Late Goodbye

„I feel like you’re stalking me,” I puckered my eyebrows as I looked over his muscular built, holding a half empty Corona in his hand. My jaw clenched as I moved my eyes away.

„You’re not that hard to track...” He could’ve been a detective, cause I thought of myself as pretty much untraceable, thank you very much. „If you’re sober...” Suddenly he spoke just inches from my ear. I closed my eyes and swallowed heavily. The smell of beer hit me unexpected and for a moment there I almost lost any remains of my dignity, hearing how he drank the last bit of the beverage and threw the bottle in the ocean. You know what I wanted to do? I wanted to kiss him... No, not for the reason most of the people do, I wanted to kiss him, because I wanted to taste the beer. Now you all know how fucked up I really was. I thought I had gotten over it, but there always were these little things that reminded me of my addiction.

„You want to tell me what happened today?” My eyes opened to see, he was frowning, not understanding what exactly I meant. „After the studio. You were off. What happened?”

„Nothing,” He offered me his elbow, and I gladly took the offer, „Did I offend you earlier?” He was eying me carefully, placing his other hand over my fingers. Why was he so concerned out of the sudden?

„No,” I frowned, looking in his soft browns. There was a line of his smudged eyeliner going over his cheek, I stopped and tried to wipe it away with the surface of my thumb, „What the hell have you been doing?” Brian didn’t answer, he just had this goofy smile on his face, which left me even more confused. „Dude, you’re creeping me out...”

„I just...” He kept looking at me as we went further, „I remember the first day I met you.” Too bad it was kind of blurry for me, but knowing myself, I was pretty much an asshole. „You were an asshole, sorry... but it’s the truth.”

„No hard feelings,” My lips curved in to this half smile as I watched over my sand covered black cowboy type boots. And what did I say?

„And now you’re fixing my make up...” I knew he was still looking over me. Overly familiar voices emerged from afar. Was I ready to see them? Sure I was, I had been seeing them for couple of the last weeks, but the real question was- was I ready to see them with alcohol?

„You’re a guy... You shouldn’t be wearing make up.” I raised my head to see Jimmy throwing one of the girls over his shoulder and going for the ocean. He was one of the rare people, who I got truly scared off. The reason was simple enough, find me a single person who wouldn’t call Jimbo insane.

„Sweeney Todd called... He wants his style back.” I jerked my head. Oh no he didn’t... But he did. His cocky smirk. If I wasn’t so mindblown and my jaw hadn’t dropped slightly, I would’ve punched that smirk away. I looked nothing like Sweeney Todd for god sake! Maybe except for the wild hair and pale complexion, but that was it. I elbowed his side.

„Look what the cat dragged in!” Zacky shouted as he noticed me, making others turn their heads towards us. I saw Michelle, who was sitting on the beige blanket and instantly tried to pull my arm out of Brian’s. Yeah, tried... that’s the right word. Brian coerced his upper arm to his side, trapping me. I looked at him in question, and noticed him sending a warning look to Jimmy, who had already put the girl down and was coming with a bottle of tequila towards us.

„I’ll have a drinking buddy finally!” As tempting as it sounded, I really did not want to take part in this adventure. I liked to live dangerously, but we’re treading on a very thin ice at the moment. Even if I was allowed to drink, I wouldn’t do it with Jim. God knew I wasn’t that insane.

„Rev,” Brian eyed him warningly. I felt very guilty for the tension I brought with myself. There was no need for Brian to act like the furious big brother. I could handle this. At least I thought so.

„It’s okay, Brian.” I smiled, tugging a strand of my dark hair behind my ear. „You guys have something for kids?” I looked over Matt who was popping open a bluish can of beer.

„I was talking about you Gates,” Jimmy came towards Brian with an insane grin and a newly opened bottle of Patron. It seemed like the thought scared him even more than the thought of me drinking with Jimmy.

„I think we have some... pepsi?” A blond girl, very similar to Michelle was leaning over a sort of picnic basket. „Honey, were is it?” Who was the lucky one? Brian loosened his grip, taking the bottle from Jimmy as they laughed over something.

