Stickers and Scars

Hours and days and months passed by. To say being around Jack got easier as time went on was a lie Alex continued to tell himself. Even after they had actually gotten to know each other and had become more comfortable in conversation, Alex's heart still crawled it's way up his throat every time Jack made eye contact with him. The most menial and monotonous interactions sent his head spinning and rendered him useless, Alex had only met Jack two months ago but he didn't think he could take much more. His life was being ruined by that two-toned hairstyle and those almost comical eyebrows.

He spent all of his spare moments imagining, in vivid detail, what they would be like together. Jack would grab his hand in the hallway and they would walk together, laughing and joking, until one of them had to leave the other. They would do couple shit like go out on dates and meet each others families. They would have their first kiss and it would be romantic, dammit, sunsets and crescendos and roses and all that other bullshit. They would spend their time in the other's embrace, watching movies and talking about anything, everything. They would be the best damn couple that walked this godforsaken Earth. Sure, it would weird out a couple of people, but Alex came from a pretty accepting family and group of friends and he was sure that with time his parents and his peers would come to love Jack almost as much as he did.
He never really thought of himself as gay before, he never really thought of himself as anything at all, it just so happened that every other being he had been attracted to before had been female, he didn't really view being attracted to another guy as anything wildly different. The only thing that really set Jack aside from the others was how comfortable he was, not in the sense that he was physically comfortable, (although Alex would be very willing to find out just how physically comfortable he was) it was rather in the sense of how comfortable Jack's company was. Underneath all the cold sweats and the clammy hands and the racing hearts, he found great serenity in the presence of Jack Barakat and for some reason something about Jack just felt right.

It usually took a long time for Alex to get close to somebody new, which was why he didn't have a hell of a lot of friends, even Rian perceived him as a bit of a weird loner when they first started hanging out, but Jack was the easiest thing Alex had ever done. When they talked to each other, the words just poured out of Alex, the nervous stutter and the awkward pauses that had come to plague him in day-to-day conversation simply melted away when he heard Jack's ridiculous too loud laugh after he cracked a joke. He craved Jack, the way he could talk about something he really loved for days on end without running out of things to say, the way he ate like a dog, shoving everything into his mouth as if it were going to be taken from him in the next second, the way he acted, he was truly quite the gentleman underneath the obnoxious t-shirts and the too-cool-to-care personality. Jack Barakat was the best drug he'd tried and the worst one he had gotten hooked on.

Alex glanced at his cellphone on the charger next to his bed. No new messages from Jack. He let out a quiet defeated sigh, he really didn't understand why he had let himself get so wrapped up in one person, the chances that Jack liked him anymore than a friend of a friend was slim to none. The only things that could ease Alex's slowly breaking heart right now were Green Day and chocolate milk, and of course a confession of Jack's undying love for him, but that probably wasn't going to happen, so he settled for the other two.

It was on his way back up the stairs, glass of chocolate milk in one hand and CD in the other, when he heard that little buzzing noise that had trained his heart to leap out of his chest. “Jack Jack Jack JackJackJackJack!” he excitedly whispered to himself as he began to take the stairs two at a time, flinging open the door to his bedroom and looking at the screen of his cellphone light up with the name of none other than.....Rian Dawson. Alex groaned and read Rian's unusually brief message, Rian had a way of saying something that could be said in two words, in twenty words, a habit that usually shone through in his text messages with the exception of this one.

“You should swing by. I'm having a small party. Bring food.” Alex was disappointed that it wasn't Jack sending him the message, but he could definitely go for a little “party” with Rian, seeing as Rian's parties were usually just the two of them and a couple of boxes of pizza. Alex had an epiphany, he realized how long it had been since the two of them had actually gotten together and that he had been giving Rian a kind of unintentional cold shoulder, their friendship taking a backseat to his new found obsession with Jack. He felt intensely guilty and decided that tonight would be the night Alex would make up his previous absences to Rian, hell, maybe he'd even tell Rian that he liked Jack tonight in a gesture of ultimate bro trust. Keeping it to himself was getting a little too painful, he needed to confide in somebody, anybody, and he felt as if Rian would be the most understanding out of all the people he could tell. Jack was Rian's friend anyways, he deserved to know this sort of stuff.

