It's What Friends Do

“Are you sure about this?”

She bit her plump candy coloured lip, courtesy of her mother’s make up collection. Her dark brown hair was pulled back into her signature pony tail, and her green eyes wide with hesitation and uncertainty.

“It’s what friends do, isn’t it?” he retorted back defensively, his cheeks flushing pink under her questioning gaze.

“Just this once, though. We don’t tell anybody, right?”

“Right, it’s just a practice. Friends practice on each other all the time.” He reaffirmed, nodding his head sharply. Gerard’s dark hair was unruly and in need of a cut, but Estelle never minded that. It was constantly falling into his hazel eyes, forcing him to brush it back every few minutes. His slightly upturned nose was uncomfortably close, and if she wanted she could have counted every single dark, long eyelash that framed his eyes. His cheeks were getting redder with every millisecond that passed, and she wondered if he could feel butterflies in his stomach too, like the ones you get when you speed down a hill too fast to keep control your bicycle. Estelle was just thankful that they were currently hidden from the view of the rest of world, the two thirteen year olds just barely fitting into their secret hiding in the miniscule space between the bushes and the back wall of Estelle’s backyard that separated her from her neighbours. In another year they’d be too big to sit comfortably in there anymore. Ever since they had met in kindergarten they had used the tiny space as their escape from the world, and it would always hold a special place in Estelle’s heart, even after they were too big to fit in anymore.

“Fine. Just, don’t slobber, alright?” She warned him, her green eyes narrowing in a silent threat that there would be dire consequences otherwise. Gerard’s lip curled in disgust and the words stung at his confidence slightly.

“Same goes for you.” He snarled.

“I’m a girl, I don’t slobber.”

He rolled in eyes but he wisely kept his mouth shut.

“Fine, whatever. Can we just do this now?” he asked impatiently.

“Okay.”

It happened so quickly, she didn’t even finish closing her eyes before his lips were on hers. She shut them quickly, afraid of what might happened if she could actually see what was happening. His slightly chapped lips didn’t do anything at first, they just remained glued to hers, but then again Estelle didn’t have a clue what they were supposed to do either. For all their friends’ taunts, they had never really told them the mechanics of how it worked. Neither of them had done this before and it was painfully obvious now when they were both waiting for the other to do something. How were you supposed to know when to use your tongue? Was she supposed to put hers in his mouth, or was it the other way around? Should she use her hands at all, or just leave them sitting on her lap? Estelle was about to pull away, impatient and ready to admit defeat when Gerard suddenly applied a bit more pressure to her lips. She felt his lips part and decided to follow his lead. His tongue invaded her mouth, brushing it forcefully against her own tongue. It felt strange, unnatural, and Estelle couldn’t help but wonder why the hell everyone in their class was going on about it. There was nothing nice about it. The earth didn’t move, her body didn’t tingle and there was nothing…exciting about having someone else’s tongue in her mouth, rubbing against hers in a rushed fashion. They gave up very quickly, much to Estelle’s delight. Gerard didn’t seem to think too highly of the kiss either. He wiped his lips on his t-shirt, his face scrunched up in disgust in an expression that mirrored Estelle’s.

“Eeeww” Estelle filled the silence, needing to vocalise her disgust at what just transpired.

“Gross. Why would anyone ever do that?” Gerard exclaimed, as though he’d been betrayed, which they had been. Horribly betrayed it seemed. All their friends had told them how amazing it was, that only babies were afraid of cooties and how the two of them were stupid for not trying it. They had been jeered at, peer pressured and coerced into giving it a try. Now, both of them felt nothing short of violated by the lies. It was supposed to be nice and magical but, instead it’d been wet and uncomfortable and not at all as pleasant as everyone made it out to be.

“Because people are stupid!”

There was a brief silence

“Are they? Maybe we’re just doing wrong? I mean, they do it in the movies and stuff” Gerard wondered, a doubtful look overtaking his features.

“You think so?” Estelle asked.

