Save Me.

The first few days were fine, the band actually decided to extend the vacation until Tuesday;they were having too much fun and seeing as they were able to use their computers and phones, the guys weren't in a rush to get home. It was the third day there and we had two more days left, Ryan and I were pretty much apart the whole time; it was as if the group was keeping us apart and I had no complaints about it, I got to spend time with the girls that were there; one girl was called Veronica and she was dating Zacky for the past few months. They seemed pretty happy and he was all over her most of the time, the other girl was Britt who was dating Brian and they seemed to have a more casual relationship. We all sat at the edge of the dock with our fishing poles while the guys were up at the cabin talking about music and whatever else guys talked about.

“So how long have you and Matt been seeing each other?” Vee asked while taking a sip of her drink, I looked at her shocked and Britt giggled.

“I’m married to Ryan.” I replied, slightly pulling on the fishing rod.

She shook her head and pulled on her line as if what I had said didn’t mean a damn thing, Britt smiled as she looked at the both of us.

“That doesn’t mean a damn thing girl, did you know your husband sneaks around at night on the phone? He talks to some chick name Miley.” She looked at me a serious face, not a care in the world with what she just told me.

I felt my heart drop, every time he said he was going to the bathroom or just couldn’t sleep; he was running off to talk to her, the girl from the party. Why was she still dealing with him, was he cheating on me with her? I sighed at my own question, I still dealt with him. Was I that naïve to not think he was cheating on me? He most likely was cheating on me and she was the girl, but did I really want to admit it to myself, Chewing on my bottom lip I tugged at my line once more but nothing happened.

“D-do you ever hear what they talk about?” I was nervous to ask, I didn’t want to hear the truth but it wasn't a bad thing to ask. Maybe she wouldn't say anything.

She simply shrugged and sighed.

“It’s really not my place or my business, but since I was the one to bring it up. They argue sometimes, he calls her names; says he’s not ready for that. Then other times he tells her that he misses her and how he can’t wait to get home and see her. It’s back and forth, he flip flops.” She pulled her line and almost dance when she started to fight the fish and bring it to shore.

Silently I watched her, I didn’t know what emotion I was holding or even showing; I didn’t know if I should cry, scream or just go numb. If she knew then most likely the rest of the band knew, that means Matt knew as well, looking out at the water I saw the fish come to the surface; struggling for dear life.

“You okay Ava?” I looked to Britt and nodded, pretty much lying but I didn’t want to be the damsel in distress. It was bad enough the Matt was involved, bad enough that people thought we were seeing each other. Vee sat back down once she placed the fish into the bucket of water, we weren’t going to be the ones to slaughter the fish; that was a mans job, we just brought the food home.

“Listen Ava, Ryan is a dick. You two are married to each other; he took this commitment and is doing this. Divorce him; I know it sounds fucked up. But you deserve better, I see the way Matty looks at you; I see how tense he gets when Ryan even goes near you. That boy is in love with you and if you don’t see it, then you are blind.” She tossed her line back into the water after she placed the bait on it.

Britt simply nodded in response.

“From the way Brian explains it, Matt seems to be in protective mode. It’s weird because I have never seen him like this. He was one to not really give a shit about people and their problems, even when it came to the band and they are like brothers. I think you should leave Ryan and just go with Matt.” I shook my head as they continued to talk; I knew what I had to do. While Ryan was busy I would stoop down to the level that I never wanted to go to, I would end up going through his phone, but what would I gain from that?

About two hours later and ten fish later we were heading back to the cabin, laughing and just enjoying the rest of the day. I had hid the pain that I was feeling emotionally, I didn’t want anyone to know that I was breaking more and more every second.

When we reached the cabin we were greeted by drunk men, Ryan was wasted and watching TV on the couch, Matt was also wasted but sitting with the guys. He sent a smile my way which I ignored, placing the bucket on the table I watched as the guys; including Ryan who came over, start to get to work. I couldn’t even look at him, being pretty much disgusted with the fact and thought of him cheating on me, with a girl I had met and let into my home, it was revolting.

So I laughed and I played board games acting like nothing was wrong, the guys drank even more; Matt watched me like a hawk and Ryan didn’t even come near me. It seemed like to him I was the plague. Which I didn’t mind at all, I wanted him to get as drunk as possible. After everyone ate they made their way outside to start a bon fire, Ryan ignored me but Matt was right at my side.

“You coming?” His words were slurred slightly and I simply shook my head.

“Long day, I’m tired. Maybe later.” With that said he hesitated but nodded and stumbled out of the house and up the road towards the small field where they had their bonfires, this left me some time to look for his phone and go through it.

Quickly I made my way up to our room, shutting the door; I saw his phone on the table buzzing. Just my luck, it was Miley. I watched it buzz and then stop, a few seconds later it started to buzz once more and I took the chance to answer it.

