Lungs

I had been to a few biker weddings before. There was, of course, the time that Jax had married Wendy, and I had also been there when Opie had married Donna. As much as I liked Lyla, and despite the fact that she seemed better equipped to embrace the club lifestyle than Donna ever had, I still felt that she was nothing more than a convenient rebound for Opie. The fact that their relationship had progressed to this point had surprised me. Now that I’d gotten used to it, I saw that they could actually be good for one another.

“Can you keep a secret?”

I looked over at Tara in surprise. The drive thus far had been nearly silent. She had decided to bring her car out to the reserve where the event was set to take place, as she was Lyla’s maid of honour. We both knew that if we’d chosen to ride with the boys our hair would have been ruined, and even I wasn't stupid enough to get on a bike with completely bare legs.

“I’m pretty sure that no Teller is born without the ability to hold their tongue. Mom doesn’t fit into that category; she married into this family, she wasn’t born into it,” I added, silencing her argument before she even had the chance to voice it.

She gave me a nervous smile, as though she still wasn’t certain that she could trust me with this. After a few moments, she gave in. “Jax asked me to marry him today.”

I laughed sharply. “Took him long enough.”

Tara’s eyes widened briefly as she turned off of the highway and onto a gravel back road. “What do you mean? You and Juice have been together just as long as we have.”

“No, we haven’t. You guys were together in high school, too. Not to mention the fact that you have a kid together, and you’re raising his other son as your own. Juice and I don’t have anything like that. And I’m just not sure I’m ready to be a wife just yet.”

“Yeah, but you stuck around while he was in prison for over a year. That says something.”

I shrugged. “That says I don’t have anywhere else to go, and no one better than him came along while he was gone.”

Tara smirked at me. “I’m sure that’s all it is.”

I stared through the windshield at the dusty road before us. “I love him,” I admitted. “If he asked me, I’d probably marry him. But he’s nowhere near asking, and I am very okay with that. But congratulations to you guys. Seriously. I’m glad he finally figured out that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him.”

She chuckled, but didn’t disagree. “Thanks, Lexi.”

We pulled up alongside Mom’s shiny black Escalade on a patch of grass. Tara immediately left me alone; she still had some last minute things to help out with. I wandered over to where a crowd had gathered beneath the trees.

“Glad you could make it,” Opie greeted me as I approached.

“As if I would miss my brother’s wedding,” I said, smiling in reply. I gave him a tight hug. “Oh,” I held up my index finger, as if to tell him that I had one more thing to say. “I just remembered. Juice and I gave you separate presents. When you see what he gave you, you’ll understand why I couldn’t let him put my name on it.”

Opie gave me a puzzled look, but I carried on before I was asked to explain anything more. Following my heart surgery a couple of years before, I had been forced to go on a heart healthy diet. Juice had, for some unknown reason, decided that healthy living was something that he needed to be a part of. He bought in to the weed and colonic shop in Charming, and now he seemed to feel that gift certificates to his own business were appropriate gifts for every occasion. I wasn’t about to let Opie and Lyla think that I’d given them a couple of colon cleanses for their wedding.

“Come over and sit with us, baby,” Mom waved me over to where she was sitting with her own newly-released convict of a second husband, Clay. I nodded at her, but didn’t react to her request otherwise.

It was impossible to miss the gathered group of bikers who had not yet seated themselves. I walked up next to the nearest of the men, putting an arm around his waist. Happy looked down at me, first appearing shocked that someone was touching him, then smiling warmly.

“I didn’t see you walk up,” he told me. “I regret that. You must have made quite an entrance, dressed up like that.”

I snorted. “I missed you too, Hap. But you keep hitting on me like this, and Juice is going to get jealous.”

He squeezed my shoulders tightly. “You’re the one with her hand on my ass, sweetheart.”

I knew full well that my hand was nowhere near his ass, but I winked up at him in response. “I figured you might need some proper action after what you no doubt got in prison.”

Happy opened his mouth to say something that would probably make my skin crawl, but he was cut off by Juice clearing his throat loudly. I grinned over at him.

“I was looking for you,” I told him. I slipped out from under Happy’s arm and walked over to my boyfriend. He met me with a kiss, his hands settling on the natural curve of my waist.

“You look gorgeous,” he told me, dropping his voice so that the rest of the guys wouldn’t hear and make jokes.

