Wonderless

HP picked Missy and Zack up bright and early on Saturday morning. They had kept their destination a secret from Zack until they pulled up at the zoo. Needless to say the little boy was ecstatic and his parents would have their work cut out with his ensuing hyperactivity.

"This feels really weird." Missy admitted as they watched a family of monkeys swinging in the trees.

"What does?" HP asked, puzzled.

"This... me and you and Zack."

"Like a family?" Bam looked at her.

"Yeah." She admitted, picking Zack up so he could get a better view. She moved forward from HP so she could not see the look on his face.

A passing family asked if Missy would take their photo and in return offered to take a picture of Missy, HP and Zack on Missy's phone. She realised that they must look like a young family. As they posed for the photo, Missy felt HP put his arm gently around her waist.

Every now and then, when Missy relaxed and enjoyed herself, she forgot everything that had happened between her and HP and it almost felt as if everything was as it should be. She had never left him. They joked and teased one another all day and Missy tried to shake off the overwhelming urge she felt to kiss him.

By late afternoon the three of them were exhausted and Zack was sound asleep in the back of the car for entire journey home. Missy and HP sat in a comfortable silence.

"Miss, let me take you out for dinner tonight?" HP asked as he pulled up in front of her house.

Missy hesitated, staring at him in surprise. This was not like HP. As much as she wanted to go deep down, she needed an excuse not to go, but she couldn't think of one.

"Jukka will have Zack. Just say yes, please?"

Missy forgot her inhibitions at the look of hope on HP's face, and agreed. "I need to shower and change though." She told him, glancing at her watch.

"I'll take Zack back to mine and I'll pick you up in an hour." He smiled, watching her jump out of the car and kiss Zack goodbye.

An hour was not enough time for Missy to feel ready for HP to take her out to dinner but she did not let it stop her from trying. She felt nervous, which was ridiculous really because this wasn't a date or anything, was it? She couldn't help but wonder if she was making a mistake by going. But they had had a good time together and why let it end at the zoo? Couldn't two friends go out for food together?

Missy let the hot water rush over her body. As she washed herself she realised she had lost a lot of weight. It must have been down to the stress of moving back, she thought. She had never been confident about her body, especially as a teenager. She noticed how flat her stomach had become. After having Zack she had tried to stay in shape but this was definitely the thinnest she had been since becoming pregnant.

As she stared at her reflection in the mirror, Missy wondered why she had agreed to go out with HP tonight. If Louis had been home she wouldn't have accepted. For some reason she was glad Louis was away although it made her feel guilty for even thinking it. They had not slept together since moving and although this was mainly down to Missy, Louis did not seem to care, which bothered her even more. Their relationship had started to grow dull and boring, as much as Missy hated to admit it to herself. Perhaps it was just the excitement of seeing HP again that was giving her butterflies in her stomach.

After drying her hair and curling it, she slipped on a blue smock dress and tights, subconsciously aware that this was HP's favourite colour. She had just enough time to apply some makeup when she heard a knock at the door and hurried downstairs to meet HP. He too had dressed up for the occasion in a nice blue shirt and jeans without holes.

"Wow." He couldn't help but grin as he looked Missy up and down.

Missy tried desperately not to blush as he opened the car door to let her in, reminding herself that this was not a date. They drove in silence to the other side of town and Missy's butterflies were increasing as they parked at an expensive looking restaurant. This was not like HP at all, Missy thought as she followed him inside. The waiter sat them at a cosy table for two at the back of the room and they sat watching one another, not quite sure what to say or do.

"I don't mean to drag up the past, but there's a few things I really need to know." HP said quietly, after they had ordered their food. "I want tonight to be about us. I need to fix things."

Missy nodded. He was entitled to a few answers and she would give anything to be able to fix what was broken between the two of them.

"Would you have come visit if I hadn't hurt you?" he asked, staring at her intently.

"Yes, probably. I might have gone home for the holidays though." She admitted as the corners of her mouth twitched into a smile.