“Maybe. I mean…people do it all the time, don’t they? Maybe we just need practice, or something.”

“Maybe” Estelle replied, sounding far from convinced by Gerard’s hypothesis.

“Should we…I dunno…try it again?”

Estelle sighed.

“Okay. Maybe it won’t be so bad this time.”

They just stared at each other, hearts beating widely in their chests. Gerard suddenly felt more nervous than before. He was more aware of just how green Estelle’s eyes were, and of the little freckles that decorated her forehead. He could see she was shaking too, and while it would normally calm him to know he wasn’t the only nervous one, it just made it worse. Was it normal to be so nervous over something like a kiss? Was she nervous because they were kissing, or because she was kissing him? She couldn’t be though. She didn’t like him like that. He was just Gerard to her, there was no way she would think of him as anything else. Anyway, it’s not like he liked her anyway. She was a friend; the annoying, sometimes overly affectionate, always insulting but occasionally funny friend that he was used to having around. The kiss was just for practice. It didn’t mean anything, surely.

Estelle rolled her eyes at Gerard’s sudden shyness. She leaned forward and gently pressed her lips to his. His lips weren’t as dry as before, due to the slight residue of her lip gloss. She could feel he was shaking and her hand instinctively reached out and curled around one of clammy palms in a reassuring gesture. He squeezed her hand in silent acknowledgment of the gesture. His other hand snaked up her arm slowly with a light touch. She didn’t stop his wandering hand, which Gerard took as unspoken permission to continue. His fingers grazed her neck, and then his hand gently cupped her cheek, in tandem with Estelle parting her lips. He was patient this time, and refrained from ungracefully forcing his tongue down her throat like last time. Their tongues met and slid against each other leisurely. The butterflies in Estelle’s stomach went haywire when she realised that the kiss was pleasant this time. It wasn’t hot and uncomfortably wet like last time; her skin was tingling all over and she was certain her arms were covered in goosebumps. Her head a little dizzy from the intensity of all the sensations and the lack of oxygen. When the kiss ended, they were both out of breath and gazing at each other with dazed eyes. Their cheeks were flushed from exertion and confusion.

“I should go. My ma wants me home for dinner” Gerard muttered, his eyes fixed on the ground with faked interest, unable to shake the awkward tension that filled the space between them.

“Oh, okay.” Estelle’s disappointment was evident in her voice. Maybe the kiss hadn’t been as good for him as it was for her. Was he going to avoid her now, after it had been his idea? Her heart began to ache at the thought, over riding any anger she might have otherwise felt.

He didn’t say anything as he crawled out from under the bushes with a teary eyed Estelle behind him. He brushed the dirt off his jeans when he stood up, his eyes squinting as they readjusted to the bright sun they had been sheltered from seconds earlier. Estelle stood beside him but she refused to look at him. Gerard could feel a cold sweat begin to break out over his skin as he struggled internally. His heart was beating so hard he was shocked it hadn’t burst through his rib cage.

“Maybe we should practice again tomorrow?”

The words, though spoken barely above a whisper, seemed to ring out loudly in Estelle’s ears.

“You want to?”

“I don’t see why not. Practice makes perfect and all that.”

“I suppose. That’s what friend’s do, right?” she responded as coolly as she could, afraid of appearing too eager.

“Only the best” he smirked, with a hint of shyness radiating off him.

She walked him to the gate that separated the back garden from the front lawn, feeling giddy, overexcited and way too confused over what it meant. She decided not to over think it, knowing that it could wait for another day. Their eyes locked when she opened the gate for him, unsure if they should act like nothing had happened. Estelle raised herself on her toes, planting a light kiss on Gerard’s pale cheek, smiling in silent victory when a blush rose on them and heated up.

“See you tomorrow” she whispered, before running back inside her house.

Gerard stood still, stupefied and perplexed by the strange behaviour. He shook his head, deciding he would think about after he had dinner. Girls were confusing creatures after all, and a full stomach would be needed to try and figure this one out.