“Thanks, you look alright yourself. Except for that hair. Baby, that has got to go,” I teased, reaching up and touching his slicked-back black hair. “I miss the ‘hawk.”

Juice furrowed his brow. “Really?”

I nodded. “First thing in the morning, we’re shaving this shit off.”

“He finally gets a big boy hair cut, and she talks him into going back to looking like a fourteen-year-old,” Tig rolled his eyes. He ran a hand through his wildly curly hair, shaking his head at me.

“Yeah, well no offense, Tig, but it’s much smarter for him to listen to me when it comes to this kind of shit. You might luck out and take a porn star home tonight, but he’s already gotten laid twice today.”

“Do you have to say that shit?” Jax said suddenly, looking thoroughly uncomfortable.

“Woops. Sorry, didn’t see you there,” I laughed.

Jax sighed, breaking away from the rest of the club and wandering away. “Sometimes I hate that you’re still here.”

“Love you, too,” I called after him.

I took Juice by the hand and led him over to where Mom was sitting. I sat next to her, and Juice took the seat on my other side. As everyone else began to find their chairs in anticipation of the ceremony, Juice took my hand in his.

I leaned over, resting my head on his shoulder as soft music began to play. Jax and Opie gathered at the altar, which was decorated with a superfluous amount of flowers. The sunlight filtered into the clearing, giving everything an ethereal sparkle. Tara joined them, looking beautiful in her strapless blue dress. It wasn’t long before Lyla appeared. She was like a white trash vision in white. I had to admit that she looked radiant, and the happiness in her eyes was almost enough to distract me from the fact that her dress was so short that the hem fell several inches above the garter on her thigh.

The whole thing was short and sweet, which was just how I liked it. It wasn’t long before we were moving the plastic folding chairs around tables to have our meal. Juice sat with me, resting his hand on my knee under the table. As Opie and Lyla mashed cake in one another’s faces, I looked at Juice and realized that I really would marry him if he asked me to. I was still terribly in love with him even after all our time apart, and I had been raised by people who had taught me to believe in the beauty of marriage.

“Why do you keep staring at me?” Juice asked, looking over at me with raised eyebrows.

“Because I can,” I smiled. “You’re right here beside me and I actually have the opportunity to just stare at you.”

Instead of teasing me about it, Juice leaned over and planted a kiss on my cheek bone. “If I could find a way to live while only watching you, I’d never be able to look away.”

“Who taught you to be romantic? So help me, if I find out that you were someone else’s boyfriend on the inside-”

“Alright, alright, enough with the prison rape jokes.”

I chuckled. “That was the last one, I swear.” I was still laughing when Chibs walked up and bent low between Juice and I.

“Ready?” he asked in a low, secretive tone.

As Juice got to his feet, I reached out and caught his hand. “You coming back?”

Juice looked a little upset as he was forced to admit what I didn’t want to hear. “No. We have to take that cube truck out. Since the cops are waiting at the property line, I won’t be able to come back in later.”

I nodded. “Okay. I’ll wait up.”

He bent down to kiss me before walking away with Chibs. As they headed off, Chibs wrapped his arm around Juice and said, “You’ve got yourself a keeper. Don’t you dare let her leave you.”

“I’m not planning on it,” he replied.

I watched them go, feeling lonely the moment they were out of sight. I had just gotten Juice back that morning and already he was involved in something that was probably more dangerous than he was willing to admit.

I rested my chin on the heel of my palm, drumming my fingers against my cheek. I could see Lyla dancing her heart out on the dance floor, underneath a sky of paper lanterns. She looked quite intoxicated, but she was having fun. She noticed me looking and waved me over.

“Come on, Lexi! Come have fun with me!”

I grabbed my drink off of the table and finished it in one monstrous gulp, then got to my feet and headed for the dance floor. At that precise moment, the only people there with Lyla were her son, Opie’s kids, and a couple of other porn stars. I caught sight of a familiar head of bright red hair.

“Lexi!” Madison, the girl I’d met in prison who had followed me back to Charming to pursue a career in adult entertainment, squealed as she saw me. “You look fantastic! I almost didn’t recognize you.”

I gave her a quick hug. “Thanks. I’m still getting the hang of wearing heels, but it’s getting a little better.” I glanced down at the strappy stilettos that she was wearing. My open-toed pumps seemed like a cakewalk compared to what was on her feet. “How have you been?”

