The Second Step: Sophomore Year

I'm 16 now. Yup its my birthday and no one really cares. Not even I care. I mean my family and two friends remembered, but other than that no one cared. It shouldn't necessarily bother me because, before today, I had told myself that today was just another day to improve myself - nothing too special. But as the day dragged on, I felt stressed and depressed and sleep deprived and just pretty much overwhelmed. On top of this, I can't hear out of my left ear due probably to a sinus infection, have had difficulty swallowing with symptoms pertaining to strepthroat, and have a guttural cough leftover from the flu. It just feels like a lot to bear. But despite this, I just keep saying "I'm fine... I'm fine ... I'm fine" (I've probably said this to family and friends 20 times a day for the past two months). And it doesn't seem like things are going to lighten up anytime soon. I've just agreed upon taking IB diploma with additional classes filled in my schedule on top of diploma. I'm not sure this is the right choice, but I want to know I've done all I can to support my future. With this ambition, on top of summer courses and year round sports, I've pretty much cemented a lack of sleep for the next two years. I keep assuring myself by saying that the harder I push now, the farther I'll be in the future, but this is not how I want my life to look like in the future. The constant struggle to get up each day starts to get to you. Additionally I was wrapped up in a bit of drama recently. I was friends with this girl who had a boyfriend and he started to get jealous of me. I was always cool with him, but this girl would talk about me nonstop to him so eventually they started fighting and spiraled into a break-up. Recently he told me that I "ruined the relationship." Like I'm flirting with her now, but thats just because she is single now. It was never my intention to break them up, so he can't put that on me. Pretty much I just have a lot of shit going on right now, but as always "I'm fine."