Damaged Goods

***Vic's P.O.V.***

Throughout the night, Kellin had to keep getting up to go to the bathroom and puke. I guess it was his body's way of getting the pills out of his system. I was kind of in shock. I'd almost lost him, if Alan hadn't have called me when they did, he'd probably be dead. And I wouldn't be able to handle that.

It was 2 a.m. and Kellin and I were in his bed, he was snuggled up to me and I had him wrapped in my embrace. I missed having him like this, I just wish it wasn't under these circumstances. He suddenly sat up and covered his mouth.

"Do you need to throw up again?"

He nodded and quickly got up and ran to the bathroom while I followed behind him. I sat on the counter while he emptied his stomach. The first few times, I tried to help him by rubbing his back and holding back his hair but he wouldn't let me. He said he was embarrassed. I watched as he leaned over the toilet bowl once again, clutching his stomach, his face twisting in discomfort. I couldn't help but let a few tears fall, I hated seeing him like this.

"Why are you crying?" He asked, surprised.

"Because, look what you did to yourself." I said, my voice cracking a little.

"I'm fine."

"You always fucking say that. You're not fine." I snapped.

A wave of anger suddenly overtook me. I just got so mad thinking about what he's done. I know I shouldn’t get upset with him about his suicide attempt, but I couldn't help it. He's 16 , he's too young for this shit. He almost killed himself last night. I was angry at the fact that he would try to leave me like that. I know we’re not together at the time, but he knows good and well that I still love him more than anything and I'd be completely destroyed if something ever happened to him.

"Don't raise your voice at me." He mumbled quietly.

"I don't want to but you can't seem to get it through your thick skull that I fucking love you and I don't want you to die." I countered.

He didn't say anything. He just got up, flushed the toilet and headed over to the sink to brush his teeth. I could see him tearing up and I started to feel bad.

"You know how I feel about you. I just want you to be okay." I said quietly.

"If you feel so strongly about me then why do you keep doing this? You have feelings for me, Dylan and Mae. Choose the person you want already, because it's tiring trying to figure out who you really want."

"I haven’t talked to Dylan in a week. Sorry, its hard to put all my trust and time into one person after the person I gave everything to walked out on me." I shot back.

"I apologized for that a thousand times." He said in an exasperated tone.

"That doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. How did you find out about my feelings for Mae anyways?" I wondered.

He shrugged his shoulders and used a towel to wipe his wet mouth before leaving the bathroom. Once we were back in his bedroom he laid down on the bed and he laid next to me, neither of us touching each other. It was tense.

"So what do you like about her exactly?"

He didn't have to say a name, I already knew who he was talking about.

"I dunno." I replied.

"Well I can't blame you. She's beautiful. What every guy would want." He said softly.

"It's just a little crush." I murmured. "It's nothing important."

"That's how it started off with me, as a little crush." He reasoned. "You don't have to downplay your feelings for her to protect me, it hurts either way." He admitted.

"I'm not downplaying anything. When you left, there was a void that was created and I guess Mae is the best person to fill that void. She doesn't amount to you whatsoever, but she's the closest to you that I can get. And that's why I like her."

"But why not just get back together with me?" He wondered, shifting so he was on his side facing me.

"It’s complicated, Kellin.” I sighed. “I don’t know if I can trust you.”

“What if I can earn your trust back? Then will you at least consider us getting back together?” He asked quietly.

I was quiet for a moment. There was no use in trying to fight it, I knew that sooner or later Id just fall for him all over again, so why not just go for it.

“Yeah. We’d have to work on us a lot though. You would have to show me that you’ve changed.” I answered.

His eyes lit up and he gave me a huge grin.

“At least I have a chance.”

He reached over and pulled me closer to him. We stayed like this for a while until I heard soft snores coming from his mouth.

-

We slept until 1pm the next day and I woke up very hungry. I was in the kitchen making breakfast while Kellin sat there and watched me. I was planning on telling him about us sending him back to the asylum. I had no idea how he was gonna take it. It would be better for the both of us, he’d be getting better and I’d be dealing with my feelings for Mae, so when he got out we’d be able to be together.

“You look cute.” He mumbled sleepily.

“So do you.” I replied, giving him a small kiss on the head before going back to cooking.

When I was done I took out two plates and began to put food on them.

“I don’t need that much.” Kellin squeaked, looking over my shoulder at the food I was putting on his plate.

“It’s not even a lot, Kellin.” I tried.

“It’s a lot to me.” He mumbled.

“Just eat as much as you can.”

We sat at the table in complete silence. Well, I guess it was now or never.

“I need to talk to you.”

“When you say that, it makes me nervous.” He said with wide eyes.

I reached across the table and grabbed his hand.
“You know I care about you right? And I have your best interests at heart all the time.” I started. “Alan, Austin and I were talking, and we’re sending you back to the asylum.”

I waited for a response, but I got nothing. After staring at him for about 10 seconds his lips twisted up into a small smile. Something was off, like what I’d said hadn’t processed in his brain, and it kind of creeped me out a little.

“Kells?”

“So you’re sending me back there?” He asked, his voice holding a comical tone.

“Yeah. We think it’d be better if you could go there and get help. Maybe i-” I was cut off by him starting to laugh hysterically. What the fuck? “Kellin I’m not joking.”

“I know you aren’t.” He said, trying to catch his breath. “And that’s the funny part.”

He was seriously scaring me. The look in his eyes was crazy, like he was laughing at a joke that I didn’t know about. He’s definitely lost his mind.