Safe and Sound

Chapter Eighteen - Long Awaited Answers

When I woke up, I expected to still be buried into Grayson's chest. However, I wasn't. I was on my own in the sleeping bag, which made me think for a second that all of the day before had been a dream. I unbelted myself and sat up, only to be restrained by my legs. That confirmed that it hadn't been a dream. I ran my fingers through my plait, feeling the mockingjay flight feather that Grayson had weaved into it. So where is he? I thought as I unbelted my legs and put my belt back on. I looked about and saw that Grayson's backpack was nowhere to be seen. I packed away the sleeping bag, then put my backpack on, along with my quiver. I then picked up my bow before climbing back down the tree. couldn't see Grayson anywhere.

"Grayson?" I called out. I sincerely hoped he hadn't run away. We're allies, of course he wouldn't do that. He's not like that. I walked a few paces forwards, nearing the thicker trees. "Grayson?" I called out, a bit louder than before, into the forest.

"Over here!" I hear a cheery reply from somewhere behind me. I spun around to see Grayson emerging from the trees, holding his backpack in one hand. I sighed with relief. "You were still sleeping so I went out to find a water source. I took your flask so I could get you some too, I hope you don't mind that. I thought you would be feeling thirsty if I was. I found more than just water. We're in luck." He unzipped his backpack and pulled out something that was wrapped in a sheet of plastic. He must have taken that from my backpack. He unwrapped it and held it out to me. I walked over to see that he was holding a few Katniss flowers.

"Grayson, you amazing human being, you." I said, smiling. I looked up at him, amazement clear on my face. He shrugged. And put the stash back in his backpack. He reached in and pulled out my drinking flask. He gave it to me. It felt heavier than usual. He had found a water source.

"It's day seven, right? That means we've been in here for about a week now. There's ten tributes left. I think that's gone quite fast. Fourteen in six days." Grayson said as we started walking back towards where he had found the pool of water. I nodded in agreement, blowing the air out of my cheeks. "Oh, have you got my belt? I didn't want to take it off of you because you were still sleeping."

"Yeah, sure." I took it out from my pack and gave it to him. He put it back on again and we continued walking. As we walked, I looked at Grayson, who was looking up to the sky. "So, what horrors have you had to face since day one?" I tried to say it causally, but secretly I was really interested and wanted to know what Grayson had to fight through. Grayson looked back down from the sky and furrowed his eyebrows, as if in thought. That couldn't have been a good sign. He had to think about what had happened to him.

"Um, well, on day two or three I got stung by a Tracker Jacker on my shoulder and the base of my neck. I think that's why it bled so much when your arrow scraped it. All that's left are just faint marks where I was almost stung to death, nothing major I don't think. I was obviously stuck under the power of the venom since then, meaning it was quite fuzzy and extremely frightening. I then found some leaves that soothed the stings. But do you know what I found when I was stung?" Grayson answered. I tilted my head to the side as Grayson stopped walking and pulled his backpack off. He unzipped it and pulled something long and silver out. I gasped.

It was my first arrow and mockingjay feather.

"Where did you find this?" I asked as I took it from him. He head somehow managed to connect the feather to the flights of the arrow.

"I can't remember exactly, but I do know that I didn't know where I was, or if I was coming or going. Then I saw these and I guess I immediately through of you. I made the connection between the feather and the arrow. And even though I was crazy because of the venom, I knew I wanted to find you. Because you can always trust a mockingjay. Even the flammable ones." Grayson said, taking back the arrow and putting it back into his backpack. I smiled at him. "Where was I? Oh yes, so I had found your arrow and you feather. A couple of days after that, I was walking along talking to myself, probably. I still had traces of venom, so almost everything seemed to scare me more than it should, but I was more or less back to my original self. The leaves that I had found had helped great deal. So yeah, I was walking when I heard a massive growl. I turned around to see this massive lion muttation. It looked like it had just eaten something, because its jaw was still covered in blood-"

"That would be Ryker." I interrupted. Grayson blinked. "The District Two boy that I shot down...I think the mutt finished him off...you know what, don't worry about it. Sorry. Carry on. So its jaw was covered in blood. Now what?" Grayson nodded slowly before continuing.

