Canon
thirty eight.
Lizette, I love you!
‘You said that you would never leave me.’ Niall’s voice cracks midsentence, ‘That you would stay with me through all of the dumb ass shit that I do. Remember?’
I turn on the heel of my shoe to face Niall trying to find the words to say. Another deafening shatter of glass filled the air following me cackling cheers. The words were stuck refusing to come out. I slide down into the dark car before driving off, leaving Niall in the crowded yard.
Niall’s Point of View
What the fuck did I just do? I just stood up here like a goddamn idiot confessing my love for her – and she leaves. She actually fucking left. I felt like the biggest semi-truck known to man had crushed me. All the air was knocked out of my numb body, leaving me lifeless. Murmurs echoed off the stairs as people in the house stood and watched. I couldn’t take it anymore. With all of the rage inside of me, I shove my way into the house and tackle Damon right onto the wood floor. I grabbed a fist full of his shirt in my hand while sending my fist down to his face. Over and over – and over. I blacked out. Shouts and squeals filled the air while Zayn of all fucking people pulled me from him. My knuckles stung from the loss of contact while Damon scrambled to his fight – blood dripping from his mouth and nose. I could feel the warm blood seep from my knuckles that were now cut open. Damon stands there trembling with anger while more people rushed in between us.
‘You just fucked up.’ Was all I heard before Zayn drags me out of the house by my shirt.
‘Just go, Niall. Get out of here before it gets any worse.’
I get into my car and slam the door, breaking something I’m sure. I didn’t want to go to that damn apartment where Greg waited to con me out of more money or eat all my food. I couldn’t dare look at Lizette right now or ever for that matter. She didn’t even fucking say it back. She knew how hard it was for me to open up to people. I have never said those dumb ass words to anyone in my entire life and I never will again.
Lizette’s Point of View
I love you. I love you. Niall said that he loved me. I never thought in the time that I’ve known him that he would say he loved anyone. I didn’t say it back. I couldn’t process the words or anyone words in that moment. Of course I loved Niall too. I loved him with every thing in me. I loved him so much that I couldn’t live without him in my life. I loved him so much that it physically hurts when we’re apart. There was no question about it – I loved Niall. The glass being shattered and people shouting from every corner it was the only thing I could focus on. Why would Niall take fifty steps back with all the progress he’s made in his life? Why would he let Damon back into his life and ruin it? Niall swore that he was done with all of it years ago but Damon can come in so easily and change him. My phone buzzes in the seat beside me as I wait at a red light. I thought it was Niall but it was the number that Damon called me on earlier.
You can blame your boyfriend for whatever happens.
I immediately dial Niall’s number to see what was going on but he doesn’t answer. I call again, this time it goes straight to his voicemail.
‘Niall, it’s me. I know that you’re probably pissed at me but I really need to talk to you. It’s about Damon, he sent me some cryptic text. Please, call me back so we can talk or just come by my house – I’ll leave the garage door open.’ I speak before hanging up to dial him again.
That’s when it hit me. I was the only person that Niall could open up to or the only person he actually cared about and I just single-handedly built ten layers around his brick wall. Niall was never going to answer the phone because he was never going to speak to me again.
…
I tossed and turned in the cool sheets, eyeing the door every second. I wanted Niall to walk through that door more than anything but I knew it wouldn’t be that easy. I check my phone for any new notifications but there weren’t any. I stare at the cold words left by Damon trying to decipher what they mean. I need to figure out what happened between Niall and Damon after I left. A car door shuts out by the street and Niall rolls out of the car. I watch silently as he stumbles towards the door nearly falling over in the process. He was drunk. I hurry out of my room to meet him halfway before wakes my parents up.
‘Niall?’ I whisper in the front yard as he falls onto me.
‘Fucking Niall.’ He barks out a laugh leading the way into the house, ‘why is it so goddamn dark?’
‘Did you really drive here like this?! You could’ve killed someone or yourself!’ I speak firmly dragging him into my room and closing the door, ‘Niall what is the matter with you? You never drink.’
‘Well, that’s what you fucking do to me.’ He slurs collapsing in the bed, ‘This is all your fault.’
I distinctly remember Niall saying that he doesn’t’ drink anymore and he hasn’t had a full glass of any form of alcohol in over a year.
