Hold My Heart

Warning: smutty times ahead whoops

I spent all day thinking about what Vic had said that morning. Just stay away from me from now on. I felt like I was going to be sick. I couldn't lose him. He was everything to me, and I needed him. I felt like if I didn't then I wouldn't be able to keep my promise and stay clean.

All morning I had to fight the urge to just run home and lock myself in the bathroom, finding false comfort in a razor blade. I had been clean for four days, ever since Vic found me at home and we got intimate afterwards. I couldn't believe that he thought that I would cheat on him after doing that. After rejecting him the first time and making it clear that I wasn't ready, I had finally somewhat opened myself up to him, and now he thinks that it was all fake all because of Jesse.

Fucking Jesse. I couldn't even stand to look at him during sixth period. Everything that was happening was all his fault. I knew that he kept glancing at me, along with everyone else in that class. It was like none of them had ever seen a homosexual before. Everyone just kept staring at me like I was some kind of freak. Except for Jeremy. He was the only one who acted out on it by pushing me into the lockers several times, resulting in dark purple bruises along my sides and arms.

When the end of the school day rolled around, I decided that I needed to have a talk with Vic, a proper one. I had to explain to him what really happened, it felt like my life depended on it. It was like Vic was holding my heart, my heart that beat for only him, and right now he was squeezing the life out of it. But I would wait to talk to him later, after I had devised some sort of speech that would surely get him back.

I was sitting on the bus, contemplating exactly what I would say, when the large vehicle rolled around a familiar bend in the road that I knew led to Vic's street. I stared out the filthy window, seeing that his car was already parked in the driveway. Suddenly I felt like I couldn't wait any longer to talk to him. I rushed out of my seat, flying towards the front of the bus.

"Stop!" I called. "Stop the bus! I have to get off here!"

The bus halted to a stop, almost making me topple over in front of everyone if I hadn't gripped onto the seats on either side of me.

"Kid, this isn't your stop. You can't just - hey!" the driver called, but I was already racing off of the bus. With a shake of her head, the driver pulled off down the road again, leaving me standing terrified in front of Vic's house. What if Vic wouldn't let me explain? What if he still didn't forgive me? I tried to push the daunting thoughts back from my mind, but they still lingered.

I took several deep breaths before ringing the doorbell and waiting in anticipation. Eventually, Vic opened the door. As soon as he saw me, he tried to slam the door shut in my face, but I held it open.

"Please, Vic, just let me explain! I need to tell you what really happened!" I exclaimed. Vic rolled his eyes and scoffed, stepping back into the living room. I took the opportunity to let myself inside, shutting the door quietly behind me. When I turned around, I saw Vic disappear up the stairs, probably going to his room, and I ran after him. I reached his room on the second floor and saw Vic pacing around the room quickly.

"I seriously can't believe you Kellin. I saw you kissing him! What, do you want me that it was an accident? You just tripped and fell into his face?" he ranted. I started shaking a little bit. I knew that Vic would never hurt me, but to say that he was intimidating when he was angry was an understatement.

"Vic, please calm down and let me explain. I didn't kiss him. He kissed me, and I pushed him away," I said, desperately wishing for him to listen. Vic stopped pacing and looked at me.

"Do you seriously expect me to believe that?" he asked. Dammit, why wouldn't he believe me?! I took a step closer, making the gap between us about three feet.

"Yes, please, you have to trust me! And all the rumors about me asking for sex aren't true at all. Jesse kissed me first and said that if I rejected him that he would tell everyone that I was gay, which he did. I would never cheat on you, I promise," I explained, while taking baby steps closer to him. Once I finished speaking, I was right in front of him. He didn't look angry anymore, just hurt and confused. I noticed tears starting to brim in the corners of his eyes. I took his hands in mine, and when he tried to pull away I just held them tighter, staring into his eyes the whole time.

"Please believe me," I whispered. Vic bit his lip and looked away and a stray tear rolled down his cheek.

"I don't know if I can," he whispered back. I felt tears forming in my own eyes. I let go of his hands and took a step back. I was starting to grow angry. Now it was my turn to yell.

"Vic I need you to believe me! I've been through hell today from kids all making fun of me and calling me out for being 'the gay kid' and all because I rejected someone so that I could be with you! I never wanted Jesse, and I never will, because I only want you! I let myself be intimate with you and care about you while I'm going through other shit too, and all because I love y-" I stopped myself. A look of shock crossed both Vic's face and mine as we both realized what I was about to say.

"What?" Vic whispered. I guess I hadn't even really noticed until now that I was in love with him, but to me it made sense. It felt right. Deep down I had known for a while that I was in love with Victor Fuentes. Now I just had to see if he felt the same.