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So there he was. Stood outside of Rian's house in his skinny jeans and blink-182 t-shirt, holding a pizza as a gesture of goodwill toward Rian, watching in horror at the absolute insanity that was his best friend's house. The “small party” he was having might have been the understatement of the year. There were cars lined up and down the streets outside the house and he could hear music blaring and glass shattering from where he was standing on the front steps, there was a girl crying on the sidewalk about some boy that didn't want to dance with her and broken beer bottles lined the pavement. How in the fuck did Rian Dawson manage to throw a rager like this. It's not that Rian was unpopular, he was definitely well liked and had much more of a social life than Alex did, but Rian's house was one of the biggest in the neighborhood and it was crammed full of people, he doubted Rian had even met half of the kids at his “little gathering.”

Alex wasn't quite sure what to do, he didn't realize that high school house parties like this existed outside of television and movies and had no idea what the social protocol was. After looking around to find nobody except the girl sat on the pavement who was near hysterics now, Alex walked up the porch steps to the front door, exuding false confidence. As his fingers brushed the doorknob, a giant force came hurtling through it, obliterating the door and sending Alex flying backwards onto his butt. Once he shook the dizziness and shock from his head he looked to his left and saw Rian's microwave, the object which had apparently been thrown at light speed through the glass part of Rian's front door, he looked to the right to see one of his classmates running around covered in sweat, swinging a shirt over his head like a smelly disgusting mace and screaming “FUCK YEAH! SENIORS RULE BITCH!” Alex was seriously debating on whether or not to tell him that they were both Juniors, but he decided to attempt to slip into the party again, hopefully undetected on account of the distraction the half-naked kid was causing, he looked around briefly for the pizza he had been carrying but it had vanished into thin air, an offering to the masses of half-drunk hormonal monsters inside Rain's house.

Once he had breached the entrance of the party, he truly saw how out of hand it had gotten. Shoe prints decorated the walls and ceiling, the blades from one of the huge hanging fans that circulated air around the normally spacious front room was gone, and the floor was littered with unopened tampons for reasons that escaped Alex. He politely shoved his way into the kitchen to see if he could find Rian or anybody else he knew, but upon arrival was just greeted with more strange faces. He was starting to get really nervous, Alex didn't have social anxiety but huge crowds of weird kids made him uncomfortable, Alex was sure it would make anyone uncomfortable.

On impulse he grabbed a beer as he made his way back out of the kitchen and up the stairs to the second floor of the house. He threw open the door of one of the bigger closets in the most quiet section of the house, shooed away the couple making out and sat down in the darkness. He proceeded to chug his drink while he came up with a game plan for the night. Alex would finish his beer; go back out into the party to find Rian; pull Rian aside and tell him he was sorry for being a dick, and tell him about Jack; leave the party as fast as he could; drive home buzzed; don't get pulled over and don't hit anything; go to bed and sleep for eight years because god damn this much social interaction was wearing him out.

Fifteen minutes later Alex emerged from the closet, crumpled up can in hand and new-found liquid confidence. He made his way back down the stairs as he noted that the party hadn't died down at all, if anything it had picked up steam. Shoving through the crowd he made his way to the living room in the back of the house, to Alex's dismay this was the room most full of drunk horny teenagers, seeing as some kid had taken it upon himself to bring his laptop and speakers and DJ for the party. It kind of looked like a concert, except there wasn't a band it was just some acne-ridden 16 year old and his computer. Alex craned his neck in hopes of picking out Rian from the crowd, but everyone just kind of blurred together, becoming indistinguishable to his tired, somewhat buzzed eyes. Alex threw down the empty beer can he had been holding and pushed his way onto the dance floor/mosh pit/orgy that was Rian's living room. Rian's parents were going to skin him alive when they came home and saw the damage this place had sustained, it really was too bad, the Dawson's were always so nice to him.

