Obstacles

PAST

"Just stop, Josie," Landon hissed in my direction. I scrunched my face and raised an eyebrow in his direction. Landon was my male best friend that I'd known for less than a year.

"Stop what, Landon?" I slightly snapped and rolled my eyes.

"Why don't you just go home? You can come back when you're not being a bitch," as soon as the words left Landon's lips, I had my purse on my shoulder.

I looked to Miranda for something, what exactly it was, I didn't know. But she could barely look me in the eye.

I'd known Miranda for going on three years at this point in time. I met her at the local video store, and we clicked six months later. We've been up each others' asses since we got close enough to. Miranda sometimes even knew me better than I knew myself. We had met Landon through a mutual friend of ours, and we were not excited to meet him in the least bit.. I had a cyst, spider bites, and a migraine while Miranda had a headache the entire day.

I wasn't around when Landon first got to the house, I popped in and gave Miranda some headache meds and asked her what everyone was about.. She didn't find Landon cute in the least bit, and she was talking to a black dude at the time.

The guy that introduced us to Landon, asked if I was DTF a new dude from Minnesota.. I've always had a thing for dudes from the north, that were covered in tattoos and listened to the same music and had the same views that I did about life and what not.

So, the first time we chilled with Landon, nothing happened because I wasn't capable of doing anything.. but the next time he stayed with us, it was so on... Me and Landon fucked around for like two months, I started feeling for him, and he stopped fucking around. He then proceeded to ask out Miranda, who said yes. That entire situation fell through.

Two months later, Landon and I had started fucking around again.. and then Miranda started to join us in our drug induced escapades. Five months into the three of us doing our thing, and being happy, and all equal, and all feeling loved, Landon and I started to fight more frequently.. Ended up with Landon saying he didn't feel for me how he did Miranda, but still loved me. I knew that from a month prior, so it didn't hurt too extremely bad..

But looking back on the three of us doing that, hurts. Because simple, 'I love you's' were tossed into the fucking, and I was treated the same as Miranda.

Hell, even now it gets me teary eyed.

And I think its because, he was my ideal dude.. and I finally had it in my grasp. And he went for my best friend. Life, right?

But. Also.

Landon and I had stayed awake many nights before Miranda did with us.. Landon and I had always had a deeper connection mentally. And, we also had intense conversations. I believe that's another factor that disturbed me.

Sitting with the two of them in the same room, and to have them texting one another, kinda hurts. Makes a person feel like a third wheel, when a month ago everything was fine between everyone. Little things that people do, and don't realize, actually really fucking hurt. Especially when you can't talk to your best friend about anything like you could a year prior. Little looks they gave each other, along with smiles.. and seeing them love one another put me off at times. Not because I was madly in love with Landon, or irritated with the situation.. Just because the situation in itself sucked, because the dude always went for my best friend, and because I was jealous of the relationship in itself.

I wanted nothing more than to have my ideal dude, older than me, tatted, like the same shit, northern, attractive, and mine... and ya know, it was for about four months. Anyways. I just wanted that. I wanted someone to cuddle with every night, someone to kiss and hug. Someone to call mine and be there for me for literally everything in my life.

And the only thing I could do for about six months... was take life with a smile and deal with it.

PRESENT

I'm mommy of my group of friends, and nothing changed that. I took care of Miranda and Landon, even if we were upset with one another. IT hurt to take care and make sure they were okay, when I was hurting on the inside mentally and physically.

I've known Miranda for eight years, and Landon for five. Landon was seven years older than I was, and eight to Miranda. Miranda and Landon were still going strong in their relationship, and it still was a touchy thing for me. Simply because.

Anyways.

I wasn't a raging cunt about it. Ever. I was, but not anymore.

I was now twenty-two, Miranda twenty-one, and Landon was twenty-nine. I was still single. My life. But I had a lot going for me. I had a nice house with Miranda and Landon, a regular fuck buddy, a bar, and a salon. And I was still doing drugs.

~x~

"Josie!" Miranda's frantic voice trailed through the house and met my ears in the kitchen where I was stood preparing our dinner.

I rolled my eyes and put down the spoon I was using to stir noodles. I then proceeded to pick up my glass of orange juice to sip from. "Yo?"

"Guess who the fuck I saw at the gas station just now," Miranda appeared in the doorway and came to stand by me.

"Who?" I raised an eyebrow and lit a cigarette.

"Fuckin' Savanna, yo!" I exhaled my smoke and snarled with an eye roll.

"Fuck that cunt," I shrugged.

Miranda looked at me and snickered. "Where's Landon?" she put her purse on the kitchen table.

"He's in the shower," I let the cigarette hang from my lips and left the stove to cook. "When he gets outta the shower, we're gonna roll one."

"A bowl or a blunt," Miranda asked and made her face.

"A bowl, babyirl," I smirked and kissed her cheek. "Anyways, how was your day?"

Miranda sat on the couch in the living room and kicked her shoes off. "My mom was just bitching all day, because Andrea is not capable of doing shit herself."

I picked up the small bag on the coffee table, and began to get our evening activity set up. Moments later, we heard the bathroom door open, and out came Landon.

"Hello, Ladies. Let's smoke and eat, and relax!" Landon's voice carried through the entire house.