The Second Step: Sophomore Year

Today we played a huge home quad against our rivals. Going into the game I was supremely confident and focused on taking(and making) plenty of shots. In previous games I have had 1 or 0 shot attempts. So as the game started as soon as I got in my shot went in and out, but I was still hyped and prepared to take plenty more. Then I get pulled from the game. Then I get barely any playing time with no shot attempts. I played hard defense as always but still I am not given ANY offensive opportunities from players on my team. We ended up losing the game, even though this is the closest the score has been for a few years. As we went through our post game talk and such I just was crushed by my own emotions. I tried really hard not to cry, but three things really hurt me. 1: I'm tired of losing games I know we can win. 2: I'm tired of not contributing to our offense. and 3: Being the hardest worker on the team and not being trusted with getting in the game to take shots is getting to me. Day in and day out I work my ass off and for what? What is the point of perfecting my shot if I never get the chance to use it? No one else ever wants to do the dirty work, box out, and play hard nose defense, but still I get no recognition. I know I'm ranting but I'm just getting tired of it. It's time for me to make my own opportunities because my coach obviously isn't going to make any for me.

However, despite this stress and negativity, there has been some positives as of late. I recently started meditation and even though I have only done it a few times, it has really helped me relax and not always carry mental tension. Not only this, but I have a feeling that a huge opportunity will arise for me this summer. My math teacher was given a letter from Harvard(or was it MIT?) about a 3 day STEM program this summer. She, among only a few hundred teachers nationwide, can nominate 10 students to participate in the program in Boston. At this program there will be renown physicists, engineers, professors, nobel prize winners, and other great minds. This trip was made for me so hopefully I will be able to go.

So yea I have a lot to think about.