He pushed past the sweaty shirtless guys and the girls with runny makeup into what he believed was the middle of the room. He kept calling out Rian's name but received no response except for the occasional “Your boyfriend isn't here, get lost faggot.” and the “Oh my god shut up!” He was about to give up and push his way out of there, get to his car and attempt to drive himself home when seemingly out of nowhere, two hands grabbed him forcefully by the hips and jerked him backwards into another body just as the next song was starting up. What happened next, Alex liked to blame on the fact that he had pounded a beer in the closet upstairs, but he knew that he wasn't much of a lightweight and he was only a little buzzed overall. Maybe it was the music blaring from the speakers up front, the bass line that he could feel pounding in his chest. Maybe it was because he missed Rian and was desperate to feel like he actually belonged at thIS party, to look like he was actually comfortable pressed up against all those other teenagers. Maybe he was just horny, the true reason for his out-of-character actions never really revealed itself to Alex, all he knew was that when those hands grabbed him and pressed his body against somebody else's, he started dancing. Not the middle school kind of dancing that you do in the gym, where you leave room for Holy Spirit because your prude of an English teacher told you to. The kind of dancing you do when you're about one shot of vodka away from passing out in the bathroom and carrying your heels home; the kind of dancing that gets stupid girls pregnant and gets desperate guys off; the kind of dancing that makes parent's cringe and ask what went wrong with Generation Y. Alex was officially whoring it up and he loved it.

The way this stranger's fingers dug into his hipbones, held him closer like he needed him as much as he needed air and water made Alex's head spin. As the song reached it's climax, he heard the breath near his right ear become labored and uneven and felt a hot mouth against his neck, he had never gotten a hickey before but now completely understood the appeal of it, the kisses, the gentle bites in all the right places. This was ecstasy, he felt himself turning to a sweaty, sex-crazed, half-drunk puddle; yet another thing that Rian's poor parents would have to clean off the floor. Alex couldn't take not knowing who this was, he was about ready to kneel down on the floor and ask this guy to marry him right then and there, whatever this guy was doing with his tongue was far better than anything Jack Barakat had. Jack Barakat was a stale cigarette and a warm beer compared to this, Jack Barakat was the handshake and the cold goodbye after the first date, Jack Barakat was the fifty-nine percent on a test you had studied for, who the fuck was Jack Barakat? Nobody.

Alex felt the mystery man's fingers break their hold on him for a fraction of a second and he turned around as fast as he could to look into the eyes of this shirtless teenage sex god. Pure unadulterated terror washed over him as he looked into those eyes of a distinct brown color, and saw that patch of yellow-blonde hair that he had grown so accustomed to. Who the fuck was Jack Barakat? This was fucking Jack Barakat. He was frozen in place, with the exception of his jaw, which he felt drop to the floor. A somewhat strangled, stutter like noise escaped his wide-open mouth as he felt the weight of the shame of what he had just done with this boy begin to pile on his shoulders. He had never wanted to disappear more in his life.

Jack looked just as surprised as Alex did, however with significantly less horror and more “Oh hey, didn't think I'd see you here.” in his eyes.
“Alex.....?” Jack's lips formed, his voice was drowned out by the music. Alex was getting ready to beg for Jack's forgiveness, to do whatever he had to do to make Jack forget this night ever happened when out of the corners of his eyes he saw the two flashing colors that had the power to turn every teenager into an Olympic sprinter.
“SHIT IT'S THE COPS!”

Alex was stuck in one spot, paralyzed with fear and too shell-shocked to know which way to run, when Jack grabbed him by the wrist and led him out of living room through the glass screen door that led to the backyard. He stumbled forward at first, moving only because of the forceful pull from Jack, but once they made it to the back yard Alex was running alongside him, his wrist still being held captive by Jack's hand. They reached the end of Rian's yard at the same time and jumped over his chain-link fence as if they were stunt doubles and had practiced this scene hundreds of times before. Alex was expecting to hear someone yell "Cut!" but instead he heard yells from police officers emanate from inside the house, a wave of adrenaline hit the both of them and they continued to run all the way down the street until they both stopped near Alex's car, shaken and out of breath.

