Ever Dream

Sia was lost. Lost not in a sense that she did not know where she was, but in a sense that she was alone in the world, alone in the world with no guide. She was trapped in the body of a young girl with a soul that was more aged and damaged than some adults, and of course, she was very smart, and that made her all the more miserable. Sia was too smart to disillusion herself with the idea that her reality would get better. She’d quickly learned not to do so. Thinking things would get better would merely be a waiting game, waiting for something she knew would never come.

Sighing, the seventeen year old girl, still considered an ignorant child by most, rolled so she was lying on her back, gazing up at the stars. Sia often spent her time outside on the roof of the first story of her house, just bellow her window. She wasn’t allowed on the roof; apparently it was too dangerous for a ‘little girl’ to be outside on the roof at night. If she fell, no one would be there to catch her. She didn’t heed to her father’s rule. Out of all the time she spent on the roof, not once had she fallen. If she wasn’t gazing at the stars, she was listening to her father and mother talk late into the night on the porch bellow, unaware that Sia was there.

Sia’s father was a writer, an author, and every night, after he told her a bed time story, he would tell another story to her mother. Very rarely was it that they exchanged harsh words, or at least, that was the way it seemed. That seemed like so long ago now…

“Sia?” She gasped as she heard her father’s voice call for her and Sia quickly tried to climb back into her bedroom, but upon sticking her head through the window, she saw that it was too late. Sia’s father stood in the doorway with an annoyed, yet wide eyed look on his face. He had a distraught look, but Sia could not even begin to imagine why. Sia’s father stormed across the room, holding out a hand for his daughter to take. Sheepishly, she did so, and he pulled her though the window, closing and locking it in the process.

“Child, what have I told you about sitting on the roof? If you fall, I can’t-“

“Yes, I know, father,” Sia grumbled, interrupting him. She knew her father’s speech on her sitting on the roof by heart. Her father crossed his arms, looking none to pleased.

“I’m not going to fall. After all these times of sitting on the roof, I’ve never gotten hurt. Not once!”

“I do not care,” he snapped. “I will not take the chance of you getting hurt!”

“Oh, what does it matter now, anyway?” Sia barked. Sia’s father let out an aggravated sigh, but then, as he looked at the girl with long, wavy dark hair and fair skin across from him, he was reminded of her beautiful mother, who could convince him that everything would always be alright. That would never happen again, now. Never would he hear her soothing voice, see her beautiful eyes… Sia was the spitting image of her mother, aside from her eyes. She had ice blue eyes, just like her father’s. Meeting his daughter’s eyes, his own softened.

“Sia, you’re all I have left,” her father whispered. Sia would not listen to him.

“Yeah, you remind me every damn day.” Sia’s father arched an eyebrow at his precious little girl’s bitter reply.

“Mind your manners. You are not old enough to speak with such foul language!”

”I’m seventeen!” Sia snapped.

“You are a child,” was her father’s blunt reply. Sia crossed her arms, getting angrier by the minute.

“No, I am not!” Sia yelled finally, her voice as loud as she could get it.

“Do not raise your voice to me, Sia!”

”And just why not?” Sia made no attempt to lower her voice. This only made her father angrier.

“You and your stupid rules,” Sia grumbled under her breath.

“Excuse me?”

“You know what? Now I see why mom left.” Sia watched as her father’s eyes went to the floor. Those words had hurt him, and Sia knew it, however, she could not bring herself to care all that much. Did she want to hurt her father? The answer was no, she was just trying to get him to see things her way. She could take care of herself! He didn’t have to worry.

“Well,” his voice came out weak, almost shaky as he spoke. “If that’s how you feel, you can spend the week wondering why she left. You’re grounded.”

“Good! I don’t care!” Sia’s father left without a word, slamming the door behind him. Sia let out a curse, throwing herself down on her bed. She had handled that wrong, she knew that, and she could admit it. She and her father had been polar opposites since… that night, and since then, they’d done nothing but argue, but deep down they were both feeling the same… lost. It showed in their eyes, it was undeniable. In a time when they needed each other most, they could not find common ground. Sia’s father could not bring himself to tell his daughter that he was terrified of losing her. In a way, he felt as though he already had…

Sia sighed, her gaze moving from the tan walls of her room to the picture on the stand next to her bed. It was a picture of her, her mother and her father. The photo had been taken when Sia was just little, about a year after her parents had married. They looked so happy, Sia thought to herself with a sigh. Why did it have to end?