“Hello?” I poke quickly but quietly just in case someone was in the house.

I heard her breathing on the other side of the receiver.

“Um, is…Ryan available?” She asked softly, I could tell she was nervous.

“Are you fucking my husband?” I asked; there was no reason to beat around the bush.

She went silent, so I checked if the call was still connect and saw that it was. I could hear her breathing on the other side of the phone; I didn’t want to stay on the phone with her not answering.

“Answer before he comes back.” My voice was stern now.

“Um…can you just tell him I called?”

My hand tightened around the phone and I chewed my bottom lip.

“No.” With that I pressed the end button and looked at the phone, this gave me a bigger reason to hate the man I had so dearly loved at one point in my life. I felt the phone buzz once and saw that she had sent a text message, so I opened it.

Your wife answered the phone, does she know? Did you tell her? I found out how long, three months. I’m sorry, I just can’t do that for you.-Miley

I stared at the phone in awe, what did she mean by three months, Was she pregnant? Did she owe him money? Before I could place the phone back down a hand wrapped itself in my hair and yanked my back, I let out a small yelp.

“What gives you the right to touch my shit, let alone answer my fucking phone.” Ryan whispers in my ear, his voice deep and low. My hand gripped his arm as I tried to pull away from him, I knew what was going to happen and I knew it was going to be bad. He twisted his wrist to where my hand twisted around his arm more, his other hand wrapped its way around my face and over my mouth to where I wouldn’t scream, his body pushed against my slamming my side into the dresser. I felt the yelp come out but was muffled by his hand.

Finally he let go of my hair and shoved me to where I was looking at him, one hand over my mouth and the other around my throat. He was wasted and was not even holding back, I could feel his grip tighten around my neck causing my air way to close more and more. I scratched at his face and swung my arms at him as darkness started to overcome my vision, was he going to kill me? Just as I was about to pass out he let my throat go and allowed me to breathe but just slightly, leaving me dazed.

“Take this as a lesson to never touch my things again.” He pulled his arm back and punched me right in the stomach, when he finally let me go I collapsed to the ground and curled into a ball. My arms wrapped around my waste, tears falling from my eyes. My throat had also started to become dry from the lack of air, I just wanted to die.

He didn’t come up again for the rest of the night and I didn’t move from my spot on the wooden floor. A few times the girls would come knocking at the door along with Matt and Brian, but I didn’t move hoping they would think that I was sleeping., which I didn’t and I couldnt because I was too scared. I didn’t know if he was going to come back and beat me more or if he was going to suffocate me with a pillow while I slept. But I did know, that the next morning I had to make sure not a single mark showed.

---

The next morning I slowly stood from my spot, cringing from the pain of the headache, sore throat,the pain in my stomach along with my side. I was able to get my things and make my way to the bathroom, locking the door behind me just in case.

It hurt to shower, there was a bruise forming on my stomach and there was already a bruise on my side. The one on my neck was barely noticeable but I still had to cover it up the best that I could hoping that no one would notice. When I was finally ready, someone was knocking on my bedroom door fast and loud. I slowly opened it and looked to see Matt standing there looking worried but relieved to see that I was alive.

“You okay?” He asked peering into the room.

I took a step to the side and nodded allowing him to step in and scan the room, there really wasn’t much for him to see, his eyes landed back on my own. I watched him lick his dry lips and nod not seeming satisfied.

“I’m fine, okay.” I snapped at him not meaning to, my voice hoarse causing him to give me a weird look.

He didn’t question it though, instead he turned and walked out of the room with me following behind him. Ryan was nowhere to be found and the girls were walking around in their bathing suits, folding my arms I followed after everyone silently. I wasn’t in any mood to jump, laugh or play with anyone, I felt like I was a snail that was hiding in its shell from predators.

“Ava?” I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard Matt’s voice.

“Yea?” I responded.

He just looked at me as if he knew what was wrong, as if he wanted to just hug me to make the pain go away. We stared at each other for a few seconds, I had brought baggy clothing with me just in case this happened, that way I could hide the things that I couldn’t cover with makeup.

“What did he do?” His voice was stern as he leaned forward.

I swallowed the lump in my throat slightly winching in pain and looked behind him to see Ryan walking down the path towards the lake, his face was calm as was his walk. Like nothing had happened and he had no worries in the world, my eyes connected with Matt’s once more and smiled the best that I could.

Then I nibbled my bottom lip as I felt horrible to lie to his face.

“Nothing…Just an argument.” I bit the inside of my cheek.

He didn’t believe me and I knew it, he looked like he wanted to kill Ryan but kept his composer. No one else noticed, so the rest of the day was left with them having fun and me hiding in my shell.