Love Is a Selfish Thing.

Kellin always hated long car trips but the trip from Oregon to California wasn’t as bad as he had pictured it in his head. He quiet enjoyed the trip, even though it was more than 15 hours in the car...

Kellin had always promised his parents that when he graduated, he would go on holiday with them once more before he went to college and now, he was indeed graduated and later, in August, he would come to college here, in San Diego. That’s why his parents had chosen San Diego as their holiday, it would give Kellin a view of the city before he went to college.

Out of the window he could see the big board with ‘San Diego’ written on it and slowly but surely, his father was driving past the board. Kellin was still looking out the window so he didn’t notice that his sister, Kailey, was talking to him. “Kellin!” She said loudly, “Are you even listening to me?” She asked her brother, Kellin awoke from his trance. “Oh uh no, I’m sorry”, he mumbled, making his sister roll her eyes. “Whatever”, she mumbled and looked out of the window herself.

Their mother laughed softly and shook their head. “I’m sure you two are going to miss each other when Kellin is away”, she laughed but both of them scolded and mumbled a soft ‘no’. This made both their parents laugh. “Sure!” Their dad laughed loudly as he continued driving to the house they’d rented for the summer.

Soon, the car came to a stop before a decent sized two story house which was painted neatly. In front of it was a young man, Kellin guessed he would be maximum two years older than him. He was wearing a beanie and dark sunglasses, a cigarette dangled between his lips. He was skinny, almost too skinny to be healthy. “Hello, are you Michael?” Kellin’s mother asked, the man nodded. The man stretched out his tattooed arm and shook her hand. “Call me Mike”, he smiled. “So, would you like a tour of the house or do I just give you the keys?” He asked her politely.

“Could you show us around, please”, she asked him, Mike nodded and smiled. “Just follow me”, he told them and walked inside the house. Kellin was walking close behind him. Mike showed them every room of the house, also where the electricity cupboard and the hot water boiler were. When they got upstairs, Kellin got a weird vibe from Mike. He suddenly wasn’t as cheerful as he was before. “Here, upstairs, are three bedrooms and a bathroom, I think that’s it?” He rattled quickly, Kellin’s parents both nodded. When Mike handed them the keys they thanked him while he walked out.

“Can we pick rooms?” Kailey asked, their parents nodded. Kailey immediately called the room which faced the backyard hers, which left Kellin with the room directly across hers. When he opened the door, he was met with a decent sized room. When you entered the room there was a single bed with a nightstand right in front of you, against the left wall was a big wardrobe and against the wall the door was in stood a desk. The walls were painted grey. It looked cosy enough for him. Quickly, he jogged back downstairs to get his bags upstairs. They were kind of packed full because he wasn’t going back to Oregon after this so everything in his bags was due to come with him to college.

On the bed, there was only a matrass so he had to make the bed. His mother told him she would come upstairs to help him if he struggled with it but Kellin didn’t find it hard to do. First, he put his pillow and his duvet into their right covers and then started on the matrass cover. Kellin soon came to realization he had to pull the bed away from the wall to do that. When he pulled the bed away from the wall, a soft thud sounded. What was that? Kellin pulled the bed even more forward to see what it was.

On the floor there was a small, black book. There the hell did that came from? Kellin picked up the book and opened the soft-cover. ‘Diary of Victor Vincent Fuentes’ was written in it in a messy but cute handwriting. Kellin laid the book on his nightstand and resumed to make his bed. When his bed was made Kellin couldn’t stop himself and turned the page around to read the first entry.

January 2nd,
So, I think I should introduce myself, shouldn’t I? Well, I’m Vic, as interesting as that is. I’m seventeen years old and I live in San Diego, not that it matters.
I have a mother, Vivian, a father, Victor, and a brother, Mike. I also have a boyfriend, his name is Jaime and I love him, a lot. My best friend is called Tony, he’s a shy guy when you meet him but when you know him, he’s the sweetest guy you’ll ever meet. I enjoy playing the guitar, singing and writing songs, see: I’m not the most interesting person…
I’m not sure who got me this ‘diary’ or why I am keeping one but I think it’s better than keeping your feelings inside, right? Well, in that case: I am bullied, badly, for being gay.
What does that has to do with anything? Nothing, I know right! They’re just stupid assholes who want to make my life a living Hell and much to my despise, they are winning. I can’t drown my demons, they know how to swim, unfortunately.
The scars on my wrists and thighs are getting more frequent and deeper, every time I do it there flows more blood than the last time. I can’t help myself, I find relief in it. There’s absolutely no one who wants me, I’m just a filthy human being who ruins everyone’s life. My parents, my brother, my boyfriend, my friend, no one wants me….
I’m just doomed to grow old alone, unloved.