"Were you about to say that you love me?" he asked quietly. I swallowed thickly before slightly nodding my head. Vic took a few steps forward until his chest was nearly pressed against mine. I could feel his hot breath on my face as he took my hands in his once more. I looked up at his big brown eyes which were still tear-stained, but he wasn't crying anymore. One side of his mouth was curled up in a smirk.

"I love you too, Kellin Quinn," he confessed before pressing his lips to mine. I was suddenly feeling ecstatic. Vic loved me back! I pulled my hands away from his and tangled them in his hair instead, and he rested his on my hips. Vic deepened the kiss by sliding his tongue into my mouth. I moaned at the feeling of his tongue gliding against mine. Vic squeezed my hips once, then moved his hands down to my ass. This sweet loving kiss was quickly turning hot and heated. We both pulled away, panting, and tore off each other's shirts. Before Vic pulled me back to him, he stopped to examine my shirtless body, and he froze.

"Kellin, what happened?" he asked. Confused, I looked down at my side and saw the bruising that Jeremy and his crew had left today.

"It's nothing, babe. Jeremy was just being an asshole. It doesn't matter," I said quickly, hoping that he would forget about it for now. Vic frowned before pulling me back in for another fiery kiss. After several minutes of this, he pulled away again and we stared at each other for a minute, silently asking each other how far we wanted to go.

"I'm ready," I told him. Vic gave me a doubtful look.

"Are you sure?" he asked. I was sure. I knew that no matter what happened, I wouldn't regret it. I wanted my first time to be with Vic, and I wanted it to happen now. It just felt right.

Instead of answering his question, I pulled his head forward and crashed his lips into mine. That was all the okay he needed. He guided me slowly back to his bed, pushing me down onto it gently, and we crawled back together until my head was resting on his pillows. He quickly reconnected our lips, and if there was one word I would use to describe what the kiss felt like, it was passionate. After having him angry at me all weekend and getting bullied by everyone at school, I was so relieved to have him back that I wanted to love him in every way possible to show him that he was worth it.

Vic was supporting himself on his forearms, which rested on either side of my head, and my arms were wrapped around his bare back. As I deepened the kiss, he started slowly grinding his hips into mine. I moaned at the friction and moved my hands all around his body, touching him everywhere: his back, his chest, his ass, wherever I could reach. Vic moved his head to the side and started kissing and sucking at my neck. I stopped groping him, and placed one hand on the back of his neck and tangled the other one in his hair.

As Vic continued to grind our lower halves together, I could feel how hard he was getting, and that only turned me on more. Vic moaned as he traced sloppy kisses down my neck and chest. I gasped as he littered kisses on my pale stomach and around my navel. My skin prickled up in goosebumps as his lips neared a certain area, but he didn't touch it. He took his time undoing the button and zipper on my jeans and slowly pulled them off, along with my shoes and socks. He licked a line just above the waistband of my boxers and nibbled lightly on my hips. I looked down. Red marks formed on my porcelain white skin wherever Vic grazed his teeth, and I was glad. I wanted to have some physical proof that we had done this, even if the marks would only last for a few days. I was sure I had some hickeys on my neck too.

Vic lightly pressed his lips against the bulge in my boxers and I whimpered. I was extremely sensitive at the moment, and was desperate for any kind of pleasure. Vic looked up at me and smirked. He was trying to tease me and I knew it. He continued to kiss and fondle my member, which was feeling too restrained inside the soft fabric of my underwear.

"Please," I begged. Vic obeyed by pulling my boxers off and letting my hard member slap back against my stomach. He leant forward and licked up the underside of it. I moaned and tightly gripped the sheets beside me. I hoped that the teasing would stop there, and it did. I gasped as he sucked all of me into his mouth. Vic had given me a blowjob only once before, and I didn't think I would ever get used to the feeling of his warm mouth wrapped around me, adding just the right amount of pressure and suction to each area. I eventually had to stop him before I came in his mouth. I wanted this to last longer than just a blowjob. Vic made his way back up to me and kissed me fervently. I pushed him away gently so that I could speak.

"You are still wearing way too many clothes," I said. Vic smiled and bit his lip before sitting up so that he could take off his jeans. When he had discarded all of his clothing, he crawled back on top of me. I hitched my legs around his hips and pressed our naked bodies together as our lips reconnected. Every ounce of my being was craving him. I wanted him. I wanted him in every single way possible. I wanted - no, I needed him inside of me.

Vic pulled back and stared at me lustfully. I smiled, ecstatic that this was finally happening. Vic kissed my forehead once before reaching into the nightstand next to the bed and pulling out a condom and lube. I didn't know why he had them, maybe he had been planning to have sex with me soon. I didn't care, I was just grateful that we had them now.

"Are you 100% sure you want to do this?" Vic asked. It was sweet that he was being so considerate, but honestly, the only thing on my mind right now was his cock inside of me.