‘It’s my fault that you drank?’
‘I opened up to – I threw everything on the line for you and for what? You left me standing there like a goddamn fool. In front of the whole world. I didn’t even fucking do anything. I didn’t sleep with those girls. I didn’t steal anything. I didn’t even touch anything in that old ass house but you get pissed at me for being there. Nice one Lizette. Well, hey at least you broke me.’ Niall rants exhaustedly sitting up in the bed, ‘I said that I love you and you didn’t say a single thing. Do you know how that made me feel? So damn bad that I had to numb myself with alcohol.’
‘Niall, I do love you.’ I confess, even though he was completely out of it and probably wouldn’t remember this very conversation. ‘I love you so much.’
‘I love Lizette.’ He announces to himself, ‘I just want to make you happy and sometimes I think I do a pretty shitty job at it. Do I make you happy?’
‘You do.’
‘Then why don’t you tell your father that? I am sick of hiding in the goddamn shadows waiting for your asshole dad to get off of his high horse and accept that I love his daughter.’ Niall mutters before passing out beside me softly snoring within minutes.
…
Niall moving uncomfortably in bed beside me wakes me at the crack of dawn. He groans before rolling out of the bed and falling onto the carpet.
‘What the fuck?’ His throat was still laced with sleep, ‘Shit.’
‘Are you okay?’
‘Lizette- wh-why am I here? What happened?’
‘You drove yourself here last night, drunk.’ I explain, ‘I helped you inside and we just slept.’
‘Did I say anything stupid?’
‘No, you didn’t.’ I crawl to the edge of the bed to look Niall directly in his bright blue eyes, ‘I love you Niall.’
‘You-you do?’ he blinks as if I just told him that I was an alien from outer space and I came to eat his brains and bones.
‘I love you so much.’ I correct myself quietly, ‘more than anything.’
‘I love you.’ Niall repeats pressing his lips to my forehead, ‘I love you.’
‘I love you.’ I smile under his kiss, ‘I love everything about you.’
‘I love you.’ Niall says once again pulling me down onto his lap, ‘Never leave me.’
‘I love you.’ I lean my head on his chest to hold me close to me, ‘I won’t.’
‘You said that you would never leave me.’ Niall’s voice cracks midsentence, ‘That you would stay with me through all of the dumb ass shit that I do. Remember?’
I turn on the heel of my shoe to face Niall trying to find the words to say. Another deafening shatter of glass filled the air following me cackling cheers. The words were stuck refusing to come out. I slide down into the dark car before driving off, leaving Niall in the crowded yard.
Niall’s Point of View
What the fuck did I just do? I just stood up here like a goddamn idiot confessing my love for her – and she leaves. She actually fucking left. I felt like the biggest semi-truck known to man had crushed me. All the air was knocked out of my numb body, leaving me lifeless. Murmurs echoed off the stairs as people in the house stood and watched. I couldn’t take it anymore. With all of the rage inside of me, I shove my way into the house and tackle Damon right onto the wood floor. I grabbed a fist full of his shirt in my hand while sending my fist down to his face. Over and over – and over. I blacked out. Shouts and squeals filled the air while Zayn of all fucking people pulled me from him. My knuckles stung from the loss of contact while Damon scrambled to his fight – blood dripping from his mouth and nose. I could feel the warm blood seep from my knuckles that were now cut open. Damon stands there trembling with anger while more people rushed in between us.
‘You just fucked up.’ Was all I heard before Zayn drags me out of the house by my shirt.
‘Just go, Niall. Get out of here before it gets any worse.’
I get into my car and slam the door, breaking something I’m sure. I didn’t want to go to that damn apartment where Greg waited to con me out of more money or eat all my food. I couldn’t dare look at Lizette right now or ever for that matter. She didn’t even fucking say it back. She knew how hard it was for me to open up to people. I have never said those dumb ass words to anyone in my entire life and I never will again.