„It has to be in there...” So it was Matt? If only the wind wouldn’t be blowing a layer of my hair straight in my face, I believe everyone would’ve seen my confused look. And it grew even more confused when I saw the small bump her tummy happened to be. I pulled one of the scrunchies off my wrist and made my hair in a pony tail, to keep them from falling in my face.

„Matt, I can’t find it...” She stood up, letting Matt take control of the scavenger hunt as she put her hand over her belly. I turned my head to look at Michelle, who was wearing her ridiculous glasses still, a big black hat and was sipping on something brown. I knew exactly where the last bit of pepsi was. In her glass. Along with the bourbon.

„It’s okay guys... Really.” I came closer to Matt and the blond girl. Even when I went around Michelle, she acted like I didn’t exist. Had I insulted her in any way? If I truly had- excellent I’ll keep insulting her even more. „I think we haven’t met before,” I stretched out my hand, „I’m Jill.”

„Oh, I’m so sorry... I’m Valary.” Her brown eyes looked me over, asking almost as if I was truly talking to her. After a brief pause she wiped her hand around her gorgeous black dress, before she reached out for mine. She seemed like a lovely person. „I’m Matt’s wife and Michelle’s sister.” Sister? All jokes aside? I hope there’s only one rotten apple in the tree if that’s the case.

„And a soon to be mother, I see.” I smiled, seeing her lit up as Matt came and snaked his arm around her bare shoulder. „To be quite frank, I didn’t know Matt was neither married, neither a soon to be father.”

„If you’d come to the studio more often, you’d know a lot more than that.” Matt laughed and it looked like Valary realized something.

„You’re their producer? The same pain in,” Matt punched her side gently, cutting her short. „Sorry...” She blushed in the darkest shade of dark red.

„It’s okay... Jesus.” I sent Matt an angry stare, as if I already didn’t know that every insult they knew, was referable to my magnificent persona. I chuckled soon after. „I’m a bitch only in the studio.” Some may dare to disagree, tho I didn’t consider myself that bad now when I was not pissed at my musicians and when the hangover didn’t hit. With the corner of my eye, I noticed Brian flunking down beside Michelle, Jimmy handing him yet another shot glass of tequila. Zacky was talking with Johnny and their girls were leaning against their sides. It seemed like only me and Jimbo didn’t have a pair. Perfect. The insane attracts the insane.

„You mind walking with me?” I was looking at Jimmy downing shot after shot and didn’t realize Valary was talking to me. „Jill?”

„Huh?” I jerked my head, placing my hands in the back pockets of my pants.

„You mind... taking a walk with.. me?” She seemed either very scared or very, very insecure. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it just yet. She raised her head to look questioningly at Matt, as if asking either she could’ve done it or not. Matt just smiled warmly.

„Yeah, sure.” I didn’t have anything better to do either way.

We walked a good distance from them, before Valary got the courage to speak. „You’re living with Brian, right?” She had hooked her fingers under her belly as we paced along the shore. I turned my head to look at her. „Sorry... I just... Michelle is dating Bri and I don’t want him hurting her. I just wanted to know if, what Chelle thinks,” She couldn’t finish the sentence. The girl was really afraid of me. But why? And what did Michelle think. That me and Brian slept together? Well, we did, but in a fully different manner than everyone understood the phrase.

„You’re asking if we’re having sex, right?” I chuckled, trying to lighten up her mood. I wasn’t as bad as people described me. „Thank god no. He’s helping me get rid of my drinking problem.” Yes, I know I was very blunt, but look what happened if people decided to conceal something. They decided me and Brian are having sex, because of me living in his house and him dating another girl. To think about it, it was kind of sick and twisted, but oh well...

„Your,-„

„I’m an alcoholic, that’s right,” I explained, the smile never leaving my face. Me and Valary talked for another couple minutes. She asked me of how did it happen and why did I do the things that I did and I realized with each person I told the story to, it became easier to... live, I suppose. My life became more joyful. It was like this heavy weight had been taken off my shoulders and I had a place in my life for joy. I didn’t know for how long we’ve been talking, but Michelle and Brian came by. Michelle was holding her bag in her left hand while her other was wrapped around his waist.