She raised her hand, which was clutching a half-full champagne flute. “I’m doing wonderful.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” I told her honestly. I still considered her a friend, though I hadn’t seen her much lately. We’d both been pretty busy.

Lyla called out for Tara to join us, and soon I had to ditch my shoes in order to carry on dancing. As the night wore on, the music slowed. I found myself once again sitting alone, watching Opie dance with Lyla. Soon, Tara and Jax joined them. I wished I had thought to drive my own car out here. I would have felt a lot better waiting up at home where there was TV to watch than being here.

“If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s seeing a pretty girl sitting all alone.”

I looked up, smiling faintly at Clay. “My ride is occupied,” I nodded toward Tara. “And my boyfriend is also occupied, though I don’t know much about that.”

He held out a calloused hand. “Come on, give an old man a dance.”

I took his hand and got to my feet, letting him lead me to the dance floor. As he spun me around, far more gently than I would have thought possible, I was hit with the sudden realization that if I ever did marry Juice, this was all I would get. There would be no fairytale wedding. I wouldn’t have wanted one anyways, but it would have been nice to have the option. And it also would have been nice to have been able to dance with my real father, but that was impossible. He’d died when I was only seven. The guys in the club were all I’d had since then.

“Mom gone for the night?” I asked as I swayed to the music with my stepfather.

He nodded. “Yeah, she went to go relieve the sitter. You know she can’t leave those boys for more than a few hours at a time.”

“Yeah, that sounds about right.”

Clay twirled me delicately. “So between Juice and Jax, you didn’t spend all that much time visiting with me at Stockton. Your mom told me some, but it’d be nice to catch up with you. I missed you, kiddo.”

I smiled softly. “I missed you, too. I didn’t really miss being alone at stuff like this, though. Am I allowed to know where Juice is?”

“He’ll tell you if he wants you to know.”

I shook my head, looking into Clay’s pale blue eyes. “No, he’ll tell me if you want me to know,” I corrected him. I knew that Juice would tell me anyways, but I also knew that it could be dangerous for him if the club knew just how honest he was with me. The way I saw it, I was protecting him by giving Clay the third degree.

Clay sighed deeply, slowing his movements on the dance floor considerably. “He’s getting revenge for what happened to your brother in prison.”

I cast a sidelong look at Jax. Tara was pressed up against his chest, her arms crushed between them. Her eyes were closed, and she looked perfectly content. I’d had a lot of time to come to terms with the fact that someone had tried to kill my brother, but for the first time I really felt defensive about it. He had come to my rescue once; I wished that I had been able to do the same for him. I supposed that having Juice go and get revenge was the next best thing.

“Good,” I whispered. “Make them pay.”

Clay picked up the pace just a bit. “You heading home with Tara?”

“Yeah, she brought the car.”

“It’s nice that you girls are all getting along so well.”

My lips twitched as I fought back a smile. “Yeah, we’re damn near sisters at this point.”

The band stopped playing, and Clay and I broke apart. I looked over just in time to see Tara and Jax do the same. They exchanged a loving kiss, and I tried not to pout over the fact that Juice wasn’t there with me.

“Ready to go?” Tara walked over, clasping her hands together in front of her.

As the band packed up behind her, someone unplugged the extension cord and extinguished the glow of the paper lanterns. The magical atmosphere that had been created in the clearing vanished, and the chill of the night seemed to set in.

“Yeah, sure.” I grabbed my shoes from where I’d left them beside my chair, but the thought of putting them on was horrifying. Instead, I simply walked across the grass in my bare feet.

The lawn had been cut before the wedding, and the blades of grass were prickly against my skin. Still, the late night dew was pleasant on my tired feet.

Tara took her time driving home; since the cops were watching the guys, they surely wouldn’t hesitate to pull us over. We no longer had Unser to have our backs. The newest sheriff, Eli Roosevelt, had made it clear over the past few months that he wanted nothing to do with the club, no matter how safe they’d kept Charming in the past.

I said goodnight to Tara when she dropped me off, then traipsed lazily up the sidewalk to the house I shared with Juice. His bike wasn’t out front, so I could only assume that he wasn’t home yet.

Despite my promise to wait up, I found that I was too tired to sit around. I left the door unlocked and crawled into the big, empty bed. As excited as I’d been to stop sleeping alone, the bed was too comfortable to keep my eyes open for long.