Lizette’s Point of View
I love you. I love you. Niall said that he loved me. I never thought in the time that I’ve known him that he would say he loved anyone. I didn’t say it back. I couldn’t process the words or anyone words in that moment. Of course I loved Niall too. I loved him with every thing in me. I loved him so much that I couldn’t live without him in my life. I loved him so much that it physically hurts when we’re apart. There was no question about it – I loved Niall. The glass being shattered and people shouting from every corner it was the only thing I could focus on. Why would Niall take fifty steps back with all the progress he’s made in his life? Why would he let Damon back into his life and ruin it? Niall swore that he was done with all of it years ago but Damon can come in so easily and change him. My phone buzzes in the seat beside me as I wait at a red light. I thought it was Niall but it was the number that Damon called me on earlier.
You can blame your boyfriend for whatever happens.
I immediately dial Niall’s number to see what was going on but he doesn’t answer. I call again, this time it goes straight to his voicemail.
‘Niall, it’s me. I know that you’re probably pissed at me but I really need to talk to you. It’s about Damon, he sent me some cryptic text. Please, call me back so we can talk or just come by my house – I’ll leave the garage door open.’ I speak before hanging up to dial him again.
That’s when it hit me. I was the only person that Niall could open up to or the only person he actually cared about and I just single-handedly built ten layers around his brick wall. Niall was never going to answer the phone because he was never going to speak to me again.
…
I tossed and turned in the cool sheets, eyeing the door every second. I wanted Niall to walk through that door more than anything but I knew it wouldn’t be that easy. I check my phone for any new notifications but there weren’t any. I stare at the cold words left by Damon trying to decipher what they mean. I need to figure out what happened between Niall and Damon after I left. A car door shuts out by the street and Niall rolls out of the car. I watch silently as he stumbles towards the door nearly falling over in the process. He was drunk. I hurry out of my room to meet him halfway before wakes my parents up.
‘Niall?’ I whisper in the front yard as he falls onto me.
‘Fucking Niall.’ He barks out a laugh leading the way into the house, ‘why is it so goddamn dark?’
‘Did you really drive here like this?! You could’ve killed someone or yourself!’ I speak firmly dragging him into my room and closing the door, ‘Niall what is the matter with you? You never drink.’
‘Well, that’s what you fucking do to me.’ He slurs collapsing in the bed, ‘This is all your fault.’
I distinctly remember Niall saying that he doesn’t’ drink anymore and he hasn’t had a full glass of any form of alcohol in over a year.
‘It’s my fault that you drank?’
‘I opened up to – I threw everything on the line for you and for what? You left me standing there like a goddamn fool. In front of the whole world. I didn’t even fucking do anything. I didn’t sleep with those girls. I didn’t steal anything. I didn’t even touch anything in that old ass house but you get pissed at me for being there. Nice one Lizette. Well, hey at least you broke me.’ Niall rants exhaustedly sitting up in the bed, ‘I said that I love you and you didn’t say a single thing. Do you know how that made me feel? So damn bad that I had to numb myself with alcohol.’
‘Niall, I do love you.’ I confess, even though he was completely out of it and probably wouldn’t remember this very conversation. ‘I love you so much.’
‘I love Lizette.’ He announces to himself, ‘I just want to make you happy and sometimes I think I do a pretty shitty job at it. Do I make you happy?’
‘You do.’
‘Then why don’t you tell your father that? I am sick of hiding in the goddamn shadows waiting for your asshole dad to get off of his high horse and accept that I love his daughter.’ Niall mutters before passing out beside me softly snoring within minutes.
…
Niall moving uncomfortably in bed beside me wakes me at the crack of dawn. He groans before rolling out of the bed and falling onto the carpet.
‘What the fuck?’ His throat was still laced with sleep, ‘Shit.’
‘Are you okay?’
‘Lizette- wh-why am I here? What happened?’
‘You drove yourself here last night, drunk.’ I explain, ‘I helped you inside and we just slept.’
‘Did I say anything stupid?’
‘No, you didn’t.’ I crawl to the edge of the bed to look Niall directly in his bright blue eyes, ‘I love you Niall.’
‘You-you do?’ he blinks as if I just told him that I was an alien from outer space and I came to eat his brains and bones.
‘I love you so much.’ I correct myself quietly, ‘more than anything.’
‘I love you.’ Niall repeats pressing his lips to my forehead, ‘I love you.’
‘I love you.’ I smile under his kiss, ‘I love everything about you.’
‘I love you.’ Niall says once again pulling me down onto his lap, ‘Never leave me.’
‘I love you.’ I lean my head on his chest to hold me close to me, ‘I won’t.’