Status: Completed.
Half a Heart
Day 99
dear jack,
i survived 99 days without you. i also survived a full tour without you there, by my side. it sucked, but i survived. i forced myself to stop writing these letters to you, because the guys found them and almost read them but i yelled and took them and hid them. they're worried about me still. i don't write anymore, but i still think about you. i talk to you, every night. i like to think that you're up in the sky, amongst the stars. maybe you're bonding with tom. i think you two would've been great friends. tell him hi for me. i miss him. i miss you, too. i still can't stop thinking about you. jesus christ i miss you so fucking much. it's hit me like a tidal wave that you're never, ever coming back. i accepted it, slowly moved on. moved on with my life. not from you. i could never move on from you. i wanted to drink myself half to death. slit my wrists open.
but i can't, because whenever i meet fans on the road, or even when i'm at home... they all tell me that they know i'm feeling terrible, that they know i want to give up, but i shouldn't because they stayed strong for me. they stayed strong because i told them to, because i made them promise to not hurt themselves again. that music would always be there for them. that i would always be there for them.
they're right.
so i've turned to music. and music has helped me so much more than it has before. maybe it's because i know that i can actually write proper songs now, or maybe it's because i'm determined to have your memory live on forever through a song. and i've written one and i can't record it yet, because i cry even when i'm just giving it a test run. rian tracked the drums already. zack's recorded his bass parts. all that's left is the lead and rhythm guitar. i'm doing both. i'm not letting anyone apart from us three work on this song because this is strictly all time low. this song is about you, for you, and since you're not here to record your parts, i'll do it.
i hope you're having a good time, wherever you are. i hope you're rocking out to the song that's going to be released soon. tomorrow, probably. on day 100. rock out to it with tom, with mitch lucker, with whoever you're partying it up with. i miss you. i love you. and i'll see you when i see you.
goodbye jack-o.
but see, the thing is, i love you so much further than to the moon and back,
and i am forever yours,
alex.
i survived 99 days without you. i also survived a full tour without you there, by my side. it sucked, but i survived. i forced myself to stop writing these letters to you, because the guys found them and almost read them but i yelled and took them and hid them. they're worried about me still. i don't write anymore, but i still think about you. i talk to you, every night. i like to think that you're up in the sky, amongst the stars. maybe you're bonding with tom. i think you two would've been great friends. tell him hi for me. i miss him. i miss you, too. i still can't stop thinking about you. jesus christ i miss you so fucking much. it's hit me like a tidal wave that you're never, ever coming back. i accepted it, slowly moved on. moved on with my life. not from you. i could never move on from you. i wanted to drink myself half to death. slit my wrists open.
but i can't, because whenever i meet fans on the road, or even when i'm at home... they all tell me that they know i'm feeling terrible, that they know i want to give up, but i shouldn't because they stayed strong for me. they stayed strong because i told them to, because i made them promise to not hurt themselves again. that music would always be there for them. that i would always be there for them.
they're right.
so i've turned to music. and music has helped me so much more than it has before. maybe it's because i know that i can actually write proper songs now, or maybe it's because i'm determined to have your memory live on forever through a song. and i've written one and i can't record it yet, because i cry even when i'm just giving it a test run. rian tracked the drums already. zack's recorded his bass parts. all that's left is the lead and rhythm guitar. i'm doing both. i'm not letting anyone apart from us three work on this song because this is strictly all time low. this song is about you, for you, and since you're not here to record your parts, i'll do it.
i hope you're having a good time, wherever you are. i hope you're rocking out to the song that's going to be released soon. tomorrow, probably. on day 100. rock out to it with tom, with mitch lucker, with whoever you're partying it up with. i miss you. i love you. and i'll see you when i see you.
goodbye jack-o.
but see, the thing is, i love you so much further than to the moon and back,
and i am forever yours,
alex.
♠ ♠ ♠