„Where are you going?” Valary frowned seeing Brian drunk to a point where he was barely standing. I could care less for Michelle's fake, innocent smile, it was Brian who bothered me.

„He’s drunk, he needs to go home,” She explained, with a fake concern hidden somewhere under that big hat. Thank god she was smart enough to take the glasses off.

„You have your keys?” I spoke to Brian, who was trying to fix his vision on me, before searching his pockets and finding nothing. He shook his head, reaching out for my face and gently stroking my cheek, before Michelle pulled him back.

„That’s okay... You’re staying with me, aren’t you, Bri?” She smiled, trying to make him look at her. Yeah, that’s the spirit. I wasn’t stupid, I knew what she had planned, but it seemed Brian was in different thoughts. He tried to pull out of her arm.

„I’m fucked, Chelle... I’m going home.” He slurred, pulling out from Michelle, making her frown greatly.

„What?” She screamed. I saw Val making this face, like she knew what was about to happen.

„I can’t fuck you tonight... I’m barely standing.” Wow, harsh. He was really drunk. Brian tried to make a step forward in which he resulted falling on me. She seemed more pissed than embarrassed seeing how he better went with me than with her.

„You can forget these legs, asshole!” With that she stormed away. Leaving Val, me and a very drunk Brian Haner.

„I’ll call you tomorrow...” Now he was leaning on my side, it felt like I was holding a dead weight, but no... He started walking forward, to my surprise.

„Maybe I’ll call someone to help?” Val asked as she saw me nearly breaking under him.

„Yeah,” I breathed out, not really being sure, how the hell I was still standing, while he was practically laying on me. „That’d be great.” Had he carried me like this? Probably not, if he carried me, than he would surely use his arms, but knowing of my strength which was absolutely no strength at all, this was the only way I could help him. Why oh why didn’t he go with his girlfriend? „How did you get this fucked?” I decided to ask him to make sure he wasn’t sleeping. I would really hurt him, if he really shut his lights off on me like that.

„Jimmy man... And his goddamn tequila.” I noticed his black BMW a good amount of feet away from us. At least I hoped it was his car, after all it was one of the only vehicles left in the parking space and the only one that really looked good.

„Jill!” Matt shouted somewhere behind, catching with us just moments later, taking Brian’s hand and hooking around his neck. Oh my good, how releaved I was. He took almost all of his weight on himself. „Well we’re fucked...”

„What?” I fixed Brian’s arm, from slipping down my shoulder.

„We needed him in studio tomorrow...” We’re getting closer to the car, so my prediction was right and it was his car after all. And he was snoring? What the hell? He had fallen asleep while standing. At least partly. Now that was an achievement.

„Why?” I was roaming through his pocket, picking out the key and soon after looking how the side lamps lit for a second, indicating the car was unlocked. Matt helped me place him in the passenger seat.

„Our producer is coming, she’ll be really pissed,” I buckled his seatbelt, not really even listening to what Matt was saying, more than thinking of how I’ll get him out of the car later. Wait, hold up. Did they have a new producer? Then I saw Matt laughing.

„Ha-ha, very funny.” It will already be morning when I’ll get him out of the car, I don’t think I’ll even get to the studio although I had some work I had to do. Few of my artists had made their albums and I needed to listen them through to know if I could let them travel in the market or not. I got in the driver’s seat and put the key in ignition. „I’ll talk to your producer and explain the situation. Mention booze and she’ll understand.” Will I? Really? Matt shoved his hands deep in his pockets and watched as we drove off.

God damn you, Brian Haner, a month ago I would’ve left you with your face deep in the sand. As for now? I’m carrying your drunk ass upstairs. „I think I’m going to throw up...” Brian murmured as we got to the dark double door of his room. Perfect. The whole night spent in the bathroom. I’ve always wanted to sleep on the cold floor beside bathtub. The first half of the night was spent, praying god for him to stay alive and not to vomit his existence away, and the second- holding his head in my lap, as we both were on the floor, thank god for the rug underneath us, otherwise this unpleasant experience would be far more unpleasant, if that was even possible. As soon as I realized he was breathing and he was not going to die on my, I leaned my head against the cool marble of the tub.