For the Last Night I Lie, Could I Lie With You?
You Could Be The One I'll Always Love
He stares up at you and you notice his eyes are welled. The iciness that you had planned falters, don’t cry Gerard please, you silently beg him, you couldn’t handle watching somebody so beautiful cry, despite what he’s done his face doesn’t deserve to be sullied with spilt tears.
Disregarding your pleas a delicate tear weaves its way across his soft skin, followed by another crashing against it. You put your hand against his cheek and roughly wipe the tear away instinctively, not wanting anything to damage his skin but before you can move it back he grabs your hand and holds it there tightly with his. He presses his supple lips against your hand and you can feel it tingle with pleasure as he parts his mouth slightly. He lets his tears fall against your hand as he continues kissing it gently, moving to your wrists and your arms.
You squirm at the feel of his lips against your skin and beg that he could never stop, swallowing a small moan of pleasure. His skin against yours, this is how you’re meant to be, against each other, entwined and melting as one. He stops abruptly as he sees your eyes flutter shut and places your hand back on your knee, releasing it from his grip.
“What the fuck Gerard?” You whisper harshly through the silence, still feeling alive from his kisses. “You don’t make any sense, at all. You make me believe we are friends and then you dump me. You make me believe that you like me and then you go out with Alex. I go out with someone else and you kiss me? What do you want from me?!”
He whimpers slightly, clearly taken aback from the venom evident in your voice, “Everything. I want everything from you.”
You feel your heart swell involuntarily as the weight of his words seep into your skin. Your heart beats erratically and in each thump it screams desperately for you to reconsider what you’re about to say, images of you and him together flash before your eyes, tempting you, trying to persuade you to see sense and succumb to him.
But it’s futile; he’s already made his choice and that clearly wasn’t you.
“You’re too late, you fucked me about Gerard, you made me fall in love with you and then you left without any reason. What do you expect?”
“You fell in love with me?” He says searching into your eyes for some sort of recognition, hoping that you might repeat those sweet loaded words again.
“Yes Gerard, I fell in love with you. You left without a fucking reason, how can we ever be anything after that?”
His face crumbles slightly and he turns his face away from yours shielding the agony that is scrawled across his features. He blinks frantically and stabs fruitlessly at the tears with his shirt sleeve in an attempt to stay composed and allow his words to be choked out. “I had a reason. I had a fucking reason.” He spits, you’re taken aback by the hurt and spite in his words, a minute ago his lips were against your skin and now they’re poised and dripping with acid.
“You want to know why? Why I left as soon as we were starting to get so close?” His voice now raw and loud against your whispers.
“Because I fell, I fucking fell. Me, Gerard Arthur Way, the guy who never lets anybody in, who’s just in it for sex and sins and anything in between. I got to know you, thought we could be friends, we made eachother laugh, it was just easy between us. And that was the fucking problem; it was so easy, too fucking easy, just so easy to fall completely for you. Every day we spent I found myself falling deeper into the unfathomable depths, blurring the muddled line between lust and love, between friendship and depravity. I always wondering what you were doing, craving you, just wanting to be in your presence, to keep those bursts of electricity pulsing through me every time you brush your hand against me or we stare for that second too long. I told myself that we were friends but I was so past that line, I’d fallen further than I ever thought I could, it was so much more painless and easier than I ever thought it would be and I’ve never ever felt that way about anyway and you know? It scared me, it scared the living shit out of me.”
“So what? You ran away from me Gerard?!”
“Yes, I ran, the only thing I know how to do. I knew that if I had stayed and carried on seeing you that I would have gotten in too deep, I wouldn’t be able to get out, I would get hurt. I knew you would hurt me.”
“I could never hurt you Gerard.” You spoke softly, placing your hand upon his shaking one and lacing your fingers between his.
“But one of us would have gotten hurt, because nothing is forever. I was afraid to ruin you, to ruin us. I was afraid to fall and let someone get so close to me that I’d never be able to be without them. But the thing is, it was too late. I ran away thinking it’d all be okay, thinking I could forget, but I couldn’t. Every day I thought of you, my every movement was ridden with guilt for how I’d treated you. I tried to forget but you were etched in every thought I held, constantly plaguing me and reminding me just what I had lost, just what could have been. I tried being with someone else, but every minute I spent with them I just realised what I’d denied for so long, I had already fallen, I was already in too deep, I’d already found the person that I could never be without.” His eyes were now streaming, causing his eyeliner to bleed viciously.
You stared into those eyes, those crying, beautiful shining eyes. He was so fragile right now; he had fallen, thinking that no one would catch him. Watching his beautiful face crack you knew why Gerard had been sent to you, he had been sent to save you and for you to save him. Amidst all of your problems, every thing that had been wrong and all of the times that you had been wronged, ever since you had met him something seemed right, something seemed so easy.
You cupped his face in your hands and watched as he closed his crying eyes. You kissed each eyelid and then gently pressed your lips against his, feeling his arms wrap around you tightly.
He moved into the kiss, pulling you closer and allowing you to enter his mouth. You found his supple tongue and stroked it tenderly with your own feeling a burst of euphoria as he deepened it still. You pull away from him and watch his lips form a smile, a genuine smile soaked in sincerity. He pecks you on the lips and smiles once again. Now lying on the platform, in the comfort of the shadow he wraps his arm around you and you rest in the crook of his neck. He holds you tightly as you both sway to the music pumping through the air, washing over you, completing you both.