"I'm sure. I've never wanted anything more in my life," I replied. Vic grinned and tore open the condom wrapper, rolling the condom onto his length. I felt my nerves start to build when he squirted some lube onto his fingers. Before he entered them, he looked up and me. I guess he could tell how scared I was. He started rubbing my thigh soothingly.

"Just relax, baby. You'll be okay. I'll try to make it feel as good as possible," Vic said in a comforting tone. I nodded and took a deep breath. I stared straight up at the ceiling as Vic entered one lubed up finger inside of me. It was a little uncomfortable, but not painful at all. Vic moved it in and out for a minute, and I started getting used to the feeling. He then added a second finger, and that one stung a little bit. Vic continued to rub my thigh with his free hand, and it calmed me down a little bit.

When he entered a third finger, I accidentally let out a whimper of pain and Vic gave me an apologetic look. I could definitely feel myself being stretched out, and I'll tell you what, it was a pain in the ass. Literally. I had to bite down on my lip to try to hide my discomfort. I didn't want Vic feeling too guilty. He moved the hand that was resting on my thigh to my dick and started stroking it at the same pace as his fingers were moving, trying to distract my pain with pleasure. I focused on the feeling of his hand moving up and down my shaft, and eventually, the pain in my backside subsided somewhat.

"Are you ready?" Vic asked after several minutes. I thought about it before answering. I guessed that I was as ready as I would ever be.

"Yeah," I replied with a shaky voice. My heart was beating wildly in my chest. Vic pulled out his fingers and leaned forward to kiss me. I savored the sweet taste of his lips. I wanted to do this, no matter how painful it was. I needed to express my love for Vic in some way other than words. He rested his forehead against mine.

"You're gonna be okay. I won't hurt you," he whispered. I smiled.

"I know you won't," I whispered back.

Vic pecked my lips one last time before shifting back to a kneeling position. I watched as he lathered some lube onto his large member. When it was thoroughly coated, he pushed my legs back until my thighs were pressed against my chest. He told me to hold them there, and I did. I was starting to get anxious again. I trusted him when he said he wouldn't hurt me, at least not intentionally, but I didn't want to do something stupid in front of him. I took a deep breath to calm myself down, and I soon felt his tip pressing against me. He pushed in slowly and I had to resist from crying out or moving away. His dick was a lot bigger than his fingers, and it was pretty painful. When he was all the way in, he stopped to give me a moment to adjust.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. You can move now," I said. Vic pulled almost all the way out, and slid back in slowly. He repeated that motion over and over again, and the pain was starting to turn into a numb feeling. Vic, on the other hand, was trembling above me, obviously trying to stop himself from going too quickly.

"H-holy f-fuck Kells. Ugh, you're so tight," Vic groaned. He leaned forward and hovered over me, supporting himself with one hand and using the other to lift up my bottom for easier access. He had his eyes tightly shut and his jaw was dropped. The sight above me was so damn attractive, and I urged Vic to go faster. He complied by thrusting in at a regular pace, but still not too fast. I was still just feeling numb down there, but it was worth it to see my boyfriend's face as he felt such pleasure.

Suddenly, Vic brushed up against something that had my toes tingling. I gasped. Vic smirked and aimed for that spot again. I let out an involuntary moan as he started fucking me faster. I reached up and pulled him down for a needy kiss. Holy shit, this felt fantastic. I didn't know that someone could make me feel so good! Vic broke the kiss so that we could breathe. We were both panting heavily, and I could tell that Vic was close to finishing. I wasn't far behind, but I still wasn't quite as close as him. I think he realized this too, and he reached between us and started stroking me quickly. I was suddenly overcome with pleasure as I neared reaching my peak. I raked my nails across his back.

"Aahh! Ugh, Vic! Fuck, I love you so much," I cried out.

"I love you too, baby. I'm so c-close," Vic muttered. I nodded, telling him that I was too. Vic started pumping his hand faster, and that tipped me over the edge. I shot onto my stomach with a loud moan and a string of filthy words. Vic looked down at the sight below him and groaned, burying his face into my shoulder. He threw his head back as he stalled inside me, and I knew that he was coming. I probably could have come again just from seeing the look of pure ecstasy on his face. It was the hottest thing I had ever witnessed.

After he finished, he pulled out and fell onto the bed next to me. I took a minute to catch my breath before turning to look at Vic. I saw that he had already been staring at me and I blushed.

"What?" I asked.

"You're just so beautiful," Vic whispered in response. His expression was one filled with complete love and adoration, and my heart melted. My face broke out into a huge grin, and I shifted over so that I was cuddling into his side. Vic kissed the top of my head.

"I love you, Kellin," he said.

"I love you too, Vic."