For the Last Night I Lie, Could I Lie With You?
We say 'good bye' for the hundreth time
You wake up the next morning and the events from last night finally seep into your consciousness causing every bit of tiredness inside of you to vanish. Thoughts flood into your mind and wince as you recall each one in all of its painful glory. The image of his face as you snapped at him and the way his eyes flashed with pain, it was too much, you never wanted to see his beautiful eyes flash like that again.
You managed to get past that day and then the next. In fact, quite a few weeks went by without you speaking about what had happened. Thinking about it though, well that was a different matter. Every spare moment you had he washed into you subconscious, always in your thoughts and always in your dreams. You had gotten used to the agonising gnawing that you felt inside of you, even to the way your heart burst when you saw him and he ignored you. Well, as much as one can get used to those feelings.
It had been so long since you had talked, even longer since you had laughed- it was almost as if you two had never existed as if you had never embraced, or laughed or talked for hours, almost. But you knew as much as you fought it that from that first day he had had such a dramatic effect on your life, you never believed in fate but now you were a firm believer in its cruel practices. Gerard had been sent for you for some reason, you just hadn’t figured it out yet…
You began to hang out with Mikey more and more, he was kind and he made you smile but never in the same way that Gerard had, but still you were glad of a friend, especially one with as much patience and understanding as Mikey.
You were always a permanent fixture at his gigs which were becoming more and more frequent which had also resulted in some unusual acquaintances. Now deeming your usual spot on the platform unfit to sit on you usually sat at the bar, which of course attracted a lot of unwanted attention from an array of Bluepit’s regulars.
You had both the pleasure and displeasure of meeting Luke; he was a friend of one of Mikey’s band mates and had a habit of always talking through your favourite songs. He was kind of attractive, in a conventional way. He had a lot of attention from girls but he always turned them down whenever you were there. He had fair hair and full lips, not scrawny and awkward but confident and almost arrogant. He was an opposite of Gerard, he didn’t possess his charm or his intelligence but he was good enough, you hadn’t spoiled him and you hadn’t let him break down your walls yet and that was good enough.
You had made a conscious effort to forget about Gerard, it had been almost months since you had last spoken and it didn’t seem like he was going to rekindle his interest in you anytime soon, so for now Luke was a little distraction, not that you would ever admit to Luke that you thought of him at all.
--
You were propped up at the bar with Luke chattering away next to you when something caught your eye. Gerard had just walked in and although you didn’t stare straight at him you could recall all of his features from a blurry distance. He was wearing his usual black drainpipes and a random black t-shirt stretched across his chest. He had let his hair grow out and it hung disobediently above his shoulders, framing his pallid features, it suited him to say the least.
He walked up to the bar and straight past you, you doubt that he even recognised you. In his hurry he knocked over your half empty drink which caused the sweet liquid to splash across the glass counter and onto Luke’s shoes.
“Hey watch it!” Luke shouted, pushing Gerard in the shoulder.
Gerard didn’t look at Luke; he just stood at the bar with a vacant expression, he didn’t seem to notice anything actually.
“HEY!” Luke raised his voice and pushed Gerard even harder. This demanded his attention and his shining eyes narrowed as he stood in full height in front of Luke.
“Luke, stop it, it was just an accident!” You said instinctively, standing between the two of them.
Recognising your voice Gerard turned to face you and the view almost shocked you. His face was sallow with his shining eyes now framed with red circles, this wasn’t the Gerard that you knew, the one that had made you smile, this Gerard looked pained and distant. “You know this jerk?” Gerard inquired.
“Who you calling jerk?!” Luke barked. “And she more than knows me!” He said winking and placing a disgusting hand on your shoulder. Gerard watched him do this and screwed his face up in disgust; he looked from you to Luke and back again.
“Sorry about the drink.” He said slowly, placing money on the counter. He looked you straight into my eyes before leaving the club as quickly as he had entered. You could have sworn you saw a flicker of jealousy in his eyes.
You brush his hand off and Luke’s face deflates a little, taking a look at your expression he sits back down and continues talking at you. Completely zoning out his voice you let your eyes wander across the room, you see a small flicker of movement come from the top of platform. Could it be him? Your curiosity takes hold of you but you know this is something more than that; you’re drawn to him as much as you can’t stand it. You begin to walk towards the small stairs with your thoughts scrambling.
You sit next to Gerard beneath the large beamer and expecting him to move you are surprised that he continues sitting there playing with his lighter.
“So you’re with him then?” He mutters bluntly.
“Does it even matter?” You spit.