“What the fuck dude.” Jack panted “Is all of this really happening? Everything just keeps getting weirder and weirder.” Alex finally got a really good look at Jack, he was shirtless and the heat radiating from his body after sprinting was turning into steam in the cold night air as well as his breath that came out in short, quick spurts. His signature spiked hair had given up and laid flat against his head from all of the sweat. Sweat. Alex's mind flashed-back to the dance floor, spreading a blush across his face and creating a knot of guilt in the pit of his stomach. Of all the guys he could've fucking dry-humped at that party, why did it have to be him. Alex stole another glance of Jack's half naked body, Jack wasn't built like Rian or Zack, he was incredibly lean for someone his age and his height but he knew Jack was strong (he had given Alex a fucking demonstration back inside of Rian's house) though it looked as if the wind could knock him over at any moment if it blew too hard.

“I dunno, but I think that's a sign that the party's over. I'm going the fuck home.” Alex grabbed his keys from his back pocket and opened up his car, quickly getting in the driver's seat and slamming the door. After he had started the engine and turned on the radio he saw that Jack was still stood in the same place. Awkward, shirtless, sweaty and in the middle of the street. Like a stupid, sexy deer caught in the headlights. Alex tried to roll down his windows but of course they weren't cooperating today so he propped open the door and called out to Jack.
“Dude where are you going? Did you drive here? Where's your ride? Get out of the fucking street.” Jack snapped his head to look at Alex and half ran half jogged over to the car.
“I think the people that drove me here fucked off without me when the cops showed up.” Jack's words were slurred. His whole body leaned over to one side as if he were going to fall over and he let out a small laugh. The adrenaline from running had worn off and it was pretty obvious just how wasted Jack was. Alex's eyebrows knit with frustration. How fucking irresponsible could this guy be?
“Just shut up and get in the car, you dumbass.” Jack gave a wide grin, walked over to the passenger side and got in, almost falling into the seat next to Alex.
“I fucking love this song.” Jack gasped as he reached for the volume knob on Alex's stereo. Only to be swatted away by his friend's hand.
“Where do you live?”
“Uh....I actually live pretty far away from here, like on the other side of town...” Jack admitted sheepishly. Alex let out a sigh, he didn't have the guts to try and drive down the freeway when he was buzzed, Jack was just gonna have to stay with him for the night. He was confused as to why he was so irritated with Jack at the moment, a situation like this would've had him thanking all the gods he could think of normally, but for some reason the idea of Jack at his house tonight grated on his nerves.

“Alright Jack looks like you're sleeping on my fucking couch tonight.” Alex huffed as he threw his car into drive and sped off toward home, and from the corner of his eye he saw Jack quietly fold his hands into his lap and furrow his eyebrows into what looked like a remorseful expression. Alex felt a pang in his heart as he watched his friend sink into himself, he had never seen Jack look that way before, he was always cracking jokes and being obnoxious, but now he just seemed upset and defeated.
“Hey Jack...there's a hoodie in the backseat...you can wear it if you're cold.” He watched him reach back and get the jacket he was wearing earlier that day and shrug it on, zipping it up halfway and smirking.
“How'd you know green was my favorite color?” Jack muttered as he turned sideways in his seat to look out the window at the scenery going by.
“Fine,” Alex thought “I tried to fix things but if he's gonna be a reclusive bitch then who am I to say no, I need to concentrate on driving anyways.”

