May I Have This Dance?

Jack was pining over his old life. Seven weeks ago, he was straight. Now, he's confused. What would it be like to kiss Alex again? Why do I feel so bad that I hurt him? How can I make it up to him? Why do I keep forgetting about the dare?

Jack was fucking stupid, really. He was actually writing down all the reasons exactly why he's so stupid and was making the stupid bullet points extra big and pushed down unnecessarily hard with the stupid pencil when his stupid phone vibrated.





As Jack's heart imploded into fifty million small pieces, he roughly tugged at his hair in frustration, bit his lip fiercely and tried not to fall into past habits as his fingers tugged even harder, forcefully pulling his hair. He tried to stop letting the minuscule pain get the best of him and drag him down with an appetite for more.



Jack hit send. He hated how easy it was becoming to lie as he typed and sent his next message.



Even though everything he said was a lie, a huge, fucking lie, he felt like it was becoming true. His inner struggle was being revealed. At this point, Jack was no longer sure if he was determined to get Alex because he told himself he was going to, or because he felt that Alex deserved kindness. Either way, he was going through with this dare.



Jack replied with nothing as he got up from his chair and decided to do something nice for Alex.

--

Alex's coffee was a little too sweet today, resulting him with heart palpitations, an upset stomach and jittery hands. As his head had a constant pulse throbbing in his temple, he got out of his car with his super sugary coffee in hand, locking the car and heading inside the dance studio.

Today, he was early for once, and surprise surprise, Jack was inside the studio with his back against the mirror and his ass on the wooden floor, legs crossed and eyes that projected a need of forgiveness.

"Oh," Alex said. "I didn't expect to see-"

"Here." Jack said, standing and tilting his head slightly. His hands were holding a single red rose, smelling sweet even from the small distance between the two.

"It's beautiful." Alex said, admiring it from Jack's hands.

"Just like you," Jack said, the cliché words something barely above a whisper and shyly handed the flower to the instructor, "and its yours."

Alex replied with an equally as soft, "Thank you," as Jack made no eye contact when he walked away.

Seconds before Jack was ready to open the door that led outside, Alex said, "Wait," disrupting the quiet in the room. He set the rose down delicately atop his bag that lied on the ground as his eyes stayed focused on the elders back, nearly feeling his internal struggle to leave or stay.

The stillness of the practice room evaporated as the younger walked over to Jack, who was staring intently at the door and not glancing back in favor of hiding his emotions that were so clearly on display.

Alex, struggling with what he should do, decided to let some truth and trust show through as he wrapped his arms around Jack's waist, feeling the elder's slender body. Jack's hand was on the doorknob, but after a moments thought, he let go. 

Jack let go, not only on the insignificant doorknob, but also with his fears. As arms were wrapped around him, he turned around and hugged Alex back. The elder's nose was resting in the space between Alex's shoulder and his neck, inhaling the scent that is Alex. 

"I'm scared." Alex's voice was quiet and wavering, until he leaned back and started wiping at his eyes. 

Jack watched the young man cry. "Of what?" 

"Myself." Alex said, sniffling and hiding his face. "My emotions. Relationships. Changes. Love." 

Jack understood, so he grabbed up Alex and hugged him again, because the younger deserved it. He shouldn't have to be afraid of things that could potentially be amazing. No one should.

As they rocked slowly, side to side with their eyes closed in the most peaceful environment, the door opened suddenly and without warning as Ariel walked in.

"Hey, I brought some- oh." Her smile fell away as soon as she saw Alex with teary eyes, and Jack who refused to look at anything but Alex.

"Sorry, I'll leave you two alone." She said, and tossed a smile.

"No need," said Alex as he regained his composure, "the girls should be here soon."

Alex looked at Jack with thankfulness. With his socked feet, he got on his tippy toes and gently kissed Jack on his sweet, soft lips. It was his way of saying thank you, and also conveying his little crush on Jack (though it was up to Jack to interpret it that way).

Alex started the dance lessons that day with a mind that was weighed down with stress and anxiety, and a heavy heart with lots of confusion, though the load was not as heavy because Jack was there.

–

People began to leave the studio when Jack finished getting his regular clothing on. His bag was shoved in the corner of the room against a wooden wall and a mirror along with his phone and his dance attire. When his thin t-shirt was pulled over his head, consequently messing up his hair, he saw Ariel walking towards him.