“Yes.” He says in a small voice, much unlike his own.
(A/N: once again comments/criticisms will make me update faster. Sorry the updates aren't that great at the moment i've unfortunately lost a little love for this story. This is one of the last chapters!)
You managed to get past that day and then the next. In fact, quite a few weeks went by without you speaking about what had happened. Thinking about it though, well that was a different matter. Every spare moment you had he washed into you subconscious, always in your thoughts and always in your dreams. You had gotten used to the agonising gnawing that you felt inside of you, even to the way your heart burst when you saw him and he ignored you. Well, as much as one can get used to those feelings.
It had been so long since you had talked, even longer since you had laughed- it was almost as if you two had never existed as if you had never embraced, or laughed or talked for hours, almost. But you knew as much as you fought it that from that first day he had had such a dramatic effect on your life, you never believed in fate but now you were a firm believer in its cruel practices. Gerard had been sent for you for some reason, you just hadn’t figured it out yet…
You began to hang out with Mikey more and more, he was kind and he made you smile but never in the same way that Gerard had, but still you were glad of a friend, especially one with as much patience and understanding as Mikey.
You were always a permanent fixture at his gigs which were becoming more and more frequent which had also resulted in some unusual acquaintances. Now deeming your usual spot on the platform unfit to sit on you usually sat at the bar, which of course attracted a lot of unwanted attention from an array of Bluepit’s regulars.
You had both the pleasure and displeasure of meeting Luke; he was a friend of one of Mikey’s band mates and had a habit of always talking through your favourite songs. He was kind of attractive, in a conventional way. He had a lot of attention from girls but he always turned them down whenever you were there. He had fair hair and full lips, not scrawny and awkward but confident and almost arrogant. He was an opposite of Gerard, he didn’t possess his charm or his intelligence but he was good enough, you hadn’t spoiled him and you hadn’t let him break down your walls yet and that was good enough.
You had made a conscious effort to forget about Gerard, it had been almost months since you had last spoken and it didn’t seem like he was going to rekindle his interest in you anytime soon, so for now Luke was a little distraction, not that you would ever admit to Luke that you thought of him at all.
--
You were propped up at the bar with Luke chattering away next to you when something caught your eye. Gerard had just walked in and although you didn’t stare straight at him you could recall all of his features from a blurry distance. He was wearing his usual black drainpipes and a random black t-shirt stretched across his chest. He had let his hair grow out and it hung disobediently above his shoulders, framing his pallid features, it suited him to say the least.
He walked up to the bar and straight past you, you doubt that he even recognised you. In his hurry he knocked over your half empty drink which caused the sweet liquid to splash across the glass counter and onto Luke’s shoes.
“Hey watch it!” Luke shouted, pushing Gerard in the shoulder.
Gerard didn’t look at Luke; he just stood at the bar with a vacant expression, he didn’t seem to notice anything actually.
“HEY!” Luke raised his voice and pushed Gerard even harder. This demanded his attention and his shining eyes narrowed as he stood in full height in front of Luke.
“Luke, stop it, it was just an accident!” You said instinctively, standing between the two of them.
Recognising your voice Gerard turned to face you and the view almost shocked you. His face was sallow with his shining eyes now framed with red circles, this wasn’t the Gerard that you knew, the one that had made you smile, this Gerard looked pained and distant. “You know this jerk?” Gerard inquired.
“Who you calling jerk?!” Luke barked. “And she more than knows me!” He said winking and placing a disgusting hand on your shoulder. Gerard watched him do this and screwed his face up in disgust; he looked from you to Luke and back again.
“Sorry about the drink.” He said slowly, placing money on the counter. He looked you straight into my eyes before leaving the club as quickly as he had entered. You could have sworn you saw a flicker of jealousy in his eyes.
You brush his hand off and Luke’s face deflates a little, taking a look at your expression he sits back down and continues talking at you. Completely zoning out his voice you let your eyes wander across the room, you see a small flicker of movement come from the top of platform. Could it be him? Your curiosity takes hold of you but you know this is something more than that; you’re drawn to him as much as you can’t stand it. You begin to walk towards the small stairs with your thoughts scrambling.
You sit next to Gerard beneath the large beamer and expecting him to move you are surprised that he continues sitting there playing with his lighter.
“So you’re with him then?” He mutters bluntly.
“Does it even matter?” You spit.
“Yes.” He says in a small voice, much unlike his own.
(A/N: once again comments/criticisms will make me update faster. Sorry the updates aren't that great at the moment i've unfortunately lost a little love for this story. This is one of the last chapters!)