The Last of Us

All the pain I'd faced since the day Sarah died seemed to be harder to overcome than the last... Yet, none of it hurt as badly as when she had fallen silent. Like a bright, beautiful star blinking out of existence... She was gone.

Tommy urged me onward, Sarah miles behind us... Tommy had placed a sympathetic hand on my shoulder two days ago and said it'd be best for me to leave Texas. There wasn't anything there of her anymore and holding onto her was slowing her down. I knew what he meant... But I didn't want to accept it.

But would you?... If you were in my place, would it be so easy for you to leave your child behind? A life in the grave, left behind.. I hated the thought and banished it as much as my mind would allow.

I knew the US pretty well, Tommy did, too. A few years back, on Tommy's birthday, his one request was for us to pack our stuff, rent two Harley's and ride cross-country. Sarah laughed when I told her what we'd be doing and said she'd stay at a friend's house while we did our 'manly ride across the US'.

Those were some of the finer days of my existence. Every day blurred into the next and I just kept moving with this mindset, similar to the one I'd had then. I remember a few stops along the way, most notably: Atlanta. Tall buildings, lots of people, and a promising hoard of supplies in the stores. Hopefully... Everyone still has their head. This entitles them having hope, still willing to share their community with one another and build back up from the ground. Maybe that's already gone and nothing more than a pipe dream.

Regardless... Tommy and I planned on that city. We'd stop in Atlanta, there will be refugee centers open there, we can get out of the open. Because God knows these infected people aren't sane anymore. Anyone who could launch themselves at the hood of a car, rip open the doors and tear an entire family to bits is far from sane.

"Joel?..." Tommy called from behind me a few steps. I wasn't going to stop, if that's what he was going to ask. I wasn't, we needed to keep moving. When we stop and rest, that's when they surround us. But honestly?... How bad could it be? It'd be quick, at least.

"Joel!"

Tommy ran up beside me, and grabbed my shoulders, trying to meet my eyes.

"It's time to stop."

"We need to keep moving." I muttered gruffly, offended that he'd even suggest such an awful idea.

"No, we don't. We need food, water and rest. You need rest."

I glared up at him then, and pushed his hands off my shoulders and stepped away from him. "I don't. You do. You can go get your damn food and water, I'm going to Atlanta."

"I get that. You have a plan going and it's hard for you to just break from that. But Joel... We're a hundred miles out..."

"So?" I challenged childishly, reminding myself slightly of the way Sarah would joke around. I shook my head and looked away, pinching the bridge of my nose until her face faded from memory.

"So we're not going just yet. You're going to sleep. You're going to eat and you're going to clean up, before you keel over."

"And if I say no?..."

Tommy's eyes narrowed at me then. "Joel, I ain't fuckin' with you. You don't look good at all. You don't even look alive."

"Great..." I grunted, walking past him. "I was going for that look." I muttered sarcastically.

"What would Sarah say to you if she saw you acting like this?" Tommy demanded quietly a few steps behind me.

I jerked to a halt and spun around to face him, gathering a fistful of his t-shirt in my hand. "Who the hell do you think you are? God dammit, you don't get to bring up Sarah, ever. Do you understand me? She is not to be apart of this conversation. Don't bring her into this just to get me to crack."

Tommy looked apologetic for a second before his expression twisted again. "She'd tell you to take a Goddamned bath..." He sneered angrily.

In under two seconds, my fist connected with his jaw. He stumbled backward a few steps, and like a wounded dog, he reached up to feel the damage, wincing as he touched it.

I leaned over him and pointed at him. "We are done here. We're going to Atlanta and we ain't stoppin' for shit. Do you fuckin' understand me?"

He glared up at me and wiped his lip, slowly straightening out, his face void of any emotion, he shrugged. "Fine. let's get on with it."

I glared down at him for another ten seconds before I turned away, and began working south-west again. I pushed aside ferns and tree branches, the sun fading behind the mountains of what I believed, and according to our dogeared map, we were somewhere in northern Georgia.