Jack's mind was elsewhere when she spoke, asking him if he wanted to go out for some drinks tonight. Politely declining, he narrowly and specifically avoided looking at Alex, lest he question himself further. It was not until he was three-quarters of the way home did he notice he left his phone at the studio. With a frustrated groan and cutting off several innocent drivers, he made his way back to the studio and walked in.

Jack did not expect to see anybody remaining in the main room, and he especially did not expect to see Alex with his back against the wall. His head was in his hands, legs tucked up and knees used as some kind of table for his elbows. There were no other people in the room, and Jack assumed it must have been the last lesson of the day in that room. He could hear fast beated music coming from several rooms down, likely from a hip hop class.

“Alex?” Jack hears himself saying. His voice comes out hoarser than he would have liked, probably because he was yelling at the drivers on the road not three minutes prior.

Alex looked up, somewhat startled. His cheekbones along with the bridge of his nose were dusted with pink. “Why are you here?”

Jack kind of laughed, and Alex did too. “That came out rude. I meant something like, 'What brings you here?'”

“I forgot my phone.” Jack says through a grin. He's acutely aware of how Alex watches his ass when he bends down. When Jack turns around, he almost drops his phone, because Alex is standing next to him suddenly.

“I didn't even notice.” Alex said, breathless and inches away.

Jack doesn't really know what Alex is talking about, but he thinks he might be blushing anyway. Alex puts his hands on Jack's hips, and Jack, feeling slightly awkward, wraps his arms around the shorter man's shoulders. “What are you doing?”

Alex mostly ignores him in favor of saying, “Just go with it,” and Jack smiles all too widely.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Alex said through a chuckle, legs tangling with the elder's as they step to the side. Their hands were connected now, fingers laced loosely,

“Mm,” Jack said with closed eyes as his nose bumped Alex's, “you can tell me anything.” He thinks that they might kiss, and Jack just might even be okay with that.

“Seven weeks ago, I don’t think I was truly happy.” he said. “The only time I was happy was when I was dancing.”

As Jack listened to Alex's soft and quiet voice, he preformed all the moves he remembered from the lessons prior. Hands intertwined as the other arm outstretched, bending to a plie, then circling into Alex's arms.

“Like I said, that was seven weeks ago.” Alex murmured into Jack's hair as they continued dancing by memory. “I recently noticed that I started getting afraid. I was afraid because I noticed that you started making me smile, a real smile. Jack, you make me happy. You make me feel young.”

“But you are young.” Jack laughed softly, “Your twenty-one, what the fuck.”

“I don't feel twenty-one. That is, until I met you.” Alex said, feeling content as he was indulged in his two happiest places; dancing and Jack.

The elder laughed, clutching just a little tighter to Alex's hand. “So fucking cliché, man. You know, you're kind of dorky.”

“I like to embrace it.” Alex said, and spontaneously twirled Jack, which was difficult because Jack had a noticeable height advantage. Neither of them minded though, and Alex enjoyed watching the elder's smile widen and his nose scrunch.

After a moments' silence and several more minutes of dancing in room lacking music, Jack let his chin res atop Alex's head. The quietness was enjoyable and it gave Jack time to think about the dare, if he was taking things too far, or if he was incorporating his own feelings into Alex's life.

“Let me take you on a date.” Jack said suddenly, surprising both himself and Alex.

Alex looked surprised as his eyebrows scrunched together. “What?”

Let's go out.” Jack smiled. “Tonight.”

“Tonight?” Alex looked confused.

“What, you can't hear me?” Jack smiled. “Yes, we're going to be spontaneous.” Jack laughed, meeting the instructors soft though questioning gaze. “It'll be fun.”

“Alright, then. I trust you. Show me what it means to be alive.” Alex whispered, feeling confident as he closed his eyes, pressing an open mouthed kiss to the side of Jack's neck, perfectly imagining the way Jack's beautiful eyes hide behind his eyelids as he tilts his long neck back.

Alex could taste the sweetness of Jack's skin mixed with a salty flavor that met his tongue as he pulled away with a strong desire for more. Jack started breathing heavy as his skin grew hot. “Then what are we waiting for?”