Cold Night

I was unpacking my stuff when a very good looking boy asked if I needed help. I ran away because I realised it was Josh.

I just hoped he didn't reconize me, even if he didnt he soon would. When moving here I thought nothing of it but when I got here I remembered Josh... He lived here.

Im not exactly sane, I have some mental problems.... Like Depression and Insomnia. I selfharm and I take pills... yeah that sums me up.

I unpacked, and decorated my room. I was really hungry but I needed to scout out the area and find a job, I loved my nan and there was no way in hell I was going to let her pay for me as well.

"Oli sweetie I made some lunch?"

"Thanks nan, I'll be down in a min"

I was on tumblr again. I noticed Josh had posted a text.

"Today I was walking home from college, I noticed a boy, heavily tattooed, brown hair ect moving in with his nan... he looked 16/17... I really want to find him again so if any of you know who he is comment, Il be really greatful."
Shit he was talking about me...
I then noticed there were 7 comments so I clicked on them

"Are you talking about him?" and inserted was a picture of me

"yes"

"His name is Oliver Sykes"

"Awh Okay thank you so much"

All the other comments were saying how "hot" or "cute" i was. People on the internet were scary.

I ate and I was now out on the london streets, I walked around corner and there was a bar. I went inside and walked up to the bar.

"Hello, have you got any jobs going??" I asked.

"Yes, just bar working, cleaning etc"

"I'll take it"

"Okay, you can start tomorrow at 7"
"omg thank you"

Yes I got a job!!!!!!
I burst through my front door scaring the shit out of my nan,

"OMG NAN I GOT A JOB"
she kept her head down, she didnt say a thing'

"Nan whats wrong, youre scaring me?"

"sit down oliver"

So I did, I was truly scared right now, normally my nan is so full of life, but she seems broken.

"Okay so I had a hospital appointment today"

"what! why didn't you tell me?"

"Oliver just bloody listen"

"okay sorry nan"

"okay as I was saying, Oliver sweetie i'm ill"

"what....what do you mean youre ill"

"Oli sweetie, I have cancer"
-=--------------------------------------------------
From then on my whole life turned to shit. My nan was the only person who understood me, properly loved me you know? and she is dying? My depressions been getting worse and I spent all my free time with my nan.

Work was fine, i got paided enough to pay rent every month.

I just wanted my nan to get better,, but she didn't and today was the day she passed away. 22/11/2013. heaven gained an angel tonight.

I posted a picture on tumblr of me and my nan.
but then I started to get hate mail.
"youre an attention seeking prick go kill your self!" and "see your nan left no one fucking wants you!" that was that I eneded up cutting over twenty cuts on each arm and leg.

I was about to log off when I got a message, i opended it thinking is was more hate but it werent.
"Hey beautiful, Ive read what people are saying and there cunts! I want you, text me okay (it had his number), maybe we can meet or something?
love Josh xxx"

That put a huge smile on my face. I felt somewhat a tiny hint of happiness under the layers of saddness. I was falling for a boy Ive never really meet.