Damaged Goods

***Kellin's P.O.V.***

I woke up due to the sunlight that was coming through the blinds of the window in the hospital room. It took a minute to register where I was and why I was there. I shifted in the uncomfortable chair I slept on, slightly groaning when I felt a sharp pain in my back. I stood up and tried to stretch out my limbs, sighing when I heard a satisfying crack come from my back. I rubbed at my eyes and tried my best to comb my hair with my fingers, I didn't want to look like total shit when Vic woke up. I heard a cough come from his bed and I snapped my head in that direction.

"Oh, good morning." I said quietly.

"Morning." He smiled softly.

"I didn't know you were up."

"I've been up for a while. I couldn't sleep."

"How are you feeling?" I asked, walking over to the side of his bed.

"Better than last night." He replied.

"That's good. Are you hungry?"

"Yeah. I'm about to go down to the cafeteria right now actually." He said, shifting in his bed, getting ready to stand up.

"No. I got it. The cafeteria food probably sucks, let me go get you something."

"It's fine I can eat whatever's here." He smiled.

"I got it. Seriously." I said, walking towards the door and smiling at him one last time before making my way out.

I was trying my best to treat Vic perfectly. I had to at least do something to convince him to even keep contact with me after this is all over. After he gets out of the hospital he’s just going to go back to that asshole and forget all about me. I don’t even understand why he’s at home, probably sleep, while his boyfriend, or whatever the fuck you wanna call him, is laying in a hospital bed.

As I stepped out of the hospital I looked around to see if there were any places I could walk to. I remembered that there was a Chinese place right up the block. I hope VIc didn’t mind eating Chinese food for breakfast. I plugged in my headphones and began on my short journey to the restaurant. I was happy that I actually remembered exactly what Vic liked to eat, It’s not like I could possibly forget, we ordered Chinese takeout countless times back when we were sharing that apartment with Mike and Matt.

Once I was done at the Chinese place I looked next door and there was a small, cute-looking bakery. I decided to go in there and pick him up something really quick. After about 15 minutes I was back at the hospital, I thought they were going to be very strict about bringing outside food inside but no one really looked at me or said anything so it was fine. I made it back to the room and Vic was in bed watching the tv on the wall.

“Hey.” I said awkwardly.

“Hey.”

“I hope you don’t mind Chinese for breakfast.” I giggled.

“Nope, that’s perfect. Thank you so much.” He smiled at me.

“No p-problem.”

Shit, why did his smiles always make me so nervous?

I laid out the stuff I bought for him and kept the things I bought for myself. He opened his container filled with noodles and chicken and began to dig in. I opened mine and did the same.

“It’s nice to see that you’re eating.” He said around a mouth full of food.

I swallowed before answering.

“Yeah, I’m trying.” I said before stuffing my mouth.

“So..” He said slowly. “Have you been cutting?”

I shook my head. That was a lie. I had a little bit, I was still trying my best to stop, but I didn’t want him to be disappointed in me.

“I know you’re lying.” He said in a monotone.

My jaw dropped slightly, in awe of how he could call me out on my lying so quickly.

“You must have forgotten.” He chuckled. “I know everything about you. When you lie your cheeks get a little red and your hands start fidgeting.” He finished, before swallowing a bite of food.

I suddenly felt embarrassed. I don’t really know why, but all my blood started to rush to my cheeks, making them red as hell.

“Are they really bad?” He asked with worry in his eyes.

I shook my head again. This time it wasn’t a lie. They weren’t as bad as they used to be. but they were still there.

“Lemme see.” He said, as if it were no big deal.

“I don’t know if that’d be a good idea.” I warned.

“Why?”

“Because it requires me to take off my pants.” I said shyly.

“You're acting like I haven't seen you without pants a million times." He laughed.

"Not a million times. You're exaggerating." I laughed.

"I dunno. I sure did do a good job at getting you out of your pants." He winked.

"Oh my gosh. Shut up." I gasped, feeling my cheeks heat up.

It was true though, he was very good at it.

-

***Vic’s P.O.V.***

It was 6pm and Dylan hadn’t come to visit. I was thinking that I might be able to get out tonight and I didn’t even know if he’d be here to get me home. He hadn’t texted me all day and I was not going to text him first under any circumstances. I was the one in the hospital while he was probably somewhere working out like he usually is So much for talking about how much he “loves” me. It was whatever though, I was really enjoying my alone time with Kellin, maybe even a little too much. I know I shouldn’t have feelings for another guy while I was clearly involved with someone but I couldn’t help how I felt. My feelings for Kellin were never gone, I just learned how to suppress them, and I was scared that I couldn’t do that for much longer. That was the thing with him, everytime I was around him, no matter how mad or upset I am with him I just cannot seem to keep it up. He knows just how to break that wall I have put up against him, and I don’t even think hes trying to, it's just natural. Everything with him is so natural.

I keep thinking back to when we were in a relationship, we were so obsessed with each other and immersed in our love, it was crazy. I loved him so much it scared me and I don’t know if I can love like that again with anyone else, it’d just feel wrong.