Bless Your Beautiful Heart

Kellin and I met eachother at starbucks the next morning. As well as harlow and her guy so that could take my car back to the house. Befor I knew it, we were pulling our luggage through the airport, dodging poparrazi as we went, looking for our gate. Once we found it, we searches for breakfast. Everything this whole morning had been wordless. It was very early and neither of us wanted to be awake. We were like robots attatched by the hand while we ate our bagels. And then made our way back to our gate. It was only once we were about to take off that my tiredness shattered and was replaced with worry and fear. Yes I had flown before. Yes I always got alittle scared and usually got over it. But taking off is the worst. When we started to move I quickly grabbed kellins hand and sat back in my seat taking deep breaths.
"Kellin..."
"Its ok beautiful. Just relax." He said and kissed my cheek. We landed in california several hours later and I was so relieved to get off the plane. I would have kissed the ground if I could have. Kellin got us a rental car and we drove to a hotel that wasn't far from where katelynn and copeland lived. I had to admit, I was overly nervous. I kind of felt like throwing up when we got in the car to make our visit.
"I'm scared." He put a hand out to me and I gladly took it.
"Me to. " he said.
When we got there, katelynn was standing on the porch. I immediately got self concious. She's soooooooooo beautiful. I didn't even come near her. Why me kellin?...
She was tall, thin, her hair deep brown and cascading down around her mid section, and her pride on her sleeve. She looked mean but she was so beautiful it was unbelievable.
"Ok so that's katelynn. Just be yourself ok? " he smiled at me and we got out.
"Kellin." Her voice rang out happily as she greeted us and lightly hugged him.
"Hey katelynn." He replied.
"You must be addilyn?" She almost sneered but kept her happy façade and struck a hand out for me to shake.
"Yup that's me." I said with my own unsure smile.
"You mind if I have a word with you?" She asked.
"Yeah sure no problem." We walked to keliin and i's rental car and leaned on the back of it.
"Ok I don mean to interrogate you. I'm just going to ask you a few questions." She saidnon challantly. But my distaste for that word was obvious.
"Are you together?"
"Sort of. We've only known each other for about three week. I've made it clear I'm in no hurry."
"Do you want to be with him?" She asked looking away. Icould tell she was still upset from them splitting up. But I answered as honestly as I could remembering kellins words in the back of my mind. JUST BE YOURSELF.
"From the moment I met kellin, it felt like I've known him my entire life. Its easy to be around him. To fall quickly for him. To want to spread happiness, to create it. For him and with him. He's genuine and heartfelt and its so plainly written on his face that its hard to imagine myself without him. He pulled me from a deep place and now I feel like me again."
My breath caught in my throat but not enough for her to notice. I felt like my ears were decieving me. That the words that had just come out of me weren't the most precious words I had ever spoken. Yes maybe I said them a million times in my head but saying them out loud gave then a whole new light.
She had looked my way as my words got sweeter and sweeter.
"You love him." She said and looked so sad.
Did I? Do I love kellin? I love kellin? I love kellin...
I peeked over at him from over my shoulder and he was on his phone.
"Yes." I whispered.
"Take care of him. Please. With everything you've got. I failed. I need you to do better. He deserves it. Promise me." I looked at her and smiled.
"I promise."
"Thank you."
"Of course."
I followed her back to kellin who put his phone down.
"Ready?" He asked me, holding out a hand and I took it.
"As I'll ever be." Katelynn stayed back and I was glad. I definitley didn't want her breathing down my neck.
And then there she was, sipping juice from a black sippycup and her eyes glued to the tv. Kellin instructed me to stay back first and then went to stand behind her.
"Hey coco!!!!!!!!" He said and she whipped around quick, almost dropping her cup before running to kellin.
"Daddy!!!" She cried. Kellin bent, scooping her up and spinning her in circles. They giggled together and all I could do was smile. The fear was still strong in the back of my head. I felt like if I were to get close to her, she would run. This vision in my head kept playing over and over. The crying face she would have was enough to break my heart. I wanted this image to go away.
"Daddy who's dat?" She asked, pointing to me.
"Coco theres someone I want you to meet ok?" Kellin said. She smiled big at me and shook her head yes. Kellin motioned for me to come over and he could see the sickness on my face that I knew I was feeling. But I walked over anyway, gift in hand.
"Hi copeland." I cooed. She smiled and lifted a hand, waving. I looked at kellin, feeling like I was going to run.
"I have a present for you, you wunna open it?" She wiggled in kellins arms and he let her down. She ran to the couch and patted one of the cooshens telling me to sit. I laughed and followed kellin.
"Copeland, this is addy. Can you say addy?"
"Addy." She responded.
"Addy is very important to daddy, so be very nice ok?" She shook her head yes and then faced me, putting her arms out. I looked at kellin and then back to her.
"Hug." She said and I smiled and put my arms out too. She layed her tiny head on my chest and squeezed as tight as she could. So cute. Then she stood straight and kissed my cheek.
"Thank you." I cooed.
"Wecom." She laughed and then turned to her gift in a bag on the table.
"Open it coco!!" Kellin said. She starte throwing the tissue around and looked in the bag and gasped.
"BUNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!" She squeeled and did a little dance before pulling it out and squeezed it to death. Kellin and I laughed but soon she was in my arms again.
"Dank you." She whispered and my eyes watered.
"What have you got baby?!" Katelynn said from the doorway.
"Mommy, look!" She ran from me to katelynn, her bunny held out in front of her.
"Oh my gosh a bunny!"
"Yaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!" She screamed.
"Did you say thank you?" Katelynn asked and copeland shook her head yes. Kellin layed a hand on my knee and katelynn gave me a smile and a nod. Everything was so wonderful and all of my fear had dissipated.
Kellin leaned over and whispered "are you ok?" And I shook my head yes.
"Better than ever."
One goal down, and two to go. :)