For the Last Night I Lie, Could I Lie With You?
Grateful "goodbyes"
You stare at him, watching the light now slightly colder breeze tease his hair playfully. You stare at his hand on your shoulder; pick it up savouring his touch and then deliberately drop it.
“We best get you home.” He sighs, beginning to walk. You stand there watching him leave; it takes him a few seconds to notice that you haven’t followed dutifully behind him. So he sighs once again, more exaggeratedly. “So are you not coming then?” He says cocking an eyebrow, his words dripping with sarcasm.
You smirk at him, “No. Not with you I’m not.”
“Why not? You’ll be safe with me.”
“Will I?” You ask coldly. He looks upset. Good, you think to yourself, you want him to be upset to see how brilliant it feels.
“You know you’ll be safe with me!” He says defensively.
“No, Gerard. I do not know, I don’t even know you. Did I ever?” You see his face fall but he isn’t angry, he looks shocked and upset but not angry. You regret your foolish words, spilling from your mouth irresponsibly in your drunken comfort, you don’t believe a word of them.
He opens his mouth to speak but you silence him with your icy tones. “Why have you fucked me about?”
“I haven’t!” He protests. You raise an eyebrow at him and he sighs, knowing that he’s defeated.
“Why have you been avoiding me then? Kissing me and then kissing Alex? Are we lovers Gerard? Are we even friends?” Your voice is angry and raw, your emotions mixed and exaggerated with the alcohol in your system.
“I…I don’t. I can’t.” He stares at the cracked pavement, feeling your eyes burning on his pallid skin.
“You can’t even admit it Gerard, it’s pathetic.”
“Urm am I interrupting something?” Mikey’s voices wavers with uncertainty as he watches his brother and yourself both soaking in uncomfortable silence.
“No, it’s nothing.” You say matter-of-factly, not taking your eyes off of Gerard. “You ready to go?”
“Yeah, we’re just heading off, coming Gerard?” Mikey asks, his brother shakes his head and finally tears his gaze from the floor.
“So you’re going out? Haven’t you already had too much to drink?” He said cocking his head to one side, his hazel eyes judging you, pleading with you to stay.
“Haven’t you had enough of being a bastard?” You snap coldly. With this Gerard glares at you, his pleading eyes vanish and burn angrily as he storms back into the club. Go. You think to yourself, as usual, just fucking leave. Shocked at your own words you stand there for a moment replaying the incident over again until it becomes just a blur infront of your eyes. Great you made him hate you, he saved your arse for the second time tonight and you had to be so cold with him, you had to make him feel how you feel, make him hurt like you hurt.
You blink back warm unforgiving tears, everything you wanted, you have spoiled and smeared so badly that it could never be perfect again. The soberness hits you fast but you know the pounding headache isn’t just the result of drinking too much too fast…
You realise that Mikey is still standing there staring at you with interest and pity. “Unfortunately I agree, I think you should go home.” He says kindly offering you his coat.
Mikey, like the gentleman he is leads you back to your house. You both don’t speak to eachother on the journey but you are thankful of the silent company he brings you, you feel safe and understanded. Although you doubt that he does understand what you’re feeling or why you spoke to his brother with such venom.
You make your grateful goodbyes and retire to the comforting darkness of your room, no-one can see you in the dark, and the tears blend into the gloom as they fall unrelentlessly from your silent sobs.
(*A/N: Thankyou everyone for your comments, i really appreciate them all! If you're enjoying this and want me to continue please let me know and i'll fight the urge to abandon this story :) )
“We best get you home.” He sighs, beginning to walk. You stand there watching him leave; it takes him a few seconds to notice that you haven’t followed dutifully behind him. So he sighs once again, more exaggeratedly. “So are you not coming then?” He says cocking an eyebrow, his words dripping with sarcasm.
You smirk at him, “No. Not with you I’m not.”
“Why not? You’ll be safe with me.”
“Will I?” You ask coldly. He looks upset. Good, you think to yourself, you want him to be upset to see how brilliant it feels.
“You know you’ll be safe with me!” He says defensively.
“No, Gerard. I do not know, I don’t even know you. Did I ever?” You see his face fall but he isn’t angry, he looks shocked and upset but not angry. You regret your foolish words, spilling from your mouth irresponsibly in your drunken comfort, you don’t believe a word of them.
He opens his mouth to speak but you silence him with your icy tones. “Why have you fucked me about?”
“I haven’t!” He protests. You raise an eyebrow at him and he sighs, knowing that he’s defeated.
“Why have you been avoiding me then? Kissing me and then kissing Alex? Are we lovers Gerard? Are we even friends?” Your voice is angry and raw, your emotions mixed and exaggerated with the alcohol in your system.
“I…I don’t. I can’t.” He stares at the cracked pavement, feeling your eyes burning on his pallid skin.
“You can’t even admit it Gerard, it’s pathetic.”
“Urm am I interrupting something?” Mikey’s voices wavers with uncertainty as he watches his brother and yourself both soaking in uncomfortable silence.
“No, it’s nothing.” You say matter-of-factly, not taking your eyes off of Gerard. “You ready to go?”
“Yeah, we’re just heading off, coming Gerard?” Mikey asks, his brother shakes his head and finally tears his gaze from the floor.
“So you’re going out? Haven’t you already had too much to drink?” He said cocking his head to one side, his hazel eyes judging you, pleading with you to stay.
“Haven’t you had enough of being a bastard?” You snap coldly. With this Gerard glares at you, his pleading eyes vanish and burn angrily as he storms back into the club. Go. You think to yourself, as usual, just fucking leave. Shocked at your own words you stand there for a moment replaying the incident over again until it becomes just a blur infront of your eyes. Great you made him hate you, he saved your arse for the second time tonight and you had to be so cold with him, you had to make him feel how you feel, make him hurt like you hurt.
You blink back warm unforgiving tears, everything you wanted, you have spoiled and smeared so badly that it could never be perfect again. The soberness hits you fast but you know the pounding headache isn’t just the result of drinking too much too fast…
You realise that Mikey is still standing there staring at you with interest and pity. “Unfortunately I agree, I think you should go home.” He says kindly offering you his coat.
Mikey, like the gentleman he is leads you back to your house. You both don’t speak to eachother on the journey but you are thankful of the silent company he brings you, you feel safe and understanded. Although you doubt that he does understand what you’re feeling or why you spoke to his brother with such venom.
You make your grateful goodbyes and retire to the comforting darkness of your room, no-one can see you in the dark, and the tears blend into the gloom as they fall unrelentlessly from your silent sobs.
(*A/N: Thankyou everyone for your comments, i really appreciate them all! If you're enjoying this and want me to continue please let me know and i'll fight the urge to abandon this story :) )