HP's eyes twinkled. "I believed for ages that you would come back you know. But after a year I realised it was just wishful thinking. I'd ruined everything."

Missy sighed sadly, remembering all the times she had been close to picking up the phone so she hear his voice.

"I missed you so much." She told him. "It hurt so much."

HP nodded. "When the realisation set in that you weren't coming back to me I hated you. I think it was just my way of dealing with it. But now that you're back and I can see your face again and I know how much you've been through, I don't hate you at all."

"You should hate me for keeping Zack a secret from you."

HP shook his head. "How could I hate you for bringing my kid into the world?"

"I'm sorry I left you. Honestly, I probably wouldn't have reacted so badly if we hadn't have been so close. I trusted you with my life and that night made me realise I had no idea who I was anymore, let alone who you were."

HP looked at the floor. "Why did you really come back?"

"For Louis's job. I'm not saying I would never have come visit, but if it wasn't for his transfer I just don't know."

HP looked hurt. Missy took his hand from across the table.

"I know what I did was wrong, but at the time I thought I was doing the right thing. I wanted to prove that I could do it on my own and that I didn't need anything from anyone. You've shown me over the past month just how wrong I was and I will never forgive myself for taking those years with Zack away from you."

"So now what?"

Missy realized she was ready to let the past remain buried and move on. "We've both done things to hurt each other and that we regret, so let's forget about the past and concentrate on the future."

"I'll drink to that." HP smiled, pouring Missy another glass of wine.

"But speaking of the past, you never took me out like this when we were dating." She teased. The wine was helping her to relax.

"I was only twenty and pretty much skint." He laughed, trying to make up excuses as their food arrived.

"Well I'll let you make up for it now." She giggled.

They continued to talk and relive happy memories as they ate, not mentioning their respective partners once. HP told her about how he was making videos with the rest of the guys and that he was starting to gain some recognition from it.

"I don't want to go home." HP told her with a heavy sigh, when the bill came.

"Neither do I." She admitted, staring at her empty wine glass. The alcohol had gone to her head and she was a little giddy. She couldn't explain how she felt, there were no words to describe it, but she knew she didn't want it to end anytime soon. Like HP had said, tonight was about the two of them. It couldn't hurt to forget about everything else just for one night.

"Really?" he asked, his eyes sparkling.

Missy nodded a little shyly and HP held out his hand for her to follow him out of the restaurant. They got back into HP's car and drove for what seemed like hours. Eventually HP pulled up near some woods and got out of the car. Missy looked at him questioningly but he just grinned. Realising they were probably in for a walk, Missy kicked off her heels and jumped out of the car.

HP looked down at her bare feet and laughed. "Piggy back?"

Missy grinned. "If you think you're strong enough."

She went to stand behind HP and put her hands on his shoulders. In one smooth movement HP had picked her up by her legs and was supporting her on his back as if it was no effort at all.

"Ok, so you're strong enough!" she laughed, and wrapped her arms around his neck as he headed into the woods. The feeling of his hands on her bare legs was enough to make her weak at the knees. It was a good job he was carrying her.

"Where are we going?" she asked him. It was pitch black and all she could see were trees. Occasionally she would have to duck her head to avoid getting hit by overgrown branches. When she did she found herself nuzzling into HP's neck. He smelt so good.

HP did not answer her until they had reached their destination. They had come to a clearing in the woods, enclosed by huge trees and filled with exotic looking flowers. The moon was the only source of light but Missy recognised it as somewhere her friends had hung out together as teenagers. There was tyre hanging from one of the trees, leftover from their childhood.

"I wanted to get away from everything and everyone." HP told her, setting her down on the ground. "Just you and me."

Missy smiled, walking around so that she was face to face with him. "It's even more beautiful than I remember."

The forest floor was dusty from the dry summer, but Missy had never been bothered about getting dirty. They sat down, leaning against a tree. Missy shivered a little as a gust of wind howled through the woods. HP shuffled closer to her but she pretended not to notice the lack of distance between their bodies.

"This might sound a little crazy." HP said nervously. "But can I kiss you?"