Part of the reason he and Jack go here is because the nurses and doctors are always on time, unlike every other place in Baltimore. Another reason is how nice everyone is… and that there is a candy dish in the exam rooms.

Alex sits down next to Jack as the nurse types away on her computer. Then she turns to them and smiles cheerfully. “So, you’re here for your first pregnancy check-up?” she asks.

Alex nods happily and the nurse congratulates him and Jack. She takes Alex’s blood pressure, which is ‘perfect!’ in the words of the young nurse, whose name turns out to be Grace. Grace asks Alex a series of questions, and he answers them all honestly. He’s almost offended when Grace asks if he smokes, drinks, or does drugs, but he reminds himself that it’s all part of her job. Finally she tells them that everything looks good to her and that the doctor will be in soon.

Once Grace leaves, Alex turns to Jack and smiles giddily at him. “It’s happening, babe,” he says excitedly, as if Jack wasn’t already aware they were having a baby. He smiles and squeezes his husband’s hand.

“It is.”

Doctor Smith comes in a few minutes later. He has the same joyful smile as Grace and sits down in the chair. He too asks questions, but they are more serious and related to the pregnancy this time. A couple more quick tests are done on Alex, and then the doctor starts telling him and Jack about things they would know. He talks about eating habits and weight gain, symptoms that are normal and abnormal, and the vitamins Alex should start taking. Alex only blushes a small bit when the practitioner informs the couple about sex during pregnancy.

Finally, it’s time for the ultrasound. Alex gets up onto the small bed and lies down on the crinkly sanitary paper. He watches the doctor get the machine and gel ready, and hikes up his shirt to reveal his still-slim stomach.

“This might be cold,” Doctor Smith says with the gel all ready. He’s right, and Alex shivers when it’s spread. He watches the screen intently along with Jack when the probe comes into contact with his stomach.

At first, it’s all just blurry grey stuff. Then something magical happens, because Alex sees a small, dark oval, and inside is a blob.

Doctor Smith smiles and looks between Alex and Jack. “There is your baby.”

Alex starts to tear up and sniffle. Next to him, Jack is stuck with a look of pure awe on his face. Alex wipes the tears tracking down his cheeks and nudges Jack gently. His husband breaks out of his stare and grins widely, which causes Alex to half-sob, half-laugh.

They stay like that for a minute and let their sensitive emotions run free. The doctor prints out a picture of the ultrasound and gives it to Alex.

Alex holds the thin paper delicately, eyes locked on it. He’s so concentrated that he hardly notices the gel being wiped from his stomach. Jack finally pulls down his shirt and kisses his cheek. “It’s time to go, babe,” he says gently.

With just a nod, Alex sits up and hops down from the bed. He watches as he doctor opens a drawer and pulls out a few pamphlets, handing them to Alex. “Read these, please. You can call me whenever with questions, and there are plenty of credible websites you can get information from,” he says.

“Thank you,” Jack says to the doctor and shakes his hand. Alex reciprocates the two words as Jack wraps an arm around him and pulls him close, fitting him to his side. They exit the office with Alex still in a daze. The receptionist shoots them a smile while they leave, giving Jack a knowing look when she spots Alex in his oblivion.

After five minutes in the car, Alex becomes aware of everything again. He grins to himself and rubs his thumb over the ultrasound picture, which is the only thing he sees.

The couple go out to eat to celebrate tonight. Jack takes them to an expensive restaurant that they’ve only been to once. He wants to treat his husband and baby to some fancy cuisine. According to him, Alex has to eat only the finest of foods now that he’s carrying a second hungry person. When Alex tries to protest as Jack drags him into the posh eatery, he only receives a shake of the head and chastising. Apparently, the price doesn’t matter tonight. Jack tells Alex that they deserve it. And they do.