Bless Your Beautiful Heart

When I woke up the next morning, the smell of bacon wafted into my living room and I smiled big. I could Kellin talking with Harlow in the kitchen and I giggled at how much this all felt like family.
"Morning sunshine!"
Kellin said turning from Harlow to kiss me on the cheek. As Harlow walked past me and kellin turned back to the bacon, Harlow winked. I just shook my head.
"I have a feeling that there's things you need to tell me. Girls night?" She whispered and I nodded.
Kellin looked so cute cooking breakfast for me. His hand smoothly flipping things in the skillet, his other pouring milk in a bowl of pancake mix. It reminded me of a very rare time when I was little that the family got together for a good, warm breakfast. Kellins affection was making me feel that same happiness.
"Well aren't you quite the chef!? I might just have to keep you around." I said bumping my hip into his.
"Hey as long as you'll have me, I'll stay."
His phone started ringing then.
"Jesse! Hey man!"
There was only day until we left for California to visit his daughter. I couldn't wait to see her. I expected her to look exactly like kellin. I had purposely kept myself from asking him for pictures.i wanted it to be a surprise.
"Ok so Jesse wants to have lunch. Meet you here afterwards?" He asked.
"Of course." I replied and smiled. The perfect opportunity to go out and get her a gift and some things for our trip, with Harlow.
He grabbed my hands and said "ok, because I need to talk to you then."
"Sure." He turned back to the pan then, dumping the bacon on a plate and the pancakes on another.
"You and Harlow enjoy this ok? I'm gonna run. I need to shower and pack for this trip before lunch." He said making plates for Harlow and I before grabbing a pancake and two pieces of bacon for himself. Walking past me he gripped my chin softly and kissed my forehead and continued.
"Have a good morning addilyn smith! I'll see you later. Don't you forget!" He called back to me.
"Never, kellin Quinn!" I called back. He winked and then gone he was.
"HARLOW! LETS EAT!"

~~~~~~~~~

Harlow and I were Toys R' Us bound, looking down every isle trying to pick the best gift.
"So he has cancer?" Harlow said picking up a stuffed frog and setting it back down with a disgusted expression.
"No Harlow. He has a tumor that's dormant. It's dead and shrinking. It's just that he has a chance of it becoming inflamed again. I mean," I said, testing the fluff in some teddy hears we had just come across. ", it's next to impossible but we don't want to push our luck by saying it."
"Are you guys like...together? Because it seems really obvious that you are."
"Um... I'm actually not sure. He's been really sweet and everything. Yesterday at the doctors when we left he kissed me. Like REALLY kissed me. But I can't help but think that it was an in the moment thing. Caught up in the excitement."
"That's just the thing addy, you think too much. He better God Damn like you! He's taking you to see his child for crying out loud!" She was right.
"Well, it's just confusing because right now it's just been more on the friendship side of things."
I found the perfect stuffed bunny just then that was irresistibly soft and fluffy. She was going to love it.
"If I have to knock some sense into him I will. You deserve this and you finally have it. I've never seen you glow like this." Harlow said.
"I just don't want to move too fast. The thing is though, I feel... Like I've known him my whole life. It's just so easy to do. To fall so hard." I admitted.
"Exactly."
A smile spread on my face and it stayed until we were back home. I put the finishing touches in my suit case and felt relieved that I was getting a vacation. Also that kellin and I were getting somewhere. It still made me happy even though we didn't exactly have a destination in our relationship yet. But I didn't care as long as it wasn't disappearing.

~~~~~~

I made my daily trip to my market smiling and waving at all of the people working the many vendors who have come to know me over the years. Lunch was my priority, but really I didn't think that I could eat something with all my excitement and nervousness. I wish kellin was here with me, but I know he's tied down with Jesse. I devoted to give him a call anyway just to say hi.