Disregarding your pleas a delicate tear weaves its way across his soft skin, followed by another crashing against it. You put your hand against his cheek and roughly wipe the tear away instinctively, not wanting anything to damage his skin but before you can move it back he grabs your hand and holds it there tightly with his. He presses his supple lips against your hand and you can feel it tingle with pleasure as he parts his mouth slightly. He lets his tears fall against your hand as he continues kissing it gently, moving to your wrists and your arms.
You squirm at the feel of his lips against your skin and beg that he could never stop, swallowing a small moan of pleasure. His skin against yours, this is how you’re meant to be, against each other, entwined and melting as one. He stops abruptly as he sees your eyes flutter shut and places your hand back on your knee, releasing it from his grip.
“What the fuck Gerard?” You whisper harshly through the silence, still feeling alive from his kisses. “You don’t make any sense, at all. You make me believe we are friends and then you dump me. You make me believe that you like me and then you go out with Alex. I go out with someone else and you kiss me? What do you want from me?!”
He whimpers slightly, clearly taken aback from the venom evident in your voice, “Everything. I want everything from you.”
You feel your heart swell involuntarily as the weight of his words seep into your skin. Your heart beats erratically and in each thump it screams desperately for you to reconsider what you’re about to say, images of you and him together flash before your eyes, tempting you, trying to persuade you to see sense and succumb to him.
But it’s futile; he’s already made his choice and that clearly wasn’t you.
“You’re too late, you fucked me about Gerard, you made me fall in love with you and then you left without any reason. What do you expect?”
“You fell in love with me?” He says searching into your eyes for some sort of recognition, hoping that you might repeat those sweet loaded words again.
“Yes Gerard, I fell in love with you. You left without a fucking reason, how can we ever be anything after that?”
His face crumbles slightly and he turns his face away from yours shielding the agony that is scrawled across his features. He blinks frantically and stabs fruitlessly at the tears with his shirt sleeve in an attempt to stay composed and allow his words to be choked out. “I had a reason. I had a fucking reason.” He spits, you’re taken aback by the hurt and spite in his words, a minute ago his lips were against your skin and now they’re poised and dripping with acid.
“You want to know why? Why I left as soon as we were starting to get so close?” His voice now raw and loud against your whispers.
“Because I fell, I fucking fell. Me, Gerard Arthur Way, the guy who never lets anybody in, who’s just in it for sex and sins and anything in between. I got to know you, thought we could be friends, we made eachother laugh, it was just easy between us. And that was the fucking problem; it was so easy, too fucking easy, just so easy to fall completely for you. Every day we spent I found myself falling deeper into the unfathomable depths, blurring the muddled line between lust and love, between friendship and depravity. I always wondering what you were doing, craving you, just wanting to be in your presence, to keep those bursts of electricity pulsing through me every time you brush your hand against me or we stare for that second too long. I told myself that we were friends but I was so past that line, I’d fallen further than I ever thought I could, it was so much more painless and easier than I ever thought it would be and I’ve never ever felt that way about anyway and you know? It scared me, it scared the living shit out of me.”
“So what? You ran away from me Gerard?!”
“Yes, I ran, the only thing I know how to do. I knew that if I had stayed and carried on seeing you that I would have gotten in too deep, I wouldn’t be able to get out, I would get hurt. I knew you would hurt me.”
“I could never hurt you Gerard.” You spoke softly, placing your hand upon his shaking one and lacing your fingers between his.
“But one of us would have gotten hurt, because nothing is forever. I was afraid to ruin you, to ruin us. I was afraid to fall and let someone get so close to me that I’d never be able to be without them. But the thing is, it was too late. I ran away thinking it’d all be okay, thinking I could forget, but I couldn’t. Every day I thought of you, my every movement was ridden with guilt for how I’d treated you. I tried to forget but you were etched in every thought I held, constantly plaguing me and reminding me just what I had lost, just what could have been. I tried being with someone else, but every minute I spent with them I just realised what I’d denied for so long, I had already fallen, I was already in too deep, I’d already found the person that I could never be without.” His eyes were now streaming, causing his eyeliner to bleed viciously.
You stared into those eyes, those crying, beautiful shining eyes. He was so fragile right now; he had fallen, thinking that no one would catch him. Watching his beautiful face crack you knew why Gerard had been sent to you, he had been sent to save you and for you to save him. Amidst all of your problems, every thing that had been wrong and all of the times that you had been wronged, ever since you had met him something seemed right, something seemed so easy.
You cupped his face in your hands and watched as he closed his crying eyes. You kissed each eyelid and then gently pressed your lips against his, feeling his arms wrap around you tightly.
He moved into the kiss, pulling you closer and allowing you to enter his mouth. You found his supple tongue and stroked it tenderly with your own feeling a burst of euphoria as he deepened it still. You pull away from him and watch his lips form a smile, a genuine smile soaked in sincerity. He pecks you on the lips and smiles once again. Now lying on the platform, in the comfort of the shadow he wraps his arm around you and you rest in the crook of his neck. He holds you tightly as you both sway to the music pumping through the air, washing over you, completing you both.