Fifteen minutes passed and Alex was nearly home when out of nowhere Jack yelled “Stop! I have to get out!” Alex slammed on the breaks and he saw Jack bolt across the street to the park near his house. He thought Jack needed to puke from how drunk he was and the way he bolted towards the park, but once Alex parked against the curb and saw Jack swinging on the swings he became absolutely livid. He stormed out of his car toward Jack, using all of his self control not to cuss him out right then and there and wake up the whole neighborhood in the process. He stumbled and fell once in the sand on his way there but reached the other boy in a matter of seconds.
“Who the fuck do you think you are Jack Barakat?” Alex hissed through clenched teeth. “I have the decency to give your drunk ass a ride home, let you stay in my house and eat my food and shit in my toilet and this is the fucking respect I get?” Alex was steadily raising his voice and a worried look crept over Jack's face while the swing took him close to Alex, and then far away from him.
“You make me fucking screech to a halt in the middle of the god damn motherfucking road so you can get out of the car to go fucking swing on the swings, how fucking dare you!” Alex was nearly screaming now, his hands balled into fists and his face contorted with anger as he stood in front of Jack and watched him swing back and forth back and forth back and forth. Suddenly two hands wrapped around his waist and made him stumble forward a few steps. There he was, Jack's face buried into his chest, hugging him around the waist, all the while still sitting in the swing.

“Please don't be mad at me Alex, none of this was supposed to make you mad. I'm really sorry I molested you and shit at Rian's, I swear to God I didn't even know it was you and I really feel bad, I really do. I know you're probably really embarrassed by that and you don't even have to be dude, I'm really sorry if I offended you or whatever please just don't be mad at me.” Jack's voice quivered as he blurted out what Alex recognized as some sort of drunk apology. “And I'm super sorry that I took advantage of your super sweet super kind nature I just wanted to spend a little more time with you and I promise I'll make it up to you, please don't be mad at me Alex Gaskarth.”
“Jack....”
“C'mon and swing Lex, it'll make you feel better I swear.” Jack let go of Alex's waist and ushered him to the swing next to Jack's. Alex was shocked to say the least. Emotional and Jack were two words he would've never put in the same sentence before, but he obeyed and sat down next to him, eyes fixated to the ground, halfheartedly bending and then straightening out his legs in an attempt to swing, all he really wanted to do was go home but he would do anything he had to do to get Jack to shut the fuck up and smile.

Alex hadn't been sat next to Jack for thirty seconds when he felt the other boy's fingers grab the chain of his swing to pull him closer. Jack had a sort of devious look in his half-lidded eyes and he let his hand snake around to cup Alex's jaw.
“Jack what are y-”
And then he was kissing him. Alex let himself relax into Jack, let the wildfire that was Jack's lips spread through his body, let himself forget who and where he was. Any thought of him ever being mad at Jack was replaced with a new found passion for all things relating to Jack's mouth. Alex threw his arms around Jack's neck, weaving his fingers in his hair and desperately trying to pull him closer, to give him more and to take more of him. Alex's thoughts were scrambling as Jack began to nip at his lower lip, asking if he was allowed to take this a step further. He let him of course, Alex had had too many traditional first kiss lip-locks and every fiber of his being was screaming “More!” so he opened his mouth and let Jack have what he wanted.

The rest of the kiss only lasted for another minute, or what felt like a mere minute to Alex, he could've kissed Jack until the sun came up, he could've kissed Jack until the sun exploded and the world ceased to exist, and then a little bit longer. But when Alex's tongue had crossed the threshold of Jack's lips, he pulled away suddenly, a stupidly big grin gracing his flushed face, and passed out, falling out of his swing in the process. Alex jumped up and ran over to where Jack laid asleep in the dirt and tried everything to get him to wake up. But alas, Jack was stuck in a drunken stupor and a hot and bothered Alex was left to take care of the mess. He dragged Jack back to his car, swearing under his breath the whole way. Once they finally got to his car, he opened the back door and gracefully shoved Jack into the back seat, letting his long limbs sprawl out wherever they pleased as Alex ran around to the driver's side and hopped in, starting up the car and driving the last couple of blocks home, the taste of cheap beer and pizza still on his lips.