KELLIN POV

"Yea well anyway dude, I was thinking that when you get that thing out we could start the tour back up!" Jesse suggested making my head snap up at both thoughts that were running through my mind right now.
1. My excitement to play again was overwhelming. But.
2. My sadness for knowing I would have to leave addilyn here alone just like I left copeland, was just as overwhelming. And speaking of angles, addilyn a ring tone came buzzing through my phone and I held up a finger to Jesse, silently asking for his patience.
"Hey beautiful. What's up?"
"Hey kel. Just at the market picking up some lunch for Harlow and myself. How's your lunch going with Jesse?"
"It's great. Were having a good time catching up." Jesse made a corny lovey dovey face and wiggled his fingers towards me while batting his eye lashes. I laughed and said, "he says hello by the way."
"Hi Jesse!"
"When we get back from our trip I'll take you to meet the guys."
"Alright sounds good to me. I'm still going to see you later right?" She said, her voice so soft and fragile.
"Wouldn't miss it for the world."
"Alright, bye kellin." The smile was so evident in her words.
"Goodbye addilyn."
Jesse locked eyes with me then, his expression in between serious and understanding.
"Ok." Was all he said. I was scared that I had disappointed my best friend until he said this:
"She's coming with us."
"What? No, she can't. She... She has someone she lives with that splits the rent with her. I'm not sure if she has a job or not but she holds responsibilities there
I can't pull her from that."
"Dude, we can pay for her part. Don't you remember how much we make per show? Plus you guys can call this home. The place you can always come back to."
The more I thought about it, the better it sounded and yet somehow I had this feeling that she was going to say no. But I guess I won't know until I ask. Another thing to add to the list of things to talk to her about.

ADDILYN POV

Lunch with Harlow was short. She has some arans to run before dinner tonight with her man. Leaving me sat alone to wait for kellin. Tomorrow morning we were leaving for California. My imagination was running wild thinking of what his daughter would look like, how his ex wife might react to seeing me. Will his daughter even like me?
"Addilyn? Are you ok?"
I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even hear kellin come in.
"Yes I'm sorry. I was just thinking." He walked in front of me and put a hand out.
"Let's go talk."
Kellin took us to a park and pulled a blanket from his trunk. Once we were seated, I took a deal breath in and gave into the warm breeze around us.
"You first." He said.
I sighed and said, "what if she doesn't like me? Your daughter?"
"She's going to love you addilyn. Don't worry. She's the happiest little girl I've ever met." He said and I nodded.
"Katelyn can be a bitch but... I'm pretty sure that for copelands sake, she will be respectful."
"Copeland? That's a beautiful name." I smiled to myself and looked at him when he sat up.
"So... I wanted to get it out in the open that we obviously have something... Right?" He asked.
"Yes. I mean... I think so. That kiss sure did feel like something." I said smiling. I didn't let him say anything more, so I wrapped my arms around him.
"I don't know what we have. But I don't want to put labels on it. I'll be honest and say that I really really like you and what makes it better is that I feel like I've known you my whole life. I don't want to ruin it by going so fast. So let's just keep it slow ok?"
He was silent for a moment but what he said next made my heart drop.
"Is it because of my tumor?" He whispered. My grip loosened and I switched from his shoulders to his face and held his cheeks gently in my hands.
"Kellin Quinn. Tumor or no tumor, I still want you in my life. It's me... I'm scared of messing up. Diving into stuff is not my thing. I'm sorry if that's not fair but...I just want to know you first. I want to meet copeland first and meet your band and produce a tiny family of friends and know you deeply. Every crevasse of your mind and thought and body. There's no telling what the future holds but I want to FIND OUT not have it handed to me."
He smiled then kissing my cheek. His expression said understanding but his eyes were sad and I felt bad of course but I was sticking to my heart. I dab my fingers slowly through his hair. Soft... The color of midnight.
"Well, since were doing this this way, you could at least make it so that u don't want to kiss you so badly."
He said smirking and my breath caught. I dropped my hand from his hair and he later down, closing his eyes. After admiring and feeling guilty at the same time, I finally, all in one motion swooped down and gave his lips a quick peck before I later my head on his chest.
"So Jesse said something about going back on tour after my surgery."
But...
"I was going to ask you if you wanted to come with us."
"On tour? For how long?"
"Three months, for the summer."
"...kellin-"
"No, I know. I know you have obligations to Harlow and stuff but," he sat us up then ",the money I'll make on our first show will be enough to cover your rent for two months. I can get you anything you need. I'll take care of everything ok? Look addilyn, I understand you want to go slow but not being able to see you for 3 whole months is impossible. I won't have it. I think it would be the best opportunity for you to get it would be the best offmortinoty for you to get to see every side of me. Our bonding time."
"Ok ok! Kellin I'll go!"
"What?" He asked in disbelieve.
"Yea I'll go. I work online anyway so it's not like I would be missing work. We can always send Harlow money. Plus 3 months isn't that long. And your right it's like the ultimate way to get to know you."
"Addilyn smith... Don't fuck with me." He said and I bursts out laughing.
"Kellin I'm not. I really want to go with you. I want to be with you. " he just stared at me and then with those puppy dog eyes of his.
"Do you know that your beautiful?"
I laughed and said ," shut up" and shoved him lightly back down to the ground where we stayed for the rest of the evening until the pictures in the clouds disappeared.