I'm not angry. Nevermind, it's something else. I'm just pissed that Tommy keeps bringing up Sarah every chance he gets like it's either going to give me closure or it's going to resurrect her from the grave.

I could hear Tommy's footfalls behind me. Slow and less determined than my own, I just wanted to go. I wanted to get there, I wanted it over. I wanted to restart and figure out where we stood.

Tommy didn't talk to me again for a while. He was probably mad at me like I was mad at him. He didn't lose Sarah like I lost her. It isn't the same kind of love a uncle shares with his niece that a father shares with his daughter. It's like someone took an acid coated jagged blade and cut you in two. Long after the other half is gone, it still burns.

I was the first to break the silence after another mile was behind us, "We'll reach Atlanta within a few days, we'll stop somewhere in between." I grunted reluctantly, I hated having to feel sympathetic towards anyone, especially him. Tommy is my little brother, by a few years, yet, our parents always babied him. Maybe that's why I'm so hard on him now. He usually didn't deserve kind words, he usually kindled himself with the negativity around him.

I thought I heard him sigh in agreement, but I didn't bother checking. We continued to move, and my angry, bitter words ate away at me. I focused on something else, studying the nature we passed, vaulting over rock after rock, climbing tree after tree. I guess I was more physically fit than he was, I mean, I always did this. If me and Sarah were bored... We'd... Uh, lace up our boots, and just go hiking in the woods near the house. We'd play soccer on weekends so she could practice for upcoming tournaments, and we were almost always outside.

We had a Playstation 3 back in Texas... It sat on the bottom shelf of the entertainment center in the living room, rarely played though. Sarah was determined the outdoors were better, but I remember... One evening, she got this new video game for her birthday, played it until four in the morning, maybe it changed her mind on the best way to spend time, I'm not sure. But that became our evening sport. Days off from school and work, we'd hike and hang out. Evenings, we watched movies, played games and practiced guitar.

Nostalgia made my heart feel lighter and I gained a significantly bigger amount of energy. I ducked beneath the branches of an old oak, branches draped in eaves of kudzu vines. I pushed them aside gently and looked ahead, the brilliant orange sunset, settling above an empty town.

A small gas station sat empty, further down the street, a police department without a single cruiser in sight. Department stores with displays left unlit and block after block of dim houses. This little town, set into a green valley of Georgia, left almost unscathed. Maybe from this distance, perhaps. It'd been roughly five days since the beginning, and we'd passed multiple towns abandoned in terror and flames.

"Should we check it out?" Tommy called out from behind me. I paused, resting my left palm against the trunk of a massive tree, looking down on the town, a mile away, at most.

I sighed. "We'd be better off to skip it... But hell, we could use some supplies. Got that gun ready?"

Tommy looked at me in surprise. Either because I'd asked him bluntly to have his weapon ready or because I'd agreed to go into town at all, maybe a mixture of both.

"Er, uh, yeah... How we getting down there?" Tommy asked, approaching the rocky edge, tendrils of thick grass sprawling over the edge.

"We hike it out, it'll be dark by the time we reach city limits, so we'll hole up for a bit."

"Right." he agreed, we looked down at the vacant little town for a few more moments before turning away and rejoining our makeshift trail. Above us, the sky was turning blue and violet, then vermillion the closer it came to the horizon. It would have been beautiful anywhere else... But here, above this sad small town, it was just miserable. And it reminded me, even if for just a moment, that maybe there's no one left; nothing left. And maybe it's just us. Me and Tommy, working towards a goal that may not exist. Radio stations have been blinking out, one by one,everyday. electricity becoming a rare occurrence, and the life was slowly draining from civilization.

Well then, I guess if it is as bad as I'm guessing, the good thing will be that there is no one else to pig supplies. All of them, mine and Tommy's for the taking. It sounds great now, but how great will it be when we know for sure? When we know it's just us... The last of us.