Self Sacrifice

Andy had fallen asleep on his lap. They'd been watching Will & Grace, Andy was lying down with his head on Austin's lap. His fingers had absent-mindedly made their way into that shock of soft raven black hair, and as he'd been fiddling, Andy's eyelids had begun to droop, and he fell asleep.

Austin had been thinking about what had happened. He didn't regret telling Andy that he loved him, not even for a second. But there was still a lot of fear around it. It was a huge step, one that Austin hadn't taken with anyone...well, for a long time, at least.
It felt stupid to say that he felt they were too serious, because he knew that Andy was only staying in his house because he was recovering. But it felt like they were living together, and it took a lot not to get scared and push him away. Because that's what Austin was good at - pushing people away, being cold. It was what he was used to.

He moved his arm towards the remote to select a new episode, and tried not to think about anything else. It wasn't until Andy shifted in his lap and woke him up, that he realised Andy had been asleep for three hours, and himself for two.
"You didn't have nightmares." Austin remarked as he looked down at him. Andy smiled and it spread warmth through him, so much so that he couldn't resist kissing him.

"Anyway, you have been holed up in here for too long, this is our day together. Is there anything you wanna do?"

"I'd say a walk on the beach would be nice, but I can't get sand or water on my cast. There's another kind of exercise thought that doesn't require me leaving the house...or clothes."

"Don't. You know I don't have self control when it comes to you."

"Oh, so you won't mind me doing this then." Austin watched, amused as Andy scrambled to his feet - then struggled to stay upright as he pulled his top off slowly. Austin's eyes darkened and his pulse thrummed deep and low as he moved onto his trousers, sending them to the floor in one swift movement. He played with the hem of his boxers, turning round - and that was the mistake. Austin suddenly retracted. From here, he could see just how huge the massive incisions were that stretched the length of his back - tainting his pure white skin. Some of the cuts on his sides and legs had healed, but they still remained in a dark brown scab. Andy sensed the change and froze as he realised why.

That tense line in his shoulders said everything - the sadness, the pain, but most of all, a deep rooted humiliation that Austin had prayed he'd never have to endure.
He stood up but Andy was already trying to hobble away from him. Austin grabbed his shoulders and pulled the smaller man flush against him, hugging him from behind.

"Let go."

"Never." He stood back and began kissing Andy's neck, working on the spot that he knew like driving down a familiar road.

He kissed his shoulders, down his back, his sides, then spun him round and kissed up his chest - over every scar, every mark - as Andy cried silently.
"You're beautiful...you're sexy. I just hate that I wasn't there to stop him. It's just a reminder of what you endured for me, and that in itself is painful. Not how you look."

"Who are you trying to convince? Im disgus-" Austin kissed him powerfully, sitting on the arm of the couch so they were around the same height, so he could pull Andy in between his legs and hold him up the curve of his back. Andy whimpered as he dominated him - Austin felt the need in his touch, the need to be reassured, to be taken control of, and Austin was definitely the best man for the job.

Andy pushed up into his hand involuntarily as he reached inside his boxers.
"You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen and I love you." Andy clutched onto his shoulders as he got rougher with him, pulling away the material and going down on him, holding the top of his thighs.
He stood and undressed himself, not undertaking any more preparation than what was necessary to stop Andy from being hurt before pushing inside. Andy's body was like an open book as Austin did was thy both needed. He needed to feel the smaller, vulnerable, yet still strong body beneath his fingers, and Andy needed to give up control for once, needed to lose himself, allow himself to be completely free. They came quickly, sweat, hot breath and frantic heartbeats against one another for a few minutes before Austin pulled out and kissed him.

"Let's go out to dinner."

"...what the hell." Andy shrugged in agreement and they laughed, leaving for a shower.

"Thank you for today...it's been good."

"Thank you, I think I needed a day off as well." Andy smiled and Austin paid the waiter.

"Austin!" They both jumped as Dan called out, rushing over to them.

"What?"

"José Matriano is approaching L.A. as we speak."

"What? Is Veronés with him?"

"No. We've had calls from Siobhan and Gemma, they saw him pass and have been following - he's alone in one car."

"Ok....we'll go home and wait for him then, in that case. You two...maybe you two should take Andy-"

"No."

"What?"

"I want to see him." Austin met his eyes in concern but nodded with a hint of pride when he saw the determination there.

"Ok, let's go. Sean's in the car." They left quickly. Andy wasn't even nervous as they sat in Austin's house...waiting for the man to turn up. He wasn't even afraid, and he wasn't sure wether that in itself made him proud or upset.

When the knock came, Sean opened it and José held up his hands.
"I don't have a weapon, search me. Search the car."

"Charles already had the vehicle scanned - there's no malicious device on it." Dean read out from a text. Austin nodded and gestured for him to come in.

"I came to tell you that I'm no longer working with Miguel." Andy stared at the man who sat in the chair opposite Austin.

"Why?"

"When....Andy, is it? I'm so sorry." He interrupted his answer to Austin's question and Andy could see the shame on his face.

"I...when Miguel said he wanted to hurt you I never thought for a moment he'd mean to do those sorts of things...and to someone like you no less...." He trailed off and shook his head, no longer able to meet Andy's eyes.

"..well that was when I realised that Miguel had started to lose it. He's gone completely on the warpath - he killed his own brother. He thinks he killed Juan out of kindness - because he thinks someone like you would take him from him. So he thought it better to kill him himself." José wiped his eyes wearily.

"I don't know what he's capable of anymore..and I had to warn someone."