"Yeah, so its jaw was covered in blood. I remember being more petrified than I had been, even with the venom. It was about to turn to me, but I dived into a bush. I looked out to see the mutt looking quite confused. If I had been a millisecond slower, it would have seen me and decided to have me to wash down this Ryker you're talking about. It sniffed for a while, before it just walked away. I waited for a few minutes, scared it was going to come back. But when it didn't, I jumped out of the bush and got out of there. That's about all that happened to me, except for finding you." Grayson said. We continued walking. "What about you?"

"Me? Oh, okay. Well, I was hunted down by the Careers because of my score. That's when I shot down the District Four girl. She died because of me. When the Careers had stopped chasing me, Ryker continued, determined to kill me when he had the chance. I then shot him in his leg so I could get away. The mutt obviously found him. I walked for a bit. I ran a bit. And I walked some more. I think this must have been after your close encounter with the mutt, because I was walking and it jumped out at me. If it wasn't for Caritta, the girl from Eleven, I would have died. She killed the mutt before it had the chance to bite me. I think that's about it, unless I'm very much mistaken." I replied.

"Do you think that there are more of these mutts? I sincerely hope not." Grayson said. I shrugged. "Do you think it's time to take a break? Just a short one, or a longer one if you'd like." Grayson then suggested. I sighed and then climbed up a nearby tree. I looked over from the branch I was kneeling on, to see Grayson scowling up at me. I laughed.

"Sorry about that, I forgot!" I called down to him, before scrambling back down the tree and helping him up. We sat opposite each other on a thick branch. Grayson pulled out the Katniss flowers and shared some out, before putting the remaining ones back in his pack. We ate them in silence. Grayson was staring absentmindedly away beyond the tree we sat in. His eyes still reflected that pain that never seemed to disappear. I was so curious. I wanted to know why, how, when, what. I wanted to know why there was pain behind that bright smile of his, why there were shadows that danced in his eyes. What caused it. Grayson noticed me staring. I looked away, slightly bashful.

"You've got questions. I can tell." He said, dropping his hands into his lap. "What do you want to know?" I looked up at him, now feeling guilty. I didn't know how I would ask him the questions I wanted to ask. It would sound stupid if I just asked why he looked so pained and traumatised. It would be rather stupid of me, and of course, I didn't want to offend him. He just seemed so...delicate.

"Well, this may sound very, very stupid, but whenever I look at you..." I wavered off. Grayson straightened his back and looked at me curiously. He tilted his head to the side. I took a deep breath. "I always see a certain pain in your eyes that never seems to go, like you were traumatised at a young age or something. I'm sorry if I offended you, it's just I want to know why." Grayson smiled somewhat.

"I look pained and traumatised? Perhaps I am. I wouldn't know." Grayson looked at me. "Tell me, what do you see?" He looked into my eyes intently.

"I just see pain, trauma and an innocence that was shattered." I answered. Grayson nodded slowly and leaned back against another branch.

"I guess you could say that. I mean, I don't know, but it's probably what I've seen that's making me appear like this. And I'm guessing you want to know what I've seen, what I've done...and why." He then leaned forwards slightly, keeping his gaze locked on me. "I've seen my family die, I've seen my siblings starve. I've watched my parents deteriorate, turning on me at every little thing that seems to go wrong. The marks they leave on my skin are permanent. I love my siblings, my little sisters, my younger bothers...but they think of me as a food source. I guess that's a high role when your family is starving, but it's a miserable role at that. It's also quite painful. Ever since I was young, my parents relied on me. They were both too broken to even think about feeding the family. So I took up the role. I was forced to leave my childhood behind and act as parents for my family. But no matter how much I do for them, nothing seems to be enough and I am still the worthless boy they brought into the family."

I was blinking back tears by the time he had finished. I knew he must have been pained, but I never quite imagined this. His parents were abusive, he was forced to take on the father role for his younger siblings, he watched members of his family die. I thought I had it rough. I guessed it was a case of 'don't judge a book by its cover'.

"Grayson." I whispered, moving forwards and engulfing him into a hug, "I am so sorry." I buried my head into his shoulder. It felt very much like the night before the bloodbath, when it was just us. Just us and fear. Just us and harsh reality.

"There's no need to feel sorry for me. It's just how it is, I can't change that." He said.

"Grayson, if there is anything I can do, I-" I started, but Grayson cut me off. He pulled away from me and looked me directly into my eyes, his hands on my shoulders.

"I do appreciate that, but there's nothing you can do. We're in the Hunger Games. Only one gets out."